No Justice No Peace (6 page)

            “That’s the one you used to know.  I’m trying to change Rufus. In a few more months, you’ll see how much I’ve changed.”

            “Nigga, tell that to the fool you just blew away a few hours ago.  You don’t have it in you, man.  And as soon as you realize that, I hope you’ll make your way back to me.”

            “Whatever you say, Killer.  I’ll get at you in a few days, alright?”

            “Thanks for handlin’ my bit-ness. In a minute.”

            Rufus hung up and I put several hundred dollars in my wallet. I placed the suitcase back underneath the bed and felt like a new man.  When I came out of the room, Ginger said that her and Allison were going over to Allison’s house to play cards.  She asked if I wanted to come along, but I declined.

            After they left, I got comfortable in my boxers and stretched out on the couch.  I placed a thick pillow on my lap and slowly faded. 

I was in a deep sleep, when Desmon and Antonio came busting through the door.  I’d already reached for my piece, and when I saw that it was them, I laid the gun back down on the floor. 

            “Say, man,” Desmon said to me. “You got any mojo on ya?”

Immediately, I could tell him and Antonio were fucked up.  Trying to have one peaceful night, I realized that I couldn’t.  I slowly got up and tripped his ass to the floor.  He fell hard and hit his head.  I kneeled over him and grabbed him by his collar.

 “Didn’t I tell you I was gon fuck you up if you kept disrespecting me?” I yelled.  He gathered spit in his mouth and let it out in my face.  I took my fist, slamming it hard in his face.  The tough lil muthafucka hit me back, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t grab his ass off the floor and throw him into the wall in front of me.  Ginger’s whole entertainment center came crashing down and the glass cracked as it hit the floor.  Blood dripped from Desmon’s mouth and he roared like a tiger as he stood up and charged at me again.  With all my strength, I pushed his chest, sending him flying backwards again.  He fell hard, but the stupid fool got up again. This time, I made it clear I wasn’t playing. I caught him with another right in his face that instantly floored him.  He rolled over on his back, spitting blood from his mouth.  Antonio, being the damn fool that he was, looked at my gun on the floor and reached for it. He aimed it at me.

I held my arms out and smiled. “This shit is between a father and his son, but if you’re that bad, shoot me.”

“Dez,” he yelled. “All you gotta do is say the word and this fool is history!”

Now, this really fucked me up.  I kneeled down next to Desmon and pulled him up by his collar. “Did you hear him!  Your boy said all you gotta do is say the word!  So, say the word, nigga, so we can get this over with!”

He gazed at me with hostility in his eyes. “I hate you, Kiley!  Lord knows I hate you!”

I shook him by the collar. “Then tell your fucking friend to pull the trigger!”

“You—

“Tell him! Shut the hell up and tell him!”

Desmon didn’t say shit.  I shoved him backwards and karate kicked Antonio in his stomach.  He flipped over the couch and the gun dropped out of his hand.  I picked it up and looked at both of the pathetic fools.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.  You niggas ain’t about shit!”  I grabbed my blue jean shorts and shoes off the floor, slamming the door on my way out. 

I put on my shorts and walked around for a while, waiting for things to cool down.  I wanted to go to Anna’s place, but I didn’t want to run to her when there was trouble.  Instead, I walked to the nearest payphone.  I called Jada on her cell phone and she quickly called back.

“Kiley, is that you?” she asked, sounding surprised.

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?”

“I’ve been waiting and waiting to hear from you.  Where are you?”

“In front of Joe’s liquor store on State St.”

“I need directions.  I have no idea—”

I told Jada where it was and she said that she was on her way.  Shirtless, I sat on the curb and waited for Jada to come.  Within the hour, she pulled up in her spanking brand new Lexus.  She unlocked the doors and I hopped in.  She looked over at me with a blank expression on her face.

“I don’t want no drama, Kiley.  If you and your woman been fighting…”

 I took a deep breath. “Good to see you too, Jada.”

She silenced herself and drove off.

There was no conversation between us.  Jada looked straight ahead and drove, while I looked out of the window.  I did, however, look over at her a few times.  I’d noticed the huge wedding ring that damn near weighed down her finger, the clothes she had on were named brand shit, and several hundred-dollar bills were stuffed in the Gucci purse that sat close by her side.  She’d thickened up a bit more, and her sandy brown hair was in a sleek ponytail.  Some things just never change, I thought.  Pertaining to her and me as well.  

She drove to the Radisson by the airport and parked.  It was obvious what was on her mind, but as angry as I was about what had happened between me and Desmon, I really wasn’t in the mood.

“Do you remember this place?” she asked. I nodded and leaned back in the seat. “Do you want to go inside or not?”

Without answering, I reached for the door handle and opened the door.  Jada grabbed her purse, and after she locked the doors, we went inside.  I stood closely behind her because I didn’t have a shirt on.  She got a room and I followed her to it. 

When we got inside, Jada sat on the edge of the bed and I leaned against the dresser with my arms folded.

“Jada, I don’t feel like having sex tonight.”

She gave me a stare. “Nigga, did I ask you for sex?”

“I assumed—

“Well, you assumed wrong.  If you must know, I just wanted to see you.  I missed you and I wanted to be sure you were okay.  By the looks of things, it’s obvious you’re not.”

“No, I’m not.  But you know I ain’t never been one to talk about my problems, right?”

“You need to stop with the secrets.  There are some people who you can still trust.”

“Very few.”

“Yeah, well, that’s just how it is.  I hope that after all we’d been through, you feel as if you can trust me.”

I couldn’t believe this bullshit Jada was talking. She was definitely someone I couldn’t trust and her actions from the past confirmed it. “Trust you to do what, Jada?  To call the police on me when shit don’t go right like you did in the past?  To fuck my partner cause things ain’t right with you and me?”

Of course, she defended her actions. “Kiley, that was a long time ago.  I admit I made some stupid mistakes, but so did you.”

“You got that right.  Mistakes that I don’t want to make again.”

“You know, you didn’t say all that when you were in jail.  It was all good then, so what happened baby?  Have you had a change of heart since you’ve been out?”

“Maybe.”

She threw her hand back. “Whatever.  It don’t even matter.”

Jada turned away and looked down at the ground.  I sat next to her on the bed. “This hotel was the last place we had sex,” I said. “You didn’t think I remembered, did you?”

She moved her head from side to side, implying no.

“Why’d you come here?”  I asked.  “If you didn’t want to have sex with me, then why come to a place that has memories?”

“I don’t know.  I’ve thought a lot about you…about us over the last few years and we shouldn’t had never broken up.  We’d been through thick and thin together and I never got over you.  To this day, I can’t stop thinking about your punk ass.”  She smiled.

“It’s nice to know I was thought about, because I’d for damn sure thought you’d moved on with your life.  Especially, since you’re married now and everythang.”

She pointed her finger at me. “You know damn well I don’t love him.  I was looking for a replacement for your Black ass.”

“Big mistake.”

“You’re damn right it was.  But…but what about you?  Do you have any feelings left for me?”  I was silent. “Kiley, tell me.  And don’t lie either.”

I paused before answering Jada, knowing that my true words may set her off.

“Along time ago, baby, I would have given you the world.  Again, that was a long time ago.  I have nothing left for no one, but Quincy, Rufus and my son.”

“But, I’m talking about me or any other females. You can’t tell me you ain’t got no feelings for anybody.”

“Jada, again, I got love for Quincy, Rufus and Desmon.  Baby, women don’t mean shit to me right now.  I stopped giving my love to women after what happened to me.  I promised myself I would never love again.”

“Were you in love with that bitch Candi?”

“No, but it’s just the trust I gave her.  I trusted the shit out of her and opened up to her in many ways I shouldn’t had.”

“Have you seen her since you’ve been out?”

“Believe it or not, yes.”

Jada’s eyes bugged. “Seriously?”

“Yep. I saw her at a nightclub.  She didn’t see me but I definitely saw her. No doubt, I was very happy to see her.”

Jada looked into my eyes. She could tell what they revealed. “Kiley, you ain’t up to nothing, are you?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Whatever it is, I don’t want to know.  Please be careful though.  I’d hate for something to happen to you.”

I lay back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. “Would you rub my back like you used to do?  Your fingernails used to feel so good scrolling up and down on my back.”

Jada smiled. “Now, you know for a fact, when it comes to me, in order to get something, you’ve got to give something.”

I winked at her. “Then take your damn clothes off, girl.”

She reached for the top button on her shirt. “I thought you’d see it my way.”

Jada and me got down to business. One moment I was there and the next minute I wasn’t.  Desmon was on my mind so I kind of rushed Jada so we could go. 

It was way after two o’clock in the morning when she dropped me off.  I asked her to drop me off at the corner, so it would cut down on the tension between Ginger and me.

“Until next time,” Jada said, leaning over to give me a kiss.

I rubbed her thick legs. “Yeah, baby, until next time.” I got out and closed the door. 

On my way to Ginger’s place, I lit a cigarette and smoked it.  I smashed it out by the front door and entered.  It was kind of quiet, so I went into the kitchen to find something to eat.  There wasn’t much, so I grabbed a box of cereal, pouring it into a bowl.  I added milk and sat down to eat.  

            I was on scoop number three, when Ginger swooped into the kitchen. She smacked my face and swiped the cereal bowl on the floor.

            She spoke through gritted teeth. “What in the hell did you do to my son?”

            “I ain’t do shit to
our
son.  We talked, he didn’t like my conversation and that was it. Now, don’t put your hands on me again, or else I promise to give you a taste of the same medicine.”

            Her eyes watered. “Have you seen his face? How could you do that to him! I don’t know whether to call the police on you or not.  You are an animal, Kiley!  You should have stayed locked up, especially if you think I’m going to let you come in here and beat on my son like that!”

            Frustrated, I slammed my hand on the table. “Our son needs some discipline!  Had you put your foot in his ass along time ago, I wouldn’t have to do it now!  But you were too busy, though.  Too busy lying on your damn back and giving out your lousy ass pussy!  You ain’t been about shit, Ginger!  Tell me what the fuck is your purpose?  Desmon comes in here when he wants to, he doesn’t go to school, he gets high out of his damn mind, he fucks his bitches in your shitty house, and what do you do?  Not a damn thing.  You pat him on the back by buying him expensive clothes to look good, and buy him a car when he ain’t even old enough to drive! So, I don’t give a rats ass how you feel about me hitting him.  It wasn’t the first and it won’t be the last!  He’s gonna fear me! And every time he thinks about disrespecting me, I’m gonna make sure he thinks twice! Every time he thinks he can come in here when he get good and ready to, I got something for that ass!  And if he ever thinks about sharing a joint with me again, I’m gonna show him who the real weed wacker is around here! And, you know why Ginger?”  She turned her head, looking away.  I stood up and grabbed her face tightly in my hands. “Because my father kicked my ass when I disrespected him.  All it took was one time, and it was an ass kicking I will never forget.  To this day, dead or not, I respect him and worship the ground he walked on.  Someday, Desmon is going to feel the same way about me.  I’m gonna make sure of that.” 

            She smacked my hand away from her face. “If your daddy was all that, then how in the hell did you to turn out to be the ignorant muthafucka that you are?”

            “Because it was a bitch like you who helped raise me!”

            Ginger reached out to smack me again and I quickly grabbed her wrist and twisted it.  I pushed her away and walked into the bedroom.  Feeling the pressure, I plopped down on the bed.  I sat back against the pillows and my throat ached from the thought of what I’d done to Desmon. I hoped like hell I hadn’t hurt him too badly. I needed some kind of confirmation that I was going about this the right way.  I surely didn’t have all the answers, but it was the only way I knew how to get him to straighten up.  The last thing I wanted was for him to be like me.  There had to be a better life for him…it just had to be.