Never Say Never (7 page)

            “Listen,
it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're in charge here. Of the band,
I mean. The others are incredibly talented – but you're clearly the organizer
here.”

            “I
guess. The guys like to leave the admin stuff to me – I'm pretty good at it.”

            “So
I trust you completely – if the boys trust you, so do I. But I wanted to get
your input on something. I'll go along with whatever you have to say.”

            “Of
course?” What was he talking about?

            “We
haven't talked about the obvious.”

           
You
mean the fact that I'm practically salivating over you?

           
“Was
it that obvious?”

            “We
haven't met since Monday morning – but tomorrow is class.”

            “Oh.”
My face fell. “That.”

            “I'm
still your TA. I've avoided bringing it up because I'm not sure how much of an
issue it's going to be. And I'm definitely in for this Friday – you guys needed
a guitarist and I'm in. But if, after that, it's weird for you having your TA
in your band...”

            “Not
at all...”

            “Ethically,
it's put me in a bit of a tight spot. I do some of the grading for the course,
and while I'm sure Professor Poe would understand if I asked him if I could excuse
myself from marking your work in particular, I don't want you to
feel...obligated.”

            “I
don't – really.” I didn't have to think. “We need you here. You're even better
than Geoff – though don't let him hear you say that. And the TA stuff – I mean,
I'm friends with a few grad students. It's not that weird. It happens. If you
can get out of grading my stuff, though, it'd probably be easier...”

            “I
just don't want you to feel like I'm in a position of power over you,” he said.

           
I'm
not sure I'd mind that,
I couldn't help thinking. But I only swallowed and
nodded. “Believe me, you're not.” I said, in a voice that came out cockier than
I meant it.

            He
smiled – a slow, sexy smile that revealed that he was amused. “Well. I'm glad
you're a girl who knows how to stay in control.”

            “I'm
good at that.”

            “Then
you won't have a problem coming back to my place, will you?”
Is he flirting?
Neve – get a grip – was that flirtation?

           
“As
long as you haven't got any neighbors to complain about the noise.”    

            “No
neighbors close enough to hear – believe me...I make a
lot
of noise.”

            This
time I was pretty sure he was flirting.

            “I'm
intrigued.”

            “I
certainly hope you are, Never Ever.” He put a hand on my knee and I felt my
whole body tingle with anticipation. “You're certainly an intriguing character
yourself.”

            “You
think so?” I was aching for him – every fiber of my being calling out for him
to touch me again.

            “You're
a mystery.”    

            I
laughed aloud. The tabloids had been covering me ever since I was six years
old. “I doubt that very much,” I couldn't help saying. “I'm an open book – I
can promise you that much. My life's been splashed out on every...”

            “Because
of your dad?”

            So
he'd known the whole time. I flushed slightly.

            “So
you know. That I'm just another celebutante trying to make it big.”

            “I
don't think that about you,” he said. “I think if you were, you'd have brought
us back to your dad's house – you'd try to capitalize on your name. I haven't
seen you doing that. You're a mystery to me, Never.” His eyes darkened as they
lingered on my face, on my lips. The look he had on his face made my stomach do
flip-flops. What I saw in his eyes – was this desire?

            He
turned abruptly back to the road, stopping the car. “Here we are,” he said
quickly.

            I
gasped as I saw his house. Danny lived overlooking the sea, on a tiny remote
cottage that looked less like a rock star's pad than like a charming bed and
breakfast. Luc, Kyle, and Steve pulled in behind us, and Danny got out of the
car, interrupting our interlude.

            “Nice
place, huh?” Danny said. “I got it for the view. Reminds me of my place in
England, near the waterfront.”

            The
house was charming inside and out – simple and rustic, with gorgeous ocean
views that seemed even more breathtaking in the moonlight.

            “What
is this, Ye Olde Seaside Inn?” asked Steve, laughing.           

            “Mock
it all you like,” Danny said grinning, “but I bet I can out-rock you any day,
paisley curtains or no!”

            So
we got to jamming. Once again, Danny amazed me – his fingers were so tight, so
caressing on the guitar, that watching him play felt like watching a master at
work. He knew when to stroke, when to pluck, when to hold – I watched his
fingers playing with the string and imagined those hands on my body, against my
skin...

            I
shook my head.
Concentrate, Neve.

           
But
Danny Blue wasn't making it easy.

Chapter
7

           
F
or the next two days, we spent nearly 24/7
practicing at Danny's house. I didn't get much time to follow up our previous
conversation. Time was of the essence, and right now we were all business – we
barely even had time to exchange “how are you's” and “how are you doings”
before settling down to work. And for his part, Danny seemed to have entirely
forgotten the flirtatious conversation we'd had in the car – if, indeed, it had
been flirtatious at all. His demeanor was stiff – almost cold – something even
Kyle and Luc had picked up on, deciding between them that it was due to his
Englishness. They'd started calling him “English,” to his mild amusement, and
cracking jokes about tea and biscuits every opportunity they got. But I
couldn't help but wonder if his sudden coolness had something to do with how
close we'd gotten – or almost gotten – in the car the week before. I found
myself feeling flustered – unable to focus, getting painfully close to
distraction, wondering if Danny found me beautiful, found me attractive enough,
whether or not he had a girlfriend...questions I'd never asked myself before.

            But
I didn't have too much time to worry.  We had a show to do, and time was
running out. Thursday night we rehearsed until three in the morning, and we had
only just begun to catch a glimpse of the sunrise on the horizon to the east
when at last Danny began to yawn.

            “Time
to pack up,” said Kyle, leaping to his feet. “I'm crashing with Luc and Steve
tonight so I don't have such a long commute to campus tomorrow. Neve, do you
mind driving yourself back?” This time I'd brought my own car.

            “Go
on ahead!” I said, bidding farewell to the others and watching as they drove
off into the distance. I fumbled with my keys, packing up my equipment and
heading into the car.

           
Bam
!
No sooner had I started up the car than I felt an unmistakable jolt, followed
by a sense of deflation. I'd run over something sharp – who knew what? - and my
tire had gone from full to flat in a matter of seconds.

           
Damn
it.
I'd been meaning to change the spare tire for weeks, but somehow
between the excitement of college and the stress of the band I hadn't been able
to make it to the shop. “Guys!” I called out, but they'd already gone. I
instinctively picked up my cell phone, ready to dial, before sighing in
exasperation. The battery was flat. I'd have to ask Danny for the use of his
living room sofa – or else for his car keys – two requests that seemed awfully
intimate given our relative coldness. But there was nobody out here for miles –
there was no way I could walk back myself. I'd have to ask Danny...

            Flushing
with embarrassment, I made my way back to Danny's house. I knocked softly, but
I heard no reply.

            “Danny?”
I called out. I followed the lights into his bedroom, but stopped on the
threshold, embarrassed. Danny was sitting on the bed, entirely naked except for
a towel, his hair soaking wet, playing on his acoustic guitar, which had
drowned out my words.

            I
turned bright pink and stepped back. It was awkward enough walking in on my TA
at 4 in the morning – did he have to be naked, too? My heart was fluttering
faster than one of Steve's beats – if Danny's muscle tees suggested chiseled,
ripped, abs, they certainly didn't do him proper justice; now that he was
shirtless, I could tell that Danny was easily the most toned guy I'd ever met. His
skin glistened and across his chest and one shoulder was some kind of medieval pattern
tattoo. Over his heart, there was a large lion’s head in blue. From this
distance I couldn’t see the entire pattern or make out the words scrawled
beneath it across his lower stomach leading down to the v hidden by his towel
slung loosely low on his hips. I gulped.  As much as I tried, I couldn’t take
my eyes off of him. Danny Blue made wearing clothes to cover up that gorgeous
body a sin.
Why does he have to be so hot?

           
He
was playing a haunting song on the guitar.

            “Danny...”
I whispered – but as soon as I caught sight of his face I fell silent. His eyes
were red, and tears were streaming down his face. He was singing...

            “
Since
I lost you/I've never known

            how
to feel anything but alone

            Since
you're gone – all I can see

            An
empty road in front of me...”

           
His
voice grew ragged and rough with his tears; he closed his eyes and kept on
playing.

            “
I
can't see the rest of it through

            knowing
I'm living without you

            One
year today – and it's still not real

            One
year today – I cannot heal...”

           
He
stopped playing, and in a fury pushed his guitar to the floor. It clattered
loudly – and I stepped back, embarrassed. I didn't want him to know I'd seen
him like this. Better to spend the night in my car...

            I
tiptoed backwards towards the door, hoping I wouldn't disturb him. Maybe if I
just knocked again, more loudly, he'd think I'd just arrived. I waited a few
minutes before I cleared my throat loudly and knocked again at the front door.

            This
time all the lights were off. He must have gone to sleep. But I couldn't wait
any longer. Already I was hazy on my feet, half-asleep with exhaustion. I
needed to get some sleep – I was dead tired and I needed to be in top form for
tomorrow. I crept back into his bedroom, praying that I'd be able to wake him
up without touching him.

            I
stumbled my way towards him, not able to see much except in the darken room
except the outline of his bed and him in it. “Danny...” I whispered. “Danny,
wake up...”

            I
caught sight of his towel on the floor near his bed, almost tripping on it – he
must have gone to bed completely naked. The thought filled me with a mixture of
embarrassment and desire, remembering what I had seen of him just moments
before. “Danny...”

            I
didn't want to do this, but I didn't have a choice. I reached out to touch him,
tapping his shoulder. “Danny, I'm really sorry, but...”

            He
groaned lightly. “You...” he murmured. “I've been missing you...”

            My
heart skipped a beat.
Danny Blue had missed me.

            He
reached out and pulled me to him. “You feel so soft,” he murmured, resting his
head against my stomach. “You smell so good....”

            “Danny,
wake...”

            I
wanted to say something, but no sooner had I opened my mouth than he pulled me
onto the bed and stopped it with a kiss. Instantly my mind went blank – the
touch was electric, overwhelming. The smell of him was intoxicating.

           
Nobody
in the band, Neve...

           
But
feeling Danny Blue with his arms around me was too good to resist. I couldn't
push him away now. So – he'd wanted me, too. As much as I had wanted him. It
had felt right...in my sleep-deprived state I was no longer sure whether I was
asleep or awake. All I knew was that his lips tasted so good on mine. I'd
wanted him for so long.
And he wanted me too.

            He
threw an arm across my body, pinning me in place.

            “Danny...”
I tried to say. “I need your keys...” But I was so tired, so sleepy, that the
words wouldn't come. Before I knew it, I was asleep in his arms, his naked body
warm and sweaty against my own.

            I
woke up to the light streaming in through the window, and the smell of the
salty sea air.
Where was I?
And then I remembered. I was in Danny's bed
– we'd kissed – we'd fallen asleep side by side. I looked over at him – he'd
turned away from me in the middle of the night, his hair tousled with sleep,
his long dark lashes fanned out on his chiseled cheekbones.  Even in sleep he
looked beautiful, like a fallen angel – his face strangely vulnerable without
the cocky arrogance that gave him such an irresistible presence during the day.
Tears were still wet upon his pillow. What had made him suffer so, I wondered?
What gave him such pain? I wanted to reach over and touch his face, to kiss his
full sexy lips, to wipe away the wetness that glistened from tears of pain
clinging to his lashes. He looked so vulnerable, so much like a lost little
boy.  I glanced down at myself.  I was fully clothed, but my hand was resting
underneath the covers against Danny’s hard stomach, below his waist.