Night Sky (Satan's Sinners MC Book 3) (2 page)

I tap Writer on the shoulder, and when he looks at me I sign,
I need to tell you something.
He sits up, watching me under the light of the moon and stars on the rooftop of the clubhouse.

Well what is it?
The look of concern taking over his beautiful face.

I got a letter in the mail.
I inhale and exhale before adding,
I got offered a job and I'm thinking about taking it.

Ever, that's great! Baby, I'm so proud of you.
He gives me that smile of his, and it kills me to know I'm about to make it disappear.

Writer, it's in New York,
I sign while dropping my head. I can't bear to look at him.

He taps my arm so I lift my head back up, meeting his gorgeous green eyes.
I don't understand.

If I take the job, I will have to leave. I’ll move to New York.

No, not happening,
he signs while shaking his head back and forth furiously, his shining eyes look frantic.

You can't make that choice for me. Besides, I want you to come with me.

You know damn well I can’t leave the club! They’re my family. What the fuck would I do in New York? Why would you want to leave me?

He’s working his hands so fast. He’s getting angry and that’s not how I wanted this to go.

I don't wanna leave you, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I've told you so many times your art is amazing, you would have so many opportunities there.

Ever, I told you my art is for me, not for everyone else. If you didn’t wanna leave me, you wouldn’t even consider taking it.

That’s not true,
I sign as the tears build up in my eyes along with his. This is going so wrong.

It is true! Christ, Ever, we’ve been together for almost two years. Why would you wanna give that up?

I don’t! Not at all, I already said I want you to come with me, but I know you won't.

You're right, I won't, but please don't leave me! I can't be without you! Please just stay. Stay with me. It'll kill me if you leave. Why can't you just wait for something here?

Oh God, it kills me that he is begging, but I have to do what's right for me. I didn't work my ass off and graduate to pass something like this up.

Writer, you’re not listening! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! I won't get a chance like this here. I try reasoning with him, but it isn't helping.

Well, it sounds like you made up your mind.

I want us to stay together
, I plead with him.

That's not gonna happen, we’ll never survive it! I don't want you to go! Please don't leave me. You’re all I have besides this club.

I'm sorry. I love you, I really do.
I try showing him just how much I love him through my eyes.

That's it then- you're just gonna leave me?
He isn’t hearing anything I’m saying, he’s too caught up in his hurt.

Don't be like that, please, this is so hard for me!

This is hard for you? What about for me? The girl I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with is leaving me. I thought we would get married, have kids, and now you’re telling me the last two years were for nothing.

Writer's anger takes over as he frantically moves his hands.

It was not for nothing! I haven't even decided if I'm going. Don't be like this, please Writer I'm begging you!

You’re begging me!? What about me begging you to stay? I know you Ever, you’re going and this is the end for us.
He doesn't wait for my reply. Writer just jumps to his feet, walks to the ladder, goes down, and doesn’t look back. He leaves me there knowing I just lost the person I love the most.

WRITER

Nothing Really Matters by Mr. Probz

I look at the clock on my bedside table, numbers reading 6:15 shine bright red back at me. Fuck, it's too goddamn early for this shit after the party last night. I start counting just like I do every morning when my eyes pry open to realize I survived another shitty fuckin' day.

It’s been one year, three hundred and sixty five days, eight thousand seven hundred and sixty hours since I last saw her. It’s been that long since I held her or touched her soft skin. It’s been that long since I put my face in her hair or the crook of her neck so her honey scent could surround me.

Shaking off my wandering thoughts, I will myself to get up because I have to meet Romeo in the makeshift gym we have here at the clubhouse. Leaving the comfort and warmth of my bed, I decide to skip a shower, and pull on a pair of loose fitting gray sweatpants with a white beater, then head into the bathroom.

I look at my miserable self in the mirror as I run my hands through my hair trying to calm it some, doesn’t help much though. I guess I'll be sporting the I-got-fucked-hard last night look, at least for a little while. I brush my teeth then put on some deodorant. It's the least I can do, I don’t want to completely smell like ass afterwards. Besides I’m gonna need it for the ass kicking I’m about to inflict on my brother.

★★★

Romeo and I have been at it for a while now, hitting and kicking the punching bag, moving on to work our arms on the speed bag and run five miles on the treadmill. After our weightlifting, we stand on the mat, trying to release all the aggression we have built up by sparring with one another and working ground game for fights we have coming up. The shit kicker of it all is we do this every goddamn morning to take our minds off of the women that fucked us over, the women that broke our goddamn hearts and basically ripping us to shreds, leaving nothing left.

For Romeo it was that cunt Giovanna Gremaldi. She made him fall in love with her, only to be a backstabbing bitch. She gave her family all the information she was getting from Romeo and they held him hostage until Hanger and Crazy Girl went and got his ass back. Crazy Girl had to make the quick decision of saving Hanger and killed the girl. We all knew it wasn’t really Romeo’s fault, but he got put back on bitch duty anyway. I guess it’s better than Hanger having to kill his ass for the betrayal. I’ll tell ya, love is a motherfucker!

For me, it’s Crazy Girl’s identical twin sister, Ever. She was the light to my darkness, the stars in my night sky. She was my goddamn everything. We were together for two years before she decided to chase her dream and leave me. She was my dream! I always knew she was too good for me and that I would only bring her down, but I tried, God knows I tried to be the man to give her everything. I fell short though, just like I always do; with her, with my parents. The only shit I ever got right was becoming a part of the Satan’s Sinners. They’ve always been there for me and they always will be. They’re my family, my brothers, the only ones I need.

After putting each other on our asses a couple of times, we sit and take a breather. When we first started working out together, Romeo decided it would be best for him to learn how to sign, so he went to Crazy Girl and she taught him how. One more person to communicate with and I am grateful for it. Always writing shit on paper gets old. He turns towards me where we’re sitting on the mat, both with bottles of water sitting next to us.
You did pretty well today, but you seem distracted. What's up, brother?

Yeah, I guess I am. I just keep thinking about her.

You think you’ll ever be with anyone again?
he asks, looking curious as to what my answer would be.

Not like her, she was it for me. When I was with her, man, I felt like I could do fuckin' anything. She encouraged me, gave me strength, and empowered me.

What about now?
he questions, because everyone knows that I've changed. I'm not the sweet, quiet guy now. I know he is trying to get inside my head so I'll let him.

Now, I’m left as nothing. I drink until I can't drink anymore and pass out. I do all the drugs I can get my hands on, whether it be an upper or a downer, I don’t give a fuck. I stick my dick in whatever is available, usually a little blonde whore running around here with her tits popping out and her ass on display. You know all of the shit I've been up to since Ever left, but do you know why I do all this?

I wait for his answer and when I get a shrug of his shoulder and a shake of his head saying no, I continue.

Because she left me. She left me a broken, fucked up mess. I’ve been trying for the last year, for the last three hundred sixty five days, for the last eight thousand seven hundred and sixty-two hours to get her out of my goddamn head.

He looks at me, baffled.
You keep track of how long she has been gone?

A smirk forms on my face,
Yeah I do brother. And with everything I fuckin' do, do you think it works to keep her out of my fuckin' head?

Another shrug of the shoulder, so I answer.
Absolutely not! Sighing, I go on to tell him, When I pass out drunk or on pills, I dream about her. When I'm so high I can't sit still, I pick up a pencil and paper, only to draw her face. When I'm deep inside a little whore around the club I close my eyes and she’s all I see behind my lids.

I keep eye contact for this last part so Romeo can see just how serious I am.
Through it all, it's always her, it always has been, and it always will be. There's no fuckin' doubt about it. She is the air I breathe, the stars leading me home, and she owns every goddamn part of me.

I don't want to talk about it anymore so I switch it up on him and ask,
What about you? Will you ever give it another try?

That was some heavy shit, man. I thought I had been in love before, but it was never like that. It would be nice to have a love that strong because the whores get old, ya know? My answer though is fuck no, I will never try again. Every time I have, it fucked me in the end.

I know! Shit's getting too deep, let’s get outta here. I’m done for the day.
Some might think with a name like Romeo that he is the one to break hearts. He isn't though, he wears his heart on his sleeve and always gets fucked in the end. I do hope one day he will find a girl that will truly love him. In the end, we all want what Hanger found in Crazy Girl and Bear with Jacey. What I thought I had with Ever.

We go our separate ways, and as I go to my room, I grab my clothes, cut, and everything I need for my shower, then head into one of the main bathrooms. I turn on the shower, letting the water heat up just a little as I strip down to nothing and adjust my things where I need them. I stand under the cool water, letting it run down my sweaty body, chilling my skin. Once I’m done, I step out, dry off, and finish getting ready so I can start this fuckin' day. I used to look forward to days and time just so I could see my girl, but not now. I don’t feel that way about anything anymore.

I sit at the bar stirring around my Jack and Coke with the little straw. That shit with Romeo got way too fuckin' deep. It has my head all clouded, now thoughts of her fill my brain and all I want to do is get fucked up to make it stop.

Someone taps me on the shoulder, thank fuck for the distraction. I turn my head to the left to see Bear.

Hanger has called Church,
he signs to me.

I give him a nod, pick up the glass, and down the last of my Jack and Coke. I walk down the hall coming to the Chapel room.

Now that Bear, Hanger, and Romeo all know how to sign, communicating is getting easier. I’m glad that they wanted to learn for me. Before Hanger brought Crazy Girl here, it was all writing, no one, not even I, knew how to sign. I think her paying attention and caring enough to teach me made me form a little crush on her. That is, until I met Ever. Then my heart was gone from the moment I laid eyes on her. They may look exactly the same, but when you’re around them enough, you know the difference, and Ever was the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my entire life. What Crazy Girl did for me though, that made us form a bond, a special one at that, and I’d do anything for her. We had a rough go there for awhile, but I think we have made it through.