Next to Forever (Never Letting Go) (3 page)

Finishing up in the kitchen, I start cleaning up the remainder of the raw chicken juices. As the smell travels and swirls around me, my stomach starts making weird noises.
Quickly, I wash my hands and run to the bathroom. I start gagging but nothing comes up. “What the hell?” My voice is low, and I try to figure out what’s going on with me. Turning on the water to cool, I splash some on my face and try to even my breathing. I hate feeling so shitty and sick.

Connor

I bury myself in work so the pain of missing Erin doesn’t take over. I’ve been in the office since six AM and now it’s nearly seven in the evening. I rub my eyes and take out my phone. When I unlock my phone, the picture of Erin smiling stares back at me. I’ve been gone for almost three weeks
, and there’s no word about when I’ll be back home. There’s a knock on my door, knocking me out of my trance.

“Yes?”

My assistant, Aly, comes in. “Connor,” she says. “Go home.”

I check the presentation notes again, finalize the email and send it off to Adam and Joseph. Shutting off my computer and gathering my things, I look up and see that she’s standing and waiting for me.

Aly’s been with me for the past few weeks. She’s in her mid thirties, and is a single mother of a young daughter. Her husband left when she was pregnant. Aly’s a great worker, and she keeps me on guard and makes sure that I’m okay. She keeps me on my toes, and I’m not sure what I’d do without her.

“Joseph should be here soon,” I state, smirking and remembering catching them at Picco having dinner.

She blushes and turns away. “Come on, Connor,” she quietly says.

“Alright, I’m coming.” We head out together and make small talk. She lets me know her daughter, Nicole, is staying with her sister and is doing great.
As I listen to her talk about Nicole, I can’t help but think about starting a family with Erin. Adam thinks I’m crazy since we’ve only been together for six months, but when I look at Erin, I see my future. She’s it for me. From the moment I set my eyes on her beautiful face and heard her amazing laugh, I knew she was the one. People say that when you meet your soul mate, you just know and there’s nothing else that matters.

Aly and I grab a taxi back to the hotel
, and when we both arrive, Joseph is in the lobby.

“
Awww, Joseph, thanks for checking up on me but I promise I’m okay.” I laugh, not realizing how red both their faces are.

“Connor, I... Um... Well, you see...”

Aly is standing between us, stunned and quiet. “Have a great night, you two.” I slap Joseph on the back and head to my hotel room.

After a long day of meetings, all I want to do is get a few drinks and turn off my brain. The countless meetings aren’t doing anything for Optimax. The representatives aren’t satisfied with the programs
, and it’s going to suck telling Adam and Joseph the news. I grab my phone and call Adam. The phone rings twice before he answers.

“You’re going to hate this,” I start to say, sitting at the desk with my pile of papers and laptop. “They’re not interested in putting the speaking program in their district
, and they don’t want any of us coming down to train their staff.”

“What the fuck? Why not?” Adam screams in the phone. I knew he’d hate this.

“Derek Peddington is up for another year as superintendent and doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the election.”

“Oh
, so this shit is just political. Fucker.” It gets quiet on Adam’s end, and I know he’s thinking. I flip through my notes, reading the email from Derek. It’s straightforward, and his thoughts on the literacy program with the devices are vague. I read more of the email and open the search engine, trying to figure more out about this guy.

I come across an article
, which talks about his personal learning disabilities and struggles with school and learning. He ended up staying in school for nine years before he obtained his Master’s degree. The more I read, the more I come to understand his mission, which is to bring students new and innovative ways to learn. I scratch my chin. “Adam...” I read the article and pull up another one about Peddington. “He has a certain image, and I think he thinks we’re not going to take this seriously.”

“What do you mean?”

I tell Adam what I read, and he starts laughing. He doesn’t understand Peddington’s reason for wanting more control and the devices we have in place. “Adam, he has a disability, and I think he thinks since we’re young and full of shit, that we don’t understand his values or what he needs, and we just want money.”

“Set up a meeting with him
. I can’t get out there to sit in with you but I trust you. We need this, Connor.”

I agree with him and end the call, assuring him I’ll get the meeting and everything we need to finalize the contracts and move on to our next project. I grab my coat again and decide to take a risk and head over to see him myself. The front desk gets a cab for me and I head outside and give the cab the address of Peddington’s office. I hope that he’s still there and wants to listen.

When I arrive to the office twenty minutes later I notice the lights are on inside. I explain to the front desk that it’s an emergency and that I’m here to see Peddington. They promptly check my ID and call up to get the okay before ushering me to his floor. His office door is open, and he’s in there on his computer. I knock on the door, and he turns around. “Mr. Simpson?”

“Sorry, Mr. Peddington. I know this is unusual
, but I wanted to come see you and talk to you. Just us, no one else.”

He nods for me to take a seat.
I begin to tell him why Optimax can help his students, and how Adam and I know what we’re doing when it comes to the devices and ensuring the effectiveness. I know I have his undivided attention by the curiosity in his eyes, so I tell him my own story and struggle with learning. I was never diagnosed, but I had issues with learning and paying attention in school. He looks at me attentively, and I can see the wheels turning as he takes in everything I have to say. His whole body and demeanor relax, and he starts talking more about his own struggles and goals for the project.

“I want everything to be right for the students. It’s not fair to have them suffer by our decisions.”

“Yes, I completely agree but you have to trust me and Adam. We both know what we’re doing and I know you’ll agree.”

“Alright,” he looks at me,
sighs, and turns around to look at a picture on the windowsill. I peek and see the picture of him with who I’m assuming is his son. “Colin’s only four, but the doctors think he’s autistic. So you can see, Connor, how important everything is to me and the district.”

“I understand,” I say, not taking my eyes off the picture.

“Just act surprised when I sign off on everything tomorrow.” He gets up and I follow suit. We shake hands and walk out together. After saying goodnight, I get back in the cab and head to the hotel. I email Adam and start to relax, since I’ll be able to go home soon. I make it through the lobby and get on the elevator to the tenth floor. When I get in my room, an emptiness hits me.

I hate being away from Erin
. She’s my slice of paradise. I love coming home to her beautiful, radiant smile greeting me. When I think about having a lover as my best friend, my mind goes to Erin. Her carefree spirit, and ability to look at the positive points in life, makes her special. Unique. She’s more than just my girlfriend—she’s the love of my life. Thinking about her smile, and what it does to me, I know she’s perfect for me.

Looking out the window, seeing the calm waters and clear sky, I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing.
She’s always on my mind. Every day, I hope to get the call from Adam letting me know it’s time to come back home. Sometimes I wish I could walk away, but I know deep down, that’s not the right answer. This is my family’s company, and they need me. I’ve never been the type of person to run away from my issues. When people count on you, you do everything you can to make them proud. That’s what my dad taught me before he passed away.

Adam knows how much I hate being away
, but this is what I have to do so he can be home with Sophia. My future niece/nephew needs their dad around. Sophia still gets nervous being alone, and even she hates to admit it, but having Adam near her helps. The shit with Kyle still gets to her, and from what Adam tells me her nightmares are still there. She still sees Doctor Taylor, but Sophia won’t take any medicine to help her sleep, especially now that she’s pregnant.

My laptop beeps, pulling me from my thoughts. Walking over to the bed, I check the screen to see what’s going on
. It’s a notification of a new email from Adam. I open the email to see what it says. As I’m reading the final contract and terms, a breath of relief comes out. Finally, the last few sentences catch my attention.

Get on the jet tomorrow night. Don’t tell Erin. Come home and get your plan in motion. See you soon, brother. Safe travels.

Jesus Christ, I can finally breathe again. I definitely feel like a major weight was just lifted off my shoulders. I can’t wait to get back home and see my girl’s face. I email Adam back, and then my mother to make sure everything is set in motion, and my heart beats fast. Shit. This is making me edgy, but I know it’s the best thing to do. My clammy hands start shaking, and I have to remember to breathe. Fuck, I can present information to people I don’t know, I can play basketball in front of thousands of people, but when it comes to this, I’m a pussy shit. I love Erin more than life and I want us to see forever. Thinking about everything she’d done for me makes everything worth it—all the traveling and working, it’s all for her. For us. Pulling out my phone, I unlock it and look at the picture of us as my background. Her smile, damn. She can stop anyone in their tracks with that incredible smile. “This is all for us, baby.”

I work some more on the contract
, and when I’m done, I shower and change my clothes. I realize I haven’t had anything to eat yet, so I head down to the bar to get some dinner and a few drinks. No one is around now, but I don’t mind being alone. The bartender takes my order and comes back with my Stella Artois beer. My phone beeps, and I see that it’s more emails from Adam. I quickly read what he says and text him letting him know about the changes and everything should be good to go. The beer is soothing, and I finish it before my dinner comes out. I order another beer and start eating my steak, rice, and broccoli. Looking around, I see couples with their families. Sitting alone at the bar, eating dinner, and drinking—this isn’t the life for me.

Suddenly, a mom with her son
catches my eye. The mother is young and her son is at least five or six. They’re holding hands, and she’s laughing at what he’s telling her. I think about my parents and how much fun we use to have.

“Connor! Sweetie
, come on, it’s time for dinner.”

“Coming,
Mom!” I ran down the stairs and saw her smiling at me at the end of the stairs. “Please tell me you made fried chicken and mashed potatoes?”

She nodded her head toward the kitchen
. “Go see.”

I ran to the kitchen and the fresh smell of chicken hit me. I
loved when she made this for me. My mom came in after me, and she gave my dad a hug. I was their only son, which made me sad. They always wanted a brother or sister for me but I was fine. I had my best friend, Adam.

“Son, make sure you eat plenty tonight. I hate when you go over to the Simpson’s and raid their kitchen with Adam. You make it look like we don’t feed you.”

“Oh, honey, stop. Our son has a huge appetite.”

“Yeah
, Dad. I wanna be tall and big like you.” We all started laughing.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come to the party with us, Connor? It’ll be fun! There’s going to be kids there too, sweetie.”

“Yeah, Mom. I’m good.” I told her, eating my chicken. My mom was seriously the best cook ever.

“Alright,” she sighed
. “Well, make sure you pack a bag since you’ll be sleeping over. And for the love of God, do not cause terror tonight, Connor!” Dad and I laughed.

After I was done with dinner, I ran up to my room and packed a bag for my sleepover. My dad came in to help me pack. We talked about going to my first NCAA basketball game, and I was excited. Dad carried my bag downstairs and we headed over to Adam’s house.

“Connor, be good tonight for the Simpson’s, okay?” my mom says.

“Mom
, I’ll be fine.”

“Connor, just listen to your mom
, alright, son?”

I sighed
. “Okay, Dad. Have fun tonight. See you later, right?”

My mom reached for my hand, squeezed
it, and smiled. “Of course, honey. We’ll be back to pick you up in the morning.”

“Alright
, cool. Love you both.”

“Love you, Connor.” My dad smiled and waved as I got out of the car and ran
up to Adam’s house.

Later that night, Mrs. Simpson came into Adam’s room. She was crying and when she looked at me, I saw her covering her
mouth, and I wondered what was going on. Mr. Simpson came in and his blood shot eyes told me something was wrong. I looked at the clock and it was almost midnight. I wondered what was going on and why they were in Adam’s room, looking at me, and not talking.