Not That Kind of Girl (22 page)

“Of course I knew what Roxie does. I just discovered that Sondra knows her, too, however.” Eli glanced at Roxie and offered a crooked smile. “You’re famous.”

Roxie let out a mewl of distress.

“Well.” Carole grabbed her plate, utensils, and wine glass and went into the kitchen. Eli followed her.

Sondra collapsed into her chair, sighing with great satisfaction. “It is a real honor to meet you, Roxie.” She raised her wine glass.

Roxanne tried to smile.

“But you know we’ve got a situation here, right?” Sondra leaned forward on her elbows. “I mean, truly, my brother isn’t one of those guys. He’s honest and decent and trustworthy.”

Roxie nodded. “I’m learning that about him.”

“Plus he’s really cute.”

“I know,” Roxanne said.

Sondra smiled. “Good. As long as we’re clear on that, then I’m cool with everything.”

It took a few moments before Eli and his mother returned to the table. Carole tried her best to offer Roxanne a brave smile. “It was nice meeting you,” she said, slipping her purse strap from the chair. “I think we should head home, Sondra. We should probably give them some time alone. I’m sure they have a lot to sort out.”

Sondra shrugged and got up from the table, taking her dishes into the kitchen. A few moments later, Eli and Roxanne walked them out to their trucks. Sondra’s chocolate Lab jumped into the front seat with her.

Roxanne had to give Carole credit—she’d remained pleasant enough, even though she probably hated Roxie’s guts. And understandably so. If Roxanne ever had kids, she sure wouldn’t want her boy hanging out with someone like herself.

Carole drove away first. “We’ll swing by later this week, but we’ll call ahead!” Sondra waved as she drove off. “You two crazy kids have fun!”

Roxanne stood in the dirt, surrounded by the darkest kind of dark she’d ever experienced, and shuddered. Eli slipped a strong, warm arm around her shoulders, pulling her tight against him.

“That sure was exciting,” Eli said.

Roxanne didn’t say anything. She suddenly felt quite sad. The idea that Eli’s mom hated her didn’t sit right, and she’d never once given a damn what anyone thought of her or the way she lived her life.
Ever.

Roxanne took a deep breath of the cold air and looked around at the strange shadows and shapes surrounding her, figuring that people in Utah must not put a premium on outdoor lighting. A shiver went through her that had nothing to do with the chill. “Where’s Lilith?” she asked.

“Let’s find out.” Eli let go with one of his quick, high-pitched whistles, and Roxie immediately heard the canine stampede coming their way. She anxiously scanned the group, looking for Lilith. She found her in between a little terrier and the dog with the wolf snout. Her tail wagged and her eyes sparkled in the dark.

“I want her to sleep inside tonight,” Roxanne said.

“Oh, everybody sleeps inside around here,” Eli said. “The pack needs to share a den with the leader, right?” He walked Roxanne back up the steps and through the front door. Only after he’d made a gesture with his hand did all the dogs follow them inside.

“I know you’re tired,” Eli whispered into her ear, leading her down the hallway to her guest room.

“Exhausted.”

They stood in the bedroom doorway, where he turned her to face him. A small smile played on Eli’s lips but his eyes were intense. Roxie’s whole body began to hum as her brain went wild with competing thoughts.
I shouldn’t have come here. I love the way Eli’s touch feels. So what if his mother hates me? God, I just want to go home. It’s so pretty here. Thank God he didn’t assume I’d sleep with him. Why didn’t he want to sleep with me? Is there something wrong with me?

But all that stuff was nothing compared to the horrible thought that had been lodged in Roxie’s mind since Eli began describing his search for his biological father. She hadn’t had the guts to ask him then, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep until she did.

“There’s something I absolutely have to know right now,” she said. Roxie was aware that her voice sounded shaky.

“Sure. Anything.”

“Does the name Raymond Sandberg mean anything to you?”

Eli frowned. “Should it?”

Roxie groaned with relief. Then she laughed at herself, embarrassed. “That’s excellent news.”

“What’s all this about?” Eli gave her a smile but his eyes were concerned.

“Oh, I had the most horrible thought on the drive here, but if I tell you, you’re going to know how much of a spaz I really am.”

Eli laughed. “I already know. Who’s Raymond Sandberg?”

“He’s my pig-faced ex.”

“Ah. So why did you think I’d recognize the name?”

She shook her head and looked at her socks. “You know how you told me I shouldn’t expect the worst possible outcome with stuff?”

“I remember.”

Roxie raised her eyes to him. “Well, when you were telling me about all the men you’d gone to in an effort to find your biological father, and how you had just one man left on your list, I had this horrible thought …”

“Oh, Jesus, Roxanne.” Eli closed his eyes. “That
is
horrible.”

“Yeah. Crazy. But it’s not completely out of left field, you know. I think Raymond was at Berkeley Law about the same time your mom was on campus. It’s not outside the realm of possibility.”

Eli slipped his arms around Roxie and pulled her tight. “Roxanne. The last guy left on my list is a Palo Alto accountant named Arnie Weatherholder. And I’m happy to report that my mother didn’t have sex with
every
male on UC Berkeley campus. But then, she was only there one year.”

Roxanne hugged him tight, resting her cheek against the warmth of his chest. She was suddenly, completely relaxed. And so tired she could hardly stand.

“With that good news, I should let you get some rest,” Eli said. He held Roxie in front of him then lowered his mouth to hers, giving her the gentlest kiss—so tender and respectful—while he tilted her chin with his fingertip.

Roxie melted. An embarrassing groan came from deep in her throat. She wanted more. Why hadn’t Eli ever kissed her again in the way he had at the paddock, or at the park? Why had all his kisses since been so cautious?

Once he ended the kiss, his smoky green eyes smiled down at her. “We’ll start in the morning.”

“Start what?” she asked, licking her lips.

Eli laughed softly. “Working with Lilith.”

“Oh.” Roxie swiveled her head to find Lilith already curled up in a ball on the guest room floor. “We’re doing really good, aren’t we?”

“We are,” he said, grinning. “But I have a feeling that good is just the beginning.”

Chapter 13

When it was still dark outside, Eli padded down the hallway in thick woolen socks, his entourage clattering along with him. Eli heard Lilith whine and scratch at the guest room door, wanting to join her new friends, so he let her out. He couldn’t resist a quick peek in at Roxie, but all he could see was a fall of dark hair and one slender hand hanging over the edge of the bed—the rest of her was buried under a mound of quilts. He smiled as he closed the door, figuring she must have raided the hall closet in the middle of the night searching for warmth.

Maybe soon, she wouldn’t need extra blankets to keep her warm—because she’d have him.

Eli let the dogs out and made a pot of coffee. Within minutes he was out on the front porch sipping from his favorite pottery mug, hoping Roxanne packed the way he’d advised her to. It was colder than usual for a May morning in southern Utah.

Eli’s eyes moved from one wonder to the next. To the east was the first glow of orange sun coming over the Cedar Breaks. To the west were the dark purple remnants of night, just about ready to fade away. He observed the steam of his breath and beverage rising into the morning chill.

This was what he loved about his home—the stillness, the peace, the magnificence he found in the simplest things. He couldn’t wait to share it all with Roxie.

But he wouldn’t delude himself. He had no idea if the woman buried under three quilts in his guest room would take to this world—his world. She might. But she very well might not. Like everything else about Roxie Bloom, it was something that couldn’t be forced.

He’d tried to explain that to his mother last night. He told her that Roxie had issues but that her career didn’t diminish all the wonderful things he saw in her. “Man-hating is just a stop on the road, not her destination,” he’d assured his mother. She hadn’t seemed convinced.

That was when he tried to change the subject by telling her that Milt-in-Your-Mouth was the latest to be eliminated. Bad move. She’d glared at him as if he’d slapped her. “How many more do you have on that list, Eli?”

“Just one. The nerdy math major who lived in your dorm.”

She’d nodded curtly. “I can’t
wait
for this to be over, Eli. Not for my sake, but for yours.” She’d put her hand on his cheek. “You’ve been through so much. This crazy business in San Francisco has brought you nothing but more disappointment.”

“And Roxanne,” he pointed out.

His mother gave him a tight smile. “Then there’s that.”

Eli sighed, watching his breath rise and disappear. He didn’t want Roxanne to change for him or his mother or anyone else in the world. In fact, she didn’t have to change at all. But she’d come to him tired of the fight. She’d said she wanted her dog to be happy and her life to be peaceful. That would require change, and it was Eli’s job to help her get to where she wanted to go.

He brought the mug to his lips for another sip, feeling the liquid warm his insides all the way down to his toes. He had to admit that Roxanne’s struggle was a fascinating process to observe. She seemed incapable of hiding her internal battle—each twist and turn of thought was written on her face, especially when it came to Eli himself.
She was interested. No, she wasn’t. She was willing. She was afraid. She thought she’d be safe with him. No, wait—you never can tell with men
.

It was like watching an emotional wrestling match televised right there in her pretty dark eyes.

Eli observed the dogs break out into small groups for their morning rounds, Lilith finding a place for herself without even the slightest hint of drama. The dog was already coming into her own. Her owner would have to catch up.

Eli tapped the toe of his boot onto the porch floor, thinking. The biggest challenge he’d face from here on out would be with himself, he knew. He wanted Roxanne. Bad. And the strength it took for Eli to keep his kisses nonthreatening—and his raging hard-on in check—was nearly superhuman. And as he’d told her up front, he was only a man.

But if what he said last night was true—if good was only the beginning for them—then he’d have to be patient. He could have her rolling around in his bed with him before lunchtime, if that’s what he wanted. But even if things went smoothly, that first time together would also be their last. Roxie would decide she’d been manipulated—yet again—and Eli would only provide further proof that men were scum and not to be trusted. She’d end up adding Eli to her most reviled list. He might even be named Jerk-of-the-Week!

He turned just in time to catch it—the instant the night gave way to morning with a flash of light. He looked out at a suddenly altered landscape, aware that this was the way of all things. In an instant, everything could change. It was a thin line that separated one reality from the next.

It would be that way with Roxanne and him. And then there’d be no turning back.

As Eli headed down the steps to watch the light spread out over the land, his thoughts floated back to the dream he’d had last night. It was a typical man dream—big on sensation and short on plot. He and Roxie had hiked down from the southern ridge and ended up at Snow Creek hot spring. They got naked and immersed themselves in the water. Eli found a ledge to sit on. Roxie straddled him. He felt as if he’d shatter into a billion shards of pleasure as he pushed up inside her, his hands gripping her water-slick body, his lips and tongue conquering her mouth. He’d woken up then, so frustrated he’d nearly jumped out of his skin.

Eli took such an enthusiastic gulp of coffee that some of it spilled down the front of his denim jacket. He laughed at his clumsiness, deciding he better take a few minutes to center himself. No woman had ever knocked him off balance from the get-go the way Roxie had. No woman had ever made him feel so alive. It was as wonderful as it was terrifying.

He’d need to wake her up soon so he could introduce her to the rhythm of life on the ranch. Each day started with an early-morning hike. That was followed by breakfast, for both man and beast, then quiet time for reflection, meditation, or reading—all before he even thought about work. Sondra called it “living on monk time,” but she followed something quite similar at her own place. Eli always believed that if your morning was peaceful—pornographic dreams aside—the rest of the day would flow.

“It’s beautiful here.”

Eli swung his head around to see Roxie on the porch, still buried in a quilt. He laughed. “Beautiful in a cold way, right?”

She nodded. “No kidding. I nearly froze my butt off last night.”

Eli headed back up the porch toward his houseguest, thinking that particular loss would be a national tragedy. “We have a typical desert climate here—warm during the day and cooler at night.” He stood next to her. “I’ll turn the heat on for you if you’d like.”

Her dark eyes darted toward him, and he could see that the day’s wrestling tournament was already in full swing in her head. The closer he came, the more she fought with herself. Eli had left a few inches of space between them—for her comfort, not his. He’d rather get inside that quilt with her. Then get horizontal. And naked. He cleared his throat. “Feel free to grab some coffee if you’d like, but you should get dressed. We’re going on a hike.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Now?” She looked around. “But it’s, like, six in the morning.”

“Yup.” Eli flipped open the flap of his jacket pocket and pulled out one of his short and thin nylon training leashes. “We’ve got a lot of work to do.”