Not Ready To Fall (2 page)

Dad died about five years ago from a heart attack, taking us all by complete shock. He was only in his mid-fifties and strong as an ox. Our mom was on husband number four. We loved her, but she wasn't the easiest person to get along with a majority of the time. This news was going to destroy her. Zane was her baby and could do no wrong. I, on the other hand, always seemed to come up short. I wouldn't necessarily say I was a disappointment to her, but she definitely didn't agree with a lot of the lifestyle choices I've chosen for myself.

After Dad had died, I took over the family business. It was struggling at the time and took a few years to get it back up and running. The economy didn't exactly help matters either. After a lot of hard work and reinvesting into the business, things with the business were finally on an upswing. It allowed me a little more freedom to go back to being in my early thirties and enjoying life.

Last year, my girlfriend, V and I split after five years together. She couldn't handle my long hours, and the fact that I actually did work for a living. She despised my calloused hands, even though I always kept my fingernails clean. There was a time where I thought that maybe she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I'm thankful every day that I didn't take that plunge. Since the split, I've had a few flings, but they knew from the get-go that I wasn't going to settle down. The harder they pushed, the further I'd drift. It never felt like the right time. I still needed to do me for a while. When I finally do decide to take that jump, it's going to be for
the one.
The one that turns my entire world upside down. But, for now I fully intend on enjoying the rest of my time as a bachelor.

Now with the news that my baby brother just died it was as if a shift happened. The job of carrying on the family name would fall on me. I reflected on a lot of things as I buried my nose in Charlotte 's hair. Not even an hour ago, she was a complete stranger to me. I knew I needed to let her go. I had to get home so I could start making phone calls, but holding her gave me a momentary sense of peace. Something that I didn't realize that I was lacking in my life. Her small frame pressed up against me, as I felt the rise and fall of her chest with each breath she took.

It was a beautiful summer night. The warmness of the air still lingered and all I felt was sadness. The kind of sadness that blanketed your soul. The heavy kind that darkened every little bit of light. It was hard to hold back the pain, and it wasn't going to be much longer until I couldn't. I didn't break. Ever. But this was one time that I felt a falter coming on. A chink in my armor. Knowing this, I took a step back and kept my hands on her elbows. Her eyes reflected the sadness of my own and her compassion was evident. It was almost cruel that she had come into my life on this day, but I had to go.

Leaning forward, I kissed her cheek and rubbed my thumb over the same spot.

"Thank you," I whispered.

She nodded and climbed into her car. I watched as she drove off, until her tail lights disappeared. Without even saying goodbye to my buddies, I climbed into my truck and made my way home. It was going to be a long night...

Charlotte

It had been three days since Jack came into her life. Three days of being in an emotional fog. Wanting to reach out, but not knowing what to say or how to say it. As much as the desperation of wanting to know if he was okay, or if he needed anything weighed on her, she shoved it down and went on with her day. At lunch time, she ate her chicken Caesar salad on the bench in front of the office and soaked in some sun. The urge to know was too much. Picking up her phone, she clicked on his contact information and held the phone to her ear as it began to ring. She thought about quickly hanging up and blaming it on an ass dial, but still she sat praying he'd pick up.

"Hello?" His deep, sexy voice answered.

"Hi Jack, it's Charlotte. I just wanted to check in on you and make sure you were holding up okay?"

The pause on the other end of the line made her question if this was the best idea. "It's been a rough few days. I got here yesterday. Drove straight through. Just finished putting the final touches on the arrangements so we can get him home." He let out a deep sigh and her heart broke for him.

"If there's anything I can do, please let me know. I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you." She wished she could reach through the phone and comfort him. 

"You're sweet. Thank you. Thanks again for the other night, not exactly one I want to remember, though."

"I completely understand. Maybe we can meet up for a drink when you're back in town? If you'd like."

"I'd like. But hey, I've gotta run, I have a million things I need to get wrapped up. Thanks for checking on me. Have a good rest of your day."

"You too."

When the call ended, she pushed the remainder of the lettuce around with her fork. She closed her eyes and tried to picture his face. The carefree one that she met before the phone call that changed everything. She'd been thinking a lot since then about life. How short it can be. She'd been so busy wallowing in pity, that she hadn't spent the time enjoying the little things. How she was lucky to have a job at a local interior design firm doing what she loved. How she was lucky to have parents that loved and supported her.

Everything seemed so dark after she was blindsided by Owen, she wasn't sure she'd be able to ever see the light again. Until she met Jack and he showed her a glimpse of the spark she'd been missing. She knew she wasn't ready to move into another relationship just yet, but there was nothing stopping them from getting to know each other a little better. She hoped he felt the same way, but there was no way to tell for sure. Jack was full of mystery.

Tossing the container into the garbage, she made her way back into the office to finish a design remodel for a recently renovated plantation home.

Jack

It was a bit of a surprise when he saw Charlotte 's name pop up on his phone. He'd went home that night, made a few calls and packed a bag before making the nineteen-hour drive from Greenville, North Carolina to Joplin, Missouri. Though they'd never have a goodbye, it didn't stop him from trying to get there as fast as possible.

From the time they were little, their dad had them doing things outdoors. By the time he was ten, he had his first dirt bike. This obsession eventually turned to motorcycles, which their mom called donor cycles. There was nothing like the thrill of being on two wheels and one with the road just cruising along. Even after the news of Zane's death, he knew there was no way that he'd be able to give up riding. His mother's words rang true though and they were able to donate some of Zane's organs. Since Zane was always eager to lend a helping hand, it seemed fitting and at least some good would come out of his loss.

Their mother, Margaret, was taking the news as expected, meaning she was coming completely unraveled. She wasn't a bad mother, but she wasn't ever in the running for mother of the year either. Their parents had divorced when Jack was eight and Zane was six. They made the choice to stay with their dad. Despite him working a lot, he always made time for them and came up with fun trips to take them on. Even if it just meant fishing on the lake near their house. Their mother, on the other hand, was very focused on herself. He realized now that growing up in a small town and marrying her high school sweetheart made her feel trapped. When they came along, it just made it harder for her. She tried her best to do right by them in her own way, and as he got older, he resented her less.

Sitting on Zane's bed, he ran his hand over the navy quilt and sighed. His thoughts shifted back to Charlotte. He'd be lying if he didn't admit to thinking about her a few times. In fact, she was quickly becoming his mind's favorite place to wander at the moment. There was something about her that captivated him. They didn't even share many words, but somehow it was comfortable. Like old friends. They definitely had chemistry, but right now he had much bigger things to focus on other than thinking with his other head.

Two weeks later...

Today was the day of the service. It was filled with a lot of the town, and even some of his friends from out West. Zane always said he wanted to be cremated because the thought of bugs crawling on him creeped him out. He wanted his ashes scattered across his favorite places. Jack intended to make that happen.

He sat in the front row of the funeral parlor next to his mom and her newest husband, Jim. The urn sat front and center, surrounded by pictures and flowers. Some people stood up and shared their favorite stories about him. He was always a prankster and the life of the party, no matter where he went. People loved him, even when they didn't want to, which was a lot of the time. He was my best friend and my partner in crime, but he had this tendency of always pushing it just over the edge. He had no filter and you never knew what was going to come out of his mouth. The thought made him smile. Going forward, nothing was going to be the same without him.

After four grueling hours of sitting there, Jack was ready to take off this monkey suit and enjoy an ice cold beer. Pulling into Binge on his Harley, he cut the engine. His mother nearly had an aneurysm when he rode it to the funeral. Just because Zane had died didn't mean that he was going to stop living. If anything, this had been a time of reflection and deep thought, something he normally shied away from.

Pushing the door open, the familiar scenery calmed him. This place was a home away from home of sorts. Taking a seat close to the door, Paulie sat a beer in front of him and waved away his money. Leaving it on the bar anyway, he took a long draw from the frosty mug. He took the time to decompress from the day. It wouldn't be long before his friends started piling in. It would be much like any other Saturday night, but it was different. Everything was different. He was too busy staring at the droplets of water sliding down the mug that the tap on his shoulder startled him. Turning to see who it was, he was surprised to see Charlotte standing there.

She looked much more casual than the last time he'd seen her. In a pair of jean cut-offs and a white ribbed tank, she looked even better than he'd remembered. And he had remembered a lot. His mind continued to wander to her since that night. He wondered what her skin would feel like pressed up against his. What her lips would taste like. Whether she liked coffee or tea with breakfast. As much as he wanted to reach out to her, he wasn't ready, and she deserved better than what he could offer at the moment.

Over the past two weeks, they'd shared a few texts back and forth getting to know each other a little better. She was so different than anyone he'd ever met before. She was smart, ambitious and knew what she wanted out of life. She exuded passion.

But like him, she also felt slightly broken.

Without hesitating, he stood and pulled her into an embrace. She smelled of lemons and sunscreen. She was a little tanner than last time, which complemented her honey-blonde hair and hazel eyes even more. Sam Hunt's
Take Your Time
played on the jukebox. Her bright, white smile lit up her face and there was nothing he wanted more than her time. He knew he should lay it all on the line first, it was the right thing to do and let it be her decision.

He pulled out a barstool and ordered her a fresh Coke, joking that she had all the Jack she needed sitting right next to her. He also didn't want anything affecting her choice.

"I was surprised to see you here," she smiled.

He placed his hand over hers, craving her contact. "We had the funeral today."

She gave his hand a squeeze. "Yeah, you said the other day that you were doing it today."

He forgot that he had mentioned it to her. "I'm just glad to have it behind me. It's been a long two weeks."

"I can't even imagine." She leaned in and placed her head on his shoulder.

"So," he hesitated. "I'm glad you're here. I've been wanting to talk to you but was waiting for a face to face." She lifted her head to look at him and waited for him to continue. "Just like the song, I want you. I want your time, but I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I know it sounds shitty and selfish, but I like you, and regardless of what your answer is I still want to be friends."

He watched as she seemed to ponder what he'd just asked of her.

She masked her surprise well. "So like friends with benefits?"

He wasn't even getting to the benefits part and was surprised that she was the one to bring it up. There was no way he was turning it down. "I guess. Something like that."

She shrugged. "I'm not ready to fall, and you're not ready to catch me. We could both use someone right now, so what the hell. We can help each other pick up our broken pieces until we're ready to move on. I'm game."

"Really?" He asked.

She grinned, almost like she was up to something mischievous. "I'll follow your lead."

Tossing a twenty on the bar, he grabbed her hand and dragged her out the door.

"Now?" She asked confused.

"Now."

CHAPTER THREE
STUCK LIKE GLUE

He wasn't giving her a chance to back out. He needed her. Now. Handing her his helmet, he revved his bike to life and watched as she climbed onto the back. Her hands laced around him, as her head rested against his shoulder. He pulled off into the crisp night air and headed back to his place. It wasn't anything spectacular, but it was home. It was where he grew up and held memories you couldn't put a price on. He'd done a few updates since his father passed away to make it more his own.

As he turned down the dirt road leading up to the house, Fireball came running out. Fireball was his German Sheppard and sidekick. Once in front of the house, he turned off the bike and waited for Charlotte to climb off. He greeted Fireball with a rough pet, as the fur ball rubbed the side of his body up against Charlotte walking around her. She leaned down to pet his head. His tail wagged like crazy. She had earned Fireball's stamp of approval.

"Nice place," she said as she followed him up the steps to the front porch.

After unlocking the door, he held it open for her. He noticed her tension, but it wasn't because she was scared. Since that first night, it was obvious that they had chemistry. Walking from room to room, he gave her a quick tour, which ended up in his bedroom.

"You can back out at any time. I don't want you doing anything you don't want to do."

"I trust you." She all but whispered. It was all he needed to hear.

Taking two steps toward her, their chests were pressed against each other.

"I'll make sure you don't regret it."

Lifting his hand, he placed it gently on the side of her face and leaned down to kiss her. The second their lips touched, he knew it was going to be worth it. His free hand wandered down the curve of her hip and stopped on the swell of her ass. He loved all parts of the female body, but nothing beat a nice, round ass in his opinion. Her hands laced around the back of his neck as she pulled him closer deepening the kiss. This surprised him.

Charlotte was timid and cautious by nature. He wasn't about to complain though. He slowly walked her backward until the backs of her legs touched the bed. He gently sat her on the edge of the bed and unlaced her sneakers. She sat back on her elbows and watched him with a sly grin on her face. From their previous talks, he knew that Owen was her first and only. He wanted to give her a better experience than that douchebag ever could. It was his personal mission to make sure no man after him would be able to live up to what he was about to give her.

He lifted his t-shirt up, exposing his chest and tossed it into the hamper next to his dresser. He wasn't in crazy good shape at the moment, but doing manual labor for a living did have its advantages. His erection was already begging to burst free, but there was still time. He needed to taste her first. As he undid the button to her jean shorts, his mouth started to water. He slid them down her tanned legs, pulling her hot pink panties with them, exposing her bare pussy. Her excitement was evident and as their eyes locked, he lowered his head swiping his tongue around her core. She placed her hands on his head as he got to work. With one hand on her hip, he used the other to tease her entrance with his finger. He couldn't believe how soaked she already was.

The liquid honey between her thighs coated his tongue. Her taste could easily become an addiction to him. He gently nibbled on her clit in between doing soft circular motions and flicks of the tongue. Her walls were tightening around his finger, and he knew she was close to the edge. Sliding two fingers deep inside her, he massaged her as he assaulted her clit with his tongue. Her back hit the bed as she rode his face coming apart around him. She moaned his name, and he swore he'd never heard anything as sexy.

As selfish as it was, he didn't want to give her a chance to come down from her high and change her mind. He wanted to claim her. He wanted her to be his. Grabbing a condom from the end table, he quickly stripped out of his jeans and lifted her shirt over her head. Lying naked on his bed, she was perfection. Sliding his arm under her back, he moved her up the bed and situated between her thighs before lining himself up with her heat. They didn't need to talk. Their bodies did all the talking.

Her nails dug into his arms as he slowly slid inside her. Inch by inch, he filled her. Her back arched as a small O formed around her lips. Once balls deep, he began to move in and out. Slow at fist, letting her get adjusted before digging his thumbs into her hips and that's when it happened. His euphoria. She let out a loud moan, completely soaking him. She tried to scramble off the bed, but he leaned down and kissed her hard. Mission accomplished.

"Just let it go, baby. You're perfect."

She seemed to relax slightly, as her hesitation diminished. He continued worshipping her body, her mouth, almost in awe. He thought she was the most beautiful thing and the fact that she was here with him right now made him feel lucky. She filled some void, even if it was only temporary. He wanted to enjoy every second, in case he never got another chance. She was so hot, so tight, so wet, so receptive to him.

Charlotte

Completely shocked and embarrassed by what had just occurred, she wanted to hide. On the other hand, there was something about Jack. Something from the time they met that made her feel like she'd known him forever. A certain level of comfort. His hands ran up her sides, as he commanded her body to relax. She did. His eyes met hers and she felt the ease wash over her, as he continued to move again. His thumbs digging into her hips. Their bodies responding to one another in the most intense way. To her, his body was perfect. Strong, hard and very masculine. She focused on his face. His shaved head. His chiseled cheekbones, strong nose and piercing green eyes. The eyes she swore saw more of her than she wanted them to. He was taking her guard down and she didn't like it. By even being here right now, she knew he tossed her inhibitions out the window.

Every touch was bringing her closer to the edge. His thrusts became more demanding. Taking her hand, he placed it on her clit and gave her a knowing look. She did as he asked, as his hands returned to her hips there was no holding back. With a growl coming from low in his throat, they went over the edge together and it happened again. It was no ordinary orgasm. It was extraordinary.

"Perfection." He murmured into her lips as he kissed her softly.

He stood, removing the spent condom and placing it in the trash before taking up residence in the bed next to her. Her hands reached for his head and started rubbing small circles. It had never been like that with Owen. This was the intense sex that was written about in smutty novels and watched in porn. She wondered how he'd become so experienced, but quickly pushed the thought aside. Now he was here with her, and for the time being that was going to have to be good enough.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking up at her.

"I'm good." And she was. At least she felt good.

"You're good, good." He laughed.

She continued massaging his head and before long he drifted to sleep. She hadn't planned on staying the night, but she also didn't have her car. She grabbed his t-shirt from the hamper and pulled it over her head. Climbing back into bed, she turned onto her side and drifted off.

Jack

At four-thirty, Jack woke up to pee and realized that Charlotte was curled up on her side wearing his tee. Her hair was strewn across the pillow and she looked like an angel with the moonlight shining on her face. Last night went better than he could have anticipated. The way her body responded to his was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. This was turning into dangerous, uncharted territory real fucking fast.

Knowing the morning after a one-night stand was always a little awkward, he was dreading losing the feeling of peace he felt when she was around. She was everything he wasn't. He was bold and in no way ready to let any kind of emotion into his life. When he met Charlotte, he knew she was different. A good different. He never felt pressured with her. She was easy going, seemed stable and was happy with whatever he gave of himself to her.

Normally, girls tried sinking their blood-soaked claws into him right away. They'd pretend to be these great girls that wanted the same things he did, only to turn around and be everything but. After his last love had gone downhill, he swore off dating to do his own thing. No need for a ball and chain when life was good. As much as he enjoyed time with Charlotte, he wanted it with no strings attached. No promise of commitment. He needed to make sure she understood the rules. The thought of her turning out like the other girls made his stomach turn. He was left wondering how she was going to feel about it, and if she still felt the same way after last night. He suddenly worried he was going to lose her altogether.

Knowing going back to bed wasn't going to happen, he went into the kitchen and started brewing a pot of coffee. His mind started wandering. Losing his brother had taken its toll on him, more than he would let himself realize. There was no breaking down in his eyes. You stayed the course, no matter how awful things got.

He sat at the kitchen table pondering everything. He was busy at work and that helped pass the days. Sunday's were for drinking, and overall he felt content with his life. There was no changing who he was, not at this point. Charlotte must have woken up because she stood in front of him. Even he had to admit, she looked adorable all sleepy.

"Good morning." He smiled.

"There's nothing good about mornings," she grumbled.

She walked over to the counter and poured a cup of coffee. Her hair sticking in several directions. Her perfect ass hanging out from under his t-shirt. He wanted to take her again, and wondered how willing she'd be. Needing her at least one more time before he put what he wanted on the line, he walked up behind her and lowered his lips to her neck. She smelled like vanilla, whiskey and him. A heady sensory cocktail.

His body pressed up against her back, she turned her head to the side to give him better access. His tongue ran along her collarbone, up her neck, to her ear. "I'm going to fuck you here, over the kitchen counter. Hard." His hand caressed her ass, sliding down to her heat. He loved that she was so receptive to him.

He hardened with anticipation. He pulled her roughly, almost violently to him. Her hand wrapped around the back of his neck, as her back arched. As he sprung free from his boxer briefs, he entered her in a swift motion. A loud moan escaped her full lips. His hand wrapped around her neck, as he slid two fingers into her mouth and began to thrust. He took her with reckless abandon, her juices drenching him. Each movement sending him closer to the edge. Finally, he couldn't hold out any longer.

Pulling himself from her, he sat her on the counter. Sucking in a deep breath, Jack steadied his thoughts. He knew they somewhat already agreed on just being friends with benefits, but the need to clarify it was stronger after what had transpired with their connection. It was so strong it even took him back.

"I think you are amazing, but with everything I have going on right now, I can't offer you more than a no strings attached kind of thing. It has nothing to do with you, or what the future possibly holds. I just don't want you to end up resenting me for being emotionally unavailable if it keeps going."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure that no strings attached is guy code for you're emotionally retarded, but your vagina sounds neat. I'm only kidding. I get it. You know I just got out of a long-term relationship and I'm trying to put my own pieces back together." Her facial expression didn't quite match her words. She seemed hurt.

He wasn't sure whether to take her word for it, or just stop it now. With all these thoughts crossing his head, it was time for pancakes.  

CHARLOTTE

Something was definitely off with Jack, she could feel it. His guard was up and he was on the defensive. She wondered if she'd done something wrong. She began doubting herself. After what Owen had done, she was left with a lot of self-doubts. She never really lacked confidence, but in a lot of ways she never felt like she measured up either. She had almost hoped whatever was transpiring between her and Jack, that it would help her find it. He exuded so much confidence, it was contagious. Fearing the worse, she headed back to the bedroom to get herself together and collect her things.

When she came back out, he sat at the breakfast bar with a plate of pancakes stacked in front of him. There was another plate next to him. He looked confused when he saw her.

He pushed the pancakes toward her.

"I'm not hungry, but thank you."

He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead just shrugged and continued eating. Her stomach sank and turned. She wished she had her car, so she could just go home and have a threesome with Ben & Jerry. Instead, she was forced to sit here and watch him eat pancakes in his boxer briefs.

In less than a half hour, everything had gone from fine to horrible.