Never Say Never (16 page)

The pressure from my hand increased as I touched her, caressing her, holding the fullness of her small breast before finding her nipple again and rolling it between my fingers. She was moaning now, melting back into me, her body weak and languid. I gathered her in my arms, my hand moving between both breasts now, gently rubbing, pinching, delighting in the way her body arched against me.

She was squeezing my other hand tightly, her breathing ragged as she began to move in earnest.

“Leslie.” My name burst from her lips, her voice low and throaty as she twisted her head back, lifting one hand to the back of my head as she claimed my mouth with hers. Her passion exploded with that kiss, and she slipped down against me, lying on her back while she urged me over her.

My body moved on top of hers, my hands falling to her breasts as my mouth found hers again. She held my tongue inside her mouth, sucking deeply as her arms bent around my neck, crushing me to her.

I pushed the fabric of her shirt away, and my mouth joined my hands as lips and tongue and fingers danced across her nipples, causing her to cry out again.

“Leslie.” Again my name was on her lips, this time with such urgency that I lifted my head, suddenly uncertain. I found her eyes, wide open and staring into mine, silently screaming with desire.

“Are you okay?” I whispered breathlessly.

She bit her bottom lip. “Please. Don’t stop.” Her words melted me, and I buried my face in her breasts, kissing her sweetly as her fingers raked my scalp. One hand moved down as the other continued to caress her, my mouth insistent on her breast.

Fingers flitted across her belly, dipping inside the waistband of her underwear.

Unbidden emotions rose inside me, making me shiver with a sudden rush of nervousness. I hesitated, faltered. Other images rushed to my mind.
What am I doing?
My inner voice screamed.

This is Sara. Sara.
Shaking now, I relaxed against her, my head dropping down to rest on her chest, my arms growing weak and limp as I lay unmoving, breathing hard.
Sara.

Her body stilled beneath me, the heartbeat under my ear growing steady. Her hands relaxed in my hair, becoming gentle as she brushed my forehead. Then her hands were sure and strong, rubbing my back, easing the tension in my shoulders.

“Come here.” She spoke quietly, lifting herself just enough to reach down and urge me forward. Without meeting her gaze, I buried my face in her neck, completely embarrassed, feeling a failure.
How could I have let this happen?

Her hands moved up and down my back, slowly comforting and caressing. They found their way beneath my shirt, her fingers cool against the heat of my skin. I sighed heavily, trying to hear my mind, trying to feel nothing but the luxury of her hands on my body.

The pressure from her hands increased, her breathing becoming uneven again as she moved beneath me, lifting me so that her hands could move to my side. She tugged at my shirt, pulling it up and over my head so quickly that I hardly noticed.

Gentle kisses dropped on my neck, my cheek, across my eyelids.

Hands were everywhere, exploring my bare skin, lifting me.

Fingers shyly brushed across my breasts.

My body shuddered, arousal rekindled, and I raised myself on one elbow. My mouth touched hers and I kissed her deeply as my hand found her breasts, teasing her nipples until she was moaning again. She repeated my name, asking me not to stop.

My heart swelled, and I gathered her close, still kissing her as my hand journeyed across her belly once again. She held me tightly as my fingers slipped inside the cotton briefs. I held my breath; her body strained with anticipation as I reached down. A moan escaped me as my fingers disappeared into the folds of her wetness. So soft. My fingers began their exploration, my passion fueled by the small shivers that already shook her body.

Gently at first, my fingers coaxed her, increasing in pressure, then pushing deeply inside of her. Slowly withdrawing to tease and stroke some more, then easing back inside. My fingers pressed deeply as my hand rubbed gently, coaxed, cajoled, urged.

She grasped me to her tightly, dragging her mouth from mine as she struggled to breathe. Her body stiffened, hovered, and squeezed against me tightly before falling back, shuddering, racked with tremors.

I held her, loving her. Wanting to say the words but not daring to. The shivers in her body were quelled for a moment before she began to move against me again, the muscles inside her squeezing around my fingers, urging me deeper. I moved quickly this time, and she called out again, her body nearly lurching from the bed as she grabbed me and pulled me fully down on top of her, wrapping both arms and a leg around my body.

I let her hold me that way until her body stilled and her heartbeat quieted. Then I carefully lifted myself up until my face was above hers. I pressed my lips to her cheek, slowly moving to her temple, across her closed eyelids. My weight shifted to one elbow as I reached up and brushed damp curls from her forehead. She took deep breaths, trying to steady herself as a smile played on her lips. My lips caught hers again. Her response was automatic; lips parted to receive the kiss eagerly. I hovered there, feeling her lips search for mine, smiling as I felt her body stretch beneath me. At last her eyes opened, ever so slightly, shyly peeking from beneath her lashes.

“Good morning,” I whispered.

She smiled lazily, face flushing. “Good morning,” she replied, her voice low. “Do you always wake your lovers this way?”
Your lovers.
I played the words in my mind again.
Lovers.

“Only the very special ones,” I told her, kissing her again.

“Are you okay?”

Her eyes grew wide. “
Okay
doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. Try happy. Ecstatic. Surprised. And very, very amorous.” She lifted a hand behind my head, planting a kiss on my mouth. “I thought you said last night that you wanted to go slowly. It makes me wonder just what you might call moving fast.”

My face burned red and I dropped my eyes, self-conscious.

“I couldn’t help myself. I was holding you.” I stammered. “I’m sorry.”

She put a finger to my lips. “Please don’t say that. I’m not sorry. Not at all. Please don’t make me think that you regret this already.”

“I don’t.” I jumped to assure her. “I’m not sorry, either. Just nervous,” I admitted.

“That makes two of us.” She smiled, and her hand went to my cheek, fingers brushing lightly against my skin. “You’re a wonderful lover, Leslie.” Her voice was low. “But I’m afraid that I won’t know how to touch you. . .”

“You don’t have to. . .”

“But I want to so much.” She raised her head, mouth claiming mine yet again as she urged me back, rolling me over until she was on top of me, legs tangled in mine.

I reached down to tug at her shirt, pulling it over her head, reveling in the feel of her small naked breasts settling against mine. My hands fell to the small of her back, feeling the soft smoothness as she stretched above me. She continued to kiss me, one hand tangling in my hair as her mouth traveled to my throat and the other hand lightly caressing my shoulder.

I could sense the nervousness in her breathing and the heartbeat that thumped against me. Her touch was tentative as she lifted herself, trembling. She began to trace the curve of my breast. She was no longer kissing me, her eyes riveted on her own hand as it covered me, forcing a heavy sigh from my lips.

“Is this okay?” She lifted uncertain eyes to mine, and I was quick to reassure her, telling her that her touch was wonderful.

“You’re so soft,” she told me, voice full of wonder as she drew a hesitant finger across my nipple. My body reacted without volition. My quick intake of breath was sharp. She smiled down at me, eyes wide and dark as she grew more confident. She reveled in watching my reaction to her touch, and I closed my eyes to stifle my embarrassment. Both hands were on me now, beginning to explore in earnest as her lips followed. Her mouth was slow and wet. She trailed kisses down my neck and across my chest.

Her tongue teased me as her mouth covered first one breast, then the other. Fingers and hands and mouth and tongue were everywhere, driving me wild, torturing me, pushing and pulling and forcing me to focus on nothing else. All the while, her voice came to me, whispering endearments, marveling at what she was feeling, amazed that she could bring me such pleasure.

She delighted in the shivers that coursed through my body, in the moans I could no longer contain. Each stroke was an unbearable mixture of torment and ecstasy, until finally she gave in. Her fingers hesitated only a bit before reaching down and finding me soaked with pleasure. In an instant, my body was racked with tremors as my arms crushed her against me.

Before I could catch my breath, she moved again, hands and mouth continuing to play along my skin. I reached out, exclaiming as I did, “Please.” My hand found hers and I held it still. “I need a moment —” My body shivered involuntarily, and a laugh slipped from my mouth. My eyes finally opened to find hers wide with amazement. “You’re killing me.” I grinned, feeling too weak to hug her the way I wanted.

“Ooh, but what a way to go.” She laughed seductively, hugging me tightly and covering my face with kisses. Then she rolled away just enough to lean on one elbow, her head resting against the palm of her hand. She lifted the sheet and carefully tucked it around me before letting her fingers trail up and down my arm, soothing me.

I’d never seen such a look of pure pleasure on her face before.

Her eyes sparkled with brilliance. A silly smile was plastered on her lips.

“You sure look awfully pleased with yourself,” I laughed.

“I am.” Her grin grew wider. “If I had known this would be so wonderful, I would have told you how I felt a long time ago.”

“Really?” My heart had finally stopped racing. “And when might that have been, exactly.”

She wrinkled her nose. “The truth?”

“Please.”

“Well,” she drew the word out slowly. “I already had suspicions the night you told me that you were gay.” Her smile relaxed. “I was confused because I knew I was awfully fond of you. You just helped me put a name on it.”

“That long ago?” I was shocked.

“Uh huh,” she nodded. Her fingers were on my neck, brushing lightly, lingering over my collar bone. When she spoke again, her tone was low and full of regret. “It took me too long to admit how I felt. By the time I’d managed to let myself think about it, we weren’t even speaking to each other.”

She frowned, and I reached up and smoothed the crease between her brows. Then I brushed her hair from her down-turned face.

“So that’s why you didn’t seem to mind when I told you that Billy wanted us both down here,” I said softly.

Her face colored guiltily. “I wanted the chance to be close to you again.”

My fingers stroked her hair, comforting her. “And?”

“And then we went out that night with Billy and we met Michelle. That was a tough night for me,” she admitted, sighing and moving her fingertips along my throat. “At first I was amused, watching you squirm when she came over to our table. But then I watched you dance with her, and something inside of me just snapped.” She turned her eyes to mine, smiling wryly. “You were seducing each other right there in front of me. And all I could think of was that it should have been me out there instead of her.”

“I don’t believe it.” I was dumbfounded, remembering how nervous and embarrassed I’d been when I had caught Sara watching us on the dance floor. “I had no idea at all. I thought you were probably disgusted by the whole thing. In fact, I thought that was why you went back to Boston the next morning.” She raised her eyes to the ceiling and sighed. “Not quite. I spent the whole night lying awake and arguing with myself about what I was feeling. You don’t know how close I came to knocking on that door and spilling my guts to you right then. I got so scared about what I was feeling that I was packed and out of here before six the next morning.”

I let my mind drift back, remembering the weekend. “But you were fine when you got back. In fact, that’s when we really started spending time together again.”

Sara nodded. “I spent that weekend convincing myself that I had confused my feelings. I had every intention of coming back and just being the best friend that I could possibly be. It worked for a while. But I was kidding myself.” She bent down to kiss me again, slowly. “What about you?” she asked against my mouth.

“I think I’ve always had an itty-bitty crush on you.” I lifted one hand, my thumb and forefinger about a half-inch apart to illustrate.

“I’m flattered,” she teased.

“You didn’t know?”

She shook her head. “No. You’ve always been careful to keep your distance from me.” Her fingers found mine and they entwined automatically. “Would you ever have told me?” My expression withdrew as I told her the truth. “No.” Her lips tugged down at one corner. “That rule again, huh?” I nodded. “I never would have risked it,” I said quietly.

She studied me for a while, her features softening. “Then I’m even more glad that I told you last night.”

“Me too.” I reached up to put both hands to her face, pulling her mouth down to mine in a long kiss. The stirring in my stomach began again. “Mmm. Should we order room service?”

“Coffee would be nice,” she murmured in my ear as she lifted herself up and over until her full weight was on top of me.

I reached for the phone, blindly punching in the numbers and waiting for a response on the other end. Sara’s tongue deftly circled my nipple as I ordered coffee and continental breakfast.

She reached down, tugging my underwear past my knees as I dropped the phone back in its cradle. Her mouth found mine, suffocating me.

“How long will they be?” she asked breathlessly as my hand found her breast.

My mouth strained toward her. “Don’t worry. We have plenty of time.”

Our joy continued through the weekend, spilling over into the week and flourishing throughout the month.

Each day brought a new level of intimacy, both physical and emotional. Physically, Sara was like a puppy with a new toy, delighting in every nuance of our bodies. She was eager to touch and be touched, to discover all of the hidden, special places that brought about such pleasure. She didn’t hesitate to tell me whenever she discovered yet another way in which women and men were different. With wide-eyed looks of wonderment, she would slowly shake her head, amazed by one discovery after another. She would then smile a slow smile, wanting to tell me about it, coddling and cherishing each revelation before filing it away inside of her mind. While part of me cringed at such comparisons, I listened to every word, wanting to be there for her, wanting to make sure that I threw up no barriers between us.