New Love (Angels Warriors MC Trilogy Book 0) (6 page)

As soon as I get home, I get a phone call from Lilly, which I ignore.  It rings again and again, one right after another. Finally, I just shut the phone down. I warm up a bottle for Hunter and hand it over to him after I change his diaper.  Just as I’m putting him down to bed, a loud banging comes at my door.

“Fuck,” I mutter.

I stomp to the front door and open it. Zippo.

He shakes his head at me and storms past me into the house.

I follow him into my living room and stop once he’s standing in the middle of it, arms crossed, glaring at me. He takes off that fuckin’ stupid ass beanie hat and throws it at me. I jump out of the way before it comes near me, because fuck knows if the thing is even clean.

“Took your girl home for you! Real smooth, just bailing on her like that.” He shakes his head.

I remain silent; it was a dick thing to do. Nothing to be done for it now. Moira will see what a real asshole I am and run the other way, if she is smart. Of course, she is smart. She is a nurse.

“I know where your fuckin’ head is at, and I’m still shocked as hell that you are acting this way,” he starts. “Eden fucked everyone, man, but guess what? We all got over it, except you. At first, yeah, Mason,” he says, stressing out my real name. Fuck, that’s the first time he’s called me Mason in years. “I was pissed too. But when Hilary was in that hospital, you didn’t see Eden. I thought for sure she was going to lose it completely. She blamed herself at first. Then she blamed Henry. She’s talked with all of us, even a therapist she now see’s, except you, about the shit she was feeling, so finally, she no longer is feeling that guilt anymore. However, because you think you are king of the fuckin’ world, Eden is back to feeling that guilt.”

“You didn’t lose your wife. I did!” I shout at him.

“We all lost Hilary! Not just you! You treated her like shit your entire marriage!” he yells at me.

“Don’t! Don’t you fuckin’ dare bring that shit up. It was years ago.” I point at him.

His brows shoot up. “Really? How about the fact that you knew where she was the entire fucking time? Huh? Why did you never see those kids? They’d be kind of hard to miss. Or how about the fact you didn’t even try to get her back once you cleaned up?”

I clench my jaw and don’t say anything.

“She wanted that divorce. She might have still been in love with you, but I’ve also talked to Lilly after she would talk to Hilary. You guys were over, whether you want to admit it or not. Your marriage, your life together, ran its course. Even before marriage, you two were just, I don’t know, not right. You basically married your booty call.”

“Don’t you dare! You know I loved Hilary,” I sneer at him.

“Yeah, I fuckin’ do, man, but a man who loves a woman does not beat her, does not cheat on her, and does not leave her alone for nine god damned years.”

“You don’t have room to talk, asshole. You fucked Kayla for years, even got that bitch pregnant without Lilly even having a damn clue.” I can give it back just as hard—the truth.

“Yeah, but I never cheated out right, never fucking beat Lilly, so it’s different. I also know that on every fucking run you did with Vic, you had women. Even before you got caught by Hilary, before you thought she was cheating, you were already doing all of that. For years. It’s why you started accusing Hilary of cheating, because you were feeling guilty yourself.”

“It was a blow job. I took that so he wouldn’t shoot my dick off like he did to Pete.”

“Bullshit, but whatever. Fuck you! You don’t grow the fuck up, you don’t get your head on straight, you’ll fuck up Hunter just the same way you are right now. You want that? You want your kid to treat women the way you do? You want him to grow up with all this bullshit hate you are spreading around?”

I stare at my boots.

“Go to Moira. That woman is crazy about you. As much as I hated it was her at first, she seems like a cool woman. She could help settle you. But whatever. That’s all I have to say.” He walks to his beanie and picks it up. “Keep this shit up, Mason, you’ll lose more than Hilary. You’ll lose everything.”

He walks out and shuts the door behind him.

I grab a beer out of the fridge when he leaves, and just as I’m about to crack it open, my front door swings open, and an angry Mrs. Shepard storms in and comes directly to me.

“You piece of shit!” she shouts. “Get up off the god damned couch right now, boy.”

I slowly get up, setting my beer down. “You get to your stupid ass bike or the Jeep, and go to that poor girl. Now! Make that shit right. Hilary’s gone. Get the fuck over it, and I mean it, Mason. Get over it! Love her and cherish Hilary always, but she’s gone. Nothing will bring her back, so man the fuck up and go. Now!”

I slowly walk to the door because she’s right. She and Zippo are both right. Shit. I’m an asshole.

I finish getting myself a bedtime snack when a knock comes at my door. I put my bowl of cereal down and open the door.

Mason stands there, looking determined.

“Mason. What are you doing here?”

“Get a bag packed. You’re coming home with me. I want to talk, and right now, Old Lady Shepard is watching my kid, and she’s nuts, so I want to get back there ASAP.”

I feel confused. He is so hot and cold, but I can tell this is hard for him and he is trying.

“Okay,” I say with a tense smile. I am nervous. Earlier, he yelled at me for getting around his son, but now he is inviting me over and he wants me to get a bag? Talk about whiplash.

On the drive to his house, he apologizes, and I think he is being sincere. “Look, I’m a dick. You need to learn that now, because I am a hardass. I snapped at you, and I shouldn’t have. It’s just seeing Eden… them being happy. It cuts deep. She took a lot from me. I like you. I want you, but I don’t know if I can handle it yet. But I am trying.”

“Mason,” I say, squeezing his knee. “I understand. This is hard for me, too. I know you must have a hard time seeing any other woman hold your son. I understand, but I would never hurt him.”

He nods and relaxes. “Come here.” He orders me to scoot closer to him and I do.

When we get to his place, Mrs. Shepard is kicked back in Mason’s recliner, watching a dirty movie. My face goes beet red.

“Found something to help get you two in the mood. Just need to screw and get it over with. The rest will fall into place.” She gets up slowly. Mason goes over to offer her a hand, and she smacks him with her purse. “Don’t be getting no ideas, boy. My ride is here.” A horn blows, and she waves us off as she goes out the door.

The woman on the TV moans seductively. The man she is with has his face buried between her thighs. I look at Mason, wondering if he is going to shut it off, but he doesn’t. He is looking at me with hungry eyes. I lick my lips, and then he is on me. I drop my bag as his mouth claims mine. Strong hands grab my hips, lifting me. My arms snake around his thick neck as my legs wrap around his waist. I can feel his pulse hammering, and so is his cock as it pulses under his jeans. Holy shit! Mason is delicious.

I don’t fight it, but just let it happen. It has been so long since a man has paid such attention to me. My head bangs against the wall as he kisses me hot, hard, and achingly wanting. His hands go for my shirt, sending it flying over our heads to land somewhere in his living room. He paws at my bra straps, ravishing my chest with his fevered tongue.

“Fuck, you taste good.”

“Yeah,” I say, feeling high. We make it to his room. I am on the bed, still connected to him. His large hands tear my jeans open, popping the button off, but I don’t even care. I need him inside me.

“Off,” he orders with one word, jerking my panties down with my denim.

“Please,” I whisper. His hands smooth over my thighs, spreading my legs for him.

He places a single kiss on my clit before ravaging my pussy with his eager fingers. My hips buck, needing him deeper. Oh, my damn, Mason knows what to do with his tongue. My pussy is pulsing. I feel on fire.

“Don’t you come yet,” he barks, pinching my nipple hard. I whimper at the loss of his fingers, but I am rewarded soon when he rolls to his back, bringing me with him. “Wanna feel you lose control,” he grits out, helping me line up with his cock.

I sink down on him and think I might die. He feels so good. Oh, my damn, I didn’t know his cock was pierced—I’ve never felt that before. The sensation as the metal hits my walls is indescribable.  I bite my lip as he pulls my hair.

“You like that?”

“Hmmm,” is all I manage to let out in a purr.

He grips my hips, and I ride him hard. Mason fondles my clit in a circular motion. The stimulation of everything he is doing coupled with his pierced cock is orgasmic.

I feel him tensing up, about to release inside me. God, he feels amazing... Until he lets out a low moan and whispers, “Hilary.”

I freeze. The room turns chilly, causing me to shiver. My body tenses, my orgasm lost. He feels my body locking, and rolls us, coming over me and pushing up to look at me.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

I hesitate. Does he really not know what he just did? “I need to go.”

He stills, face blanking. “Why?”

I shake my head and try pushing him up. “Think about it, Mason. What did you just say?” I stress out the word, and the second I finish the sentence, he freezes, pain etching all over his face.

“Fuck, Moira, I’m sorry.”

I push on his chest again, and he rolls over, letting me up.

I quickly get up out of the bed. Once dressed, I turn and face him. “This is too soon. We shouldn’t have just done that. When I make love to a man, I want him to be thinking of only me. I get Hilary was your wife, that she is now gone, and that sort of thing will never go away. But, when I’m naked, and a man’s cock is inside me, I want my name called out, not another woman’s. I don’t care who the other woman is.”

He says nothing. I honestly don’t even know if he heard me or if he just doesn’t care, because he doesn’t respond. I call Shawn to pick me up, and leave. I am so embarrassed. I don’t want to tell her what happened.

I end up spilling it all to her on the drive to my place, and we talk it out. I try to see it from his side, but it still hurts. I thought we were finally getting somewhere.  Two steps forward ten steps back.

“Call me if you need anything. And, Moira, don’t give up.”

“Easier said than done.” How do I compete with a ghost?

A knock at my door stops me from getting Hunter’s bottle out of the microwave. I open it and come face to face with Eden. “Get off my property.” I go to shut the door, but she sticks her foot in the way, causing her to cry out in pain. “Are you fuckin’ stupid? Why would you do that?”

“Because I just want to fucking talk to you!” she screams at me, tears running down her face.

“Fine, come in. When you’re done, leave,” I say walking away from the door. I hear her shut it and quickly follow me.

I grab the bottle and go to Hunter, who is in his little car seat in the living room. I pass him the bottle, and he holds it, feeding himself.

“He can do that now?” Eden asks.

“Yeah, started a few days ago.”

“That’s so cool,” she says, smiling at him. She bends down to kiss his cheek.

“Don’t touch him!”

“Mason...” she pleads.

“Say what you need to say, and get gone,” I tell her, crossing my arms. Hunter drops his bottle. She gets it for him, and I keep my mouth shut.

“You won’t ever know how sorry I am, Mason. I need you to forgive me! Please. You are my best friend. We’ve always been close.” I cut her off.

“Right, best friends? If that’s true, you would have come to me, not Hilary or Lilly.”

“You would have run straight to Jasper if I did that. I Love you, Mason, and I’m sorry I did this to you,” she says, tears running down her face.

I want to reach out, hug her, something, but I can’t. The asshole in me can’t.  I can’t comfort her.

“What’s going on with you and the nurse?” she asks me. This question came out of nowhere.

“What’s it to you?” I’m acting like a dick again.

“It’s only been a few months. Don’t you think it’s too soon?”

“Really? You want me to stay miserable forever?”

“No, I want you to be happy, but think of Hilary, Mason. It’s too soon.”

“You don’t have the right to say shit to me about this. I have been a dick to Moira, but I plan to make up for it. She’s good for me. From what I have seen recently, she is good with my son, too,” I tell her.

“I know. She seems great. I’m just worried about you and how this will affect you.”

“You need to butt out,” I tell her.

Eden looks down at her lap then back up to me. “I hope you can forgive me one day, Mason. I do. I miss our friendship, and I know this is killing Jasper.”

I clench my jaw, not responding. She takes the hint and walks out of the house, but not before turning back to me, placing her hand on my arm, and reaching up to kiss me on the cheek.

Fuck, that gutted me. I miss Eden. I have missed her for years. I don’t know how to get over this.

***

I spot Moira leaving the hospital after her shift. I want to go to her, but I hold back. Last night shouldn’t have happened. We’ve gone out a few times, hung out a bit, just taking things slow. Last night, though, I gave in and finally had her under me, on top of me, against the wall… fuck.

And then I went and moaned out Hilary’s name as I came inside Moira. Hurt, betrayal, all of it crossed over Moira’s face. She left the second she got her clothes on, ignored my calls and me calling after her when she ran out my front door. My conversation with Eden has me feeling all kinds of fucked in the head.

It hasn’t even been a year since Hilary died. It’s too early to move on. Fuck, I don’t even know if I want to move on. I thought I did…

I’ve betrayed Hilary before, and if I move on, wouldn’t that mean I’m betraying her again?

My phone rings, making me look away from Moira. Grabbing it, I see Angel’s number. I don’t want to answer. I haven’t talked to him since the day I quit the shop, but I answer anyway.

“What?”

“Man, shit man, Mrs. Shepard passed away,” he says gruffly into the phone.

That old bat was nuts, but she was an amazing woman. She was a big part of my growing up—part of my sounding board when Hilary first passed away. Hell, when I talked to her last week about Moira, she told me it wasn’t too soon to move on and that the heart wants what it wants. She also told me if I didn’t get my head out of my ass about Eden, she’d remove it for me.

She’s gone. Shit. “How’d she go?” I ask.

“Peacefully. Eden went over to check on her this morning. Found her in bed, a smile on her face. Gone.” Angel starts choking up.

***

I arrive at the funeral home five minutes late; the place is packed. I spot the guys with Eden at the front, consoling her. I can’t believe Mrs. Shepard is gone. Fuck, I was just talking to her last night. She was fine.

Something tugs at me, and before I even realize what I’m doing, I walk up to Eden, pull her out of Angel’s arms, and hug her. Her arms wrap around me instantly, her face in my chest. I can feel her tears soaking through my shirt.  Since I can tell it’s about to start, I unwrap Eden’s arms from around me and pull her into my side, walking to find a seat.

Through the whole service, she’s snuggled up close to me, and I even see a slight grin on both Zippo and Angel’s faces.  The service is somewhat lively, something she would have wanted.  Everyone is sharing stories about the crazy woman. She touched all our lives in a way. She was a pain, but damn I will miss her. We all will.

We walk out of the service and head to the cemetery. Once they begin lowering her casket into the ground, Eden, Angel, Zippo, and Lilly all come close to me. I step away slightly from Eden, and I see the hurt written all over her face. I can’t stop fuckin’ up... God.

“Mrs. Shepard had a Will done up. Some lawyer wants us all at her place tomorrow,” Angel says.

I nod. “I’ll be there.” This is too much. I gotta get out of here. I walk away and am just about to my bike, when I hear Eden calling my name.

I stop and turn around slowly.

“Are you okay?” she asks me quietly.

“Yeah,” I reply gruffly.

“Are we going to be okay?”

I stare at her and look away for a moment, remembering all the shit Mrs. Shepard put into my head—the talks she had with me about Eden. Then I look back to her. “One day at a time, Eden, but we’ll get there.”

Hope flares in her eyes, and she rushes me, hugging me tight. “That’s all I can ask for, Mason. Love you,” she says.

“Yeah. Same, Edie,” I tell her.

“We are all going over to the bakery for coffee. You want to meet us there?” she asks, appearing hopeful.

I start to say no, but the look on her face... “Yeah, just for a few minutes. Need to get back to Hunter.”

*~*

The next day is gloomy. We all get to Mrs. Shepard’s house around ten in the morning, and the second letters are passed out, we all take off in different directions, all of us wanting to be alone. Mona has Hunter, so I don’t need to worry about him.

Getting home, I sit on the couch, the letter clenched in my hand, and finally open it.

Mason,

My boy, you are one stubborn son of a bitch. I understand why you feel the way you do about Eden, but don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh? Should she have made the girls promise not to tell you guys anything? No. However, it was also Hilary and Lilly’s choice not to say anything. They are all at fault with this, but you are just taking your anger out on one person.

The person you should be mad at is yourself, for how you treated Hilary during your marriage. You need to live, Mason. Live for that little boy Hilary was able to give you. Live for yourself, and live for Moira. I know you love her. Don’t let her slip through your fingers just because you are hanging on to a ghost.

Now, listen to me. I sound like Lilly, all serious and level-headed and shit.

I might never have said this out loud to you, but I love you, boy. You’re a good kid that just went down a bad road.

I’ll say hi to Hilary for you, and if you don’t move on from this mess, I’ll haunt you my damned self.

Have a beer for me,

Eleanor Shepard

I crumple up the letter and hang my head down. She’s right. Fuck, I hate that she was always right. Wait, I open the letter back up and look at the name. Her name was Eleanor? I didn’t know that.

Going to my fridge, I get out a beer and open it. “You were crazy, Eleanor, but you were always right. This is for you.” I down it quickly and find myself wondering how she knew it was her time. By the sound of her letter, she was ready.