Never Say Goodbye (Rebel Walking #6) (26 page)

"Z, I need to talk to the guys, but shit you're definitely my top choice."

"That was a blast.  You guys are badass and I'd love to do more with you.  Luke, I hope you think I can hang with you."

"You did alright.  I could see you working well with the guys."

"Luke, you have to join us again.  That shit was amazing."  Taron continues to push, although right now he's probably the closest to me saying yes than he's ever been.  I miss this feeling.  I miss being able to let loose of my passion and play until I'm dead fucking tired.  There's nothing like that feeling.  I used to go to the gym for hours in search of this feeling, but it never came.

"We'll see.  Don't rule me out yet."  

"Fuck yes!  I knew once you were in here, you'd come around.  God, I missed you, man."  I start to strum the strings a few times, slowly winding down my beating heart.  

I may try to deny this part of my life, but there's one thing I can't refuse.  The way I feel right now is something I've missed with everything in my soul.  I need this back in my life one way or another.

Chapter Eight

Kimber

I’ve spent an entire day looking at places while Eaven and Ivy insist that we just stay with them.  I'd never impose on someone like that and besides that, Luke and I need our own space to start this new life we both need so much.  We deserve our happiness.

Luke messaged me saying he wants to meet me at his house.  I hope this means he's doing better and is ready to work out some of the issues he has last night when he tried to go inside.  

Eaven and Ivy are amazing and I'm very lucky to have them helping.  Ivy was at the studio this morning with Heaven and she said Luke actually started playing guitar before she left.  That's a huge step for him and it makes me feel hopeful that he's in a great place.

We get to the house before he does and Eaven lets us in.  Ivy went home to get Heaven a nap in.  We decide to sit at the table and wait for him to show.

“You may have to help him go through some of this mail.  I should've opened all of it and pulled out any that referenced the accident.  I know so many of them are fan girls because most of this came from his private post office box.”

“Yeah, I will for sure.  He won't want to deal with all of that.”

“There's a few in there that I really wanted him to see.  Hell, one claims to be carrying his child.”  Her words surprise me and I begin to move toward the box to pull a few out.  What are the odds he does have a baby out there?  I can't help but be a little jealous of that idea because I'm hoping one day that will be us.  

If he’s going to be a dad, we’ll manage.  He would've treated mine like his, there's no doubt in my mind.  

I’m opening the second envelope when I hear the sound of a truck in the driveway.  

Luke comes in the door and walks quickly toward me.  I drop the letters back in the box and watch for his behavior.  He's direct and focused on me.  He leans down to give me a deep kiss the second he reaches me.  What in the hell has gotten into him?  I don't want to ask, because I don't want to jinx it.  

He's obviously in a great mood and I need to let him have this.

“How was your day?”  He's asking me the question I'm dying to know about him.

“We had a great time!  How about you?”

“I tore it up with the guys and I feel great!”  I’ve never seen him like this.  Not even last night was to this level.  He seems so carefree and without stress.  I'm going to love this side of Luke.

“I want us to go out with the gang tonight to dinner, but first I'm going to go through a few things here.  How did your search go today?”

“Luke, don't be ridiculous!  You can stay with us.  I'm not letting you rush into some apartment while you're in limbo trying to decide where to live.”  Eaven is very determined as she stands to face Luke in all her sass.  

“Ev, I love you, but I'm not living with you.  We’ll work it all out.  Plus, I'm going to try to work through a few things and this place may work for us.”

“Alright, well if we’re gonna meet you for dinner, I need to go get ready.  I'll leave you my truck and catch a ride with Talon.”  She tosses Luke the keys.  “We cleaned your shit up at the hotel, because you're not staying there again.  Family doesn't let family sleep in fuckin’ hotels Luke.  We have an extra bed, so get over yourself.”

He pulls her close and kisses her forehead while she continues to talk.

“Thank you, Ev.  We’ll either stay here tonight, or we’ll take you up on that offer.  Now go get cute, because we’re going out.”

“Alright.  But do you need me to stay here for a bit?”

“No. I'm good.  We’ll see you soon.”  Eaven leans over me giving me a tight hug, then she walks out.  

Luke sits next to me and starts looking around.  He's taking it all in and I don't dare move anything until he’s had the chance to accept it all.  

He stands and walks into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator.  I'm not sure what he expects to be in there after six months, but I make a mental note to go to the grocery store tomorrow.

“Eaven is the fucking best.  She stocked my fridge.  I'm gonna have to do some cool shit for her one day soon.”  Cool shit?  He's starting to change the way he words sentences.  In California he was so reserved and calculated, I never heard him say ‘cool’.

“She really cares about you.”

“Yeah, we’ve always been close cousins.  I can't imagine most of my childhood without her.”

He pulls out a beer and pops the lid off.  I watch him walk around the house, slowly taking it all in.  He sits on the couch with a picture frame and I let him have his space.  

“She was killed by a drunk driver.  We were leaving a party and some asshole came in our lane and killed her.”  He pauses and I wait, allowing him as much time as he needs.

“We’re going to do a CD in memory of her and donate all the money to a charity that advocates against drinking and driving.”

“That's a great idea, Luke.”

“She would want that.  She would expect me to do something with her memory to help others.”

“Tell me how I can help and I'd be glad to.”

“Did you find anything today?”

“A few apartments.  One rent house, but I didn't care for it.”

“We can buy a house.”

“I thought of that, but I only have a little over one hundred grand, and with no job out here, I'm not sure I can get financing.”

“Our songs did ridiculously well when I was gone.  I have plenty of money for us to buy a house of our own.”  I don't know what to say.  How did we go from barely making it in California to being able to buy a house using cash now?  It's just crazy to me.

“I’ll start looking tomorrow.”

“I want you to look for a building to put in a gym.  I know it's your passion and this town could use a great gym like Lou had.”

“Luke.  I'm just not sure we should jump into all of that right off.”

“I've learned you don't wait in life.  You conquer your dreams.  Life is too fucking short for anything less.”  He sets the frame back on the ledge and walks toward me once again.  “I'm going to grab our things and take a shower.  How much time do you need before you're ready?”

“I can be ready in thirty minutes.”

“Sounds perfect.  I’ll get that shower and we’ll take off for the night.  The master room is back that way, so make yourself at home.  That's where I'll be taking my shower.”  He goes outside and brings in our bags.  

“Have you heard from the movers?”  he asks when he walks past me.

“They'll be here in the morning.”

“I bet you're ready to have your stuff.”

“Yeah, it'll be nice.”

“Alright, I'm off to shower!” he yells as he walks out of the room.  I let my mind continue battling the curiosity of him being a dad.  I stand to pull out a few more envelopes, trying to figure out which one she was talking about.  It seems like half are opened, so I focus on those.  

There's one without an address, so I open it.  My heart hurts when I read the words.  

Luke,

I can't keep this from you any longer.  I love you and miss you every single minute of every day.  Please know I had to do it to protect you and my family.  I would never put you in danger and I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me.

You deserve to know about him.  He's the love of my life.  I hope one day I can let you meet him, but until then just know you'll always have a special place in my heart.  

I'm sending you his very first picture.  I've placed kisses on it with tears in my eyes just thinking of how hurt you'll be to read this, but I know I just can't keep him from you.  He'll have your last name and I promise to tell him that he was conceived in love and that his father is the best man I've ever known.      

I Love you forever and always,

Your Freebird

How can this be?  She died, right?  I know Freebird is Lilly.  I know this letter is meant to make Luke think she’s alive.  His emotions cannot handle a scam like this.  I'm going to show this to Holden as soon as I can.  Maybe he can get to the bottom of it.  Luke deserves to remain like he is emotionally.  Hell, he’s fought so hard to let her go.  How would he take someone pretending to be her?  

I tuck the letter in the bottom of my bag and drop the others back in the box.  This is one sick joke and I can't take any chances that he'd see this letter.  

The ultrasound makes me sad.  Someone who would play around like this shouldn't be using a baby to get to him.  

I sit down at the table and try to process this.  Lilly definitely died, right?  There's a few ways to find out, but I cringe at the thought of asking any of the crew.  They'll think I'm insane.  

We live in a world of technology and right now I'm going to let that be to my advantage.  

I bring up the Internet on my phone and search for the ‘Lilly of Rebel Walking’.  She was gorgeous. I'm instantly intrigued and see so many pictures of Luke with her.  His face is so happy.  A happy I can't even describe.

I change my search to include the word ‘death’ and her funeral information comes up.  A picture of Luke playing in front of a casket breaks my heart and I close the screen immediately.  

Someone is playing a sick fucking joke on Luke and I won't allow it to get to him.  

Luke startles me when he enters and I try not to jump.  He's walking around in a towel and he knows I hate when he teases me like this.

“A towel?”

“I could lose it if you want me to.”  He encloses on me, grinding his hips into mine as I stand in front of the table.  

“How firm on that thirty minutes are you?”

“I'm very firm.”  

“Your flirting is funny!”

“You're harsh on a man’s mojo when you laugh, you know.”  He doesn't move away an inch and in fact, he’s grinding me into the table as he fills his hands with parts of my body.  

“Are you gonna make that thirty minutes?”

“Not if you distract me.”  He pulls my earlobe in between his lips and sucks on it enough to make me question my concern for timing tonight.  

“I can stop.”

“You could….”  A phone rings, interrupting his advance.  He walks into the kitchen and picks up the handset from the wall.

“Hello.”  I wait to see what else he says.

“Hello.  Anyone there?”  He holds the phone to his ear for a few more seconds before he hangs it up.  “I guess it was a wrong number.”

He steps toward his room again and calls for me to join him and I follow without hesitation.  

Chapter Nine

Luke

I can do this.  Taking each moment at a time, I can get through this.  I've never had another woman in my bedroom, so having Kimber in here doesn't feel awkward.  

She's beautiful and she deserves to know that even if I've been impossible to be around.  I know this has been difficult on her.  She doesn't know a single person and I've uprooted her entire life to come with me.  She’s been great at understanding, but it's time I show her some appreciation.

“Lie on your stomach.”  I grab the lotion that I just used and straddle her hips.  “Pull your shirt up.”

“You're so demanding.”

“I am.  Now do everything I say.”

“Yes, your majesty.”  I unhook her bra before applying lotion to my hands, rubbing my hands together before I touch her.  “I'm going to pamper you.”

“Oh, I could get used to this.”

“You’d better.  Because in my experience, a back rub turns into hot sex.”

“Oh really!”  She's laughing at me as if I'm absurd.

“Yes, it does.”  I begin to use my hands on her back, letting one slide around her body and massage her tit from the side.  She's angling her body a little, giving me better access.  I rub her neck, shoulders, and work my way down her spine until I'm at her lower back.  Using my thumbs on both sides, I start to circle my movements and hear her moan at my touch.  I know what I'm doing when it comes to the body of a woman.  Even though she’ll have special areas that she’s more sensitive to, I know I can't go wrong with the basics.

“Why haven’t you done this before?”

“Because once I show this off, there's no going back.  You’ll be beggin’ for it every night.”  

“Oh yeah, I might be.”  

I continue to move my hands over her perfect back, even sliding my fingers past her waistband, just before I lean up and roll her over.  Her bra is open so her tits move around it, making me pull the lace out of the way of my view.

“Take this off.”  She slides the straps off her arms and my towel comes undone at my waist, falling onto her legs.  She looks down and smiles.

“Am I about to get the special package?”

“I think you deserve it.  You've been such a good victim and all.”  Her laughter shakes me.

“Victim?”

“I've never done a full body massage, I think it's time to try.”

“What happened to us being in a hurry?”