Night Beach (32 page)

Kane.

As
I
go
to
step
off
the
bed,
I
notice
something
else.
All
my
art
books,
the
ones
I
keep
in
a

pile
on
the
floor
at
the
head
of
my
bed,
are
open.
Spread
across
the
carpet
like
so
many

dead
butterflies.

24

Après-‐ski

‘I
hear
you’ve
got
your
car
back,’
Anna
says
by
way
of
greeting
when
she
finally
calls.
‘I

still
can’t
believe
they
bought
you
one.’

‘Nice
of
you
to
turn
up.
Why
didn’t
you
ring
me
back?’

‘I
forgot
to
take
my
phone
with
me.
I
only
just
got
your
messages.’
Anna
pauses
for
half
a

second
and
then
says,
‘Well?
Ask
me
how
it
went.’

‘How
what
went?’

‘My
ski
trip.
Jindabyne,
Perisher,
Blue
Cow.’

‘Is
that
where
you’ve
been?’
I
can’t
remember
her
telling
me
about
any
ski
trip.
I
figured

she
was
just
caught
up
in
her
Canberra
life
as
per
usual.
When
she’s
not
studying,
she’s

busy
being
paid
to
study
–
she’s
a
research
assistant
to
Dr
Victor
Mueller,
whoever
he
is.

‘Was
it
good?’

‘Hmm-‐mm.
Especially
the
après-‐ski.’

I
groan.
‘Don’t
say
that.
That
sounds
so
wanky.’

‘That’s
what
it’s
called.
Après-‐ski.’

‘Yeah,
but
no
one
actually
says
that.
It’s
dumb.
You
sound
like
some
Eurotrash
person.
I

bet
you
drank
schnapps,
too.’

‘So?’
she
says,
a
tad
defensively.

‘Schnapps
in
the
spa?’

‘Piss
off,
Abbie.’

‘You’re
like
cliché
city.
What
else?
Get
laid?
Oh
no,
wait,
I’ve
got
it.
Did
you
pull
one
of

the
instructors?’

‘When
you’re
finished.’

I
shift
in
my
seat,
thinking
it’s
Hollywood
walking
towards
me.
But
it’s
some
other
guy
in

a
white
shirt
and
black
pants
with
brown
hair.
I’ve
got
the
radio
playing
and
my
doors

locked
because
it’s
creepy
sitting
in
a
dark
car
park
all
by
yourself.
I’m
at
The
Heights

Country
Club
because
Hollywood
texted
me,
asking
me
to
pick
him
up
after
work,
and
I

wanted
to
get
out
of
that
house
once
night
came.
I
told
Mum
the
truth:
I’m
going
to
help

Hollywood
with
his
Visual
Arts
project,
and
I
don’t
know
when
I’ll
be
home.
She
was

distracted;
moody
because
someone
challenged
her
at
work.
She
was
sitting
in
Brian’s

chair
in
the
study
when
I
left,
discussing
it
with
him
on
the
phone.
She
paused
long

enough
to
tell
me
that
she’d
probably
be
in
bed
when
I
got
back.
She
always
goes
to
bed

early
when
he’s
away.

Rain
splatters
against
the
windscreen,
making
me
jump.

Hollywood
has
worked
behind
the
bar
here
since
he
turned
eighteen.
His
hand
doesn’t

slow
him
down,
apparently;
although
I
know
for
a
fact
he
uses
it
as
an
excuse
to
get
out

of
his
turn
at
being
glassie.

Making
an
obvious
effort
to
change
the
subject,
which
leaves
me
with
the
vague

suspicion
she
may
actually
have
got
up
close
and
personal
with
a
ski
instructor,
Anna

says,
‘How
is
the
car
going,
anyway?’

‘Stressful.
I
wish
it
was
an
automatic.’

‘So
give
it
back.’

‘They
bought
you
a
car,
too,’
I
remind
her.

‘Yes,
but
that
was
because
I
was
going
to
university
in
Canberra.
I
can’t
believe
they’ve

bought
you
one
now.
Before
school
even
ends.
It’s
not
fair.’

‘Oh,
look
at
that.
You’re
getting
to
be
more
like
your
mother
every
day.’

‘Ha.
Ha.
Now,
are
you
going
to
tell
me
what
the
big
drama
is?’

I
sigh.
‘It’s
to
do
with
Kane.’

‘The
wave
jockey’s
back?
I
thought
he
was
overseas
until
next
week.’

‘He
came
back
early.’

‘Has
he
tried
to
seduce
you
again?’

‘Seduce?
Who
says
that?’
To
listen
to
Anna,
you’d
think
a
second
round
between
Kane

and
me
is
imminent.
She
always
overestimates
what
I
might
get
up
to.
It’s
kind
of

flattering.

‘Hey,
how
long
are
people
normally
asleep
with
jet
lag?’

‘I
don’t
know.
You
were
pretty
knocked
out
when
we
went
to
London
the
first
time.

Didn’t
you
sleep
for
sixteen
hours?
Why?’

‘’Cause
he’s
been
asleep
for,
like,
thirty
hours
straight.’

I
worked
on
my
painting
for
most
of
the
day,
and
from
time
to
time
I
went
into
Kane’s

room
to
try
waking
him
up.

With
no
luck.
If
he
hadn’t
moved
a
couple
of
times,
I
would
have
been
frightened
that
he

was
in
a
coma.

‘Maybe
he’s
taken
something,’
Anna
says.

‘Like
drugs?’

‘Yeah,
or
travel
medication.
Does
he
seem
all
right
otherwise?’

‘He
was
feverish
yesterday.
But
not
now.
Now
he
just
seems
really
asleep.’

‘Well,
if
you’re
standing
around
watching
him
all
day,
I
guess
the
study
isn’t
going
too

well.’

‘What
study?’

Anna’s
voice
sharpens.
‘Exactly,
Abbie.
I’m
talking
about
the
HSC.
You
have
been

studying,
haven’t
you?’

‘Yeah.
I
mean,
no.
I
mean
–
I
don’t
know,
I
thought
you
meant
something
specifically.

Like,
a
specific
subject.’
I
hate
it
when
Anna
gets
on
my
case
about
the
HSC.
I
hate
it.
It

stresses
me
out.

‘I
can’t
believe
you.’

‘I
have
been
studying!
I
really
have.
I’ve
been
doing
stuff
for
Visual
Arts.’

‘That’s
great,
Abbie.
I’m
glad
you’re
spending
all
your
time
on
a
subject
that
you’re
good

at
and
ignoring
the
ones
that
are
going
to
have
a
big
impact
on
your
overall
score.

Excellent
choice.
When
are
you
going
to
stop
coasting?’

‘I’m
not
coasting.
I’m
just
not
rabid
like
you
are.’

Anna’s
one
of
those
people
who
get
fired
up
about
injustices
in
the
world;
quick
to

quiver
with
rage
because
other
people
don’t
ignite
like
she
does.
I’ve
heard
of
Tibet;
she

actually
knows
about
its
history.
Same
goes
for
Burma,
East
Timor,
and
any
other
place

you
can
name.
For
Anna,
education
is
interesting
and
vital.
Equipping
her
for
battle.
She

makes
me
feel
guilty,
because
all
I
care
about
are
dreamy
things.

Anna
sniffs.
‘Is
this
what
your
big
drama
has
been
about?
Kane’s
jet
lag?’

‘Not
exactly.’

‘Then
what?’

I
groan.
‘I
can’t.’

‘I’m
your
sister.’

‘Yeah,
but
I’m
going
to
sound
like
some
mental
person.’

‘I’ll
still
be
your
sister.’

‘Okay.’
I
take
a
deep
breath.
‘When
he
came
back,
the
first
thing
Kane
did
was
get
in
a

fight,
and
he’s
broken
up
with
Lauren.’
That’s
how
I
start.
And
I
don’t
stop
until
I’ve

filled
her
in
on
everything.
Including
my
trip
to
the
night
beach,
and
how
it
felt
too
real

to
only
be
a
dream.

The
unsettling
thing
about
Anna
is
that
she’s
actually
a
good
listener.
I
always
forget

that
on
account
of
her
rants.

‘Then
today,
when
I
was
in
his
room,
his
mobile
rang
like
seven
or
eight
times.
But
it

was
his
old
mobile.
And
that
made
me
think
about
the
other
one.
The
‘Fire’
one.
And
I

couldn’t
see
it
anywhere.
So
then
I
went
and
checked
the
wheelie
bin.

It
was
in
there.
Smashed
into
little
bits
and
pieces.
That’s
what
he
was
doing
when
I
saw

him
that
night.
Dumping
it.’

‘You’re
going
through
his
rubbish
now?’

‘No,’
I
say,
embarrassed
because
I
actually
kept
his
rubbish.

The
pieces
of
the
smashed
mobile
currently
reside
in
the
cup
of
secrets,
along
with
his

condom.
‘I
just
had
to
know,
that’s
all.’

‘Why?’

‘I
don’t
know.’

Anna
is
silent
for
a
long
time.
Then
she
says
the
last
thing
I
expect:
‘How
is
everything

between
you
and
Hollywood?’

‘What?’

‘Is
he
still
acting
weird
towards
you?’

‘Yeah.
But
that’s
nothing
to
do
with
this.’

‘I
think
it
is.’

We
are
both
quiet.

When
Anna
speaks
again,
her
tone
is
hesitant,
but
definite
enough
that
I
know
she’s

being
honest.
‘Okay,
the
way
I
see
it,
you
can
believe
one
of
two
things.
Here’s
the
first.

Everything
that
you’ve
said
about
Kane
–
the
overheating,
the
sleeping
for
ages,
the

aggression,
the
crazy
talk
–
all
of
that
means
he’s
probably
taking
drugs.’

‘So
what
are
you
saying?
I’ve
been
using,
too?
News
to
me.’

‘No.
But
Abbie,
you’ve
always
been
a
massive
daydreamer.

That’s
how
you
cope.
You’ve
gone
from
living
with
Dad
to
living
with
Mum
–
and
that’s

stressful
enough
–
but
then
you’ve
also
got
the
HSC,
and
you
had
sex
for
the
first
time

with
someone
you
thought
you
could
trust,
but
now
you
feel
like
he’s
judging
you
for
it
.

.
.
There’s
all
this
shit
going
on,
and
maybe
this
is
the
way
you’re
dealing
with
it.’
Anna

pauses.
‘Are
you
with
me?’
I
say
nothing.
‘Are
you
still
there?’

‘I
didn’t
dream
this
up.
If
I
did,
I
would
have
made
up
something
fun,
not
scary.’

‘Anxiety
Girl,
it’s
your
upbringing,
babe.’

‘Right,’
I
say.
‘So
I
am
just
some
mental
person.’

‘That’s
not
what
I’m
–’

‘You
said
I
could
believe
one
of
two
things.
Give
me
the
second.’

‘The
second
is
that
it’s
all
real.’

We’re
silent.

Then
Anna
changes
to
a
soft,
carefully
casual
voice
I’ve
never
heard
her
use
before.
‘I

read
the
other
day
that
siblings
are
much
closer
to
each
other
than
they
are
to
their