Nobody's Dream (33 page)

Perhaps she should have been honest with
Papá
, but telling him about that night would have forced him to either seek revenge, or worse, to keep Cassie under wraps at home. There was always the real possibility she might have been blamed for going to the cantina with Pedro. Her stomach clenched. What if she had been forced to marry Pedro? If she had been unable to escape to New York, she could not have survived in her Peruvian village without shriveling up and dying. She shuddered.

“Cold?”

She brought herself back to the moment. “Just felt a little draft,” she lied. “At least Aurora Casandra is warm.”

Staring into Adam’s eyes confirmed her suspicions. In the past, every time she had come face to face with the man or his photo, she had not been able to shake the feeling of being scrutinized—and found lacking. But it was her
papá’s
disdain she had sensed, not Adam’s. She hadn’t realized the resemblance between the two men and their skin tone and green eyes until she painted the portrait of her parents and saw that his eyes were so similar to Adam’s.

The new
papá
beside her moved his hand and tapped Aurora’s closed fist with his pinky finger. She opened her tiny, wrinkled hand to latch onto him. “Definitely as strong as the other two.”

Adam said, “Like Karla.”

At the same moment, in unison, Cassie said, “Like Kitty.”

He cleared his throat and continued in a whisper. “I think you’re right. Rori’s going to be just fine.”

Rori. She liked the nickname. She would still remember the baby’s full name.

But the pride and love in his voice melted any remaining irrational resistance she had to Adam. The time had come for her to open her heart to the man who made Kitty happy and fulfilled. “You are going to be a wonderful father, Adam. Just as you have been a good husband to Kitty.”

Adam’s gaze sent her back to the past, leaving her longing for
Papá
before she centered herself once again in the present.

“Thank you, Cassie. I’d give up my life for any one of my family members, and that includes you because you’re a sister to my Karla.”

Cassie blinked away the tears, but they spilled anyway. A crushing weight lifted off her shoulders. Perhaps the time had come for her to stop painting all men with the same brush of evil she used for Pedro, Luis, and Diego.

There
were
good men in the world—Adam Montague was one of them.

And Lucas Denton, another.

*     *     *

“How are Gracie and Millie doin’?”

Cassie looked up from her pressed-paper cup of coffee to find Lucas towering over her. Her heartbeat ramped up before she reminded herself he was not a threat, even at his imposing height. She had chosen this table in the corner, facing into the cafeteria, so she would notice anyone approaching but had been too absorbed in her thoughts about Kitty’s babies to pay attention to her surroundings. Not wise, although with Lucas, she felt more safe than scared.

“Milagrosa’s doing fine. Graciela’s a wonderful mom.” Cassie’s throat grew tight. Seeing Kitty’s three precious babies churned up feelings she did not know she had inside her. Motherhood was something she would never experience herself.

“Mind if I join you?”

“No, of course not!” She picked up her purse and hooked the strap over the back of her chair. “I am sorry.”

Lucas took the only other seat at the table, at a ninety-degree angle to her, and sipped from his cup as they sat in silence for a few moments.

“They sure have their work cut out for them. Triplets. Damn.”

The words came out before she thought. “Have you ever thought about having kids of your own, Lucas?” A fraction of a second later, Cassie realized that she had given him a life sentence with a woman who did not want to have his children. “I am sorry. I forgot about—”

He waved his hand in the air. “Don’t apologize. Tell you the truth, back then the thought of being a dad scared the piss out of me.”

She wanted to crawl under the table with embarrassment twice over now. She had not been referring to the loss of his unborn baby, either. If she had been sleeping better, perhaps she would not be so careless.

“I plan to be one of several doting uncles to Adam’s three—and to Marisol, too.”

Cassie nodded, thankful he did not put any pressure on her to be a true wife, as if pressure from him would change the situation any. “I am going to be the best aunt I can be to those babies. I so miss seeing my own niece and nephews grow up. Eduardo’s wife is due this month with their fourth.”

“So Eduardo made it home okay?”

Cassie nodded.

“What did your parents think of the portrait?”

“They have not seen it yet. It is for their anniversary next month. I feel a little guilty that I am not presenting it to them in person.” Until now, she had no desire to be at the celebration, but strange feelings were stirring within her. She missed her family.

“You’ll visit when the time is right. I assume they know we’re married. How’d they take the news?”

“
Mamá
cried. She told
Papá
for me. He does not like to Skype. But in later conversations, she told me he hoped to meet you someday.”

She furrowed her brow, unable to imagine that time ever coming. She still did not wish to return to Peru, with or without Lucas. Heat rose in her face, and she avoided making eye contact with him.

Shame.

At least only Kitty and Angelina knew about her past. Neither would share that information with Lucas.

“Why don’t we have supper together again when things settle down here?” She felt ashamed of herself, too, for shirking her promise to have dinner with him occasionally. So far, she had only met with him once for dinner two weeks ago.

“I am not sure when that will be, but I will let you know soon.”

Lucas nodded, as if he trusted her to follow through. She would this time. Once she settled back into her routine.

Lucas drained his cup. “Well, I’m going to head back down to the ranch. Need to get in the workshop and make a special bed for the babies to share. I’ll check on the alpacas on the way so you can have more time here.”

She gazed at Lucas’s face. Why did he always have to be so nice? “Actually, I cannot do much while Kitty and the babies are in the hospital, but I could definitely use your help when she and the babies go home. She is going to need all of us pitching in to help, I am sure.”

“Just to make sure I don’t put my foot in it upstairs, have you told anyone about our marriage?”

How could he call it a marriage? She glanced down at her bare left ring finger. She had removed the ring soon after the wedding, although for some reason she carried it in her purse. She glanced at Luke’s finger and saw he still wore his.

Cassie shook her head. “No. Our arrangement would be too complicated for them to understand and so much has been going on with everyone.” She reached across the table to tap his ring. “Would you mind terribly not wearing this around them? I fear someone will notice and remark on it.”

He shrugged, but did not move to take the ring off. “I meant my vows, Cassie. If anyone notices and asks, I’ll say something about my wife, and they can draw their own conclusions. Most will probably think I’m referring to Maggie.”

Cassie pulled her hand back to a safer distance. Was she wrong in refusing to acknowledge this man as her husband by law?

No.

“It is not right that I am tying you down to something you only agreed to in order to please my parents.”

“Don’t be puttin’ words into my mouth, darlin’. I very much want you as my wife.”

He wanted her?
Why?
She sighed. “I can never be a wife other than on that piece of paper we signed.”

“I’m a patient man.”

More like a saint.

“Lucas, you deserve much better.”

He grinned. “You don’t hear me complaining, do you? I’m also optimistic. Have dinner with me this week before Karla goes home.”

She nibbled her lower lip, unsure why she did not turn him down immediately. “You also are a
good
man.”

“Tryin’ my best. I was a Boy Scout, after all.” His grin disarmed her. “Besides that, I had a momma who’d kick my ass if I was anything but a gentleman.”

She smiled. “Your mother must be very special.”

“Oh, that she is. Come down to my place next month, and you can meet her yourself.”

Cassie glanced down at her cup, using her thumbnail to carve lines into the Styrofoam. “No, I do not think I should do that.”

“Even with Momma as a chaperone?” he teased. “Hell, we’ve been alone in a much smaller place without anything happening.” He paused, and his voice became more serious. “You know you can trust me, Cassie.”

When she met his gaze again, she saw his grin had faded.

You ask too much of me Lucas.

“I should head home now. I’m sure Graciela is missing me.”

“Don’t run yourself down, Sweet Pea. Glad you’re going to get home before dark.”

She saw genuine caring in his eyes. Suddenly uncomfortable, she stood and slid the chair back, letting its legs squeak along the linoleum. “Thanks again for the offer to help with the alpacas in the coming weeks. I will let you know when I need you there.”

He stood and nodded. “You have my number. Use it. Anytime you need me, just call or text. I’m only ten miles away from your place and happy to help out. Not much else I can do in this whole baby thing but make baby beds and take care of
your
babies.”

“That means a lot to me, and I know it will to Kitty and Adam, too.” For some reason she could not put her finger on, she was reluctant to part from him. She had to admit she missed having him to talk with, not realizing how quiet and lonely it was on her mountain.

But she did not need the complication of a man in her life. “Be careful on the roads, too, Lucas.” The thought of anything happening to him hurt her heart. He had been through so much already.

“You, too, darlin’.”

Feeling awkward, she walked away, but Lucas fell into step beside her. Her body responded to his nearness. Heart racing, chest tightening, breath quickening. Why would being near someone as safe as Lucas trigger her fight-or-flight response?

When they reached the main lobby, he said goodbye again, and she watched him make his way to the elevators to go up and visit. She suffered a pang of regret that nothing more than a superficial friendship could ever exist between them, despite the certificate of marriage that should have promised more.

She still had the slip of paper on which Lucas had handwritten their vows. She had reread them more than once. Perhaps when things settled down, she would make an effort to try harder to live up to her end of this arrangement and have dinner with the man at least.

Most certainly, Lucas Denton deserved something in return for all he had sacrificed for her.

*     *     *

Four days later, Cassie joined Kitty to help her prepare to leave the hospital.

“Kitty, let me help.” Cassie hoped she was helping, at least, given how little she knew about human babies. She opened the diaper bag and pulled out two tiny diapers while Kitty unsnapped Paxton’s sleeper, his feet in perpetual motion. “The nurse should be here with the wheelchair soon. I know you will be happy to go home.”

“Yeah, but it’s torture leaving Rori behind. We’ll be torn between spending as much time as possible here in the NICU, and at home with her siblings. I hate that they will be separated so long at such a young age.”

“Do not worry. Even if decades and thousands of miles separate these babies, they have an invisible, indestructible cord attaching their hearts to one another. The Universe will continue to move through their lives and keep them emotionally close, no matter what.”

Kitty brushed away a tear. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Cass.” Her voice had grown husky with her tears.

Cassie kept one hand on Kate, who patiently awaited her turn, while stroking Kitty’s back with the other. “It will only be a few weeks. Just concentrate on all the happy years you have to come with your children. Giving Aurora a healthy start in life is the most important thing now.”

“I know. Mom was right. Motherhood sure isn’t for wimps. I worry about everything now.”

Cassie could only imagine. She looked forward to experiencing the joy of motherhood vicariously through Kitty’s wee babies. Such precious gifts. How one mother could care for three babies was beyond Cassie’s comprehension, though.

“It is good your mom’s going to stay the rest of the week to help you settle into a routine.”

Kitty laughed. “You and Adam with your talk of routines. I don’t know that there will ever be anything routine about life with triplets.” She fastened the last of the snaps covering Paxton’s legs. “Next.”

Cassie changed places with Kitty and swaddled Paxton the way the nurse had taught her while the new
mamá
changed Kate’s diaper. Picking up and holding Paxton pulled at heartstrings Cassie thought had been severed long ago.

“Hi, precious little boy.
Tía
Cassie is going to spoil you rotten.” She had spent the night in Kitty’s house last night, but slept on the sofa rather than her friend’s bed. Everything was as ready as it could be for the new family.

“May I join the club?” Cassie glanced up as Angelina entered the room. She, too, had been here every one of the past four days, usually bringing delicious meals for everyone to feast on. Angelina was empty-handed today. Undoubtedly, a feast had been prepared to welcome them home.

Angelina pinched Paxton’s cheek affectionately. “Ah,
bambino mio
. Here’s another auntie ready to commence spoiling you.”

“Hey, you two, don’t forget that you’ll go home eventually, and I’ll have to be the mean-old-mommy who has to correct all that spoiling.” Kitty wrapped Kate tightly and waved a hand toward Angelina. “Oh, heck. I guess you can spoil this one a little bit, too, while I pack the last of my toiletries. Adam is probably waiting at the door downstairs for us already.”