Nikhil (Kaliszian Book 1) (19 page)

"I... yes," she said, her breath catching at his gentle caress.

"What does it mean?" he asked, his eyes glowing softly into hers.

"It is normally a gesture of courtesy or respect between diplomats, people in government, or royalty."

"And the kissing of the palm," he asked, turning her hand over placing another soft kiss there.

"It's more intimate, caring, given only to someone you love or care a great deal about."

"You have done this before?" he questioned and tried not to be upset when he could see she had.

"Yes, with my grandpa."

"Grandpa." Nikhil frowned, hating that he did not understand the word.

"My manno's manno," she told him, realizing not all the words she was using translated into Kaliszian. "He was ill... dying. I sat beside him. Held his hand." She reversed their hands. "And did this." She tipped her head into his hand and lovingly kissed his palm.

"It is full of affection, of devotion. It even feels comforting," he said in a hushed tone.

"Yes, because that's what I felt for him. He raised me after my manno died and my mother abandoned me."

"Your mother did what?" It was then that Nikhil realized he knew very little about his Mackenzie. Oh, he knew what had happened to her but nothing about her life before that.

"She fell apart after my manno died and could barely function. I was only six, and she couldn't deal with it and me."

"When did she return?"

"She never did. It was just me and grandpa until he died. Then it was just me."

"You were forced to survive on your own?" That explained a great deal.

"I guess you could say that, but it wasn't like I was thrown out onto the street. I still had my mountain."

"Mountain... you mean...”

"Mountain," she told him firmly. "My grandpa's family has had the honor of caring for it for centuries."

"You cared for land? For the creatures and life it supported?"

"Yes. We ran a guide business on it."

"Guide business?"

"Earth has a very diverse society. Some live in large cities, some live in smaller towns, and some live in the country. Many like to go to places and spend time where no one lives. Grandpa and I would take them there on our mountain."

"You would... escort groups around your land?"

"Yes, it was what I was doing when the Ganglians found us."

Nikhil silently stared at her for a moment, realizing that his True Mate was a leader of people and a caretaker of the land. She was amazing, and he wanted to know more. "Tell me more."

"About kissing? I don't know what else to tell you. We kiss friends and family members on the cheek."

"We do this too... but only with females." He waited for her to continue.

"So I suppose now you want to know about kissing on the lips."

"I would," he said carefully. "The males you have kissed...”

"There were only two."

"Two.”

"Yes."

"They were... special to you?"

"One was. I thought... well it doesn't matter what I thought, and the other, it was just a first kiss."

"First kiss," he repeated.

"Yes. I liked him. We went out on a date, and when it ended, we kissed goodnight on the lips. It is a common way to end a date. It wasn't the same way I kissed you."

"In what way?"

"It was closed lips."

"Closed...” Nikhil thought back to how her tongue had caressed his and was relieved that it wasn't something she had shared with one not special to her. It made him think. "So what is it that you do share with a male that is special to you?"

"I... that...” Mac found herself blushing.

"Mackenzie," Nikhil frowned at her reaction. "What is wrong? Why won't you tell me?"

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just something that isn't normally talked about on Earth. We just know, like you do with kissing."

"But I don't know."

"I know... You said you had received... friendship from females before."

"Yes." Nikhil frowned at her. What did that have to do with anything?

"How old were you the first time?"

"I was still in my training. She...”

"I don't want to hear about it!" she cut him off, jerking her hand from his.

"Mackenzie, why are you so upset with who I have joined with?"

"Why were you so upset with who I've kissed?!!" she fired back.

"But they aren't the same thing."

"No, they’re not."

"I... are you saying that for you... a male and female joining is the most intimate act for your people."

"Not for all, but for me... yes."

"Oh, so how many males have you been...”

"None, alright? None." She rolled away from him, meaning to get out of bed only to find herself suddenly flat on her back, with Nikhil straddling her thighs and her wrists being pulled over her head.

"I would be your first?" he asked quietly, his eyes searching hers and saw it was true. The feeling it gave him knowing that not only would he be her first but her only, had him hardening with need and desire.

"Yes," she whispered, looking up at him. While he straddled her low on her thighs, he wasn't resting his weight on them or making her feel restricted. It was more like he was corralling them, allowing her to move but only so much. She also didn't feel overwhelmed by his massive size looming over her. He was so much larger than her that while her arms were stretched out, his were barely extended.

"This is what you were offering me earlier today, the one thing you had gifted to no other, and I was more concerned about kissing."

"You didn't know."

"I do now." His gaze traveled over her face, a face that was growing more beautiful to him every time he looked at it. "Do you still offer that to me, Mackenzie? That thing most sacred to you, that thing you can only give once, the one that would make you mine and only mine?" He watched as uncertainty filled her eyes and felt his heart clench. Did she no longer wish to give him her most sacred gift? "Mackenzie?"

"You don't see it that way. You...”

"You think I don't value what is sacred to you?" he asked quietly, bringing his face closer to hers. "What you have offered to no other male? I do, Mackenzie, because I offered the same thing to you with my first kiss."

"So we will be each other’s first, in our own way, even if it's not our culture's way."

"Yes."

"Then kiss me, Nikhil. I want to experience that incredible feeling again."

"Oh, I plan on kissing you, my Mackenzie, all of you." His eyes searched hers. "Are you alright with that?"

"As long as I get the chance to do the same thing," she countered and saw his glowing eyes flare slightly. "Why are you holding my wrists?"

"Because you challenge my control when you touch me." Shifting his grip, so both of her delicate wrists were now in one hand, he allowed his other to trail down her arm. He hated the way the sleeve of his storm covering prevented him from reaching her smooth, silky skin, but he could still feel her warmth and the slightest of tremors. "Am I frightening you, Mackenzie?"

"No," she whispered, surprised to find it was true. She'd never expected that, not after the way the Zaludians had restrained her. But this was Nikhil, and this was different.

Nikhil nodded, then allowed his hand to continue its journey down along her collarbone and the edge of the covering where it met her neck. He wanted to grip the covering and rip it away, exposing her beautiful skin, but knew it was impossible even with his great strength, for the material was made to survive in the harshest of conditions. It was impenetrable to anything but the sharpest of blades.

Knowing there was only one way to remove it, he allowed his hand to continue exploring her form, cupping the small, firm breast the material so perfectly molded. He loved the way it seemed to welcome his touch and how the dusty rose nipple he'd seen in the shower was pebbling up through the material, begging for more.

Lowering his head, he gave it more, sucking the taut nipple deep into his mouth through the material and flicking it with his tongue. Slowly pulling away, he kept the nipple in his mouth for as long as he could, his tongue circling it until finally it popped out from between his lips.

The corner of his mouth jerked into a small, arrogant, self-satisfied smile hearing his Mackenzie moan and seeing the wet mark his mouth had left on her breast. He wanted it on her skin.

While his mouth was teasing her nipple, his hand moved down over her lower abdomen, his fingers spreading out to massage the firm flesh he found there. Knowing there was still more to discover, his hand moved along the outside of her thigh, and finally he reached warm, silky, bare skin. Lifting his gaze to hers, he watched her carefully as his hand slid up her thigh, his calloused thumb running along the softer inner skin, taking the fabric with it. Reaching the juncture between her thighs, he veered off, sliding the covering up and over one hip.

"Nikhil...”

"Patience, Little One. I told you I wanted to kiss all of you. Leave your hands over your head." His gaze was filled with promise as he waited for her nod of agreement. When she gave it, he slowly released her wrists and his second hand slid down her body until it reached the other side of her covering and pulled it up. Her hips instinctively lifted and the covering settled around her waist.

Shifting his weight, he slid first one of his legs and then the other between hers, forcing them apart. Lowering himself onto his elbows, he nudged a leg over each one of his wide shoulders as his hands slid under and around them, opening her fully to his gaze.

"Goddess, you are beautiful, Mackenzie," he whispered, gazing at her glistening, wet folds. She truly was a goddess, his goddess, and he was going to treat her like one. Using his thumbs, he parted her dark curls until he revealed her pleasure nub, then lowering his mouth worshiped at it.

Mac knew Nikhil wanted her to keep her hands over her head, but she just couldn't. She wanted to do more than just feel Nikhil's touch. She wanted to see him touching her. Propping herself up on her elbows, she watched him settle between her legs and couldn't believe how arousing it was.

She'd never believed the stories other women had told about how excited and turned on they could get when their boyfriends touched them. It hadn't been that way for her and Chase. It had always seemed awkward and embarrassing to her. She'd had to consciously force herself to relax whenever he touched her, and normally closed her eyes. She had wondered what was wrong with her. Now she knew nothing was, it wasn't her, it was Chase... he wasn't Nikhil.

The simplest of Nikhil's touches turned her on. When he did it with intent like now, he left her breathless with anticipation. When his eyes started to glow brighter, her heart pounded heavily and her channel clenched with need. Watching him now, touching her so intimately, his eyes glowed brighter than she'd ever seen, and it had her core throbbing with an incredible ache that she knew only he could ease. Her eyes widened when she saw him lower his head, then gasped when he began licking and sucking on her clit.

"Nikhil!" she cried out, her fingers digging into the bed to stop herself from touching him since she'd agreed not to.

Nikhil growled as Mackenzie's taste exploded on his tongue. Goddess, nothing had ever tasted as sweet or as perfect or as
his
before. At her cry, he lifted his glowing gaze to hers, while his mouth continued to suck on the small bundle of nerves. She'd moved, even though he'd told her not to, and they would discuss that later, but at least, she wasn't touching him. He didn't think he could control himself if she did. His shaft was already painfully swollen in the confines of his pants, and only his warrior's control kept him from releasing. He wanted to make sure she never regretted giving him this gift, that her first experience in joining was memorable because of the amount of pleasure he gave her, and not because he thought only of his own.

Shifting his arms, he wrapped one around her hips keeping them from rising as he continued to lavish her nub with attention while the other moved to explore her slick folds. Slowly he slipped a finger into her channel. He knew she would be small, for everything about her was small compared to him, but Goddess, not this small or tight.

He could feel the walls of her channel clenching tightly around his finger as he slowly began to work it in and out. How amazing would that feel wrapped around his shaft? Carefully, he added a second finger and felt her body’s instinctive resistance to the increase in size, but he continued to press, for as large as his two fingers were, his shaft was so much larger. Goddess, she was tight! Pressing as deeply as he could, he felt a barrier then froze when she gasped in pain.

"Mackenzie...” he lifted his mouth slightly, his gaze piercing hers. What was this? Why was it causing her pain?

"It's okay. It's my hymen. It's supposed to be painful the first time."

Nikhil frowned at that. He knew Kaliszian females had such a thing because he had sisters. He could still remember how his mother had cried and hugged each one the day they went in to be treated, stating that they were no longer just her female offspring but now truly female. It was done so they wouldn't experience pain when they first joined. Why hadn't Mackenzie's been treated? Was it not the way of her people? "Why?" he found himself asking.

"It's just the way it is. In our past, it was expected that a female would still have it when she married, found her Dasho or True Mate," she corrected. "It's not that way so much anymore because...”

"Because?"

"Because times have changed, and most males don't want to be a female's first. They find it an inconvenience, they want someone experienced, and...”

Nikhil growled at the thought that anyone would consider her innocence an
inconvenience
. It made him question why his parents had allowed his sisters to have theirs removed. While the thought of knowingly causing her pain was repulsive to him, the thought of knowing he was her first and her only, was indescribable.

"It is an honor to be your first, Mackenzie," he told her, then attacked her nub even more furiously knowing he had to bring her to release at least once, had to give her pleasure before breaking her barrier. Then he would give her even more pleasure, and she would be his forever.