Not by Sight (10 page)

“What do you mean by remains?” Hawk said.

“They found human bones.” Mama paused for a moment, her fist pressed to her lips. “And a skull. Virgil said it was an adult’s, not a child’s.”

Abby listened as her mother shared with them everything Sheriff Granger had told her about the find.

“He really thinks some of the bones are Riley Jo’s?” Hawk said.

Mama shook her head. “Virgil just said they couldn’t be sure the remains belonged to only one person without DNA analysis.”

“So when will
we
know?” Hawk’s eyes had the same anxious look they had the night of the disappearance.

“DNA comparison on the bones could take a couple months.” Mama paused and seemed far away for a moment. “But if they’re able to match your father’s dental records with the skull they found, those results would be back quickly.”

“How quickly?” Hawk said.

“I really didn’t get into all that with Virgil.” Mama traced the floral pattern on the arm of the chair and seemed to be in a daze. “It was shocking news. I thought I was ready for anything.”

“I don’t see how we could ever be ready for this.” Abby wiped a tear off her cheek, feeling as if someone had lanced her deepest wound all over again.

“Well, I am,” Hawk said. “We’ve been in limbo for five years. I just want it over with. I want the truth, whatever it is. It’s the only way we’re going to get our lives back.”

“We all want the truth.” Grandpa Buck took off his glasses. “We’re just hopin’ it’s not too hard to hear.”

Hawk leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his fingers laced together. He spoke softly. “I think it’s time we accepted the worst possible scenario. Daddy knew the woods like the back of his hand. He and Riley Jo couldn’t have gotten lost out there. Something—or someone—must’ve killed them.”

“No one said they’re dead!” Abby blinked the stinging from her eyes. “We should wait for the DNA tests. It might not be Daddy. And no one said any of the remains belonged to a child.”

Hawk shot her one of his chiding looks. “That girl you spotted isn’t Riley Jo. You’d better ditch your illusion and start facing the facts.”

“I will,” Abby said defiantly, “when we have
facts
. Right now we have remains.” Even as Abby said the words, her heart sank. What if Daddy was dead? What if they found Riley Jo’s remains too? What if her hope was about to be shattered?

“All right, everyone, listen up,” Grandpa Buck said. “We need to pull together to get through this. The sheriff may have gotten a break in the case. Maybe not. But we need to support one another while we’re waitin’ to hear.”

Her mother looked as fragile as she had that first long night after Daddy and Riley Jo went missing.

“The sheriff told your mama he’d call immediately if they found anything important,” Grandpa Buck said. “We might as well try and get some sleep. There’s nothin’ we can do now but wait—and pray.”

“You can do the praying, Grandpa.” Hawk jumped to his feet. “Been there. Done that.” He stepped over to where their mother was sitting and crouched in front of her chair. “Call me if anything happens or if you want me to drive you out to the search site.”

Mama took Hawk’s hand and held it to her cheek. “I will. Try to rest.”

Hawk nodded and went upstairs.

Grandpa Buck set his glasses on the end table and leaned his head back in his chair. “I think I’ll sit here a spell.”

Jesse hugged Mama a long time, then ran upstairs without saying anything. Abby figured it was more painful for him seeing Mama upset than thinking the remains might be those of the father and sister he hardly remembered.

Abby got up and took her mother’s hand. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Mama didn’t turn loose of her hand. “Honey, I know you want the girl you saw to be Riley Jo. If only that were possible. But I think deep down, you know it isn’t. And with this new development, well … I just think we all need to be prepared for whatever Virgil finds.”

Abby shook her head. “I’m not giving up hope they’re coming home.”

“But after all this time, it’s nothing more than blind hope.”

“Or blind faith.” Abby pulled her hand away. “I’ve been praying that God would bring Daddy and Riley Jo home. The Bible says nothing is impossible with God.”

“I know, Abby. But it doesn’t say you should just ignore reality.”

“We don’t know what reality is yet. I still have faith that Daddy and Riley Jo are alive.”

“All the wishing in the world won’t bring them home, honey.”

Abby exhaled. “Faith means more than
wishing
for something. It means trusting God. He may not answer my prayers the way I want, but praying is not a waste of time. I like feeling close to Him. It’s a lot better than sitting here with no hope. And no one to talk to when you’re sad.”

“We have each other.” A row of lines formed on her mother’s forehead, and she spoke tenderly. “Isn’t it possible that God has a bigger agenda than listening to one young girl from Foggy Ridge?”

“So now you’re saying He’s not even listening?”

The vacant expression on Mama’s face said more than words ever could. Abby felt the sting of tears at the back of her throat and swallowed hard. She had to go on.

“Mama,” she said in just above a whisper, “I figured out a long time ago how you and Hawk feel about God. It’s pretty obvious.”

A flicker of defensiveness flashed in her mother’s eyes but never made it to her lips.

“I remember how hard you used to pray,” Abby said. “At first, I mean. Every single day you prayed with us that Daddy and Riley Jo would come home.” Emotion threatened to steal Abby’s voice, but she had to finish. “And then something changed. You stopped praying. Stopped going to church. Stopped saying anything positive about God, the Bible, and Christians. You never want to talk about it, but I overhear things you say, especially to Grandpa. You’re so wrong, Mama. God does listen. And He answers prayer. You have to have faith.”

“I had faith, Abby. It didn’t change a thing.”

“You gave up. That’s
not
faith.”

Her mother wiggled out of the easy chair and rose to her feet, her face flushed. “I’m not going to argue with you about conversations that were never intended for your ears.”

“Kate,” Grandpa said softly, “your daughter’s speakin’ from her heart. It can only help to get it out in the open.”

Mama stood still as a statue, her arms folded tightly across her chest, her stony, thin-lipped expression making it evident she was done listening. “Finish your thought, Abby.”

“I did.”

“Fine. I’m going to my room to be alone with my thoughts—and maybe get some rest. I would appreciate it if you and your grandfather would refrain from filling Jesse’s head full of false hope right now. The best thing for him—for all of us—is the truth.”

Abby sat in the window seat in her room and looked up at the night sky that sparkled like a showcase of diamonds spread out on black velvet.

God, are You up there? Can You hear me? Or is Mama right when she says that You don’t listen to someone like me?

Abby moved her gaze across the heavens. She knew from the Psalms that God had not only created those stars but had also given each one a name. How hard could it be for Him to bring her dad and sister home? Or to make her family happy again? The search for Ella filled that vacuum with hope, and she wasn’t going to let Mama or Hawk take that from her. Her mind wandered back to the last memory she had of Riley Jo …

“I go giddyup!” Riley Jo tugged at the back pocket of Abby’s jeans. “Pweeze?”

Abby turned around and looked into her sister’s pleading blue eyes and her angelic face. “Oh, all right. One more time. But then we have to stop. I’m going over to Staci’s for a sleepover.” Abby bent down and let her tiny two-year-old sister climb onto her back. She held tightly to the back of Riley Jo’s knees—the toddler giggling all the while—as she trotted across the backyard to the fence, and then came back to where they started.

Riley Jo nudged Abby with her legs. “Not stop. Go giddyup!”

“We have to stop now. Staci’s mom will be here any minute.” Abby let her sister slide off her back.

Riley Jo stood facing Abby, her lower lip protruding. “I go too.”

“You can’t. It’s for big girls,” Abby said. “I’ll be home tomorrow. Let’s go find Madeline, and you can keep her with you until I get back.”

Abby took Riley Jo by the hand and went into the house. They walked back to the room they shared and over to the wooden cradle Daddy had made.

Abby picked up the beautiful, lifelike baby doll that Grandpa Buck and Grandma Becca had given Riley Jo for her second birthday. “Here. Madeline will sleep with you whenever I’m not here. You don’t have to be scared. I’ll be back.” Abby kissed her index finger and pressed it to Riley Jo’s nose, evoking a giggle.

Riley Jo held the baby doll, which seemed half as big as she was, to her chest and looked up, an elfin grin on her face.

Abby gently tugged her sister’s pigtail, which was barely long enough to stay in the rubber band. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise …”

Abby felt an all-too-familiar aching in her heart. How ironic that it was Riley Jo who didn’t come home. By the time Abby returned from Staci’s the next afternoon, her daddy and sister had already gone fishing. They never returned. What she wouldn’t give to take Riley Jo on another horsey ride.

Abby wiped her tears on her pajama top, her mother’s words playing in her mind.

Isn’t it possible that God has a bigger agenda than listening to one young girl from Foggy Ridge?

Suddenly Abby felt very small. Could she be wrong about God? What if her connection to Ella was nothing more than the manufactured hope of her own desperate emotions? What if God wasn’t going to bring Daddy and Riley Jo home, and the remains turned out to be theirs? She didn’t want to end up broken and bitter like Mama.

Abby pulled her knees up and hugged them. If God didn’t do what she asked, did that mean He hadn’t listened? Did that negate His being good and approachable and caring? She didn’t have answers to any of her questions.

All she had was blind faith. Was that enough?

Chapter 12

Abby heard a ringing noise that kept getting louder and louder and finally realized it was her alarm clock. Groping the nightstand, she turned off the alarm, then sat up on the side of the bed, her legs dangling. She rubbed her eyes and groaned. Five o’clock was too early for any human being to have to get up.

She slid out of bed and walked down the hall and out into the living room. Her mother was curled up on one end of the couch, holding the phone.

“Mama,” Abby whispered. “Are you awake?”

Her mother opened her eyes and sat up. “I was just dozing.”

“Any news?”

“No, Virgil hasn’t called. I’m assuming he hasn’t discovered anything else.”

Good!
“I’m going to shower and then head over to Flutter’s,” Abby said. “If the sheriff does call, will you let me know?”

“Of course. What else are you planning today?”

“Unless we get bad news, I’m meeting Jay on the slope at noon so I can watch him sketch. He’s an amazing artist. You should see his stuff.”

“I’d like to. Have him bring some of his work to the house sometime.” Mama seemed lost in a long pause. Finally she said, “You two are spending a lot of time together.”

“It’s nice being with a guy who’s just a friend. I don’t have to try and impress him. Or doll up every time I see him.”

“You always look dolled up, honey. You’re just naturally pretty. I’m sure Jay isn’t blind.”

Abby shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. That’s not the kind of friendship we want. Jay’s mom is getting married for the fourth time, and he’s lived with her ups and downs all his life. He thinks relationships just bring heartache. I agree with him.”

“How can you say that, Abby? Your father and I had eighteen wonderful years together.”

“And it nearly destroyed you when he disappeared.”

“It would be a huge mistake to avoid loving someone because you might lose them. The joy I experienced with your father far outweighed the sorrow. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything.”

“Maybe not. But the pain of missing Daddy and Riley Jo is almost more than
I
can bear. Why would I want to be that vulnerable?”

“Not now,” Mama said. “But someday. The grief will pass.”

She wondered if her mother was saying that as much for her own benefit as her daughter’s. “I need to get ready. I’m the only waitress scheduled until seven.”

“Abby, about last night … I’d like to put it behind us. Can we agree not to get into spiritual discussions right now? I see things very differently than you and your grandfather. But I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you either.”

Her mother squeezed her hand. “Let’s forget it. You don’t need to go to work with that burden on your back.”

Too late
.