Nights with Uncle Remus (43 page)

“ ‘Ki, B'er Lion! I no know da Pa'tridge is so bahd lak dat. I t'ink 'e fly way un no hu't-a you. Shuh-shuh! wun I see dem Pa'tridge I mus' git 'pon turrer side fer keep me hide whole.'

“Da Lion, 'e groan, 'e moan, 'e cry. B'er Rabbit, 'e say:

“ ‘Da Pa'tridge, 'e berry bahd; 'e mus' bin borry da Buckra Man gun.'

“Da Lion, 'e groan, 'e cry:

“ ‘ 'E no da Pa'tridge no'n 'tall. Da Buckra Man is bin stan' way off un shoot-a me wit' 'e gun. Ow, ma Lord!'

“B'er Rabbit, 'e h'ist 'e han'; 'e say:

“ ‘Wut I bin tell-a you, B'er Lion? Wut I bin tell you 'bout da Buckra Man? Da Pa'tridge no hu't-a you lak dis. 'E mek-a da big fuss, but 'e no hu't-a you lak dis. Da Buckra Man, 'e no mek no fuss 'cep' 'e p'int 'e gun at you—
bang!
' ”

“And what then?” the little boy asked, as Daddy Jack collapsed in his seat, seemingly forgetful of all his surroundings.

“No'n 'tall,” replied the old African, somewhat curtly.

“De p'ints er dat tale, honey,” said Uncle Remus, covering the brusqueness of Daddy Jack with his own amiability, “is des 'bout lak dis, dat dey aint no use er dodgin' w'iles dey's a big fuss gwine on, but you better take'n hide out w'en dey aint no racket; mo' speshually w'en you see Miss Sally lookin' behine de lookin'-glass fer dat ar peach-lim' w'at she tuck'n make me kyar up dar day 'fo' yistiddy; yit w'en she fine it don't you git too skeer'd, kaze I tuck'n make some weak places in dat ar switch, en Miss Sally won't mo'n strak you wid it 'fo' hit 'll all come onjinted.”

Parts of this moral the little boy understood thoroughly, for he laughed, and ran to the big-house, and not long afterwards the light went out in Uncle Remus's cabin; but the two old negroes sat and nodded by the glowing embers for hours afterwards, dreaming dreams they never told of.

LVIII

“Uncle Remus,” said the little boy, one night shortly after Daddy Jack's story of the lion's sad predicament “mamma says there are no lions in Georgia, nor anywhere in the whole country.”

“Tooby sho'ly not, honey; tooby sho'ly not!” exclaimed Uncle Remus. “I dunner who de name of goodness bin a-puttin' dat kinder idee in yo' head, en dey better not lemme fine um out, needer, kaze I'll take en put Mars. John atter um right raw and rank, dat I will.”

“Well, you know Daddy Jack said that Brother Rabbit met the Lion coming down the road.”

“Bless yo' soul, honey! dat's way 'cross de water whar ole man Jack tuck'n come fum, en a mighty long time ergo at dat. Hit's a way off yan, lots furder dan Ferginny yit. We-all er on one side de water, en de lions en mos' all de yuther servigous creeturs, dey er on t'er side. Aint I never tell you how come dat?”

The little boy shook his head.

“Well,
sir!
I dunner w'at I bin doin' all dis time dat I aint tell you dat, kaze dat's whar de wussest kinder doin's tuck'n happen. Yasser! de wussest kinder doin's; en I'll des whirl in en gin it out right now 'fo' ole man Jack come wobblin' in.

“One time way back yonder, 'fo' dey wuz any folks afoolin' 'roun', Mr. Lion, he tuck'n tuck a notion dat he'd go huntin', en nothin' 'ud do 'im but Brer Rabbit must go wid 'im. Brer Rabbit, he 'low dat he up fer any kinder fun on top side er de groun'. Wid dat dey put out, dey did, en dey hunt en hunt clean 'cross de country.

“Mr. Lion, he'd lam aloose en miss de game, en den Brer Rabbit, he'd lam aloose en fetch it down. No sooner is he do dis dan Mr. Lion, he'd squall out:

“ ‘Hit's mine! hit's mine! I kilt it!'

“Mr. Lion sech a big man dat Brer Rabbit skeer'd ter 'spute 'long wid 'im, but he lay it up in he min' fer to git even wid 'im. Dey went on en dey went on. Mr. Lion, he'd lam aloose en miss de game, en ole Brer Rabbit, he'd lam aloose en hit it, en Mr. Lion, he'd take'n whirl in en claim it.

“Dey hunt all day long, en w'en night come, dey 'uz sech a fur ways fum home dat dey hatter camp out. Dey went on, dey did, twel dey come ter a creek, en w'en dey come ter dat, dey tuck'n scrape away de trash en built um a fire on de bank, en cook dey supper.

“Atter supper dey sot up dar en tole tales, dey did, en Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n brag 'bout w'at a good hunter Mr. Lion is, en Mr. Lion, he leant back on he yelbow, en feel mighty biggity. Bimeby, w'en dey eyeleds git sorter heavy, Brer Rabbit, he up'n 'low:

“ ‘I'm a monst'us heavy sleeper, Mr. Lion, w'en I gits ter nap-pin', en I hope en trus' I ain't gwine 'sturb you dis night, yit I got my doubts.'

“Mr. Lion, he roach he ha'r back outen he eyes, en 'low:

“ ‘I'm a monst'us heavy sleeper, myse'f, Brer Rabbit, en I'll feel mighty glad ef I don't roust you up in de co'se er de night.'

“Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n change his terbacker fum one side he mouf ter de yuther, he did, en he up'n 'low:

“ ‘Mr. Lion, I wish you be so good ez ter show me how you sno' des 'fo' you git soun' asleep.'

“Mr. Lion, he tuck'n draw in he breff sorter hard, en show Brer Rabbit; den Brer Rabbit 'low:

“ ‘Mr. Lion, I wish you be so good ez ter show me how you sno' atter you done git soun' asleep.'

“Mr. Lion, he tuck'n suck in he breff, en eve'y time he suck in he breff it soun' des lak a whole passel er mules w'en dey whinney atter fodder. Brer Rabbit look 'stonish'. He roll he eye en 'low;

“ ‘I year tell youer mighty big man, Mr. Lion, en you sho'ly is.'

“Mr. Lion, he hol' he head one side en try ter look 'shame', but all de same he aint feel 'shame'. Bimeby, he shot he eye en 'gun ter nod, den he lay down en stretch hisse'f out, en 'twan't long 'fo' he 'gun ter sno' lak he sno' w'en he aint sleepin' soun'.

“Brer Rabbit, he lay dar. He aint sayin' nothin'. He lay dar wid one year h'ist up en one eye open. He lay dar, he did, en bimeby Mr. Lion 'gun ter sno' lak he sno' w'en he done gone fas' ter sleep.

“W'en ole Brer Rabbit year dis, he git up fum dar, en sprinkle hisse'f wid de cole ashes 'roun' der fier, en den he tuck'n fling er whole passel der hot embers on Mr. Lion. Mr. Lion, he jump up, he did, en ax who done dat, en Brer Rabbit, he lay dar en kick at he year wid he behime foot, en holler
‘Ow!'

“Mr. Lion see de ashes on Brer Rabbit, en he dunner w'at ter think. He look all 'roun', but he aint see nothin'. He drap he head en lissen, but he aint year nothin'. Den he lay down 'g'in en drap off ter sleep. Atter w'ile, w'en he 'gun ter sno' lak he done befo', Brer Rabbit, he jump up en sprinkle some mo' cole ashes on hisse'f, en fling de hot embers on Mr. Lion. Mr. Lion jump up, he did, en holler:

“ ‘Dar you is ag'in!'

“Brer Rabbit, he kick en squall, en 'low:

“ ‘You oughter be 'shame' yo'se'f, Mr. Lyon, fer ter be tryin' ter bu'n me up.'

“Mr. Lion hol' up he han's en des vow 'tain't him. Brer Rabbit, he look sorter jubous, but he aint say nothin'. Bimeby he holler out:

“ ‘Phewee! I smells rags a bu'nin'!'

“Mr. Lion, he sorter flinch, he did, en 'low:

“ ‘ 'Tain't no rags, Brer Rabbit; hit's my ha'r a sinjin'.'

“Dey look all 'roun', dey did, but dey aint see nothin' ner nobody. Brer Rabbit he say he gwine do some tall watchin' nex' time, kaze he boun' ter ketch de somebody w'at bin playin' dem kinder pranks on um. Wid dat, Mr. Lion lay down 'g'in, en 'twan't long 'fo' he drap ter sleep.

“Well, den,” continued Uncle Remus, taking a long breath, “de ve'y same kinder doin's tuck'n happen. De cole ashes fall on Brer Rabbit, en de hot embers fall on Mr. Lion. But by de time Mr. Lion jump up, Brer Rabbit, he holler out:

“ ‘I seed um, Mr. Lion! I seed um! I seed de way dey come fum 'cross de creek! Dey mos' sho'ly did!'

“Wid dat Mr. Lion, he fetch'd a beller en he jumped 'cross de creek. No sooner is he do dis,” Uncle Remus went on in a tone at once impressive and confidential, “no sooner is he do dis dan Brer Rabbit cut de string w'at hol' de banks togedder, en, lo en beholes, dar dey wuz!”

“What was, Uncle Remus?” the little boy asked, more amazed than he had been in many a day.

“Bless yo' soul, honey, de banks! Co'se w'en Brer Rabbit tuck'n cut de string, de banks er de creek, de banks, dey fall back, dey did, en Mr. Lion can't jump back. De banks dey keep on fallin' back, en de creek keep on gittin' wider en wider, twel bimeby Brer Rabbit en Mr. Lion aint in sight er one er n'er, en fum dat day to dis de big waters bin rollin' 'twix um.”

“But, Uncle Remus, how could the banks of a creek be tied with a string?”

“I aint ax um dat, honey, en darfo' you'll hatter take um ez you git um. Nex' time de tale-teller come roun' I'll up'n ax 'im, en if you aint too fur off, I'll whirl in en sen' you wud, en den you kin go en see fer yo'se'f. But 'taint skacely wuth yo' wile fer ter blame me, honey, 'bout de creek banks bein' tied wid a string. Who put um dar, I be bless ef
I
knows, but I knows who onloose um, dat w'at I knows!”

It is very doubtful if this copious explanation was satisfactory to the child, but just as Uncle Remus concluded, Daddy Jack came shuffling in, and shortly afterwards both Aunt Tempy and 'Tildy put in an appearance, and the mind of the youngster was diverted to other matters.

LIX

After the new-comers had settled themselves in their accustomed places, and 'Tildy had cast an unusual number of scornful glances at Daddy Jack, who made quite a pantomime of his courtship, Uncle Remus startled them all somewhat by breaking into a loud laugh.

“I boun' you,” exclaimed Aunt Tempy, grinning with enthusiastic sympathy, “I boun' you Brer Remus done fine out some mo' er Brer Rabbit funny doin's; now I boun' you dat.”

“You hit it de fus clip, Sis Tempy, I 'clar ter gracious ef you aint. You nailed it! You nailed it,” Uncle Remus went on, laughing as boisterously as before, “des lak ole Brer Rabbit done.”

The little boy was very prompt with what Uncle Remus called his “inquirements,” and the old man, after the usual “hems” and “haws,” began.

“Hit run'd cross my min' des lak a rat 'long a rafter, de way ole Brer Rabbit tuk'n done Brer Fox. 'Periently, atter Brer Rabbit done went en put a steeple on top er he house, all de yuther creeturs wanter fix up dey house. Some put new cellars und' um, some slapped on new winderblines, some one thing and some er n'er, but ole Brer Fox, he tuck a notion dat he'd put some new shingles on de roof.

“Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n year tell er dis, en nothin'd do but he mus' rack roun' en see how ole Brer Fox gittin' on. W'en he git whar Brer Fox house is, he year a mighty lammin' en a blam-min', en lo en beholes, dar 'uz Brer Fox settin' straddle er de comb er de roof nailin' on shingles des hard ez he kin.

“Brer Rabbit cut he eye 'roun' en he see Brer Fox dinner settin' in de fence-cornder. Hit 'uz kivered up in a bran new tin pail, en it look so nice, dat Brer Rabbit mouf 'gun ter water time he see it, en he 'low ter hisse'f dat he bleedz ter eat dat dinner 'fo' he go 'way fum dar.

“Den Brer Rabbit tuck'n hail Brer Fox, en ax 'im how he come on. Brer Fox 'low he too busy to hol' any confab. Brer Rabbit up en ax 'im w'at is he doin' up dar. Brer Fox 'low dat he puttin' roof on he house 'gin de rainy season sot in. Den Brer Rabbit up en ax Brer Fox w'at time is it, en Brer Fox, he 'low dat hit's wukkin time wid him. Brer Rabbit, he up en ax Brer Fox ef he aint stan' in needs er some he'p. Brer Fox, he 'low he did, dat ef he does stan' in needs er any he'p, he dunner whar in de name er goodness he gwine to git it at.

“Wid dat, Brer Rabbit sorter pull he mustarsh, en 'low dat de time wuz w'en he 'uz a mighty handy man wid a hammer, en he aint too proud fer to whirl in en he'p Brer Fox out'n de ruts.

“Brer Fox 'low he be mighty much erblige, en no sooner is he say dat dan Brer Rabbit snatched off he coat en lipt up de ladder, en sot in dar en put on mo' shingles in one hour dan Brer Fox kin put on in two.

“Oh, he 'uz a rattler—ole Brer Rabbit wuz,” Uncle Remus exclaimed, noticing a questioning look in the child's face. “He 'uz a rattler, mon, des ez sho' ez youer settin' dar. Dey want no kinder wuk dat Brer Rabbit can't put he han' at, en do it better dan de nex' man.

“He nailed on shingles plum twel he git tired, Brer Rabbit did, en all de time he nailin', he study how he gwine git dat dinner. He nailed en he nailed. He 'ud nail one row, en Brer Fox 'ud nail n'er row. He nail'd en he nail'd. He kotch Brer Fox en pass 'im—kotch 'im en pass 'im, twel bimeby wiles he nailin' 'long, Brer Fox tail git in he way.

“ ‘Brer Rabbit 'low ter hisse'f, he did, dat he dunner w'at de name er goodness make folks have such long tails fer, en he push it out de way. He aint no mo'n push it out'n de way, 'fo' yer it come back in de way. Co'se,” continued Uncle Remus, beginning to look serious, “w'en dat's de case dat a soon man lak Brer Rabbit git pester'd in he min', he bleedz ter make some kinder accidents some'rs.

“Dey nail'd en dey nail'd, en, bless yo' soul! 'twa'n't long 'fo' Brer Fox drap eve'ything en squall out:

“ ‘Laws 'a' massy, Brer Rabbit! You done nail my tail. He'p me, Brer Rabbit, he'p me! You done nail my tail!'