Nothing but Meat: A dark, heart-stopping British crime thriller (17 page)

‘I’m really thirsty; could you get me something from the
store?’ Simone pulled a ten-pound note out of her bag. ‘I can’t really go in
there looking like this,’ she said, ‘would you mind getting me some water,
maybe a sandwich, any kind will do, and some wipes so I can get cleaned up?’

Kate and Melody took the money and Simone watched them walk
hand in hand until they became blistering seraphic silhouettes with outlines
that burned against the sun as it cast long shadows across the car park.

A few hours ago, Simone had been happier than she could ever
remember but deep down she knew that amount of happiness could never be
permanent, for if it was, it would be likely to drive her insane. Simone was
under no illusion that when she was tossed back into the reality of her life
that fleeting glimpse of sunshine would slip behind clouds. And the inevitable
crash from happiness to helpless despair happened as surely as night follows
day and her real life as a battered wife had left her needing help from a
stranger in a Tesco car park.

When they returned Kate handed her the bag of shopping and
left her alone. Simone drank heavily from the water bottle and found Kate had
brought a first aid kit. Simone cleaned her hands and face with moist
antiseptic wipes and bandaged her finger. She took a bite from the cheese and
ham sandwich and discovered that one of her front teeth felt painful and loose
when she chewed. She moved the food to the very back of her mouth and ignored
the pain as best she could and made a mental note to see a dentist when she had
time. She really didn’t want her front teeth to fall out. The food instantly
fuelled her body and brought her back from the shaking, sickening crash of
drained adrenaline.

Kate waited patiently while Simone ate; she sat with Melody
while she played and when Simone had finished walked over to her and said, ‘How
do you feel?’

‘Much better, thanks. You’ve been very kind, you too Melody.’

‘Think nothing of it, when we saw you we knew we had to see
if you were okay.’

Simone tried to smile, hating the fact that she needed help.

Kate said, ‘I take it that didn’t happen in the line of
duty.’

Simone was reluctant to talk about what had happened but felt
obliged to give some kind of explanation. She saw the wedding band on Kate’s
left hand. ‘You’re married?’

She nodded.

‘He’s kind to you?’

She nodded again.

‘And to Melody?’

Simone noticed that Kate was very pretty, with tanned skin
and freckles that peppered her nose, dark hair kissed her shoulders when she
looked over her shoulder to the car in which Melody sat and played. When she
turned back she was swollen with love and Simone could see that Kate had never
imagined her husband harming her daughter and if that ever happened she would
die to protect her. ‘Yes of course,’ she said.

‘Then you’re very lucky.’

Kate gave no response but it was clear she understood. She
said, ‘Where are you going to go?’

‘I haven’t thought that far ahead.’

‘Do you need me to get you anything else?’

Simone shook her head.

‘I have to go back inside and do my shopping.’ She looked
uncomfortable and tried to explain. ‘It’s the reason we came here.’

‘Of course. Go ahead.’ Simone tried to reassure her. ‘I’m going
to be fine.’

‘If you’re sure there’s nothing else I can do for you.’

Simone shook her head again. ‘Thanks.’ She was grateful but
now she wanted to be alone and no longer a concern for Kate the Samaritan.

Kate couldn’t hide her reluctance to leave but relented and
said, ‘Okay, come on Melody.’ The child looked up and jumped out of the car,
she slammed the door shut with a grunt and took her mother’s hand.

‘Is the lady going to be okay?’ Simone heard Melody ask as
they walked away.

Simone took her mobile phone from her bag and held it loosely
in her palm staring into nothing and considering who she was going to call.

Her first instinct was to call her parents; it seemed the
natural thing to do when your life had suddenly fallen apart, but she knew they
couldn’t help her anyway, they lived miles away, having moved to Taunton when
her father retired a few years ago. Her news would drive them crazy with worry
and she didn’t want to burden them with her problems as they were both getting
on in years and she was their only child. They had her late in life and Simone
had tested their patience in her rebellious years but now, when she looked back
at her dubious past through the eyes of an adult she knew she always meant the
world to them and they were just as important to her.

On hearing what had happened they would insist on either
driving up to see her or try and persuade her to drive down to them and she
would spend most of her time on the phone trying to dissuade them from either
action. She needed to tell them what was going on in her life, tell them her marriage
had ended and what her relationship with Martin was really like, but the more
she thought about it the more she knew she wasn’t ready to admit she had been
lying to them for as long as she could remember. No, she would call them later,
maybe in a couple of weeks after things had settled down, when she had a grip
on the situation and at least some solutions to her problems were in motion.
They would be less likely to worry if she was positive about her future when
she spoke to them and could assure them she was going to be okay.

Her body throbbed with pain and sweat beaded from her temples
as she scanned the contacts list in her phone. She called the bank that held
their joint account and transferred exactly half the balance into her personal
account using the passbook she remembered to take before she left the house.
Then she hesitated, unsure of her next move.

When she dialled again she knew she was going to have to
explain herself, she wasn’t calling her parents but the truth still had to come
out, she couldn’t be cryptic about her situation. Lies wouldn’t wash and by
asking for help she was opening the door to confession, her life and weaknesses
were about to be unveiled, and she felt ashamed.

Lucy answered. ‘Hey, Simone. What’s up?’

Simone stayed mute, the phone hissed in her ear.

‘Hello, Simone? Are you there?’

When Simone finally spoke her words spilled into the
telephone network like human waste into a sewer pipe. It was as if someone else
was speaking for her; throwing their voice from over her shoulder like a
ventriloquist with an evil puppet. ‘I need help,’ she said. They were simple
but important words. ‘Can I come over?’

Simone watched for signals of disappointment from Lucy. She
was ashamed at being a victim and was convinced that it was only a matter of
time before something betrayed Lucy’s true feelings towards Simone. She watched
for that split second change in expression or tone of voice that would give her
away. Simone expected her to say something like - ‘I thought you were stronger
than that,’ and ‘I just don’t understand how you could let him do that to you.’
But she didn’t. Nor did she, as Simone imagined she would, give any impression
of despondence or discomfort or any indication of displeasure at being in the
same room as her. Lucy was tough and brash and could hold her own against
anyone but that night she was nothing but comforting and supportive and said
she felt privileged at being the one Simone chose to confide in.

When Lucy’s boyfriend came home he found two drunk and
emotional women sitting together on the couch.

Walk Through Fire:

Nathan West, his father and Simone were sitting around the
kitchen table drinking mugs of tea and enjoying comfortable conversation.
Nathan watched Simone discreetly as she circled her index finger around the
edges of a years-old purple wine stain that no one had bothered to sand out
because sanding took effort and besides, old wine stains gave character to the
finish of the antique oak. The conversation was broken for a second when the
phone rang and Nathan stood to answer it. He ignored the one in the kitchen,
preferring the more private telephone in the hallway. He was made of eggshells
and ready to crack, constantly fearing the phone call from the police that
would condemn him.

Nathan breathed a little easier when he answered the phone to
Martin, but his relief was short lived.

‘I think we need a chat,’ Martin said and Nathan’s ear grew
hot against the earpiece.

‘Okay.’

‘I’ll meet you outside St Mary’s, tonight at eight.’

‘Okay.’

‘It’s nice and quiet there.’

Simone burst out laughing and it carried into the hallway.
There was silence on the other end of the phone as it travelled down the line. It
was a silence so complete Nathan wasn’t sure whether Martin was still there until
he heard him sigh and ask, ‘Is she there?’ His tone was flat and wrathful.

‘Who?’

Martin cleared his throat. ‘See you tonight Flame Boy,’ he
said and hung up.

Dusk.

Martin was sitting on a bench in the graveyard when Nathan
arrived at the church.

‘This is all very dramatic,’ Nathan said as he approached and
sat down.

Martin ignored him. He was in control, he had Nathan tightly by
the balls, they both knew it and Nathan had the creeping suspicion he was about
to get fucked.

Martin sat in silence looking at the ancient brick of the
church wall. He was relishing his moment.

‘Get on with it Martin; I’ve not got all night.’

‘I wonder if they’ll bury him here.’

‘Bury who?’ said Nathan, knowing exactly what Martin was
talking about.

‘That poor sap you burned.’

‘People have to die before they bury them.’

‘Not always,’ he said.

Nathan sighed, as ever, he had little patience for Martin’s
bullshit.

Martin and turned to look at him for the first time since he
sat down, ‘You’re alive, and yet I could bury you,’ he said with a sneer.

There was nothing Nathan could say to defend himself. He was
guilty, it was as simple as that, and the guilt drove him to hate himself on so
many levels he couldn’t even begin to make sense of it. But now his future was
in Martin’s hands and that made him feel physically sick. ‘What do you want?’
he snapped.

‘You’re not going to like it.’

‘Let me guess, you want me to stay away from Simone?’

‘For starters.’

‘What else?’

‘I want you to go away for good, I want you to take your
hippy hair and your stupid T-shirts and go somewhere far away and forget about
coming back.’

‘Yeah right.’

Martin hated him; Nathan could see it in his eyes. There was
nothing there but pure hatred and for some reason that surprised him. It was
obvious they had never really been friends, but Nathan had never thought they
were enemies. It was clear now that Martin’s infatuation for Simone had fuelled
his vitriol and jealousy towards Nathan to the point where it had been chewing
him up inside and now he had an opportunity to get rid of him. It was a
dangerous place for Nathan to be.

‘And not only that,’ Martin added, ‘I want you to be gone by
the end of the week.’

‘How am I supposed to do that?’

‘You were planning on going to university correct?’ he said,
and without allowing Nathan to answer he said, ‘You’re a bright chap, book at
place in Newcastle or Scotland somewhere, or better still, Australia and don’t
come back.’

‘I can’t go by the end of the week.’

‘Yes you can.’

‘What if I choose not to?’

‘That’s up to you,’ he said with a sarcastic shrug. ‘We all
have choices Nathan, we all make right ones and wrong ones and you made the
wrong one on Sunday, just don’t make another one now. This is all very simple;
if you go, I keep quiet and your fate is in the hands of the investigators, but
if you choose to stay you will be arrested within days, and life will become,
let’s say, unpleasant, not only for you but for your father. I’m sure it’d be
very upsetting for him to find out who you really are and what you’re capable
of.’

‘It wasn’t just me though,’ said Nathan with a hint of
desperation in his voice he just couldn’t hide, ‘you were there too; you, your
sister and Simone.’

‘I don’t want you to say her name again.’

Nathan ignored him. ‘You’re all accessories to the crime. All
three of you will be implicated if you tell the police…’

‘You keep telling yourself that.’

‘…and they’ll want to know why it took you so long to own
up.’

‘I’ll say you threatened to kill our parents, threatened to
burn our houses down while we slept. We’re all scared of you Nathan, every one
of us; you’re insane, you’re a pyromaniac, we didn’t know what to do but in the
end it was the guilt, the guilt made us come forward and admit to what we saw
you do.’

‘The others won’t back you up.’

‘What makes you think that? We’re all pretty disgusted by
your behaviour; I for one don’t give a shit what happens to you and my sister?
Well, she barely knows she’s awake most of the time. Simone might be keeping
quiet through some kind of misguided loyalty but I’m telling you now, five
minutes in a police interview room and they’ll have the poor cow singing like a
choir boy on a Sunday.’

‘This is all bollocks Martin. Where’s the proof, the
evidence?’

‘You do realise that they will have
found your lighter by now?’

‘Maybe, but they can’t prove it’s
mine.’

‘I’ve got photos of you using that
lighter. It’s a limited edition. It’s unusual.’

‘The fact that I had the same lighter
as the one found at the crime scene doesn’t mean anything. It definitely
doesn’t mean I did it.’

‘But you did do it didn’t you?’

Nathan was quiet.

‘Didn’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Exactly. And if you were innocent and it went to court and
your lighter was the only piece of evidence they had against you, you just might
get away with it, but the thing is, you’re not innocent and when all eyes are
on you, proving otherwise will get harder and harder. Especially with me
telling them how I fucking watched you do it.’

‘I can’t just leave. How am I supposed to afford it?’

‘Get a job in a bar or something, it’s not that hard Nathan,
people do it all the time.’ Martin stood up and leant into him, pointing a
stubby finger into his face. ‘You stay or you go,’ he said. ‘The decision’s all
yours. Frankly, I don’t give a shit what you do because either way you’re
gone.’

Martin had him where he wanted him and there wasn’t anything
Nathan could do about it. He had gone through his options as he lay in bed the
evening after he started the fire and realised there were only three: confess,
hide or flee. Confession was out, the guilt was chewing him up but he couldn’t
face the punishment of a ruined life for something he knew he could control if
he was given a second chance. He had chosen to hide but now Martin had
threatened to expose him hiding was no longer an option. Martin had forced his
hand and now fleeing the scene of the crime was probably the only realistic
solution left. If he ran he could start a new life and leave the past behind. He
could start a new life with new beginnings. It might just work.

Martin began to walk away but then turned around. ‘One other
thing Nathan,’ he said.

‘What.’

‘You’re not to speak to Simone again. You don’t tell her
you’re going; you don’t tell her where you’re going. You just go. Got it?’

What was left to say? He was ruined and it was entirely self-inflicted. ‘You’re the boss,’ he said.

Nathan West knew he had gone too far and needed to put his
addiction into perspective. He had done nothing but worry that the police would
be knocking on his door at any moment.

He had always wanted to join the police and any chance of
that happening would be over if he was convicted for arson or for murder.

No, he had to rein it back in and take a good hard look at
himself. The fire at the farm had been inevitable – his addiction had
been spiralling out of control and it was only a matter of time before he
caused a fire of that size and now he was a wanted criminal. It wouldn’t have
been so bad if he had been alone but there were witnesses and any of the other
three could turn him in if they wanted. Martin’s analysis of the situation was
spot on - West doubted whether Simone would say anything but he couldn’t be
sure; he had gone too far this time, she was a witness and an accessory to the
crime. Fear of imprisonment would loosen her tongue. Laura was unpredictable,
she liked to get her rocks off and when she did her mouth was as loose as her
legs. He didn’t trust her but he had a feeling she wouldn’t say anything, not
deliberately at least but neither of them would protect him if the police came
knocking. And he didn’t blame them either, why should they ruin their own lives
trying to cover up for his stupidity. If it came to that he would willingly
take the blame.

He had to leave. A future mapped out inside his head. He
would move away, maybe he could live with his grandparents for a year, while he
went to college and finished his A-levels, and then if he got a place at
university he could be independent.

It meant leaving Simone but if that were his only punishment
then, painful as it would be; he knew he would have gotten away lightly.

All those months of wanting her, of wanting to tell her how
he felt came down to that moment in the haystack. They were sitting so closely
together and the tension between them was electrifying. He wanted so badly to
kiss her and had just made his move when Martin interrupted them. Their lips
had touched only for a second but it was enough. Simone now knew how he felt
and Nathan was sure she felt the same way. But now it was over before it even
began.

He tried to convince himself that she was just a girl and
that there would be many others just like her, but somehow he knew this wasn’t
really true, there would be others, of course there would, but none like her.

There it was: another and possibly the most important reason
of all as to why he couldn’t allow himself anymore mistakes with fire. Leaving
Simone would be like losing a piece of his life but he had to go, he had no
choice; he was on the brink of losing everything.

The first step to recovery was admitting to the problem and
Nathan had admitted it – to himself at least, and now that he had, he
could begin to control it. It was time for a fresh start and the road to
recovery was laid out before him - he just needed a second chance and he could
change his life and he would never do anything so stupid again.

Don’t get caught, he thought, I just need to get away from
here and the chance to sort myself out. I’ll learn to control it and then knows
what the future will hold.