Not Ready To Fall (4 page)

"I think I'm going to need another."

She patted my arm and made it to the other side of the bar. I took some more money out of my wallet and left it on the counter. I let what she said sink in. Charlotte was everything I ever thought I wanted in a wife. She was smart and easy on the eyes. She'd make a great mother and was an awesome friend. As far as women went, she was pretty much a unicorn. She had her moments, but she was human. She was scared. Owen had really done a number on her and she was apprehensive about putting herself out there again to get hurt. Unknowingly, she had given me the ability to hurt her without me even realizing it. What's even worse is, I think I did hurt her. I needed a chance to really think about what was best for both of us.

I made it back to North Carolina just in time for Colt's bachelor party. We currently sat in the back of the limo after a night of fun. They had been ribbing on me all night about bringing a date to the wedding. They were settling down. Some of them either had kids or one on the way. I wanted it, but I was enjoying my freedom too. My head swam since I had way too much Jager for my own good. As much as I tried to avoid it, my thoughts kept going to Charlotte.

Since that night at the bar, I had done everything possible to avoid texting or calling her. She was so fucking pretty. A bitch, but a pretty great bitch. Nothing held my interest like she did. Not even strippers. My mind always ended up thinking about the hazel eyed, honey blonde that turned my world upside down. It was like a light bulb went off in my head and suddenly things started clicking together.

I needed to somehow convince her to go with me as my plus one and with any luck become my plus one. My work was going to be cut out for sure. 

CHARLOTTE

Today was a long one. This plantation reno ended up being a much bigger project than we originally anticipated, and I was working twelve hour days in order to meet the deadline. They wanted to stick with as much original feel as possible, so I was trying to source materials from all over. I was looking forward to opening up the bottle of wine I just picked up at the liquor store and taking a long bath.

Pulling into my parking spot, I was shocked to see none other than Jack sitting on my steps. I let out an audible groan because this was the last thing I felt like dealing with right now. First, I loathed unannounced company. Second, I was just getting over getting over him again. Something about him always lingered in my subconscious, but we were all wrong for each other. Which isn't entirely true, we'd actually be good together if we weren't so stubborn. I knew he was still dealing with losing Zane in his own way, but I kept getting hurt. It wasn't entirely intentional, but enough to know I needed to put a stop to it before any more emotion went into it.

Grabbing my bag and the bottle of wine, I stepped out of my car. He stood and put his hands in his pockets. His eyes intent on my every move.

"Jack," I greeted.

"Hey," he hesitated.

I was not in the mood for his games. "Is there a reason you're here?"

Stepping past him, I headed up the steps to my front door. Like a lost puppy he followed. Holding the door open, I begrudgingly let him in. I headed straight to the kitchen and grabbed a corkscrew and a wine glass. After pouring it almost to the brim, I took a long, satisfying sip and waited for him to speak.

"Listen, I don't know what's going on, or why you acted the way we did the last time I was here, but I still miss you. You pop into my head constantly and I hate it, but I can't shake you. I've tried. I'm a mess. Everything is starting to suffer. Work, social life, everything. I've tried staying away because I thought it was best, but why should we keep punishing ourselves, Char? It's inevitable that we're gonna end up together and have three kids. Two boys and a girl." He smiled at the thought and I debated tossing the wine glass at his head, but what did the wine ever do to me?

"You're unbelievable, you know that? It's been three weeks and nothing. Not even as much as a, hey Char how's it going? Now you show up and just expect me to be like, sure Jack that's a great idea. It's not gonna happen." Crossing my arms over my chest, I glared at him.

"I knew it wasn't going to be that easy, which is why I have a plan. You'll need to change though. We're going on a date."

"I'm not going anywhere with you," I practically spat.

"Listen doll, you can either go get dressed in what you want, or I'm gonna pick you up, toss you over my shoulder and take you anyway. Don't make it harder than it has to be." He grinned.

As much as I wanted to dig my heels into the ground, seeing his face tossed everything aside. I wanted to go, but I wasn't going to let him know that.

"Fine, but it's been a very long day and I have to be at the office early."

Heading to my bedroom, I stripped out of my skirt and took my top off as I walked down the hall making sure he got a good view before slamming the bedroom door shut. Two can play at this game.

JACK

Score! She gave up with much less of a fight than I was expecting. In truth, I thought I was going to have to resort to my caveman skills and drag her along for the ride. Then I had to control myself as I watched her do a mini striptease walking down the hall.
Fuck me.
She had on thigh highs with garters. Double fuck me. Her perfect ass sashayed before turning the corner and I heard the door slam. I needed to keep it in my pants. At least for the time being.

She came out wearing a white t-shirt, jean skirt and flip flops looking like she could be on the cover of a magazine. My heart sped up. She grabbed her purse and stood by the door waiting for me to leave so she could lock up. It was an almost two-hour drive to where we were going and I had just enough time to get us there before the sun would start to set.

I headed to the passenger side of my truck and opened the door watching as she climbed in. Her skirt hiking up even further up her thigh. Her perfect long, tanned legs were their own work of art. She still didn't look very happy, as she buckled and crossed her arms over her chest. I had hurried to the driver's side before she had a chance to make a run for it. The Denali's diesel engine roared to life. I pulled out and put it in drive, hitting the accelerator and throwing us back in our seats. A small smile played on her lips and just as quickly her mask was back. I wanted to reach over and place my hand on her thigh so bad. Instead, I death gripped the shifter and kept my eyes on the road.

She reached to the dash and turned the radio up, before turning her attention out the window. I wasn't going to tell her where we were going, but she'd find out soon enough. I had been up all night thinking of what I wanted to do to make it a special night and try and win some of her trust back. All the supplies I needed were hidden safely in the back of the cab. I grinned.

What she didn't know is I made a mix CD for the ride. The first song was, Black Stone Cherry's
All I'm Dreaming Of.
I kept sneaking glances at her as she soaked in the lyrics. The more I thought about it, I was going to lose her before either of us ever gave it a fair chance. She was everything that I wanted, more than that she was exactly what I needed. I wasn't so sure I was going to be able to be what she needed though. As much as I wanted to change my ways, I loved my life. I was beyond torn. Everything felt better when she was by my side. Even when she was on my mind, I was happier. It hit me like I'd never been hit before. Out of the blue, unexpected, and all around life altering.
Could I really take the leap?

The next song was Dierks Bentley
Hurt Somebody.
She sat and played with a fray at the bottom of her skirt. My hand with a mind of its own reached over and onto hers. Her small hands were so soft and delicate compared to my large, calloused ones. I waited for her to react. Instead, she just stilled. The miles flew by as the warm summer air blew her hair around. The smell of her shampoo filling the space. The song switched to Florida Georgia Line's
Like You Ain't Even Gone
and she finally turned to look at me. She seemed like she was hesitating saying something, then her mouth closed and she turned her attention back out the window. My heart sank. I was fucked. She was already gone.

CHARLOTTE

For some reason, whether I was just exhausted or over emotional, I felt on the verge of tears. Why did he have to be so complicated? His hand in mine, us together made so much sense. He fought it so hard that my walls were back in place. It wasn't going to be an easy thing for him to knock them down again.

"Jack," I paused. He looked over at me intently between looking at the road. "This isn't some game we're going to keep playing. My heart is not a chess piece. I've been more than understanding with everything you've been going through, but I keep getting tossed aside. You'll ignore or placate me, just to keep the emotional level down and I can't keep going back and forth. I was more than willing to try the friends with benefits thing, no strings attached to try and get to know one another better. To see if it's something we even wanted to pursue. All you keep doing is pushing me away and I don't understand why! It's frustrating and hurtful." I felt myself start to falter, so I stopped talking.

"I don't know why I do it, and you're not exactly Miss Innocent in all of this either. You're just as guilty of pushing me away. Face it, we're a mess. I just want one more chance. The truth is, I don't have the time to give you what you deserve. I just can't commit to a relationship right now. I'm not saying I'll never be ready, but work is stupid busy. I'm willing to try, baby steps, but that's the best I can offer. I feel like an asshole even asking you to sacrifice that much, but I want you. You make me so happy, I'm almost sad. I know that probably doesn't even make sense."

I tried to hide my sadness about what he was telling me.  "I get it. I feel the same way. It's like I love to hate you. Some days I want to push you off a cliff, just to rush to the bottom to save you. But in all seriousness, I need you to decide whether you either want me or you don't. Then, stay or leave."

The Band Perry's
I Saw A Light
came on. This song was one that I thought of when I thought of us. Like being at the right place at the same time. The chemistry that flowed between us. It was almost cruel that we met when we did, but I couldn't help but think there was a larger purpose. Just then he pulled off the exit toward the beaches. He shifted into four-wheel drive and onto the sand. He parked next to a lifeguard stand. Hopping out of the truck, he stood the stand up and ran to take my hand and help me out of the truck. I gave him a perplexed look. I stood there waiting, as he rifled through the backseat of the truck pulling out a basket and a blanket.

He took my hand and pulled me to the lifeguard chair. He helped me climb up and followed as we took a seat. The sun was just about to set and the ocean breeze was cool. Wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, he proceeded to put his arm around me, pulling me close. We were the only ones here. The only sounds were the waves crashing. The electricity between us was something neither of us was denying. Just his proximity sent a current racing through my veins. The sun was fading beyond the horizon and I relished in the peacefulness. I knew we needed to talk, but right now I just wanted to enjoy the moment. I turned to look at him, but he was already looking at me. The fire that burned in his eyes when he looked at me sent shockwaves to my core.

Fuck it... I hadn't had sex since the last time we did. I haven't even been able to get off. Stupid asshole turned my vagina into a damn traitor. She only wanted to work for him. Surprise crossed his face, as I moved to straddle his waist. I lowered my lips to his. It was time to let our bodies do the talking, and this time I was going to be in control. His hand lowered and hiked my skirt up to my hips. His thumb found my clit and did slow, deliberate circles as his other hand found my nipple. I reached down and unzipped his jeans, freeing his erection. His manhood was perfection, the right amount of everything and I needed him. Now more than ever.

Sitting up, I glided him up and down my slick heat before lining him up with my entrance and slowly lowering myself down onto him. A low growl escaped his lips, as he picked up his pace rubbing me. I was already so close that it wouldn't be long before I'd be spiraling over the edge into the bliss that only he could provide. Our bodies were so in tune with one another. It's like we faded into one. His hand lifted up my shirt and exposed my chest. He took a nipple into his mouth and began teasing it with his teeth. I lost it. I came hard and fast. "Jack," I moaned.

"Give it to me, baby. Cover me. Let me feel you."

My back arched as I picked up my pace, riding him hard. His hand moved from my clit to my stomach and before long I was soaking him. His pants were going to be wet, but that seemed to be the furthest thought from his mind. "Fuck," he growled. "I'm gonna cum, baby!" His hands dug into my hips as we locked eyes.

With reckless abandon, I fucked him as hard as I could. My body ready to release with his one last time, we went over together. We had stayed like that for a minute before I climbed off and covered myself with the blanket.

"What are you doing to me, Char?" He asked, running his hand through his beard.

I sighed. "I'm not doing anything. This is just as hard and new for me. I don't think you get that."

"Your affect on my emotions is stronger than with anyone before you. It's almost to the point of insanity. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I'm also not used to giving any part of myself away. I haven't in a long time and I still don't feel ready. I'm going to end up hurting you and that's going to kill me. You're going to end up hating me, if you don't already."

"You can't change the way you are. I don't want to change who you are. We learn to adapt. You don't know unless you try, but I'm not going to push you. If you want this, it has to be your choice. For now, I think we just need to take it at face value. We're friends. We need to get to know each other better. I already love you Jack, but you need to earn me."