No Wasted Tears

Dedication

This book is dedicated to Josephine Bullard who spoke it before I conceived
it.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank my gracious heavenly Father, who anointed me to begin and complete this work. It would not have been completed without you using my hand as a pen. All praise, honor, and glory to Your name. In the beginning this book was to be a self-help book for women dealing with past hurts and rejection. But God had other plans because as I began to write, the anointing of God took control and today it is
No Wasted Tears
a
novel.

A special thank you goes to Jonathon Carter, my husband and friend, who believed from the very beginning and never doubted I could accomplish this God-given assignment. I love you for being a man after God’s own heart. The best is yet to come for both of
us.

Thaydra and Jonathon, my children who have always given me unceasing love and constant support, know that you inspire me to do so much more. Truly you both are my inspirations, Mommy loves you
both.

What can I say about my sister Sandra? You were a constant source of strength when I became discouraged and wanted to quit during my most difficult struggles. Your prayers pushed me to never give up. Thank you for being my bouncing board and for reading every chapter I sent you without complaining but always encouraging. Thank you Calvin for understanding and never complaining when this project took time away from
you.

Craig and Chad you have supported, prayed, and encouraged me, all I can say is, that your big sister loves you. Devlyn and Brenda thank you for your prayers. I would also like to acknowledge the love and support of my parents Jenese and Warren thank you for instilling Christian morals and values in my life. I thank God for both of you on a daily basis. Mother you have always been a source of strength for me your tenacity has taught me to press on in spite any trial or
tribulation.

There are others of you not listed, but who have supported me through prayers and positive thoughts for the success of
No Wasted
Tears
, please know I am
grateful.

Finally, to the best church family in the whole world, Siloam Church International, I love each of you forever and a
day!

To all of the readers who have weathered the torrential downpours that have occurred in your lives, you survived. I know personally what it’s like to believe God in the dark. But believe me God is still with you even in the darkest times of your life. Never let the devil see you sweat because all he has is a roar. You my dear readers have the victory because you are on the winning team. All of you made the decision to be victorious rather than being victims. I celebrate you, and this book was written as a testimony for all of our many tests in
life.

Prologue

Adam Wheeler knew he was in trouble the minute he saw her. He didn’t know why she of all people snagged his attention, considering he was just in a conference full of the most beautiful females in the church world. He’d seen all shapes, colors, and ages, but none who seem to possess the innate ability to discern that he was looking for more than just a skirt to be his wife. This woman had his attention even while he approached his seat in the aisle. She wasn’t totally composed; as a matter of fact, she was crying. But she had a face that was strikingly
beautiful.

Adam examined her with greater care. Everything about her appeared quiet and understated. She’d let her hair hang loose around her face. She looked impossibly young, and yet one glimpse of those eyes warned of someone who’d been through the pits of hell and back again. They overflowed with vulnerability that he discerned could only have been gained through some type of
pain.

He didn’t know what it was in particular about her appearance that aroused such intense interest. It was something subtle. Something that stirred instincts he’d honed during his years surviving as a single pastor in the shark-infested waters of the church world. Those instincts warned that this woman, while appearing so calm and controlled on the outside, had a deeply rooted secret. Adam thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen; she looked like a lost child. Only last evening, he’d been standing outside in a light rain, looking upward to ask God for another chance at love. He had recovered from the scandal he faced a few years earlier. There was once a time he thought he’d never get past the embarrassment or the hurt he suffered because of befriending the wrong woman. But it was a lesson learned. He praised the Lord for bringing him
out.

The one thing he had learned as a ministry leader was that you had to be honest with yourself before you could effectively minister to your congregation. Never would he have thought that he would struggle with lust, pornography, or any other sexual sin. But he knew he had to repent and deal with the issues in his life. Realizing what triggered his downward spiral into sexual sin was a major part of his healing process. He knew what a broken heart was after experiencing a bad breakup with his fiancée. Pondering that thought, he now knew the breakup was part of the reason he found himself on the
Internet.

But God had cleansed his heart and prepared him to help heal others. Now he could smile about it because he understood how David felt after he had committed adultery with Bathsheba. He lifted his eyes slightly while saying, “Thank you for creating a right spirit in me and giving me a ministry that teaches the lost your ways so that they can find their way
home.”

Adam would always be grateful that he had a loving family. It had been a year and a half since the whole incident took place. He’d heard just recently that the same woman was causing havoc in the life of another pastor in the city. He didn’t want her life ruined; he just wanted her to be
delivered.

He had cried many a night because of the lust of his flesh. After his deliverance, Adam began speaking truthfully about pornography and sexual sin. He stopped shying away from teaching the full biblical revelation regarding human sexuality. He had learned to be proactive and real. By being honest and as open as he could be on the subject, many Christians who felt as if they were the only ones struggling with this sin were encouraged by his openness. If he had continued to beat around the bush, it would have only added to the secrecy and shame that he and those who were struggling
felt.

Now it was his goal to inform all pastors to preach about it from the pulpit. Adam learned that sexual sins were not just a guy’s issue. Men, women, and many young adults were struggling with sexual sin at an ever-increasing rate. The more openly he discussed sexual sins as well as God’s intent for biblical sexuality, the more his congregation was beginning to feel free enough to share their struggles and to seek help and guidance. He’d
told many a pastor not to give in to the temptation of softening the message in their attempt to not offend
anyone.

Now he was on a mission to help other ministers who had gotten caught in this sinful web. Since Adam had begun this new journey, God had pivoted his ministry to the next level. He was traveling all over the country telling others about the dangers of this
addiction.

After spending time with the other ministers during the conference, he finally realized what was missing in his life. It was the companionship of a godly woman. While walking back from one of his sessions during the conference in the rain, he had poured his heart out to God in prayer asking him to send him true love. And now here he was looking into the most beautiful pair of eyes he’d ever seen. True enough he was tired. It had been a long week of meetings and lectures. He thanked God for all of the souls that had been won for Jesus. He also thanked God for being faithful, and that’s when he heard God in a still small voice say,
Adam, tonigh
t you’re going to me
et your
destiny.

He thought about the fact that it was a little scary knowing that God had spoken to him. So as a man full of faith, he refused to let the devil make him nervous. He knew that as a pastor he had run a good race, and surely if he was to leave this earth, then he must have finished his life’s mission. So all he could say was, “Thank
God.”

It was at that moment he felt a squeeze on his
hand.

Chapter 1

Slowly her eyes opened. Destiny took one, then another, deep, calming breath. What had she been thinking? Although she ached all over, at first glance, she seemed to be in one piece; there was still so much to do, and time was running out. She knew there was no time for daydreaming. Bishop’s message “Moving Day” would forever stay with her, and this time she had heard him in her spirit man, letting her know it was time to move forward and get closer to the
Lord.

Her eyes remained on the bedroom door from the bathroom where she was trying to clean the blood from her face. Her eyes were a little swollen, but some makeup would do the job. Every once in a while the noise from the settling of the house made her jump. She knew she had to hurry in order to make her
flight.

Seattle, Washington was just a thought two months ago, but now it was her destination. It was far away from Charleston, South Carolina and him. Rushing to the closet where she had hidden her bank account information, she grabbed it out of a shoebox. Listening and watching, Destiny pulled the documents out and looked again at the balance. Learning not to buy new things or spend unnecessary money, she’d saved enough money to transfer the balance from her bank account to one under her auntie’s name. No one knew this but her aunt Sara and her uncle Willie, and she trusted both of them. After putting her checkbook in the purse, she took a quick glance at the clock. There were less than two hours to make it to the
airport.

The next few moments passed by as a blur. Destiny was lost, staring intently at the floor while her mind drifted elsewhere. Fear seemed to course through her veins. No matter how hard Destiny willed herself to be strong, she just couldn’t. Tears continued to form; she couldn’t stop the migraine that was on the verge of causing an explosion in her head. She knew how lucky she had been tonight, no the correct word was how blessed she had been. Destiny swallowed. What if? She had read a story a couple of years ago about a young woman who had lost her life after a horrific attack by her husband. Her whole life had changed as a result. Her only mistake today had been not cooking. Stanley told her last night he would be going out. How stupid was it not to cook the steaks that were left in the refrigerator? She needed everything to go smoothly. One stupid mistake could have ruined everything, landing her in the
hospital.

Stanley was gone now, and in thirty minutes, she would be out of this house forever and closer to her promised promises. After double-checking the room for anything that she could have missed and leaving behind everything that she did not need, Destiny started down the stairs. The suitcase was in the car. She’d purchased one last week while she was at Walmart and kept it in the trunk along with everything she anticipated needing for this move to Seattle. She even had living arrangements. All she had to do now was make it to her
car.

Destiny was beat; she usually put in fewer hours at the office, but she knew her last check would come in handy. Bishop Carter preached a sermon last week about a man by the name of Zacchaues who had been trying to see Jesus, but his view was blocked. However, he did not give up. He climbed a tree in order to get a view of the Master. Destiny was feeling like that little man, and just like him, if it took booking a flight on Delta and changing her name, no one was going to stop her, not this time. Her dreams had been buried and left for dead her senior year in college. But the desire to be more than what she saw in the mirror had never died; somewhere deep inside there had always been a nudging for her to do more. She heard her dreams calling her name although she’d laid them to rest years ago. Today would be the first day of their
resurrection.