Not Yet (28 page)

I swallowed, as the pressure began to build in my
head, hoping to explain this in a rational, believable manner.
“Sam, it isn’t what you think. Landon drove me to the hospital. My
sister, Evie, who you know has Down syndrome, was in a house fire.
I got the call at the meet and I freaked out. Landon saw me go into
shock, and he drove me to her.”

“I heard there was an emergency. Dean Goldsmith
passed that onto Ford, but it looked pretty bad when Landon didn’t
come back. What happened? Why didn’t you drive?”

I nodded, feeling sick to my stomach. “I know. He
didn’t want me to drive my car because I was so upset. And I was
terrified, so I agreed to let him drive me there. Then, he waited
with me at the hospital until we knew she was okay.”

“Why would he do that, Emma?” Sam secured the clean
diaper and finished dressing Lily. “Is something going on between
you two?”

“No!” I shouted, quickly taking a breath to calm
down, as my outburst startled poor Lily. “But we know each other.
We met this summer, Sam. We lifeguarded together in Avon. It was
before I knew I was teaching high school at Zionsville.”

I left out the part about the summer fling. We hadn’t
done anything wrong because it was before I knew I was going to be
Landon’s teacher. I also didn’t want to tell her about him lying to
me about his age. She would dislike him more, and I cared about him
too much to put him in jeopardy.

“So, you were friends this summer? Is that what you
are saying?” Sam handed me Lily and I settled into the rocker and
held her, hoping her purity could cleanse my troubled soul of this
whole ordeal.

“Yes, we worked together every day and became very
good friends this summer. He even met my mom and my sister, Evie.
That’s why he waited with me. He knew them and he knew the doctor
at the hospital and he was trying to support a friend.” I looked at
Lily’s innocent face and hoped she never had to be in a position to
hide who she loved.

“Okay. Well, that all makes more sense. But I have
one more question. Since you started teaching at Zionsville,
nothing has happened with him, right? I mean, you are
just
friends?”

I looked at Sam’s worried expression and sighed.
“Nothing physical. But we are friends. We have tried to maintain a
distance, in order to avoid exactly this kind of suspicion, but the
friendship is real. I didn’t want to tell anyone because I needed
this job so badly, and I thought people might jump to wild
conclusions because I’m so young… which is exactly what has
happened.”

Sam relaxed. “Friendship is okay. There’s no harm in
that. Thanks for telling me. I needed to hear it from you and not
the rumor mill. But be careful, Emma. Gossip like this can destroy
a career. You should keep your distance. He’ll graduate and go off
to college and people will forget.”

I stood and handed Lily to her carefully. “I know.
Thanks for caring, Sam.” We gently hugged around Lily and headed
back to the living room. The room was filled to the brim and out
the door with football players. They carried baskets of food,
cards, flowers, balloons, and, of course, every sort of infant
football apparel available. When the boys saw me behind Sam, the
room quieted down.

Looking around at the suspicious faces, I wanted to
sink into the floor and disappear. I waved goodbye quickly to Tommy
and moved my way through the crowd. Snickers and whispers followed
me as I headed to the front door. Right outside the door were Dean
and Landon in deep conversation. Dean saw me first and elbowed
Landon. He looked up with concern, noticing my bright red face. As
Landon stepped forward toward me, I stumbled away, looking anywhere
but at him.

Walking quickly to my car across the street, a group
of football moms huddled together pointing at me.
Holy Hell!
The parents were talking. Nothing could enflame a small town like a
story about a young female teacher seducing her student.

It was happening. My short career was most likely
over. Blinking back tears, I quickly jumped in my car and
accelerated around the row of parked cars in front of me and out of
the neighborhood. Looking in my rearview mirror, I caught the look
of sorrow on Landon’s face as he watched me go.

Monday morning, feeling sick to my stomach with
nerves, I skipped my workout but still arrived at school an hour
early, just so I could avoid the stares from students and teachers.
I was setting up my papers when Tommy Stone walked in and shut the
door.

“Emma, how’re you doing?” He sat on a desk and
watched me with concern.

I smoothed my long brown skirt and crossed my legs as
I hopped onto an opposite desk. Today, I chose my outfit carefully.
Knee-length brown boots covered even more of my legs. I needed to
exude professionalism. The button down white blouse and brown
cardigan were among the plainest in my closet. I’d never tried to
look seductive or even remotely attractive in school, but now it
was crucial that I didn’t take any chances.

“How bad is it, Tommy? Don’t hold back on me. I need
to know.” I was terrified to ask the question, but I couldn’t avoid
it any longer.

Tommy rubbed his face. “It’s not good. Principal
Mahoney called me at home last night. He knows you are closest with
Sam. Thank God Sam had talked to you. I was able to tell him how
you became friends this summer and have remained nothing but
friends. He believes me, but let me say this, Emma. You have to be
on the highest alert. If you so much as bump elbows with Landon
before he graduates, you will never teach again.”

I nodded, exhaling deeply through my nose. “Thanks,
Tommy.”

“Don’t thank me for telling the truth, Emma. Just
don’t screw up from here. If you both want something more than
friendship, you can have that chance in a few months.”

“I hear you, Tommy. I do. It’s nothing more, please
believe me.” I felt terrible lying to him, but both my career and
Landon’s future were now on the line. Tommy left the classroom as
the bell rang for the start of the day. I took a deep breath and
forced myself to focus and get back in control. I had worked too
hard to get this career started. Plus, I had grown to love teaching
wholeheartedly. I would be devastated if it was taken away from me,
too.

Third period was ridiculously humiliating. The entire
class did nothing but stare at Landon and me, waiting for any sort
of reaction. Neither of us would make any eye contact, so the whole
atmosphere was filled with tension. It didn’t help that Principal
Mahoney seemed to walk by my open classroom door every five
minutes, obviously trying to observe the situation from a
distance.

At lunch, I was assigned cafeteria duty, so I was
forced to walk the room, making sure there were no altercations or
food fights. Again, every eye was on me and Landon. It was like a
bad tennis match—with heads looking first at me, then Landon, then
back to me. I avoided looking at any table that included football
players, just to be safe, but in reality I didn’t know where it was
safe to look.

Cammie and Stephanie walked by me with empty trays.
Cammie leaned in close and whispered, “Find someone your own age,
Ms. Harris. Leave the high school boys to us.” They both burst into
laughter as my face burned a shade of crimson that could be seen
across the room—and possibly across the state.

Landon must have been watching their confrontation
with me, as he jumped from his seat and dumped his tray of uneaten
food. He stormed out the opposite doors and I heard the collective
silence fill the room. The urge to disappear was stronger than I’d
ever known.

The rest of the week followed in the same awkward
manner. On Friday, I passed by Landon’s group of friends after
classes and a cocky voice called out, “Landon, you ready to share
Harris with the rest of us yet? I could work her up good. Whaddya
say, Ms. Harris? You can even
grade
me.”

I jerked my head up to see a stupid ass grin on Jared
Watson, a junior and the star pitcher on the varsity baseball team
with Landon. I opened my mouth to let him have it—who the hell did
he think he was talking to a teacher like that—when I heard a growl
as Jared was thrown in the air and against the lockers. I jumped
back as Landon slammed into him.

“Shut your
fucking
mouth, Jared. You will
respect her. Hear that? Or I will fuck you up.”

“Chill out, man!” Jared pushed Landon back as Dean
and Ricky grabbed Landon’s arms.

“Settle down, boys!” Ford came jogging up to the
group. “You all need to calm down now and move on. Go jerk-off in
the locker room or something to take the testosterone down a
level.”

A huge group had formed around us. Everyone was
watching my horrified expression and Landon’s rage.

“I WILL NOT SETTLE DOWN!!! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS! BACK
THE FUCK OFF!” Landon stormed off down the hall as he punched a few
lockers along the way. All eyes flew to me and I turned and ran to
my classroom.

Ford followed me in. “You okay?”

I blew out a shaky breath. “Mostly embarrassed but
yes. This whole thing is a bunch of shit.”

“You should’ve hooked up with me when you had the
chance. It would’ve taken the heat off you. I get it. I flirt too.
You gotta make it a joke, though. You can’t let them take it
seriously. You sure I can’t change your mind? A few words from me
and I can make this all go away. ” Ford took a few steps toward me
and I thought I might hurl on him.

I seriously couldn’t handle this right now. “Ford,
back off.” I held up my hand and stood up straight. “I am not
flirting with Landon. We lifeguarded together this summer, before I
knew I was teaching here. We. Are. Friends. Nothing else.” I huffed
as I finished and wanted to stomp my foot in frustration. How had
things gotten so out of hand?

“Whatever you say. I saw the way you looked at him at
the track meet. All I know is, you’re playing with fire and I don’t
want you to get burned. I’d like you to stick around and we can let
our friendship… develop?” Ford placed his hand on my shoulder and
then began to run it down my chest, dangerously close to my breast.
Did he think he could get away with touching me like that because
of these new rumors? I supposed I must look like a whore who would
get it on with anyone around.

Disgusted, I lifted his hand off and dropped it like
it was dirty. I stood on my tiptoes and leaned into his face with a
snarl. “You’re walking a fine line here, Ford. Feels really close
to harassment. If you know what is good for you, you’ll keep your
hands off me. Got it?”

Ford smirked, obviously loving this angry encounter.
“Or what? Will Landon come after me?” He laughed loudly and I
clenched my fist to keep from smacking his smug face.

“No, asshole—I will. I don’t need anyone to fight my
battles. Now… get the hell out of my classroom before I make sure
you aren’t able to use your man parts for the next five years. Hear
me?” I was shaking with anger as I spoke to him. It felt like the
rage must be visibly radiating off my body.

Ford walked out backwards, laughing and making an
“okay” sign with his fingers. “Careful, Emma… My word goes far
around here. Haven’t you picked up on that yet?”

“What do you mean by that?’

“Just what I said. I merely made sure the rest of the
team and the parents knew you left that meet with a student. I
didn’t insinuate anything. I just planted the seed. Think of me as
a gardener. I can fertilize your career here so that it grows and
develops with me by your side, or I can poison it. Your
choice.”

Fuck fuck fuck
. Ford spread the rumors. Just
as I opened my mouth to scream at him, I heard, “Emma Harris, to
the office, please. Emma Harris, to the office,” over the speakers
in my classroom. I closed my eyes and took another steadying
breath. What the hell? What now? I just wanted to go home. Ford
walked away with a shit-eating grin on his face as I bit back
tears.

I rubbed my temples and stood up hesitantly. Standing
at my door was Tommy Stone. He looked at me with such sadness I
thought for a moment I would crumple to the floor. There was
nothing I hated more than people looking at me with sympathy. I had
seen it my whole life when I didn’t need it, and I sure didn’t want
to see it now when I probably did.

“Good luck, Emma.” He must have been close to my
classroom when the announcement was made. He held the door open for
me and gave me a reassuring smile, as I hurried to the main
office.

I walked through the hallway, feeling every eye in
the school on me. It might have been my imagination, but it sounded
deathly quiet as well. As I entered the office, Linda looked up at
me with pity, and my eyes welled. Whatever happened to innocent
before proven guilty? I swallowed the hard lump in my throat as
Linda pointed to the principal’s office. I walked slowly—head
down—just like the kids who got in trouble in school. I was never a
student who was sent to the principal’s office. Now I was—as a
damn
teacher.