Nickels (29 page)

“You said that Jesus was everything you had been looking
for.  What game are you playing with me, Kyle?”

“I’m not playing any games with you,” he answered as he
pulled into her driveway.

“Those were Jack’s words.  How could you know that?”

The moment he put the truck into park, Niki launched out the
door, running to her front door.  The tears poured down her face, making it
impossible to see to unlock that stupid security door.  Her hands shook and she
dropped her keys.  She sank down to the hot cement of the patio, bawling. 
Years of anguish broke forth.

Kyle came to her side.  He picked up the keys and unlocked
both doors.  Then he helped her stand.  As soon as they were in the house, she
turned on him again.

“Those were Jack’s words.”  She accused him again.

“I’m sorry.  I don’t understand what Jack has to do with
this.”

She grabbed his hand and dragged him back to her room.  Just
inside the door, she dropped his hand and went to her desk.  She pulled out the
stack of letters.  Flipping to the last one, she gently removed it from the
envelope.

She slowly unfolded the last words from her brother.  “Those
were Jack’s words,” she said again, between sobs.  She thrust the letter toward
Kyle.  As he took it, she sunk onto her bed.

“Niki, I can’t read this.”

“Just read.”

She watched him to make sure he read the whole thing.  When
he finished, he dropped his arm to his side.

“I’ve never seen this.  I don’t know why you think I used
Jack’s words.”

“You said the exact same thing.”

His face lightened, as if he understood a secret, but he
said nothing.  Instead, he leaned against the footboard of her bed, silent.

She swiped a pillow from her bed and hugged it close. 
Kicking off her sandals, she pulled her legs onto the bed.  She crossed them,
covering them with the long skirt of her yellow sun dress, a dress that seemed
way too bright for the darkness swallowing her heart.

“I want to change,” she whispered.  “I don’t want to feel
empty any more.  I’m tired of being alone.”  Her voice caught on a sob.

Kyle moved to sit next to her.  He put his arm around her
shoulders and hugged her close to his side.  “You don’t have to be alone.”  His
voice was soft, full of compassion.  “You can let Jesus change you.  If he can
change me, he can change you.”

“How?”

He was silent for a minute.  He closed his eyes.  “Let me
pray with you.”

When she nodded, he prayed.  Niki wasn’t sure she really
heard the words.  But her heart cried out. 
Change me, Jesus.  Please change
me!  I can’t live this way anymore.  I need you.  I am broken.  I have been
wrong.  I need you.

The sobs turned to soft tears as an amazing presence filled
the room.  She almost felt like if she opened her eyes, she would actually see
Jesus standing there.  She didn’t feel empty anymore.  She finally understood
what Jack was trying to tell her all along.  She had always been looking for
something, even though she didn’t know what it was.  But now that she had
it—Jesus—she knew she had been missing Him.

She released her hold on the pillow and set it aside.  As
she opened her eyes, she smiled, the last of her anger and resentment
disappearing.  Kyle turned her face towards him.  He brushed the tears from her
cheeks with his thumb.

“You okay?”

She nodded.

“I’m going to get you some water.  Why don’t you take a
minute then come out to the kitchen?”

She nodded again.

He squeezed her shoulders in a side hug before standing.

When he left her room, she went into her bathroom and washed
her face.  Staring at her reflection, she looked different somehow.  Is that
how it worked?

As she walked down the hall towards the great room, she
heard Kyle on the phone.

“She’s okay, Mom.  Better than okay.”

After a pause, “I’m fine, Mom.”

Another pause.

“Yes, it was hard, but necessary.”

Pause.

“No, I’m going home shortly.”  He sounded drained and sad.

A pang of guilt stabbed Niki.  She really hadn’t meant to
hurt him.  It must have been hard remembering the accident and his part in it.

As she stepped into the kitchen, Kyle hung up.  Then he
handed her some water.

“How mad are your parents?” She ventured as she took the
water.

“They’re not.  They’re just happy that you’ve come around.” 
Though he smiled, it looked strained.

She wanted to ask how mad he was, but the words stuck in her
throat as the silence stretched.

“I called Matt.  He’s going to come over and hang out with
you this evening.  He can answer the questions that I’m sure you’ll have.”

“Why can’t you answer them?”

“I’m going home.”

“Why?” she asked.  She wanted him to stay.

He sighed and looked away.  “I’m tired.”  He walked towards
the door.

“Kyle,” she said, touching his arm.  He stiffened.  “I’m
sorry.  I’m sorry I called you out at lunch.  I’m sorry I—”

“Don’t worry about it.”  He pulled her into a hug then
kissed her forehead.  “It just took a lot out of me.”

He flashed a half-smile, before leaving, giving her hope
that he might not be angry too long.

“Bye,” she said closing the door behind him.

A half hour later, Matt showed up, bearing gifts.

“Pizza,” he said holding up one hand, “for hungry bellies. 
And this,” he said handing her a gift bag, “for hungry souls.”

As Matt walked to the counter to set down the pizza, Niki
opened the gift bag.  “You got me a Bible?”

He smiled.  “Kyle said he didn’t think you had one.”

She turned it over in her hands.  “I didn’t.”

Setting the gift on the counter, she retrieved some paper
plates from the cupboard.  Handing one to Matt, she asked, “So, how does this
work?  I mean, what do I do now?”  She filled her plate with a few slices
before taking a seat at the table.

Matt added a few slices to his plate and sat across from
her.  As she munched on her pizza, he shared things he found helpful, especially
in the early days right after he accepted Christ.  She soaked up everything,
taking to heart his advice.

Shortly after he left, the sound of a key in the front door
lock sent Niki’s heart to her throat.  That would be Marcy.

As her friend opened the door, Niki tried to figure out how
to make amends.  Not only had she pushed Kyle, but she ruined the dinner that
should have been a celebration of Marcy’s engagement.  Some friend she was.

“I’m so sorry that I ruined your big announcement,” she said
as Marcy dropped her purse on the kitchen counter.

Marcy sat on one of the stools, sipping her diet soda. 
“It’s okay.  We got to make the announcement before…  Well, all of that.”

Niki finished putting away the leftovers and tossed the
pizza box in the recycle bin.  “So, have you and Chad set a date?”

“We talked about early December.  That gives us almost five
months to arrange everything.”  Marcy sighed, a contented sigh.  “I can hardly
wait.”

Niki smiled.  “I am so happy for you.  You two seem good
together.”

“I’m just lucky you are such a good friend—that you gave him
my number.”

“Guess
I
ended up being the match maker.”

Turning more serious, she asked, “Do you think Kyle is mad
at me for this afternoon?”

Marcy’s eyes looked distant when she responded.  “That was a
very painful experience for him.  In the accident, he lost friends, his career,
and his dream job.  He nearly lost his ability to walk.  But, what he gained
outweighs it all.

“I’m sure telling his story brought some of that pain to the
surface again.  But, I don’t think he’s mad at you.  He cares about you too
much.  And look at the wonderful thing that came from it.”

Marcy stood.  Facing Niki, she gently placed her hands on
her shoulders.  “Niki, I have wanted this for you for so long.”  Tears rolled
down her friend’s face as she pulled her into a warm embrace.

Niki felt her own cheeks moisten.  “Thanks for not giving up
on me.”

“What are friends for?”

She smiled.  It was going to hurt to lose Marcy as a
roommate.

“One last favor,” Marcy said.  “Will you be my maid of
honor?”

Niki squealed and hugged Marcy again.  “Yes!”

Kyle drove home with the radio off.  It had been hard enough
to face the anniversary of the crash.  But to relive it by telling his story?

The stress of the afternoon settled into his lower back. 
His muscles tightened into a painful spasm as he pulled into his parking space
outside his townhome.  Sharp pain shot from his surgery site to his toes.

Awkwardly he made his way inside his townhome.  He headed
straight for the counter and downed a pain pill without any water.  Resting his
palms flat on the counter, he took in a sharp breath.

When the pain dulled some, he eyed the stairs.  No way was
he going to try those right now.  He walked over to the couch and eased himself
down on it, kicking off his shoes.

As he rested his head against the throw pillow, he let the
tears fall.  Echoes from the accident bounced in his mind.  The grief was too
much.  Old voices accused him again of killing Brad and his team.

Then Niki’s face flashed before his eyes.  Sweet Niki.

If his heart wasn’t so completely overwhelmed with sorrow,
he would be dancing.  She believed.  There was nothing stopping him from
pursuing a relationship with her.  He should be rejoicing.

Instead, as the medicine made him drowsy, he fell asleep to
images of the accident.

Chapter 26

On Tuesday, Brian called and asked Niki to head over to
Elite’s office at ten.  He wanted her in the second interview with Joe.  He
also said he had something really important to discuss with her, which normally
would have piqued her interest—but not today.  She was too distracted to give
it further thought.

As soon as her status meeting finished, she drove to Elite’s
office.  She couldn’t shake her fear that something was wrong with Kyle.  He
missed work yesterday and it looked like he wasn’t going to be in today.  She
felt like it was her fault.  Maybe if she hadn’t pushed him so hard on Sunday…

It didn’t matter.  The most she could do was apologize the
next time she saw him.

When she arrived at Elite’s office, she parked near the
front.  Then she entered the building and headed straight for Brian’s office.

“Hey, boss,” she greeted, knocking on his door.

“Come in.  Close the door behind you.”

Niki swallowed.  This sounded serious.  Trying to lighten
the mood, she asked, “What did you think of Joe?”

“We’re going to make an offer.  The kid has talent.”

She smiled.  Everyone younger than Brian was a kid—including
her.

“So, why the second interview?”

“Don’t want word to get out that he’s the only one who
didn’t come in for a second.  Anyway, I thought you could give him some
background on Global Axis Systems.  That will be his first assignment.”

“Me?  Why not Nate?  He’s been there much more recently.”

“Yeah, well…”  Brian stalled—something way out of character
for him.  A soft knock sounded on the door before she could ask what he was
hiding.

“Your interview is here,” the receptionist stated.

Brian thanked her and told her he’d be out in a minute.

“Niki, they are really pressing to get you back.”

She was confused for a minute.  “Who? Global?”

At Brian’s nod, she continued, “We’ve been over this.  I’m
right in the middle of the project at Helitronics.  I’ve got everything going
smoothly now.  They’re happy.  I’m happy.”

“I know.  I hear great things from Russell about the work
you’re doing.  But, Global is really serious.  They want you.  They are
launching a new project in a few weeks and they want you as lead.  They’re
nervous that I’m sending them a newbie analyst.  They would feel more
comfortable if you were there.”