Never to Keep (Accepting Fate #1) (23 page)

“There are other adults at school to monitor their interactions. If I file the report, Sawyer will be charged with child abuse and you will be charged with child endangerment for putting her in an unsafe situation after being warned. Peyton will be removed from your care and placed in a foster home.”

“I will not let you take Peyton to a foster home. None of this is true.” I’d run away with her before I’d let that happen. “Sawyer will lose his job over the false accusation.” Not to mention the stigma associated with being arrested for a crime against a child.

“If Peyton goes into foster care, we will be forced to file paperwork to terminate Olivia Miller’s parental rights, so that Peyton can be put up for adoption. Mrs. Miller’s been gone much longer than originally approved.”

“There has to be a way to prove this whole thing is a misunderstanding,” I pleaded.

“I will be back on Monday to re-interview your neighbors as well as his. I’ll also talk to the parents of the other kids in Peyton’s class. I’ll be forced to file the report if anyone sees the two of you together. I’ll also be monitoring your phone records and internet activity.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“I know about your job in the city. I have a witness statement that says you are involved in prostitution and that Mr. Ramsay paid for your services. I will have to include that information in the report, which will lead to additional criminal charges for both of you. Between that and the abuse charges, he would be facing at least a decade in prison. You might get only five years or so.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“It’s my job, and I take it very seriously.”

“So, you’re saying that if I stop seeing Sawyer outside of school, you’ll forget about all of this? No reports will be filed, no one will be arrested, Peyton will not be taken away, and Olivia’s parental rights will remain intact?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll talk to Sawyer tonight and let him know what’s going on.”

“N-no.” Her eyes jerked to mine, and the color drained from her face. “You can’t. All contact must cease immediately.”

“How am I supposed to keep him from showing up here if I don’t say anything?”

Her eyes darted around the room. “You can send him one text. If I find out you’ve told him about this conversation, I will be forced to file the report.”

“Doesn’t he have a right to know about this accusation? How is he supposed to defend himself?”

“No. If you tell him, it will jeopardize this and any future investigation. Go ahead and send the text. You have thirty seconds.” She brought her watch into view with dramatic flair.

My fingers raced across the phone. He deserved more than a one-line text, even if I couldn’t tell him the truth.

Me:
Meet me where it all began. 7:30 tonight.

His reply came fifteen seconds later.

Sawyer:
I’ll be there.

I deleted both messages. “Done. Now get out of my house.”

Sawyer

I’d been hard since I received Madison’s text asking me to meet her at our hotel. Even though I walked into the bar expecting to see the seductress I’d met last year, I didn’t miss the weary young woman clad in jeans and a t-shirt.

She sat on the same stool she’d occupied all those months ago. She looked up when I took a seat next to her.

“Rough day?” I asked, repeating the very first words I ever said to her.

“You could say that,” she replied, just as she had once before. “Nice shirt. I’m surprised you remembered.”

“I remember every detail about that night.” I was pleased that she also remembered what I’d worn.

“You’d better be careful. Some might consider that romantic.”

“That doesn’t matter because we know where we stand. What are you drinking?”

“Water. Peyton really missed you last night,” she said quietly.

“I missed her, too—a lot, which is weird since I spent all day with her at school. I guess I’ve gotten used to being with you guys.” I signaled for the bartender and ordered a beer for myself. “Did you miss me?”

“Yes, although Ethan was much better behaved without you around.” Her rounded shoulders and quiet tone were disconcerting.

I leaned in and guided my lips to hers. “I missed you, too,” I murmured against her soft mouth. “It was nearly impossible to stay away yesterday,” I whispered between gentle kisses. “Text Ethan and tell him to stay home this weekend.”

She pulled away suddenly at the mention of her ex’s name. “We need to talk.”

“Not now.” I deepened the kiss, not relenting until she responded in kind. “I stopped at the front desk on my way in and got our room.” I slipped the keycard from my back pocket and held it out for her to take.

“We can’t do this. I need to tell you something.”

“Later. Please.” I knew what was coming; I could see the guilt in her eyes. I didn’t want to hear the words from her lips. I needed to convince her that her body belonged to me until I decided I was done with it.

I threw some money on the bar and took her hand. “Come on, let’s go have some fun. We can talk after.”

Unlike last time, she kept her distance in the elevator. “I still have the panties you gave me that night,” I said to break the tension.

“I don’t know what to think about that,” she said with a small smile of satisfaction.

“I think you like it. I think you like it a lot, in fact.”

“Where do you keep them?”

“I have them hanging on my bedpost. Even though I was angry, those panties provided many nights of inspiration, if you know what I mean.”

“They didn’t scare off your lady friends?”

“I’ve never had a woman in my room, doubt I ever will. Too personal.”

“Good to know,” she muttered.

We rode in silence the rest of the way up. I took her warm hand in mine as we made our way down the hall to the room.

I reached behind my neck and pulled my shirt over my head as soon as I crossed the threshold. I turned to her and ran my hands up her still-clothed body and stopped when I reached her breasts. I cradled their heavy weight in my hands and ran my thumbs over the tips.

She sucked in a quick breath. “You probably won’t want to do this after I tell you what I need to say.” She bit her lip and stared at my chest. She was teetering on the edge of doing what she thought was right and doing me.

“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t tell me right now.” I slowly inched the hem of the bright blue shirt up her torso.

“You’re going to regret this,” she breathed.

Future Sawyer could deal with the regret. I had convinced her to give in to desire, and right now there was only one thing I needed to know. “Did you use a condom the last time you fucked him?” I couldn’t say his name out loud. I didn’t want a barrier between us, but I would if the alternative was swapping fluids with Ethan.

The question in her eyes confirmed my worst fear. “Yes,” she said on a long exhale.

I laid a trail of small kisses along the curve of her neck. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. The medicine kicked in so my ribs and shoulder don’t hurt anymore.”

“That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” I took her hands and pulled her over to the bed. “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered once she was pressed up against me. I kept a firm grasp on her tiny waist with one hand. I got lost in the depths of her bottomless eyes and ran my fingers through her long, silky hair. “I could look at you for days without blinking.”

She softened into my chest. “I bet you say that to all the girls.” There was something completely off with her statement. The words themselves could be taken as flirty banter, but the way she said them came out differently, almost as if she was stating a fact that saddened her.

“First time ever,” I assured.

“Good,” she said with a new wave of impatience as she reached for my fly. She pulled my belt from the loops and threw it across the room.

“I wish we could spend a whole weekend in bed together. I would lick every inch of your gorgeous body while you talk dirty to me in Spanish. Then we could fuck in every position imaginable.” I lowered my head and kissed her with the intense need I felt for her, savoring the feeling of her full lips moving with mine.

I finished undressing both of us and slowly slid inside her. Her body molded to mine as I gently rocked my hips. I focused on the softness of her curves beneath me and the intense pleasure I felt every time I was inside of her. I pushed away all thoughts of what she had done with Ethan less than twenty-four hours earlier.

“Open your eyes,” I whispered softly in her ear. This time, it wasn’t about making sure she knew who was inside her. I needed her to see what she did to me, how she made me feel. I needed her to forget about Ethan.

*

“I need to know how you feel about me,” she said while staring at the ceiling after our simultaneous mind-blowing orgasms.

“What do you want me to say? We’ve only been messing around for a week. I made my intentions clear from the beginning.” It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but I had promised I wouldn’t lead her on.

“I want the truth, no matter what it is.”

“I like spending time with you, and I like spending time inside of you.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.” That was all I could give her. She rolled onto her side to face away from me. “I’ve already given you more than I ever thought I could. What more do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you. I can’t see you anymore.”

“Why did you ask how I felt about you if you were planning to dump me?” What kind of game was she playing?

“I just wanted to see if I needed to let you down gently.” Something was off.

“You fucked Ethan last night, didn’t you?” No reason to beat around the bush.

“What? No!” Relief coursed through my veins. She pushed herself up on her good arm. “I can’t believe you think I would sleep with two guys at the same time.” Her face fell, and her eyes drifted away from mine. “I guess that shows how little we really know each other.”

“If this isn’t about Ethan, then what
is
it about?”

“I’m just done. We’ve had some fun, and now it’s time to move on.”

“Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me?” I wouldn’t accept her decision until I heard the complete truth. “There’s something else going on in that pretty little head of yours.”

“It’s too hard,” she said on a stuttered breath.

“It doesn’t have to be. What’s so difficult about casual fucking?” It was incredibly simple in my mind. “I—” She leaned over and placed a finger to my lips to shut me up. Just like old times.

“You’re going to break my heart. I don’t know how or when, but I can’t get over the feeling that it’s inevitable.” I wished she wasn’t right. “How can I go into something knowing it’s destined to fail? How am I supposed to keep my sanity never knowing if today is the day you decide to move on to your next conquest?”

“Please give our arrangement a chance. I realize you want things that I can’t give you. I won’t promise you children or marriage or forever.” Just saying the words out loud was hard enough. “What I can promise is that I’ll do everything in my power to make you and Peyton happy while we’re together. Why can’t we just have fun for a while? What happened to the girl I met in this hotel last year?”

“She doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe she never did.”

“If we go into it knowing we’re just friends who like to fuck each other and will eventually part ways, then it won’t be a failure. We don’t have to get messy emotions involved,” I reasoned. “There has to be a way to make this work.” I just needed a little more time to come up with a plan to convince her. “Didn’t you say you didn’t have time for a relationship anyway?”

“Why is this so important to you? You could get laid any time you want. What difference does it make if you’re fucking me or someone else?”

“I like fucking you. You’re beautiful and sexy. It’ll be difficult to find someone else who can make me come as hard as you do.” My blunt response sent her walls flying up. That was definitely the wrong thing to say, but I couldn’t let my guard down any more than I already had.

“I’m sure you can make do with average lays until you find a suitable replacement.” She turned her back toward me.

“I’d rather be with you. I like you.” I knew I was sending her mixed messages. I was teetering on a fine line and kept stepping off in either direction to catch my balance. Gently laying a hand on her upper arm, I guided her to her back. It was true; I did like her. Maybe if love wasn’t a complete hoax, I could eventually grow to feel that way about her.

“There’s no point in being with someone if there’s no possibility of a future.” Thomas’s prophecy was coming true. She was trying to manipulate me into giving her something I didn’t want to offer.

“So, basically you’re saying in order to keep fucking you, I have to marry you?” I kept my tone even with the hope she would hear how ridiculous it sounded. “You would want to marry someone who doesn’t love you?” I couldn’t love her because love didn’t exist. She recoiled from my accusation as if I’d shot her through the heart.

“This conversation is going nowhere.” She climbed from the bed and began to pick up her clothes. “I’m not going to change my mind.”