New World, New Love (28 page)

‘I refuse to believe that there isn’t some solution!’

Harry regarded him sympathetically. ‘I wish I didn’t have to say this to you, Daniel, but I can see no way out for either of you.’

‘Oh, my God!’ Daniel buried his face in his hands. Harry poured him another cognac.

When Daniel arrived home Louise was in bed, but still awake with the candles lit. She knew the verdict without his having to say a word and slid from the bed to run into his arms. He held her tight, feeling the warmth of her body through the thin silk of her nightgown, and pressed his lips against her hair. Afterwards he ravished her with a passion born of love and despair.

In the morning, both deeply moved by their night of intense loving, they talked over the impasse that faced them. Louise dismissed all his frantic suggestions as to how they might delay the inevitable.

‘It’s pointless,’ she said sadly. ‘Harry gave you his best advice and we have to accept it. To try anything else would only result in the most dreadful scandal, which would harm the three people dearest to me in this city other than you, cheri. We married to avoid a similar scandal arising, and again I have to avoid hurting them.’

‘But I can’t let you go.’ His voice was choked by anguish.

She took his tormented face between her hands. ‘Nothing can prevent it. One thing I can promise you. I’ll never let Fernand touch me. Nothing shall be as before. My time here in the States has given me the chance to realize my own strength and power. It also gave me you and a love that I’ll cherish all my life.’

To her intense sorrow he broke down and wept. She cradled his head to her and wondered why she did not die from the pain of having to leave him.

T
he time for parting drew near. Louise felt as if she had passed the last hours of her liberty in a strange trance, carrying out every necessary task like a wound-up automaton. Daniel was to sell the shop on her behalf and if the purchaser continued in millinery he was to try to ensure that her present staff were kept on. She arranged financial matters with her bankers, settled all bills from her suppliers and also paid her seamstress for the three new gowns, still unfinished, which would be shipped to France when ready. Daniel had already secured a separate cabin for her on the ship.

Last of all Louise had to break the news of her departure to her sister and cousins. She let them know in advance that she would be making a special visit on Sunday afternoon on a matter of importance. When the time came she went to their home on her own, even though Daniel had wanted to accompany her, for she had a private request to make that she intended to keep from him for his own sake.

Theodore met her in the hall. ‘Is it bad news?’ he asked sympathetically.

She nodded, supposing that he assumed it would be of Violette’s demise or some such distressing news. He took her gently by the elbow as they went together into the drawing room, where his wife and Delphine were waiting.

‘Something totally unexpected and very serious has happened,’ Louise began when she had seated herself. ‘The whole course of my life has been changed yet again.’ She paused, almost unnerved by the attentive silence in which they were listening to her. ‘Fernand is here in Boston. He escaped the guillotine and has come back into my life.’

Madeleine gasped, but Delphine gave a little moan. ‘Oh, no!’

Somehow Louise kept her voice steady. ‘As I am still his wife, I’m compelled to return to France with him. Daniel has had the best legal advice, but there’s nothing to be done that could counteract Fernand’s demand.’ She explained all that had happened while her listeners sat grave-faced. ‘So I’ve come to tell you that I’m sailing back to France tomorrow morning.’

Both Madeleine and Delphine uttered cries of dismay, but Theodore took a practical viewpoint. ‘Have all possible outlets been explored?’ he questioned sharply.

Louise gave a weary nod. ‘Harry Tyler has had endless consultations with his partners, but none has been able to offer a solution. There are no loopholes.’

At that point Delphine burst into a torrent of tears, throwing herself upon Louise and creating an hysterical scene that made everything worse for them all. ‘You can’t go! I’ll never see you again!’

Madeleine spoke huskily. ‘I can hardly believe that this is happening.’

‘Listen to me, Delphine,’ Louise said quietly, brushing her sister’s curls back from the tear-wet face. ‘One day when you are married your husband can bring you to visit me.’

‘It would mean crossing that horrible ocean,’ Delphine answered wildly, ‘but I’d do it to see you again!’

‘Then that is what I’ll hope for in the future.’ Louise hugged her comfortingly and disengaged herself from her sister’s clinging arms before speaking again. ‘I don’t want the reason for my departure ever to be known by others. Daniel will never say a word and I implore you as my family to keep my secret. Otherwise there’ll be the very scandal I want to avoid at all costs.’

Theodore spoke solemnly, his voice full of compassion for her. ‘Your consideration for us is most thoughtful, but we would sustain any amount of scandal-mongering if it meant a solution.’

Delphine, alarmed by Theodore’s words and only too aware of how such a scandal would harm her good name, was quick to make her promise to keep silent. ‘I’d die before I ever spoke of it!’

‘There will be plenty of gossip about why I have suddenly returned to France,’ Louise continued. ‘But since Daniel and I appeared not to live together for two years, it will be thought that we must have had some temporary arrangement. There will be plenty of women glad to know that he is a free man again.’

‘My dear, he has eyes only for you!’ Madeleine exclaimed in distress.

‘I know, but with time he must pick up the threads of his life without me and find happiness again. That’s why I’ve told him there must be no correspondence between us.’

‘No, no!’ Madeleine pressed her fingertips against her trembling mouth. ‘The poor man! That’s too cruel!’

Louise almost broke down and her voice faltered. ‘It has to be like that for his sake, otherwise he’ll always be looking over his shoulder at the past instead of ahead to the future.’ It was for that same reason she had refused to let him arrange financial security for her from his own income for the rest of her life. ‘Ties have to be severed. You may inform him of my well-being whenever he should ask you, but that is all. Yet for myself, I beg you to tell me everything about him in your letters. It will be my only comfort in the years ahead.’

‘Even if he should marry again?’ Madeleine ventured uncertainly.

Louise gave a nod. ‘Then he will have the son that I’ve not had time to give him.’

At her words Madeleine began to weep so profusely that Theodore promptly took charge of the situation. ‘This is no way to say adieu to Louise,’ he said sternly. ‘Dry your tears, Madeleine. As for you, Delphine, let’s wish your courageous sister well.’

Delphine, curled up on the sofa, had been sobbing into a cushion like a child trying to shut out reality, but at his strict tone she looked up, red-eyed. ‘I do! With all my heart!’

Theodore stepped forward and embraced Louise, who stood ready to leave, and spoke to her quietly. ‘Let me know if ever I can assist you in any way. I’m well acquainted with our American ambassador in Paris. I shall give you a letter to present to him in the case of any emergency. It may be that you’ll find yourself in need of an influential friend at some time.’

‘Thank you.’ She leaned her forehead briefly against his chest while she gathered strength to say farewell to her sister and Madeleine. Fearful of breaking down, she did not stay any longer than was necessary. Theodore had to restrain Delphine from running after her when she left the house and hurried away with her head bowed.

That evening Louise received Theodore’s promised letter, which he delivered in person, wanting to have a few words about the finality of the situation with Daniel before her departure. She put it ready to take with her passport and other travelling papers.

Next morning Fernand arrived in a hackney carriage at the appointed time. He did not alight to enter the house, but continued to sit without a glance towards it while Louise’s trunks and boxes were being loaded on to the roof. In the drawing room she and Daniel stood together in each other’s arms, his face tortured as he pressed her to him. The final moment came and they exchanged a last long kiss.

‘I’ll love you always,’ he said brokenly.

‘As I’ll love you,’ she whispered.

She had begged him earlier to let her go from his arms without delay when the time came, knowing it could only prolong their torment, and he did as she wished.

As Louise went out into the chill January air asparkle with frost, she held her head high. Josette, who was going with her, having always been homesick, stood waiting by the open door of the carriage. Louise entered it, taking her place beside Fernand, who did not speak, and Josette took the seat opposite her.

From the steps of the house Daniel stood taking in this last sight of the woman he had loved since first seeing her. He had a final glimpse of her pale face turned tragically to him through the glass before the carriage drew away.

On board the ship, Fernand went ahead to the cabins, leaving Josette to supervise the luggage. He thought Louise was following him and did not see her being shown in another direction. When Louise entered her cabin she saw at once that Daniel had obtained the best accommodation on the ship for her. It was in the stern and, through the windows, reflected light from the sun-dappled water danced over the cabin. There were two sizeable bunks set opposite each other against the wooden panelling of the bulkheads and, in between, a table and two chairs that could be fastened down in rough weather. There were also wide leather straps to prevent her trunks from sliding around and a cupboard with a lid that opened to revealed a washbasin and a soap dish. Below this was what appeared to be a drawer, but the handle pulled out a necessary closestool. A candle-lantern, hanging from one of the low beams, would give meagre light at night, but Louise thought to herself that no admiral could have had better facilities.

She had removed her hat and gloves when Fernand suddenly appeared in the doorway. ‘What nonsense is this, Louise?’ he demanded angrily. ‘I have taken a cabin for the two of us.’

She regarded him coolly. ‘I’m sharing this one with Josette.’

‘But there’s a place for her with the other servants in the hold. She can sleep there.’

‘She is staying here.’

‘You’ll do as I tell you!’

‘No, Fernand,’ she stated implacably. ‘Never again. Those days are over. You must understand that I have no intention of ever being a wife to you again.’

‘I suppose you’re setting out with some misguided idea of remaining faithful to your American lover,’ he replied scathingly. ‘But he’ll soon forget you. He’ll fade from your memory too, when you’re back in a civilized country again.’

She ignored his jibe, determined never to be drawn into any discussion with him about Daniel. ‘Please go now.’

He stepped forward swiftly and seized her by the wrist, jerking her to him. ‘I won’t tolerate your getting high-handed with me!’

She gave him a blazing look. ‘I’ve been informed that the captain has no compunction about locking passengers in their cabins if they disrupt the peace of his ship on what is always a dangerous voyage. I wouldn’t hesitate to make a complaint if you should attempt to molest me.’

Taken aback by her attitude, he released his grip on her. ‘I can see you’ve been badly influenced by American ways, but as soon as we’re on French soil, I shall be fully in charge. You’ll obey me for the rest of your life!’ His angry face was thrust forward, his warm, wine-tainted breath fanning her face. ‘I’ll set you to scrubbing floors and washing pans if I’ve a mind to it!’

A wry smile skimmed her lips. ‘I’ve had plenty of experience in doing such chores after you disappeared from my life. It’s likely the need will arise again if we find the château in a poor state. Your threats don’t alarm me. I’m no longer the young girl whom you married for gain.’

Outside the half-open door Josette, who had arrived at the head of the seamen shouldering the trunks and boxes, knocked and spoke. ‘
Pardon
, madame, the luggage is here.’

Fernand, unable to continue his verbal abuse in the hearing of others, left with his temper unabated and thrust past Josette with such force that she fell against the wall. She glared after him. It was aristos like him who had brought about the Revolution in the first place and cost the lives of all her family. Already she hated him.

When the ship set sail Louise stayed seated at the table in her cabin. Everybody else was on deck. She could have stood at the window for a last glimpse of the city she had come to know so well, but she wanted to link her thoughts solely with Daniel during these final moments of departure. Although she fought against giving way to despair, her desperate sorrow overcame her. As her arms slid forward on the table, she lowered her head on to them, and sobbed desolately.

Unbeknown to her, Daniel stood on the quay watching the ship leave. She had not wanted him or her cousins and sister to be there, but he had been unable to stay away. He stayed until the vessel was out of sight. No miracle had happened. Fernand had not relented. She was gone from his life, leaving it stretching emptily before him.

The voyage proved to be even rougher than Louise’s previous crossing. Although neither she nor Josette was seasick, it was often too dangerous to venture on deck and a great deal of time was spent in the cabin. Whenever the tumultuous waves prevented any cooking in the galley, they ate dried fruits and other long-lasting food that they had brought with them. Often they were compelled to lie on their bunks for hours at a time to save being tossed off their feet.

The nights were the worst for Louise. Frequently she dreamed that she was back in Boston and whenever Daniel featured in her dreams he was always out of her reach. Sometimes she was searching for him through empty rooms in an unfamiliar house or else she could see him strolling far ahead of her. Although she called to him, he was always out of earshot and however fast she ran it was beyond her power to catch up with him. Then she would awake to the awful realization that she was truly far from him and not in the bed they had shared, with his arm around her.