Not Looking for Love: Episode 6 (A New Adult Contemporary Romance Novel) (23 page)

He makes short work of removing his pants and pulling his shirt off. Then his weight is back on top of me, one hand holding my thighs open, the other buried in the folds between my legs. He finds the spot instantly, rubbing it gently with his thumb. I writhe and moan, gasp as first one then another of his fingers enter me. He’s kissing my neck, and a small bubble of pleasure pops inside me, its contents swallowed immediately by the second, larger one still building.
 

My panties are off now and the head of his cock is resting against my clit, hot and throbbing. He enters me just as his tongue slides into my ear. I whimper as the twin sources of pleasure collide somewhere deep in my center. He's far from taking it slow now, and I meet each of his thrusts, my back arched, my head thrown back, my nails digging into his biceps.

The bubble of heat keeps expanding, becomes a lake, an ocean, all storms swirling into one. The deluge that's coming will be devastating, and I want to feel every drop. His kiss completes the circle, and I scream into his mouth as the perfect storm crashes into me, its million, billion tiny drops of warmth filling me to the brink, overflowing.

After a few more thrusts, he comes and stops too, his cock buried deep inside me, a part of me. We stay like that for I don't know how long, just kissing, joined, the rest of the world standing perfectly still, waiting for our next move. It's like the storm washed away all my fear and doubt too, because at this moment I am beyond certain that we will never be parted again. Not in this life.

I wrap my legs around his waist as I feel him grow hard again, and he doesn't need any more urging than that. But his thrusts are slow and long this time. They feel like caresses and I close my eyes, let the warmth fill me. My hands are tracing the path from his neck, down his strong back, over the rippling muscles of his arms, completing the circle at his neck. I want to touch every inch of him, kiss every inch, and I will. Soon. Tonight, and every other night, or day.

He's kissing my breasts now and I pull him into me as his tongue finds my nipple. He bites down slightly, the sweet pain sending a jolt right to my clit. But he's not done with slow, and I don't want him to be. Ever. I am cherished and loved, and those feelings are only overshadowed by the love and devotion I feel for him.

There's a blanket of heat covering me now, growing thicker, heavier, and my breaths come in gasps, little whimpers, until it finally covers me whole and my whole body explodes in a shuddering orgasm, making the room turn a bright red before plunging all into darkness.
 

When I wake up later, Scott is propped up on one elbow beside me, his eyes soft like a warm summer night. Nothing is hidden from his gaze, and I love it.

"Couldn't sleep?" I mumble, because I'm not entirely awake yet.

"Nah, I thought I'd watch you for awhile," he says. "Besides I don't get much sleep before seven AM these days."

I scoot over and wrap my arms around him, my heart leaping in my chest as I finally hear his again. He brushes my hair off my face and kisses the top of my head before wrapping me in his arms and laying back so I can nestle into his side, resting my head right over his heart.
 

His skin is so soft and so warm, so much better than all my dreams combined.

"I could've helped you sleep. Why did you just leave me?" The words tumble from my mouth with no conscious control.
 

"I didn't think I had another choice," he says. "But you're right, it was dumb and childish. How could I possibly think I could fix anything on my own?"

There's a second where my anger at his biting tone rises to the surface, but it's gone in almost the same instant in a flash of understanding. Something I already knew finally clicks into place.

I rise up and kiss his lips softly. "You don't have to be so hard on yourself all the time. This isn't actually your fault ,and I know you were trying to protect me. It's what you've been doing from the start."

"And not succeeding at all," he says, chuckling but the sound is more akin to stone grating against stone.
 

I kiss him, deep and long, needing to wipe the black defeat from his eyes. The sadness has rejoined us and is climbing in under the covers.

"I've had a very safe and uneventful couple of months," I say. "So it's not like you failed. But it's also been a very sad and lonely couple of months."

His eyes tell me all I need to know in answer. All I already knew. His days have been no better, his nights even worse.

"It's like the Vikings used to believe," I say and smile. "The skein of our lives was woven long ago, and we're just going through the motions. And I'm sure that you and me are supposed to go through this life together. Why else would we go through all that and still want to be together?"

His upper lip curls up, the way it always does before he says something scathing, and that's all the warning I get. "Wait, are you saying that things are in fact as they are, and that we have no influence on the outcome?"

He smiles after he says it, his eyes soft like melting snow. So I know he's gonna make it alright in a minute.

"Even if the path is already laid out, it doesn't mean it's easy to find," I counter because I have actually reasoned this out to the end, on nights when I couldn't sleep either. "And the most obvious one, or the easiest one might not be the right one."

"Leaving you wasn't easy," he mutters, his eyes dimming as a dying man's might.

I hug him tight, rest my head back down against his heartbeat, because I can't look.
 

"Did you really want to kill yourself?" I ask, actually shuddering as the words leave my mouth.

"For awhile I thought it might be a solution," he says, his voice rumbling though his chest.

I squeeze him tighter, burying my hand under his back. "Don't ever even think it again, OK? Promise me you won't. No matter what."

His breath hitches right in the middle of an inhale. I know what he's seeing, because I'm seeing it too. Me dead at Mike’s hands. But Mike won't ever get near me again, and if he tries I'll be ready.
 

"Gail, you really need to think about wanting to be with me," he says and the weight laying over my chest now is so heavy it's hard to breathe. "I'm a criminal, and my brother wants to kill you. You're so much better off, if you just forget about me."

I release him and sit up, glaring down at me. But the hard look in his eyes silences my heated protest, douses it in the bud.

"I'm serious," he continues and sits up too. "I love you so much that I'll never stop hurting if we're not together, and I don't really see much of a future for myself without you, but that's just it. I don't have much of a future to begin with. Prison, if I'm lucky. And then we'll be right back where we were before you called me."

I'm shivering now, my bottom lip shaking. But I have thought about this. For the entire flight back to New York. And I made my decision.

"I love you, and I'm willing to look past all that you've done, because that's not who you really are." He starts to protest, but I silence him by laying my hand across his mouth. "No, Scott, hear me out. You're caring and kind. You've made bad choices, sure, worse than most, and you've paid the consequences. But if you want out of this life, as I know you do, then you can, and no one will convince me otherwise. You'll find a way. And I'll help you."

"How do you know I want out?" he asks over my fingers, but the gleam in his eyes is telling me he's just goading me. Probably because he likes me all riled up.
 

"Don't even try to deny it, Scott. All you've been doing is trying to run from it since I met you," I reply, removing my hand from his face.

His eyes soften again, become unfocused. "That just got a lot more impossible though."

"We'll figure it out," I say, repeating myself. "I graduate in September, and then there's nothing holding me here anymore. We can go anywhere. Do anything. Be anyone."

"And keep looking over our shoulders?" he asks, eyeing me skeptically.

"If that's what it takes," I say firmly. I have thought this out. There are a million things I could do that would make me happy. Human Rights law is just one of them. But I know I'll never be happy without Scott.

He slides his hands across my cheeks and into my hair, pulling me down for a kiss, soft and tender, yet so intense I forget where I am.

"Alright, I guess we can try, Gail," he says, and releases me. I'm not entirely satisfied with the answer, but I will let it go for now. A band of orange is forming on the horizon and soon dawn will come. A new day. The one I've been yearning for since the night he left me.

"I should go," he whispers.
 

I want him to stay, never leave this hotel room again. We could be safe here, and I suggest something to that effect, but he just laughs, the sound so much lighter now, like a soft summer breeze.
 

"I'll come back tonight," he says. 'I just have to make sure everything is still as it should be."

"How'd you get here so fast last night anyway?" I ask, watching his legs disappear into his pants, then the shirt covering his perfect chest and abs.

"I wasn't actually about to let you out of my sight," he says and smiles.
 

I slide out of bed, and wrap my arms around his waist, not sure how I'll ever let go. "Just promise me that you'll be back."

I feel very small, because that's still my biggest fear. That he'll just leave and it'll be another four months.

He kisses me, long and soft, a lot of my fear vanishing with it.

"Even when I'm not with you, I think about you all the time," he whispers.

"Well, that just won't cut it anymore." I’m teasing him, but only just.

He kisses me again and when it's over I release him, because he's all tense and I know it's time to say goodbye.
 

But even though I haven't slept much in the last forty-eight hours, I can't fall asleep after the door shuts behind him. The fear is back, minus the doubt this time, and I have no idea how to tell my Dad I'm with Scott again and convince him he needs to get 24-hour protection as soon as he returns from Syria. As if he wasn't in enough danger from his current job.
 

But he’ll understand, he has to. Because I’m not letting Scott run away from me ever again.

Other books by Lena Bourne

NOT LOOKING FOR LOVE SERIAL

Episode 1:
http://bit.ly/NLFL1

Episode 2:
http://bit.ly/NLFL2

Episode 3:
http://bit.ly/NLFL3

Episode 4:
http://bit.ly/NLFL4

Episode 5:
http://bit.ly/newNLFL5
 

Episode 6:
http://bit.ly/NewNLFL6

Episode 7: Coming May 2015

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

Thanks for reading! This story unfolds over a series of episodes in the form of short novels. The next episode of Not Looking For Love will be out in two weeks. Please sign up for my mailing list at
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to find out as soon as the next part becomes available.
 

 
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About the Author:

Lena Bourne is a young writer, but she has seen her fair share of the world, of love and loss, and all that happens in between. Now she’s here telling the stories you might otherwise have missed, which all are made up, of course, but could very well be real and true. Not Looking For Love is her first serial, a steamy New Adult romance, which will be released in five installments over the next few months.
 

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