NOT What I Was Expecting (17 page)

Luke took one also
and said, “They definitely have the hot-and-spicy thing going on with the crab
fingers, don’t they?” 

Wimp, I was
thinking in response but fortunately was busy guzzling my drink to put the fire
out and said nothing.

Hannah turned up
again to ask Luke if he needed anything.  “Actually I think we’ll go ahead and
order dinner,” he said quickly and turned to me, “if that’s okay with you?”

I nodded agreement
since I was busy concentrating on getting the little glass on the little
coaster that sat on our little table at that particular moment.  There!  I did
it!  When I looked up, Luke and Hannah were both staring at me, and I realized
Hannah had just asked a question.  Since she had only been speaking to Luke so
far, I wasn’t really paying attention, but she must have just asked me if
everything was okay.  “Yes, great – thanks,” I replied carefully. 

“Okay, I’ll go put
in your food order and be right back with your drink,” Hannah announced as she
marked her pad and turned toward the kitchen.

Our drink?  I looked
at Luke’s drink that had only a few sips missing and wondered why she was
bringing him another drink.  After another minute or two I discovered
our
drink was actually
my
drink.  I started giggling when I realized she
must have been asking me if I wanted another drink when I thought she was
asking me if everything was all right.  I found it a little funny but not
that
funny, so why was I still giggling?

“Why don’t you let
me order you a soft drink or some coffee?  I’m feeling bad about ordering such
a strong drink when you haven’t had any food lately,” Luke said looking at me
all concerned.

Oh, no you don’t. 
You don’t get to think I can’t handle my liquor when I happen to be doing a
great job of hiding how hard this stuff is hitting me.  I took a deep breath,
made a point of speaking slowly so my lips could keep up, and said, “I
appreciate your concern, but really, I’m fine.  I just thought of something
funny, and you know how once you have something like that in your head you
can’t get rid of it until you go ahead and laugh, and everyone wonders what
you’re laughing at, and then you feel silly because they don’t know what’s
going on in your head, and you laugh a little more ‘cause it’s kind of
embarrassing?” I rambled for a while.

As I watched Luke
try to come up with a response to that, I felt satisfied with myself that I had
made it through the whole thing without slurring any words.

“Okay,” Luke
finally answered, still looking at me carefully.  “I’m not sure I followed that
but it seemed to make sense to you, so I guess you’re holding up better than I
thought.  Uh, here is your other drink,” Luke winced as Hannah put the drink in
front of me.

“Hannah,” Luke
addressed our server hopefully.  “Do you know how long until the food is
ready?”

I think she answered
him, but I couldn’t tell you what she said.  I found myself making an extra
effort to focus on every little thing I was doing, and at the moment locating
the ladies room took the highest priority.  As I looked down the hall that ran
past the stage, I spotted a sign sticking out from the wall with the universal
symbol for ladies room – the little lady in the blue dress with no face.  I was
very happy to see her and even more anxious to go visit her.

I very gracefully
said, “Would you excuse me while I go to the ladies room?”

Luke immediately
stepped out of the booth and backed out of the way which allowed me to slide to
his end, stand up, trip on the step as I exited our booth, and fall flat on my
face.  The first thing I heard after I tasted floor was a loud guffaw of
laughter.  To my amazement, I discovered I was the one laughing.  Oh well. 
Maybe he would think I did that to be funny?

That’s what I was
wondering when one hand grabbed my arm and the other went around my waist as
Luke scooped me up off the floor.  While Luke still held onto me as if I might
topple over, I turned to him and said in the most ladylike voice I could
manage, “Oh, thank you.  I didn’t see that step.”  My eyes moved down to the
inconvenient step I’d just tripped over, and that’s when I realized what a
ridiculous thing that was to say.  There was no step there, but Luke was too
much of a gentleman to point that out.

“I was just going
to the men’s room, so why don’t I come with you since they’re both right over
there?” Luke lied. 

Even in my
confused state, I was aware of his concern.  He was going with me to keep me
from embarrassing myself any further.  It was so sweet.  He was so sweet.  I
don’t deserve such a sweet, wonderful man.  With those thoughts, my eyes
started to water, and I fought to hold in the tears at least until I was safely
in the ladies room.

Fortunately, we
had just reached the ladies room door.  As I reached to push it open, Luke let
go of my arm and said, “I’ll be waiting here for you when you come out.”

As soon as my face
was behind the closed door, I let the tears flow.  He was so wonderful, and I
was going to ruin everything by being such a maw-maw/slut/drunk!  Poor Luke, I
wailed inside my head as the tears flowed.  I wish he could find someone who
was worthy of him – but not Hannah.  I hate her!  He’s so sweet, and I never
even tell him that.  What man doesn’t like to hear that he’s wonderful, right? 
I splashed cold water on my face and felt much clearer.  I would go back, eat
my food, dance when the music started, and then tell Luke how wonderful he
really is and how he deserves someone better than me.  Was I a woman on a
mission or what?  As I started toward the bathroom exit, I realized this woman
on a mission forgot to pee.  I went into a stall, took care of that, washed my
hands, splashed more water on my face for good measure, and left.  Luke, true
to his word, was standing in the hall waiting for me.  What a great guy.

“Thanks for
waiting for me, but it really wasn’t necessary,” I said as casually as
possible.  “Ooo, is that our food on the table?” I asked when we were almost
there.  “I’m starved.  How about you?”

Luke was still
studying me with a concerned look on his face, but the control I exhibited
since leaving the ladies room seemed to finally put him at ease.  “Yes, they
delivered the food while we were in the restrooms.  I’m pretty hungry, so I’m
glad to see it,” he told me as we headed back to our table.  Luke, who had been
holding my arm since I left the ladies room, let go only when I was sitting and
sliding across the booth.  He neatly slid in after me and said, “Dig in.  I got
seafood platters, so hopefully your favorite is on it.  What is your favorite
seafood, anyway?”

“Um, probably
catfish.  No wait, maybe shrimp?  No, no, what am I saying?  Oysters would have
to be my favorite.  Oh, unless it’s crawfish season,” I added, and when I
paused to take a breath Luke started laughing.

“If you’re trying
to make me glad I got you the seafood platter it’s working.  I think you’ll
find all your favorites on there, so that should keep you busy for a while,” he
chuckled.  Luke looked at his plate and then smiled at me, “I’m not sure I can
eat all this, but with your appetite, I’m sure you can help me out once you’ve
finished yours.”

“You think you’re
funny, don’t you?  We’ll see who’s laughing when I eat you under the table,” I
shot back.

“I doubt you meant
that literally, but I’ll keep hoping,” Luke said casually but capped off his
statement with a grin.

That’s not what I
meant at all and to buy myself a minute to think of how to respond, I reached
for my glass and chugged half of it down before I realized what I was doing. 
Oops.  But now I had food to mix in with the alcohol, so it shouldn’t hit me
that hard, right?  As I sat my glass back down on the table, I thought, that
stuff tastes much smoother now than the first few swallows did.

“Yes, but it will
sneak up on you, so try not to be fooled by the smoothness,” Luke said out of
nowhere.

Wait – did I say
that out loud?  I’d better be careful if my thoughts are slipping past my lips
undetected.  That thought made me laugh.  I pictured my thoughts in a little
trench coat, plastered against the side of my mouth, sneaking around the corner
of my lips when my mouth opened.  Good stuff.

Unfortunately, Luke
had stopped eating and was staring at me while he reached for my glass.  “I’m
glad you’re having a good time, but I think that’s probably enough of this,” he
said slowly as he removed my glass from in front of me and motioned for Hannah
to come over.  “How would you like a nice hot cup of coffee to go with the rest
of your meal?”

Turns out I wasn’t
as hungry as I thought, because all I could think about was dancing close and
slow with Luke.  “How about we save this food for later and hit the dance
floor?  I’m ready to dance with you,” I explained.  I leaned in and put my nose
about an inch from Luke’s and asked, “Would you like to dance with me, sexy?”

“Okay, how about
we . . . ,” he tried to tell me until Hannah appeared at the table, and Luke
turned to her in the middle of our discussion about the dancing.  “Could we get
a couple of go-boxes and the check?  We have to be somewhere in a few minutes.”

“Oh?  Where do we
have to be?” I asked trying to remember what we were supposed to be doing,
because I thought we were going to dance.

“We have to be
getting you home before you pass out, and I have to carry you all the way back
to the apartment,” Luke responded as soon as the waitress left.  “Do you feel
like you can walk?”

Hey, I was feeling
a little insulted here.  “What’s going on?  I thought we were going to stay,
listen to some music, and dance.  You said we could dance.  Are you saying you
don’t want to dance with me?” I demanded.  Although I was trying to hold on to
indignant, I could feel my bottom lip start to tremble, and I knew the tears
weren’t far behind.

Obviously, Luke
saw it too, because he put his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “Of
course I want to dance with you.  There’s music back at the apartment, and I
think we’ll be much more comfortable dancing to the music there, don’t you?”

Aw, he is so
sweet.  I was thinking that’s why I think I’m falling in that love at first
sight thing with him, only a little delayed, ‘cause he’s so fudgin’ wonderful. 
Oops, did I just use the F word?  Where’d that come from?  I don’t even like
that word.

“Uh, no, you
didn’t use the F word, you used the fudging word.  It would have been okay,
because I’ve actually heard the F word before,” Luke answered, as he pulled out
his wallet to take care of the check Hannah had just put on the table.  “And
I’m very fond of you too, so let’s head home while we can both still stand up.”

“Oh, crap!  Did my
thoughts just sneak out of my mouth again?  That really sucks ‘cause I don’t
think you were s’posed to hear that!  Hey, if I said fudgin’ does that mean I
don’t have to pay Swear Bear ‘cause I don’t have any change on me?” I inquired.

The sound test that
had stopped for a while as they traded out an amp started back just in time and
loud enough that Luke didn’t hear my last question.  Even in my current state,
I noticed that loud sound test couldn’t have happened a minute earlier, because
that would have meant Luke didn’t hear the thoughts that slipped out of my
mouth when I wasn’t paying attention.  No of course not, because we are talking
about my luck, after all.

I should probably
have been upset by this development, but I was embracing my numbness and unable
to become upset.  I watched as Luke dumped our dinners into the go-boxes for
traveling, grabbed the cylinder of the print copy which he tucked under his
arm, pulled my arm close to him after he helped me stand, and steered me toward
the door.

We walked in
silence for a few minutes and then Luke said casually, “You didn’t eat very
much so if you want me to heat up your food when we get to the apartment I can
do that.”

“Home,” was my
only response to his offer.  “Before you called it
home
instead of the
apartment, and I really liked the sound of that so can you call it that again?” 
I snuggled closer to him as he walked with one arm around my waist and the
other carrying our food, with the cylinder still tucked under his arm.  He is
really coordinated.

Luke pulled me a
little closer and said, “We’ll be home in just a few minutes.  You’re doing
great with the walking, so keep up the good work.”

“You like the way
I walk?  I’ve been practicing for years,” I announced, punctuating this
statement with a yawn.  “We better get on with the dancing, because suddenly
I’m so tired.  Maybe I should take a little nap before we start dancing?”

“If you can make
it just a little farther you can take a nap before any dancing,” Luke
suggested.  “Deal?”

“Umm, that sounds
wonderful.  Doesn’t that sound wonderful?  Would you like to take a little nap
with me?” I asked sleepily.

Luke didn’t answer
right away, but after giving it some thought, he said, “Why don’t we talk about
that once we get there.  It’s not much farther now.”

“You hesitated. 
You don’t want to take a nap with me?  Why don’t you want to take a nap with
me?  Here I thought you liked me, but you don’t even want to snuggle up under
the covers and take a nap with me?  I’m a wonderful napper, too.  I don’t take
them as often as I like, but I think about them sometimes.  I might even be a
better napper than you, and now you’ll never know, ‘cause you don’t want to nap
with me,” I whined, my voice getting slightly louder as I went along.  Since
I’d been walking while whining, we were finally at the top of the stairs only a
few doors down from Serge’s apartment.  Luke guided me the last few steps,
propped me against the wall, and reached into his pocket for the key.  I still
had a large dose of that numbness going on, so in spite of what I was saying I
was feeling kind of easy going.  My volume was set a little higher than usual,
however.