No Apologies (7 page)

Annalise meandered along the downtown sidewalks, lost in thought, barely noticing where she was going or how wet she was getting. She hadn’t seen or heard from Gabe since he’d walked out of her apartment less than eight hours after telling her he loved her. She snorted. So much for love.

But it wasn’t Gabe she was angry at. No, she was mad at herself for believing him. For starting to trust him. For ignoring all the hard-learned lessons and warning signs that she’d gathered through the years.

No, it wasn’t Gabe’s fault that she’d put aside everything she knew and had started to fall for him. Had almost started to fall for him, she corrected herself, stepping off the curb to cross the street and narrowly missing a huge puddle as she did so. Seconds later, a car making a right hand turn hit the puddle and sprayed it all over her anyway.

Annalise ground her teeth in irritation. What had possessed her to walk to work this morning? She never walked to work. Never. So why today, of all days, had she chosen to start her campaign to get into shape with a mile-and-a-half walk to work?

Because she’d thought the walk would take her mind off Gabe, she admitted ruefully. Normally she loved downtown—all the people on the streets, all the cars honking and driving by in such a hurry. It was hard to concentrate on feeling sorry for herself when she was surrounded by so many other people doing so many different things.

But it hadn’t worked. Gabe was still front and center in her mind and it was driving her nuts. She’d worked too hard to bury her vulnerabilities in the last few years to backslide because some guy told her he loved her and then walked away. Could she be more of an idiot?

As she waited for the light to change so that she could cross yet another puddle-ridden street, a car pulled over right in front of her. Her heart sank to her knees when she realized it was a dark blue Acura.

“Need a ride?” Gabe asked as he rolled the window down. “You’re getting soaked.”

Getting soaked? She was soaked—all the way through to her bra and panties. Didn’t it figure that she’d see Gabe again when she looked as bad as it was humanly possible to look? What the hell had she done in a past life to deserve this kind of crappy karma?

She wanted to refuse, scared of what she might let slip on the ride home. But at the same time, she didn’t want him to think she was afraid of him. Didn’t want to let him know that he’d managed to hurt her, despite her best intentions to the contrary.

So she tossed her rain-soaked hair behind her shoulder and shrugged. “Sure.” He leaned over and opened the passenger door for her—always the gentleman—and she slid into the car. “I’m going to ruin your leather,” she commented as she closed the door.

“I doubt it,” he answered with a grin. “Cows get wet all the time.”

“Thanks for the ride. I decided today was as good a day as any to start getting into shape, so I walked to work.” She grimaced. “I should have checked the weather first.”

“It’s San Diego. Who actually checks the weather?”

Annalise grinned at him before she could stop herself. “Exactly.”

He looked her over, his eyes dark and approving despite her impersonation of a drowned rat. “Besides, you look great to me.”

She laughed. “Well, what woman doesn’t look great with mascara running down her face?”

See, this wasn’t too bad. She just needed to engage in a little harmless conversation until he got to her building and then she never had to see him again. Never had to wonder how he was doing.

What was left of her heart cracked wide open at the prospect. Damn it, when had she turned into such a girl? And how did she make it stop?

“I’ve missed you.” The words slipped out before she had a clue she’d been thinking them.

“What did you say?” Gabe glanced at her abruptly, those black-magic eyes of his dark with confusion.

She shrugged again, cursing herself. Then looked him straight in the eye and lied. “Nothing. Just rambling.”

He stopped at a light and silence stretched between them for a minute. “I missed you, too.”

“I could tell.” Shit, shit, shit. What was happening? Someone had hijacked her mouth and nothing was coming out the way she wanted it to. She was supposed to say something about how busy she’d been, about how she’d barely noticed he hadn’t called. What she wasn’t supposed to do was sound like a miserable, whiny little girl who wasn’t getting her way.

“Annalise.”

“Look, just forget it,” she said. She gestured to her building, less than a block ahead on the right. “Drop me here and you can make the turn for your place. Thanks for the ride.” She gathered up her briefcase and reached for the door handle.

But Gabe didn’t stop, not at the corner before his turn or even in front of her building. Instead he cruised down to the next street and made a left, heading out of downtown and away from where they both lived.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking you somewhere we can talk.”

“We are talking!” She knew she sounded panicked, but she couldn’t help it. Her defenses were too low for her to stand up to him for long. “I want to go home.”

“Tough.” He kept his eyes on the road and drove for about ten minutes before she realized where he was taking her.

“No, Gabe. I don’t want to go there.”

“Why not?”

“I just don’t.” He couldn’t take her to Coronado, to the small, secluded spot she had begun to think of as theirs. He just couldn’t.

But he ignored her protests, and didn’t say another word to her until he’d parked the car next to the private little cove they’d found two months previously. Before he could say anything, she asked, “So do you want to fuck me one last time? For old times’ sake?” She unfastened the first button on her sheer pink blouse, just to let him know how little she cared. “I don’t have much time, so we should probably get right to it.”

“Stop it!” He knocked her hand away. “I’m sick of games, Annalise. I’m sick of pretending that nothing that happens between us matters.”

“I’m just being honest, Gabe. Isn’t sex what you brought me here for?”

“You don’t know the first thing about honesty. You’re too busy proving how tough and unfeeling you are to let anyone see the real you.”

She pushed her wet hair out of her eyes, went nose to nose with him before she could think better of it. “This is the real me, Gabe. I’m sorry I don’t live up to your stupid expectations.”

He studied her for a minute, shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”

“Well, that’s your problem then. I never promised you a damn thing.”

“You’re right, you didn’t. I was just too stupid to realize it.” His mouth turned grim. “But things change. We’ve been playing this stupid one-upmanship game since the day we met. And it was fun for a while. But I want more from you now. I need more.”

“I’ve given you more than I’ve given anybody else. Why can’t that be enough?”

“Because it isn’t.”

His eyes held hers, and she realized that she was trapped, unable to look away. Unable to walk away. “I don’t have anything else to give,” she whispered.

“That’s bullshit. What you mean is there’s nothing else you will give.”

“Do you have to push?” She looked at him imploringly. “Can’t we just do this for a while?”

“What exactly do you want to do?” His eyes snapped fire at her as the tight leash he was keeping on his temper slipped.

“You know,” she shrugged, gesturing with her hands. “Do—”

“What?” Gabe demanded, before slamming out of the car.

“Do what?” he asked again as he came around to the passenger side and yanked her out of the car and into his arms.

“Do this?” He let her slide down his body, then turned her so that she was facing the car, her hands planted firmly on the hood. He pushed her pants and underwear down to her ankles with his right hand while he thrust the fingers of his left as far into her as he could go. As he found her G-spot and began to stroke he asked, in a voice made husky with desire, “Is this want you want to do for a while?”

She struggled against him, furious that he could make her want him with one stroke of a finger. But each movement she made brought him deeper, pressed him harder, made her wetter.

“Gabe, stop!” she demanded, her voice high and panicked as she moved restlessly against his hand. How could he turn her on so completely that she would fuck him right here, out in the open, while cold rain lashed at them from every direction? Where was her self-control? Where was her pride?

Leaning forward, he grazed her long, elegant neck with his lips while he used his free hand to fumble his belt and zipper out of the way. She felt his cock against her bare ass and couldn’t prevent her whimper any more than she could prevent the blind instinct that had her pressing back against him. Searching for completion and to hell with pride and everything else that was keeping them apart. She loved him and if this was all they could ever have, then so be it. Annalise cried out as he bent her over the hood of the car and surged inside of her with one powerful thrust of his hips.

She moaned deep in her throat and spread her legs, desperate to have him as deep inside of her as he could go. It had been a long few days without him, without anyone, and the relief of having Gabe inside her was totally overwhelming. She tried to speak, but couldn’t form words around the high, hungry sounds clawing their way out of her throat with each surge of his cock inside of her.

Reaching behind her, she raked her nails down his bare ass as she tried to pull him even closer. “Harder,” she finally managed to gasp. “Please. Harder.”

He heard her strangled gasps and responded with even more pressure, even harder thrusts until she feared he would rip her apart. But he felt so good and she’d missed him so much. She needed everything he could give her and more.

His left hand moved between her legs while his right one remained on the small of her back, keeping her bent forward for the best access. He spread her open, stroked the spot where they were joined as she pressed against him, desperate for release.

“Come on, Lissy. Come for me. Let me feel you, baby.” He reached for her clit, stroked his thumb over it once, twice, a third time. She shattered, screaming his name as he rode her through her orgasm. Wave after wave of sensation crashed through her, weakening her knees and sending slivers of electricity to every part of her body.

Her muscles clenched rhythmically, milking him with every contraction of her strong body. She felt him pull back, felt him as he fought his fast-approaching orgasm with everything he had. He wasn’t done yet, and she understood. She wasn’t ready for this one, perfect moment in time to end either.

Taking a couple of deep breaths through his mouth, he reached under her shirt to rub her nipples through her bra. “I can’t,” she gasped, pushing weakly against him. “No more, Gabe.”

“More,” he said, squeezing her nipple between his thumb and index finger, feeling her muscles clench around his cock in response. “There’s always more. I can’t get enough of you, Lissy. More and more and more.”