Nightingales Under the Mistletoe (32 page)

‘So what happened?' The other girl's mouth firmed into an obstinate line, and Jess sighed. ‘Look, I'm not having a go at you. But if you don't tell me the truth, I can't help you.'

Suddenly Sarah was defensive again, her shoulders taut, hackles rising. ‘I'm not asking you for help. Just like I didn't ask you to come round here, bringing your clothes and your food parcels and everything else. I can manage by myself, thanks very much.'

‘Fine. I'll leave you to it, then.' Jess was about to turn away when she saw the proud, defiant tilt to Sarah's chin. She recognised that look. She'd held herself like that many times, putting up a front so no one would know how scared she really was …

‘All you have to do is give the ring back,' she said gently. ‘I'm sure if you did Mrs Huntley-Osborne would—'

‘No!' Sarah's hand tightened into a defiant fist around the ring. ‘It's mine. Now I'll thank you to go,' she said stiffly.

‘But I want to help.'

‘I don't need your help, thank you very much. I managed without it before, and I'll manage again.'

Sarah closed the door in Jess's face before she could say any more.

Jess turned and walked away, annoyed with herself for blundering in. Sarah was right, it was none of her business. At any other time, she would have kept her nose right out of it.

Country life must have changed her, she decided. She'd turned into a busybody, just like everyone else in the village.

AFTER THE DANCE
finished at ten o'clock, Grace and Pearl stayed behind to clean up the village hall on Mrs Huntley-Osborne's instructions. As the band packed up for the night on the stage, they swept the floor, carefully packed away the leftover food and went round putting anything they could find into boxes for salvage.

‘You get off, I can finish here,' Grace said, when the band had gone home.

‘Are you sure?' Pearl glanced towards the door. ‘I did promise my mum I'd be back by ten for the kids.'

‘Then go. It's fine, honestly. There isn't much more to do anyway. I've just got those paper chains to take down and we're all done.'

She surveyed the empty village hall, now looking rather forlorn with the lights and the music gone, and the refreshment table holding nothing more than empty plates and crumbs. It was sad to think it had been so full of life and colour and happiness just an hour ago.

She was up the ladder, unpinning the paper chains, when she heard the door open behind her. Thinking it was Pearl, she called out, ‘What's the matter? Did you forget something?'

‘Grace?'

She looked round so sharply she almost toppled off the ladder. Max was there in a second, standing below her, ready to break her fall.

‘Are you OK?' he asked, his blue eyes full of concern.

‘I'm fine, thank you. Just lost my balance for a minute.' She came down the ladder so that she was facing him. He was in his uniform, the slate-blue-coloured fabric taut across his chest and broad shoulders. All Grace's senses instantly flared into full alert at the sight of him, but she fought for control. ‘What do you want?'

Max didn't answer her. Instead he nodded towards the ladder. ‘Do you want me to get the rest of those decorations down for you?'

‘There's no need, I can manage.'

‘You don't have to manage when I'm here.'

She watched as he climbed the ladder. She knew she should move but she couldn't tear herself away. This was dangerous. All her senses were crying out, warning her. But she was deaf to them. She was willing to risk everything just for one more minute spent looking at him …

A moment later he was down again, his arms full of paper chains. As she went to take them, their eyes met. Warmth kindled in Max's blue gaze and she suddenly knew what was going to happen next.

‘Grace,' he started to say, but she cut him off.

‘I expect Mrs Huntley-Osborne will want to keep these for salvage.' She shifted her gaze to stare down at the paper chains in her arms as if they were the centre of her world.

‘Grace, I need to talk to you.'

‘I'll fetch a box. I'm sure I saw one in the caretaker's room.'

She started to move away but he grabbed her arm, holding her back. ‘Grace, you can't keep walking away from me!'

Oh, yes, I can, she wanted to say. I can keep walking and walking and never stop, if it means keeping my family safe and happy. But at the same time she felt herself pinned to the spot, unable to move.

‘What do you want?' she whispered.

She wished she hadn't asked the question. She didn't want to hear what he had to say, because she had a dreadful feeling that it would change everything.

And she didn't want anything to change. She wanted the world to go on just as it always had, with her family at the centre of it and Grace always looking out for them, taking care of them.

Max looked down at his hands, suddenly bashful. ‘I've just found out we're flying in the morning,' he said quietly.

Grace's heart hitched, as it always did when she learned Max was flying. She knew it was wrong, that she had no right to feel as worried as she did. But all the same, she could never rest until she knew he was safe again.

She told herself it was nothing more than the concern of one friend for another, but in her heart she knew it was more than that.

‘It feels different this time,' Max went on. ‘I don't know why … but I didn't want to leave without telling you how I feel. Just in case …' The rest of his words hung unspoken in the air between them.

Don't say it, Grace begged silently. Don't say anything. Then everything could stay as it was and everyone would be happy. There was no need to turn everyone's world upside down because of a few stupid feelings.

‘I'm not good with words, but you know what I'm trying to say, don't you? God knows, I've not been very good at hiding it these past few weeks!' He smiled ruefully.

Grace couldn't speak. Her throat was so constricted every breath suddenly seemed painful, torn from her chest. She stared helplessly at him, eyes fixed on his mouth. His perfect mouth …

‘I love you, Grace.' He was smiling at her, not caring that he was throwing her carefully ordered world into chaos. ‘I've loved you from the moment I saw you in your yard on Christmas Day, clutching that stupid goose carcass to your chest—'

‘No!' She cut him off, shaking her head as if she could shake his words out of it. ‘You can't!'

It made no sense. Of course she had noticed Max, been aware of his every move, his every breath. But for him to notice her – it was impossible.

It was all a dream, she decided. In a moment she would wake up and everything would be back to normal and she wouldn't be standing here, her throat dry and her heart pounding like a sledgehammer against her ribs.

‘I can't help it,' said Max. ‘I never expected it to happen to me. This was just another posting, another tour of duty before I went back home. But then I met you, and …' He shook his head. ‘I've wanted to tell you this for a long time, but I could never find the right moment. You were always so busy, running around everywhere, looking after everyone else. But I think you feel it too, don't you?' he said, his earnest gaze meeting hers. ‘I can see it in your face when you look at me.'

He reached for her but Grace backed away, colliding with the wall. ‘What about Daisy?' she said. Just saying her sister's name felt wrong.

Max's face fell. ‘Daisy is a sweet girl, but I just don't feel that way about her. I haven't been able to think of her in that way, not since the day I met you. I can't help it,' he said, his voice ragged. ‘I didn't want this to happen, truly I didn't. I wouldn't have hurt her for the world, but—'

He gestured helplessly, wanting her to understand. Grace believed him. The anguish on his face told her he was speaking the truth.

‘Daisy loves you,' she said flatly. ‘It would hurt her so much if she knew about this.'

‘So what am I supposed to do? Spend the rest of my life pretending to care for someone else, when all I want is to be with you? Don't you think that would hurt her more in the end?'

‘I – I don't know.' Grace didn't know anything any more. Her mind was whirling with a confusion of ideas and thoughts.

‘What if there was no Daisy?' Max said. ‘If there was no one but you and me, would you want me then?'

‘But there is, isn't there? That – that's an unfair question.'

‘I'm just asking you how you'd feel?'

She stared down, knowing if she looked into his eyes she would give herself away and all would be lost.

‘What's the point of asking me that?' she whispered. ‘There isn't just you and me, is there? And there can't be, not without my sister getting hurt.'

Max sighed. ‘I don't want to hurt anyone,' he insisted. ‘I never asked your sister to fall for me, any more than I wanted to fall for you. I certainly haven't encouraged her.'

‘Yes, you did!' Grace challenged him, suddenly angry. ‘You should have stopped seeing her if you didn't care about her.'

‘Then I wouldn't have had an excuse to see you, would I?'

Grace stared at him, caught between pity for her sister and the yearning of her own heart. As usual, concern for her family came first. ‘You used poor Daisy.'

Max shook his head. ‘I made it clear to her we were just friends. If you feel I did wrong then I'm sorry for it. But I was desperate.' He ran his hand through his thick fair hair.

‘I couldn't help myself. You understand that, don't you? Of course you do.' He answered his own question. ‘I can see it in your face. You're blaming me because you feel just as guilty about the way you feel.'

‘No,' Grace said, but she could feel the heat building inside her.

‘Stop lying to yourself.' He reached out for her. ‘You've spent so long doing what's right for other people, you've forgotten how to do anything for yourself.'

‘That's not true—'

But her protest was lost as Max suddenly moved forward. He trapped her face between his hands. She could feel the heat of his skin seconds before he kissed her.

The moment that perfect mouth touched hers, she was lost. His kiss was gentle at first, almost tentative, his lips barely meeting hers. Then he tilted his face, his blue gaze staring down at her, full of wonder.

‘Oh, Grace …'

She should have stopped it. All it needed from her was a word, a turn of the head to show his advances weren't welcome. But she was twenty-three and she had never been with a man, and she desperately wanted to know what it was like to kiss Max, just once, before she had to let him go for ever.

His strong arms went round her and she melted into his embrace, heat flooding through her.

So this was what it was like to kiss a man, she thought, before the dizzying sensations took her over, shutting out everything else.

Somewhere in the distance she heard the click of a door latch, but she was too lost in the moment to care, until a voice sliced through her befuddled senses with a loud, clear enquiry.

‘What's going on here?'

THE SOUND OF
her sister's voice was like a bucket of icy water poured over Grace's heated senses. She sprang away from Max, releasing him at once.

Daisy stood framed in the doorway, her face expressionless with shock. She looked like a lost little girl and suddenly all Grace wanted to do was to protect her.

‘It – it's not what you think,' she started to say, but Max interrupted her.

‘Grace, don't.' His voice was deep and calm and measured. He turned to Daisy. ‘I'm sorry, I never meant you to find out like this. I planned to talk to you, to explain everything …'

Daisy ignored him. Her eyes were fixed on her sister, cold and accusing. ‘How could you? How long has it been going on?' she demanded.

‘There's nothing going on,' Grace said, but the words sounded hollow, even to her.

Daisy laughed harshly. ‘Do you think I'm a fool?' She looked from one to the other. ‘I should have known you were up to something. All those private jokes, those sly little looks you kept giving each other when you thought I wasn't looking. You must have been laughing at me behind my back!'

‘I wasn't, truly.'

Max stepped in. ‘This is all my fault, it's nothing to do with Grace,' he said. ‘Your sister didn't encourage me. I've been the one chasing her, not the other way round.'

But it was as if he hadn't spoken. Daisy went on staring at Grace with cold contempt in her eyes. Grace had never seen her sister look at her with so much hatred before.

But then, she'd never betrayed her before.

‘I don't believe you,' Daisy said flatly. ‘She did this, not you. She's always been jealous of me. She saw how much you loved me and she wanted to ruin it.'

‘I don't love you, Daisy.'

Max's voice was gentle, but his words still had a devastating effect. Grace could feel her own heart breaking as she watched her sister's expression change from shock to disbelief before it finally crumpled in pain.

‘You'd better go,' she told Max quietly.

‘I'm not leaving you.'

‘Please,' Grace begged, her gaze still fixed on Daisy. ‘Just go. I need to look after my sister.'

Max looked from one girl to the other. ‘I'll come and see you tomorrow, when we get back. We'll sort this out.'

‘No, don't.' Grace stared at him, willing him to understand.

His expression faltered. He opened his mouth to argue but the fight seemed to go out of him. ‘I see,' he said heavily. Once again, his gaze shifted to Daisy, still standing as if frozen in the doorway, then back at Grace. ‘You know where I am, if you need me.'