Next to Me (17 page)

“I have
more
than a million questions. It’s just that I plan on holding my father hostage and asking him every single one of them. The last time I saw my father I was watching him die. I plan on replacing that memory.” Landon kisses my forehead, causing a rush of warmth to run through me.

“That sounds great,” he says.

I come back to the moment and Landon and I work together to make breakfast. I soften some cream cheese in the microwave to mix with the eggs I’m going to scramble while Landon gets started on the turkey bacon. The first time I made breakfast for him we had quite the discussion on the validity of turkey bacon being
real
bacon. He said that they were
strips of turkey
and it’s disrespectful to pigs everywhere to call what I was cooking up bacon. When it came time to eat, though, his feelings on the subject didn’t keep him from downing six pieces of my faux breakfast meat.

Spring swings through the kitchen are her way out, grabbing a travel mug and adding some coffee to her cream before she leaves for the day and Landon and I sit down to eat.

“Can I ask you something?” Landon says as I pour him some coffee.

“Anything,” I tell him with a confident smile.

“If the circumstances were different…if I weren’t Landon Scott, the guy who was hired to find you…if I was really Landon Scott, random guy who works in securities…would you have told me about your past?” He looks at me with genuine inquiry.

“You want to know if I would have ever really let you in.” It’s a legitimate question, but I’m not sure how to answer it. I don’t know what he knows about my past and I’m not prepared to lay it out there, even now, not until I have answers from Dad. “I don’t know. I was running from someone who I believed had my father killed...someone I believed was going to kill me, too, if I didn’t cooperate with him. I would never have wanted to put you in danger.”

Landon presses his lips together and nods, not sure how exactly to

respond. “Will you tell me the whole story one day?”

“Yes,” I answer truthfully. Once I have all the answers from my father I’ll be able to tell Landon everything. I just have to fill in the blanks of my own questions first. “Can I ask
you
something?”

“Of course,” he smiles, seeming to feel better now that I’ve agreed to let him in on all the details at some point.

“If you hadn’t been brought into the ER, and I hadn’t met the blonde, when would you have told me the truth?”

“Well, I was honest when I told you I was worried I’d be left behind as soon as you knew. I was sure there would be a combination of being focused on your father and being totally pissed at me for lying to you. I never expected to fall in love with you. I mean, I’ve been doing this a long time, Jenna, and I’ve never,
ever
gotten close to anyone like I have you. I never wanted to,” he tells me. “But, I’ve been in Chicago for over six months now and your father was getting impatient, so I imagine I would have had to tell you soon. I told him a few days ago that I was running my last lead, but that I thought you might be his daughter.”

“So…how long have you been doing this? Finding people who don’t want to be found?” I ask. “This doesn’t seem like something you just decide one day you’re going to do.”

“I became a kind of
reverse
skip tracer shortly after I got out of the military. I stumbled upon it out of necessity. The S Squad had a pact. We had each written letters to our families that would be delivered only if we were killed in combat. The pact was that whoever survived would deliver the letters by hand. The Navy would send the official messenger to their homes, but we wanted someone who knew us to personally connect with our loved ones with our last words to them. We
hoped
we’d
all
make it home, but never thought it’d be only one of us. So, I had to deliver all three letters.

“The problem was that Kyle had a falling out with his family before he enlisted and hadn’t been in touch with them since. By the time I got to deliver his letter, the address he had for them wasn’t any good and there was no forwarding address. The rift was so bad that they moved without tell him.” Landon gives an annoyed sigh before continuing. “Their son was fighting for their freedom and they didn’t bother to tell him they moved. It took everything in me not to punch his asshole father in the face when I finally did track them down. He showed little, if any, emotion. His mother, on the other hand, was a mess. Clearly the problem had been between Kyle and his dad.”

“That sucks. So how did that lead to you becoming this
reverse skip tracer
?” I ask him.

“Well, a skip tracer helps people get lost who don’t want to be found. Whoever helped you get
lost
would have been a skip tracer.” I guess Dad didn’t tell him about Oz, which would make sense since it seems something has happened that Dad couldn’t get my whereabouts from him. Dad wouldn’t have gone into all of that and would have just stuck with the mission at hand of finding me. “As a reverse skip tracer, I
find
people. Word got out with some other guys I knew in the Navy and they got me connected with some people who were willing to pay me whatever it took to find people who may or may not have wanted to be found.”

“Why would you do that? If someone doesn’t want to be found, why would you unearth them like that?” I ask with a bit of annoyance in my tone.

“Sometimes people skip town because they owe someone a lot of money,” he begins.

“Yeah, and some people skip town because they’re running from something terrible,” I counter, using myself as an example.

“Hey…I’ve also found a lot of people who were
happy
to be found. Long

lost families, birth parents, children given up for adoption, people who had crazy inheritances coming to them. It’s a job, Jenna. A
very
good
paying job that’s allowed me to see parts of the world I would have never travelled to otherwise,” Landon explains in defense of himself. His voice is strong after

my challenge.

I hadn’t thought about the fact that Landon’s job has him travelling all the time. I lower my head as I wonder what this will mean for us. Now that his job of finding me is complete, does he have another job waiting in the wings? Will his next job have him convincing unsuspecting women that he’s interested in them just so he can get as close as possible? Or will this new job take him to the other side of world for an undeterminable amount of time?

I’m about to express my fears when Landon’s cell rings. He pulls it out of his pocket and stands as he answers it. “Yes sir…excellent. Of course, but she’s right here if you’d like to tell her yourself.”
It’s my father! My father is on the other side of that phone conversation!
“Of course. Yes, I’ll be sure to tell her. Yes. Yes. Excellent. We’ll see you then.”

“He didn’t want to talk to me?” My face squishes together in sadness and confusion as Landon ends the call and drops his phone back into his pocket.

“He didn’t want your first conversation in six years to be over the phone. He knows you have a lot of questions for him and was sure that once you got his ear you wouldn’t be able to hold back,” Landon says.

“Well…he’s right. So when will he be here? When can I see him?” I ask excitedly, momentarily forgetting about my own fears of abandonment by Landon.

“He wasn’t able to get a flight out until later, so it’ll be 8:00 tonight before we can meet with him. He’s already made reservations at Fronterra, so I guess we’re going out for insanely good Mexican food tonight,” Landon smiles.

“Ok, then. I have ten hours to figure out what I’m going to wear.” I stand

and a little laugh escapes me as I realize I’m actually nervous about seeing my father tonight. Landon gives me a confused look. “I was 19 the last time my father saw me. I’m not a kid anymore. I’ve grown up. I have a career and a life…and you. My dad was always really protective of me, and while I’m ecstatic he’s alive and I’m going to see him tonight, I just want to make sure he knows I’m all grown up and doing really well.”

“I’m sure he’s fully aware of that, Jenna.” Landon wraps his arms around me, calming my nerves. “Are you ok? You were looking a little off when I answered the phone.”

“Yeah…I’m fine,” I tell him. There’s no sense in bringing up my concern about our future now. There’s a lot to think about for tonight and Landon and I will just have to cross the bridge of his job when we get to it. We’ll consider all the options when it comes time.

We eat breakfast and Landon leaves me to my silent thoughts. I have so many questions for my father. I’m not sure which to ask first, after I wrap my arms around him, that is. I want to know what happened after I left him in the park. How long did he lie there, alone, and who rescued him and took him to a hospital? What has he been doing all this time? Why didn’t he just ask Oz where I was and come for me himself? Has something happened to Oz? Most of all, I want to know how he’s able to safely come for me now.

“Tell me about your dad,” Landon says as we climb back into bed. He’s back down to just his boxer briefs and I question the sanity of stopping him from taking my clothes off last night.

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I’ve spent the last month completely avoiding as many real conversations about family as possible. And I’ve been really inconsiderate in not asking about your family at all, only because I was afraid you’d ask about mine. So, since you’ve already met my dad, I think it’s my turn to ask you about your family,” I tell him.

“I only know your father as my employer, not as my girlfriend’s father. You’re supposed to tell me about him so I know what I’m headed into.” Landon pulls me closer and I rest my head on his shoulder, engulfed by his strong arms.

“I see your point, but…”

“But?”

“But I really want to know about your family. I’ve missed really knowing someone. I’ve had to keep from asking about people’s lives so I could remain guarded about mine. If I didn’t open the door to knowing about my friends’ families, then no one would knock on mine and my secret would stay safe. I want to know you, Landon. Please, let me have this right now.” I feel Landon’s arms tighten around me followed by him kissing the top of my head.

“What would you like to know?” he asks softly, giving in to my plea.

“Tell me about your mom and dad,” I say.

“Well…my dad was a cop and my mom was…a mom. She had the dance studio, but mostly stayed home while Dad brought home the bacon.
Real
bacon, by the way,” he teases. I poke his side giving him a retaliatory tickle. “She was only at the dance studio a couple of days a week.”

“Do you really have a sister or was that just part of your story?” I ask. Being an only child, I’m hoping he says it was true. I’m seeing a long life with Landon and to have a sister, even if an in-law, will be amazing.

“Ouch! Yes, I have a sister. Her name is Amy and she still lives in Miami, just like I said. Her husband’s name is Steven and her daughters are Isabella and Jordan, who are ten and eight.”

“What’s your mom’s name?”

“Lucia.”

“And your dad’s name?”

“Michael.”

“Well, I can’t wait to meet all of them. I hope your mom likes me. Maybe

I’ll have to dance for her approval,” I laugh.

“If that’s the test, you’ll win her over immediately! You have nothing to worry about. I’m the one who’s biting my nails over here about seeing your dad tonight.” Landon takes his arm from around me and moves so he’s facing

me. I follow and mirror his position on my side.

“Are you kidding me? You have absolutely nothing to be worried about. You found his daughter! I’m pretty sure that makes you boyfriend of the century!” I lean in and kiss Landon with the intent of making it quick. Landon has other plans and pulls me in and on top of him. His hands are quickly on my back and under my shirt, pressing me closer to him. He’s careful not to cross the line I set last night. I don’t think either one of us wants our first time together to be under these circumstances. There’s too much to think about…too much on my mind for me to be able to really get my head in the game. Once things settle down I’m sure we’ll fall into a normal groove, but now is not the time.

We eventually agree a nap is in order since we got very little sleep last night, and I want to look rested when I see Dad. I don’t want him to think I’m not taking care of myself.

As I drift off, lying there in Landon’s arms, I think as I did this morning about just how perfect my life is in this moment. I have the job of my dreams, the guy of my dreams, and as if it were a dream, my father is alive. Life truly couldn’t be any more picture-perfect.

Chapter 11

Landon goes back to his hotel to shower and change and is back at my apartment at seven. When I let him in I’m wearing my robe, still undecided about what I should wear.