Read Never Swim in Applesauce Online
Authors: Katherine Applegate
Never Swim in Applesauce (4 page)
Good-Bye from Time-Out
So that's how I ended up going for my applesauce swim.
And landed here in time-out.
My hair was pretty sticky when I got home.
So was Hazel's magic fortune-telling ball.
I think maybe some applesauce got stuck inside of it.
Because now when you ask it a question, it only has one answer: “ASK AGAIN LATER.”
Hazel was awfully nice about it, though.
When I said, “Can I borrow it again sometime?” Dad said, “Ask again later.”
My whole family's visiting the orchard next weekend.
Wyatt and his family are coming too.
We are going to pick enough apples to pay for the applesauce we ruined when we swam in it.
Apparently, nobody wants Roscoe-and-Wyatt-flavored applesauce.
So they had to throw the whole batch out.
That means we have to pick seven whole baskets of apples.
Emma's coming with us to the orchard.
She says the only way we're going to get that many apples is with her help.
I think maybe she's right.
Ms. Diz says Emma is a good buddy.
I have to agree with her on that one.
She also said our class might go on another field trip someday.
But not for a long time.
I am crossing my fingers for a chocolate-candy factory.
Think of the oozy, gooey chocolate everywhere!
How could I possibly get into trouble at a place like that?
by Me, Roscoe Riley
1. Who can produce the loudest armpit fart?
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2. Who is the fastest at tongue twisters?
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3. Who can get the biggest wad of bubble gum stuck in his hair when blowing bubbles?
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4. Who can make the coolest ugly face?
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5. Who can make the biggest cannonball splash at the pool?
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6. Who can eat the most corndogs at our Fourth of July picnic (without throwing up)?
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7. Who is the cutest smiler in the family? (Grandma could judge this one because I am almost positive I am her favorite.)
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8. Who knows the best joke?
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9. Who can make the most original LEGO construction? (Last week I made a three-headed frog on a bicycle, although so far nobody has guessed what he is.)
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10. Who is the best brother on the planet? (Okay, okayâ¦maybe this one should be a tie.)
K
ATHERINE
A
PPLEGATE
is a big fan of apples (especially when they show up in a pie). Maybe it's because she has an “apple” in her last name. When she was little, kids sometimes called her “Kay Pear-fence,” but she has forgiven them. Mostly. Katherine lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, with two kids, one husband, many pets, but sadly no apple trees.
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by Katherine Applegate
Roscoe Riley Rules #1: Never Glue Your Friends to Chairs
Roscoe Riley Rules #2: Never Swipe a Bully's Bear
Roscoe Riley Rules #3: Don't Swap Your Sweater for a Dog
Roscoe Riley Rules #4: Never Swim in Applesauce
ROSCOE RILEY RULES #4: NEVER SWIM IN APPLESAUCE
. Text copyright © 2008 by Katherine Applegate.
Illustrations copyright © 2008 by Brian Biggs. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
EPub © Edition SEPTEMBER 2009 ISBN: 9780061971617
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Just in case you want to try it, here's my favorite tongue twister (say this as fast as you can!): Toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat
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Also, here's my most favorite joke:
Question: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
Answer: To get to the other slide!
