Northern Exposure: Compass Brothers, Book 1 (12 page)

“Not since two days ago.” She worried her lip. “I don’t think she’s coming home. There was a lot of blood.”

“Sorry, hon. You loved that fur ball.” JD did hug her then. “Sometimes it’s better like that. They go out on their own terms, no suffering when there’s nothing you could do to help.”

Cindi nodded. She accepted the food for her pets, kissed JD on his tough cheek then pivoted before scrubbing her eyes.

“Better hope Lucy doesn’t catch you out here, son. Or Colby for that matter.”

“Couldn’t stay inside a minute more. Too much restless energy.”

JD studied Silas with an appraising stare. “Any left after that hike? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

When Silas levered himself to his good leg, JD handed his son his crutches then motioned with his chin. “Come say hello to Rainey. I’m guessing it’ll be quite a while before you’re back in the saddle but at least you can reintroduce yourself.”

“Yeah, doctor said it would be at least another two months, maybe as many as four, before I can ditch all this crap.” Silas thanked JD silently when the man paused to fiddle with the hardware holding a feed bucket halfway across the barn. He suspected the gesture was all for show. “Then I’ll probably need a freaking cane for another six months. Physical therapy for at least a year.”

“Could have been worse.”

“Don’t I know it?” He thought of the email he’d sent to Red’s mother earlier, offering the only solace he could. Her son had intended to return. The woman had responded within minutes, thanking him for the gift of knowledge and offering him shelter if ever he needed it. She seemed to think he’d meant something to her son and that Red would have been pleased his exile had ended—something positive had resulted from the disaster.

Silas grunted as he reached Rainey’s stall and leaned on the wall. The gelding snorted then nuzzled him as though they’d come in from the hard ride from his brothers’ campsite minutes, not years, ago. The set of the horse’s ears displayed his excitement as he lipped Si’s outstretched hand, eager to welcome his rider home. He wondered if the horse could tell from his grin how happy it made him to lay hands on the animal again.

“That horse never turned one bit friendlier while you were gone. Grumpy as shit.”

“Seems awful nice to me. Always was.” Silas cleared his throat and patted Rainey’s neck as the animal leaned into his touch.

“He’s clear on who owns him. Most creatures are. That bond and respect never change once earned.”

“We still talking about Rainey?” Silas would have shuffled his booted feet if he could have.

“Not likely.” JD rubbed his side then helped Silas to the chair before sinking onto a bale of hay. “The hell you’ve been through changes a man, Si. When you brush death like that, up close and personal, you learn quick to quit fucking around. Time is too precious to waste. We’re only given so much and then we’re gone.”

Silas nodded, wondering how his father understood.

“And that’s why I’m gonna ask you straight up. What are you planning to do? Stick? Run? What?”

“I can’t leave. Never again.” Silas sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m afraid to believe but it seems like this could work. Me. Lucy. Colby. It’s insane and flawless. Unless…”

“What now?” His father glared at him.

“Do I embarrass you? There won’t be any hiding things. Not around here. The ranch is too close-knit for that. I can’t keep it under wraps. After all this time, I can’t hide anymore.”

“I’d rather you didn’t try to pretend at all.” JD tilted his head. “There’s no shame in honest love, Silas. I thought we raised you better than that. Don’t you dare dishonor the patience and pure adoration those kids have kept burning for you. That’d be far worse than the shit-storm of gossip that’ll fly for a while. Everyone had a kink.”

“Oh, yeah?” Silas laughed, pointing discreetly at the young woman dribbling milk from her finger into a kitten’s mouth across the barn. “You think Cindi enjoys things rough and nasty? Likes to be spanked or take it from behind maybe?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” JD shrugged. “Not that it’s any business of your disrespectful ass, but you’re not the first or the last guy to take a roll in the hay in this barn. Hell, these walls have seen a lot of damn action, and I’m not talking about the horses. Sweet Cindi likes to play with the cowboys. Jake and Ray at least have had the pleasure of double-teaming her. I can tell by the way they touch her and, unless I’m off the mark by a long shot, I’d guess there are two or three more who could say the same. Heard whispers she takes ’em all on at the same time. Keeps her from ending up too close to any one of them. Rings true to me, more than cowboy trash talk.”

Silas stared at his father, unsure of what disturbed him more—hearing the man speak so frankly about sex or the shattering of the illusion of innocence haloing the timid bookkeeper. “Her? She acted afraid of me. Not the kind of woman to submit to four or five guys, especially not those hulks.”

“Not the type. Huh. I imagine a lot of folks would say the same about Lucy. Doesn’t make it any less true.” JD laid it on the line. “You can’t judge what people need until you know them, Silas. Really know them. From what I pieced together, Cindi likes to surrender, once she’s satisfied she’s in capable hands. If I ever find the bastard who put those shadows in her eyes, I’ll kill him myself.”

“I’m starting to think our family has grown while I was gone.” Silas regretted every minute he’d missed.

“It has. Still, no one could replace you or your brothers. This ranch is your legacy, son.” JD looked straight into his eyes. “Are you ready to man up?”

“Sure, with you at the helm and Colby as foreman. I’ll work twice as hard as anyone else. I swear I’ll do my best to make you proud.”

“You always have, Silas.” His father sighed. “But you’re gonna have to speed things up some.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wish I could give you time to settle in. Heal. Take a honeymoon with Colby and Lucy.” JD hunched forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “I can’t.
I
need you Silas. Your family needs you. Compass Ranch needs you.”

As though a curtain had lifted, Silas noted the slight sheen of sweat on JD’s face. Brackets around his father’s mouth caused not by age, rather by persistent pain, drew his seeking gaze. Bloodshot eyes and a yellow cast to JD’s skin Silas hadn’t noticed beneath the tan appeared in the wake of his scrutiny.

“You don’t feel well? Head to the house, I’ll call Lucy.”

“No point, Si.” JD shook his head.

Was it this annoying when he went stubborn? Jesus, why had no one kicked his ass by now?

“And I’d prefer to keep this between us if you don’t mind.”

Silas’s heart hammered when JD’s solemn stare locked on him. This was bigger than the flu or some spoiled food at lunch. No!

“I heard you telling Colby about the fire last night.”

The two men had sat out on the porch long past midnight while Lucy dozed on the whitewashed swing. He couldn’t hoard enough of the fresh air or their company.

“I guess I’m at the point where I realize the alarm bells in
my
system are not caused by some false alarm.” As though he’d summoned his own personal demon, JD coughed. When the man yanked his handkerchief from his pocket, Silas noticed tiny flecks of blood spotting the fabric.

Terror spiked through his brain. His invincible father could not be ill. Not like that.

“I’m not ready to call it quits. Or even to start blabbing about what I suspect. But I’m damn glad you’re home. Takes a huge load off my shoulders. I’ve considered calling you back for a couple months now. I only wish, for your sake, that I’d picked up the phone sooner.”

“Wait.” Silas tried to process everything happening at lightning speed. “Have you been to the doctor? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t need fancy medicine to discover what I already know.” JD sat straighter. “I’m not willing to drag this out in some slow progression that steals every scrap of my pride.”

“You can’t throw in the towel without trying. You have to make an appointment, get a professional opinion. What if it’s something simple? Something easy to fix? Don’t be ignorant.” Silas raged inside and out. “I may be on crutches, but I will make you do this if I have to knock you unconscious with one and haul your ass there myself.”

“I truly did miss you.” JD laughed so hard he clasped his side again. “I appreciate the concern. I’m past the point of no return. I’m not gonna waste any of the time I have left on nonsense. Tomorrow morning we’ll begin reviewing information, starting with inventory and my five-year plan for operations.”

His father checked his watch then made to leave.

“I suggest you wait here. I’m expecting Colby in the next ten minutes. I’ll have him help you to the house.” JD dropped his hand onto Silas’s shoulder. “We can’t afford you getting hurt anymore.”

His father ambled into the setting sun, his silhouette shrinking as he moved farther away. Silas gasped hard through his open mouth, willing himself to calm. He had to call Seth. Together, maybe they could talk some sense into their crazy old man.

He cursed at the ceiling, his fingers gripping the stall door. Rainey nudged his hand until it rested on the gelding’s nose. He stroked the white spot there over and over as he thought of all the possibilities.

Too few of them were positive.

“You’ve really fixed this place up.”

Colby beamed. Silas inspected his handiwork as they leaned against the front bumper of his truck. Colby gave his friend a couple seconds to steady himself before heading inside his and Lucy’s house. They’d convinced Victoria and JD it’d be safer for Si to stay at their place, where all the rooms were on one level, rather than risk their stubborn lover tumbling down the stairs if he had trouble sleeping and could no longer suppress the urge to wander.

The trip to the barn and back earlier seemed to have exhausted Silas. Granted, he hadn’t undertaken much physical activity since the explosion but, still, it seemed odd for someone as toned as Si. He hadn’t suffered from lack of manual labor during his exile—that much was clear.

Colby flexed the well-developed muscles in his back. He couldn’t imagine his strength stripped from him. He took the body he’d grown into for granted sometimes. He’d earned every sculpted inch his wife often admired. “I’ve been finishing projects as I can. Replaced the roof this spring and built the wrap-around porch last fall. Lucy likes to slip on a bathrobe and drink her tea out there in the morning. Not like there’s anyone to see.”

“I hope you’ve taken advantage of that perk.” Silas grinned at Colby.

“I’ve had to haul ass to meet the rest of the hands plenty of mornings.” He wrapped his arm around Si’s waist and helped the man up the stairs, practically carrying him. “Not gonna lie, making love to Lucy on the dewy planks before heading off to early chores is worth sacrificing breakfast, no matter how delicious her omelets are.”

Colby ensured Silas had his crutches under him before he knelt to remove Si’s boots then kicked off his own. Lucy would kill them if they tracked mud onto the precious maple floors he’d installed for her five years or so ago.

“Jesus. I can imagine.” Si still seemed sluggish as they crossed the threshold, but the lascivious thought perked him up. “One taste of her and I’m addicted. She’s so hot, so tight. So eager to play.”

“Mmm.” Colby settled Silas on the wide leather sofa, elevating his braced leg using the ottoman and a few pillows as Lucy had mandated, then shifted the hard-on forming behind his zipper. “I love her so much, it’s terrifying.”

“Same here.” Silas stared straight into Colby’s eyes until he couldn’t bear it anymore.

He cleared his throat then gestured to the bright plaid curtains and the plant stand overflowing with greenery. “Lu did all the decorating.”

“It’s nice. Really comfortable.” Silas nodded when Colby sank beside him, their hands almost touching where they rested at their sides.

The injured man glanced at the clock above the piano, which no one played, but Lucy refused to sell. A ridiculous prop he tolerated. Anything to make her smile. “When does she call it quits? I don’t like the thought of her driving on those deserted roads, alone, after nightfall.”

Dusk encroached on the quaint home, sapphire blue sky replacing the orange streaks of the sunset lingering outside the picture window in front of them. “She’s usually here by now. It depends on the day and the patients. She carries a cell phone despite the spotty coverage. I’ve gotten better at beating the worry into submission, but thanks for reminding me.”

“Shit. Sorry, Colby.” Silas winced. “Believe me, I appreciate how stress can suck the life out of a guy.”

Could it be more than physical exertion draining Silas this evening?

“Anything you care to share?” Colby didn’t quite know how to be with Silas. Not yet, anyway. So he waded through memories to the times Silas had shouldered some of his burdens. When nightmares of his father’s abuse had seeped into his waking hours, Si had noticed and listened. Or distracted him. He’d forged a loyalty strong enough to last a decade, a thousand decades.

Maybe Colby could return the favor.

“Supposed to keep my mouth shut.” Silas shook his head.

“Oh, I like secrets,” Lucy called from the other room.

How had they not heard her arrive? She must have ridden her mare from the main house. He should have informed her he’d transferred Silas home.

“Tell me?” When she hung her bag on the hook by the door and pranced into the living room, Colby sighed. His wife would fix the lost look haunting Silas’s eyes. She hesitated when she spotted the marked difference in their lover.

Lucy understood immediately. This had nothing to do with Si’s injuries. Unlike Colby, she saw straight to the heart of the matter in an instant. “What happened?”

She dropped to the floor on her knees between Silas’s spread legs, laying her cheek on his good thigh. Her arms banded around his waist, surrounding him with her gentle care. Colby angled himself to face them better, laying one hand on her trembling back and the other on Silas’s shoulder.

Si groaned. He buried the fingers of one hand in Lucy’s pale hair, kneading her scalp so her silken waves caressed the sensitive span of his palm. His other hand gripped Colby’s knee. The ferocity of his hold convinced Colby he clung to sanity by his fingernails.