No Boundaries (7 page)

“Guess I’m still in the doghouse,” Gwen said, sounding amused.

Andi rubbed Zeek’s ears. “You smell good, Zeek. No bugs on you.”

The dog moaned again and Andi wasn’t sure if that was exasperation or pleasure.

Night had fallen, and the stars blanketed the sky like diamonds. The cool night air was a welcome reprieve from the heat of the day. It was a perfect evening. Andi couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed talking and listening to another person the way she had with Gwen. She knew most of the locals, but only in a superficial, neighborly kind of way. This seemed personal, like she was looking into a page of Gwen’s life, and the feeling made her want to know more. The thought unsettled her.

“Thank you for having me over tonight. I’ve really enjoyed the company,” Andi said, thinking it was time for her to go.

“I should be thanking you. I love working on the house, but I guess I’ve been a little lonely. It’s good not to eat alone. And I wanted to make up for my earlier behavior. I’m afraid I gave the impression of being a bit too eager when I asked you out. But I could really use a friend. I really wanted to get to know you, and tonight was perfect.”

Andi regarded Gwen for a moment, very aware of how tender her voice was. Gwen wasn’t at all what she had expected. She had convinced herself Gwen was cocky and looking for a fast hookup, but tonight Gwen had been different. She was confident and self-assured, but not arrogant. She seemed warm and open and something about her made Andi feel safe. She watched Gwen’s smooth gestures as she lifted the beer to her lips and took a drink. Andi stared at a bead of the golden liquid clinging to her lips and watched as her lips parted and her tongue moved across the surface to wick away the moisture.

“I’ve enjoyed it,” she said, realizing it was true. “I should be going though—Zeek here is looking a bit tired.”

“Are you sure? I think there’s another beer left, if you’d like to stay a while longer.”

Andi hesitated, hearing only sincerity in Gwen’s voice. “I appreciate it, but I should call it a night. I’m already over my two-beer limit.” Andi lifted Zeek’s head and pushed back her chair as she stood. “It really was a nice night. Thank you.”

Gwen followed Andi through the house and out to her Jeep. “Are you okay to drive?”

Andi turned to face Gwen, her hand resting on the top of the small half door of the Jeep. She looked up the street and considered her options.

“Well, I could walk home, but then I’d have to retrieve my Jeep tomorrow, and the neighbors would have a scandal brewing by morning. Or I can just take it easy. I only live one mile from here, and I’m sure I’m okay to drive. I only had three beers in”—Andi looked at her watch—“oh my goodness, four hours,” she said, surprised by the time. “How did it get so late?”

Gwen was still smiling at her. “Well, if you’re sure you’re okay.” She placed her hand over Andi’s for a brief moment, her fingers brushing across Andi’s skin, a featherlight touch that made Andi shudder. Andi’s eyes drifted to Gwen’s lips, which were slightly parted, and she imagined how they would taste.

“I promise I’m okay,” Andi said, drawing her hand away. “Thank you again for dinner.”

“You’re welcome. Have a good night,” Gwen said, taking a step back from the Jeep.

*

Andi could barely make out Gwen’s silhouette standing at the end of the drive as she looked back through her rearview mirror. But she could tell Gwen was watching her drive away. She rubbed her fingertips across the back of her hand, savoring the feel of Gwen’s touch against her skin. It had only been a moment, but she had trembled at the connection. She had felt the heat melt into her own skin, and she realized they had touched only twice the entire night. Gwen had more than kept to her promise—dinner, friendly conversation—and regret needled at Andi. A gentle prick had started at the back of her mind, and something within her knew she would continue to crave Gwen’s closeness.

What am I doing? Andi sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She was confused. Her life was too complicated to even entertain thoughts of Gwen, but here she was, letting fantasies and images flood her mind. She had known better than to come tonight, but she didn’t know how to keep pushing Gwen away.

The next morning, Andi tightened the straps of her PFD and walked her paddleboard into the water. The sun was just beginning to crest over the mountain, and the sounds of morning stirred in the air as the birds sang out like the voices of angels.

She loved the lake in the morning. The water was so still it was like glass. Not many boats were out this early, and she had the lake to herself for the most part. Holding the paddle firmly in her hands, she focused on the feel of her stroke, keeping her balance centered over the board as she focused on the glide of the flat craft across the water.

Thoughts of Gwen had played through her mind all night, and she had slept restlessly. Even now images of Gwen swept across her vision. She could conjure the perfect image of Gwen’s lips, the glint in her eyes when she laughed, the subtle way she gestured with her hands when she talked. It seemed Andi had memorized every movement of Gwen’s body, and now her own invented new thoughts of what it would be like to touch her, to hold her long lean form next to her and taste her sweetness on her tongue.

Andi pushed her board through the water with increasing effort as she tried to use the rhythm of her body and the stroke of the paddle to calm the restlessness she felt growing under her skin. She focused on the lake, allowing the smooth surface and gentle lap of the water to sooth her. She drew in a deep breath of the fresh mountain air, trying to clear the restlessness from her mind.

It wasn’t unusual for her to have difficulty sleeping. She often welcomed the dawn, anxiously waiting to shed the weight of memories that haunted her each night. But last night had been different. She wasn’t running from fear or hurt, she was running from the stirring within her that craved the closeness of a woman.

That was a pain she couldn’t flirt with. Women had been both the nectar of life and the kiss of death for her. As sweet as the beginning heat could be, the pain at the end would be too much. For the first time in months, Andi thought of JC. They had been lovers for two years, and JC had made it clear from the beginning that her job was more important to her than Andi. And when Andi had really needed her, when she was in real trouble, JC had turned her back on her. That was a pain she still couldn’t put to rest and something she didn’t think she could survive again.

As Andi turned into one of the many coves that made up the intricate pattern of the lake, a great blue heron took flight in front of her, its giant wings gliding gracefully as it maneuvered its long, stork-like body no more than a foot or two above the water, the tips of its wings brushing lightly across the surface.

Andi shifted her weight and slowly lowered herself until she was sitting on the board. Giving in to her fatigue, she lay back and gazed up into an endless blue sky. The sun was fully up now, and the brilliant, cloudless sky reminded her of the tender blue of Gwen’s eyes and the way they made her feel as if they looked into her soul.

Andi closed her eyes for a moment as if she could shut out the image her mind had conjured. She didn’t quite know what to think of her new preoccupation with Gwen Palmer. She hadn’t entertained thoughts of a woman in so long, she had thought she would never again crave that closeness. She had chosen solitude and had committed herself to a single life. It was easier that way, less complicated, safer.

Andi thought over her life. In all her relationships, she had never really been loved in return. It seemed she always found herself with people who didn’t want to accept her past, or life would intervene and pull them apart before any real feelings could surface. Her thoughts drifted to Melissa, and a terrible pain ripped through her chest. No. She wouldn’t think of that time in her life. She pushed the memories aside and swore at herself for her weakness.

Since meeting Gwen, she had grown restless and the once-peaceful solitude had become too still, too quiet. But she wasn’t ready to open up her heart again. She wasn’t ready to trust someone enough to try. Her brain felt heavy as too many thoughts warred in her mind at once. Nothing had happened last night. Gwen hadn’t said or done anything throughout their evening together to suggest anything other than friendship. The thing that troubled her was that she had been disappointed that Gwen had kept her word. But it was for the best. Gwen was her ultimate dream woman, the perfect combination of softness and strength, confidence and empathy, and Andi knew just how dangerous that was for her. And maybe more important, just how dangerous it could be for Gwen. As much as she needed to protect her own heart, she wouldn’t risk another person she cared about. And that meant staying away.

Andi’s arms were heavy and tired from the workout, and her core muscles began to protest from fatigue as she made her way to shore. She stored her gear and carried the paddleboard to the Jeep, securing it tightly to the roll bars above her head. It was a familiar pattern. Most of the summer, the board would remain tied to the roof with almost daily trips to the lake.

Andi sighed as she sat in the old Jeep, looking out over the lake. She had her answers. Her memories had resurfaced to remind her that she couldn’t afford to complicate her life by getting involved. They would both only end up getting hurt.

*

Gwen slid into her now-familiar spot at the counter of the coffee shop and breathed in the soothing aromas of fresh coffee and bacon. “Good morning, Glenda.”

“Good morning, Gwen. Be right with you, sweetie. The usual?”

“You bet. How’s Pria?” Gwen had quickly established herself among the local morning chatter and loved the way the people of the little town had opened up to her.

“Oh, she’s fine. Nothing keeps her down for long.”

“Well, that’s good.”

Glenda smiled as she set a steaming cup of coffee in front of Gwen and went to clear off a recently vacated table.

Gwen inclined her head to an older gentleman at the end of the counter, slowly turning his cup back and forth between his large weatherworn hands. His big white cowboy hat and old faded overalls were a familiar sight. “Hey, Ward. How’s Millie?”

The old man looked up from the cup he had been peering into and smiled, a Santa Claus twinkle lighting up his eyes.

“Good. Real good. Slept easy last night. That girl that helps out came by early this mornin’. She’s looking after her now.”

His eyes clouded again after a minute and he went back to staring into his cup. Gwen’s heart went out to the old man. Through the diner chatter she had learned that Ward’s wife was suffering with Parkinson’s disease, and Ward was her primary caregiver—although he usually seemed hardly able to care for himself.

Glenda passed by and stopped to top off Gwen’s coffee, bringing her back to the present. Gwen pondered the list of things she needed to work on this week and dreaded the daunting task of clearing the front yard of some of the debris. The front yard was a partially unearthed slab of rock that made it impossible to landscape. She had also noticed the one plant that did grow around the stone was poison ivy. Knowing she could rouse some advice around the diner, she opened up the topic to Glenda.

“Hey, Glenda, do you know anyone locally who does landscaping?”

Glenda turned to look at her. “What kind of landscaping?”

“Well, I need someone to help me figure out what to do with that giant rock in my front yard. I haven’t got a clue what to do with it, and right now it’s just an eyesore.”

“Well, for that kind of stuff, I’d recommend Andi. She has the best gardens in town. But I don’t know if she does any work for hire—you could ask her though, here she comes now.”

Gwen couldn’t help but look over her shoulder toward the door when she heard the familiar chime. Every head in the room turned to see who had arrived.

Gwen’s heart skipped as she watched Andi stride through the door.

“Mornin’, Andi.” Glenda called from the counter. “Were your ears burning?”

“No. Should they be?” Andi answered with a smile.

Gwen watched as more than one of the men at the counter got up to pat Andi on the back, shake her hand, and say a word or two. Even old William McGuire was friendly with Andi, and Gwen had never heard him say two words to anyone else. He would mostly offer a slight nod or a grunt to Glenda if he wanted more coffee, but that had been the extent of it.

Andi seemed to bring out the best in everyone.

When Andi finally made it to the counter, Gwen smiled and said hello.

Andi nodded and smiled in return but didn’t say anything, and Gwen noticed the absence of the warmth she had seen in Andi’s eyes over dinner.

“So what were you saying, Glenda? Who’s been talking about me?”

“Well, Gwen here was asking if I knew anyone who could help her landscape that old rock in front of her house. I recommended you and told her she should ask you to help, but I didn’t know if you would take on the job.”

“Oh.” Andi’s smile faltered. After a moment she looked to Gwen again. “That’s a tough one. That old rock probably covers most of the property. Sorry, Gwen, but I don’t think I’m the right person for the job.”

Gwen was disappointed. “Oh well, I guess I can just look through the listings. Maybe one of the nurseries can help.” Gwen shrugged, letting the issue go. The distance she felt from Andi seemed foreign to her after the evening they had shared. Why the change? Would she and Andi have to go through this breaking-the-ice every time they were together?

The silence seemed to drag on as Andi waited for her coffee and Gwen sat staring into her cup. The longer Andi waited the more unease she felt. She was being deliberately distant and that wasn’t fair to Gwen. She had to find a way to be around Gwen without letting her hormones take over or turning into Cruella De Vil. Surely she could be friendly with Gwen. It was just a crush. In time she wouldn’t feel so out of sorts around her.

“You know, I could give the yard a look and draw some ideas up for you, but you would probably still have to hire out some of the work.”

“That’s okay,” Gwen said, no warmth in her voice, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m sure you have enough to do without trying to figure out my mess.”

Andi knew she should take the out that had been offered, but she found she just couldn’t say no to those heart-melting blue eyes. And the look of disappointment she had seen flash across Gwen’s face made her feel guilty.

“I can drop off some sketches in a few days, if that’s okay? I’ll need to stop by and look things over first.”

“Really, Andi, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this.”

“It won’t be a problem as long as you don’t mind giving me a while. Are you in a hurry?”

“No, just trying to set things up so I don’t get in the habit of procrastinating and find myself avoiding the tasks I’m not good at.”

“It’s settled then.”

Gwen’s smile didn’t reach her eyes, and Andi felt a stab of pain. It was the first time she had seen Gwen so closed off, and Andi knew she was the cause. She should leave this alone. Anything she did would just make things worse. Andi picked up her coffee and thanked Glenda as she stepped away. “See you soon, Gwen.”

Andi placed a hand on Gwen’s shoulder as she passed, feeling the inexplicable need to touch her. Her face warmed at the slight touch as she brushed past. She didn’t know what was happening with her, but the mixed emotions she had been experiencing since meeting Gwen were driving her crazy.

When Andi stepped away, Gwen couldn’t help but turn toward her. The light touch on her shoulder felt warm, and she had wanted to lean into it. She didn’t get it. One minute Andi was cold and distant and the next she seemed to invite Gwen in. She watched Andi move down the counter to Ward, who still sat staring at the same cup of coffee. Andi leaned next to him, pulled a small package from her pocket, and slid it in front of him. His eyes seemed to mist over for a moment, and then he placed a heavy hand on Andi’s shoulder and gave her an affectionate pat. Andi nodded, stepped aside with a smile, and walked out of the diner.

Gwen was curious about the exchange. Whatever Andi had left for Ward seemed to make all the difference in his mood. He sat looking out the window after Andi with a faint smile on his face and the twinkle back in his eyes. What was it with that woman? It seemed the whole town was enamored of Andrea Massey, including herself. Why was that? Andi seemed so private, so elusive. But every time Gwen had been close to Andi, she felt a need wash over her. Andi had awakened something within her. When Andi wasn’t being guarded and defensive, there was a gentleness about her that put everyone at ease. But Gwen knew she hadn’t imagined Andi’s distance only moments before. Was it just her? Maybe she should just take the hint. Andi just wasn’t into her.