Nothing Left to Lose (43 page)

My body was
going crazy at her casual, playful touch. “Right, yeah, I forgot
you already had someone,” I grunted, my voice sounding thick with
lust. I wanted her so badly that it was almost driving me
insane.

“You forgot?
Maybe I should remind you more often.”

I gritted my
teeth. “Maybe you should.”

She smiled
seductively and stepped closer, pushing me down onto the sofa,
falling on top of me. She kissed my forehead and nose. “You don’t
have anything to worry about, boyfriend. You’re the only one I
could ever let this close to me,” she promised, kissing along my
cheek. Her breathing was speeding up with excitement, making me
long for things that I shouldn’t even think about.

How could I
have been so stupid? She couldn’t even let other men close to her,
that was how I knew I was the one for her. When her soft lips
connected with mine, I kissed her back, hard, rolling so that she
was trapped underneath me. As the kiss deepened, one of her legs
wrapped around my waist and clamped me against her. I moaned into
her mouth, enjoying the last few seconds before I knew I had to
pull away.

“Anna, come on,
Baby Girl, let’s stop now, huh? I can’t have you getting upset,” I
rasped, breaking the intense kiss but staying on top of her.

She sighed
dramatically. “Yeah, I know. Sometimes it’s just hard to resist
you. You’re so goddamn sexy, Ashton,” she frowned, looking slightly
annoyed about the fact that she couldn’t resist me.

I grinned at
her comment. “Thank you, Baby Girl, and you’re so goddamn sexy
too.” I sighed and looked up at the clock on the wall. “It’s
getting late. How about we make some food and then unpack and go to
bed?” I needed to get off her because my traitorous body was
begging for me to upset her again.

“Yeah, okay.”
She actually looked both sad and relieved at the same time.

After eating a
grilled cheese sandwich that I’d burnt beyond recognition, we
unpacked. While she went to the bathroom to change, I stripped down
to my boxers and climbed into my bed. She strutted out a couple of
minutes later in the tiny, little shorts and tight tank top pyjamas
that I both loved and hated at the same time. I loved them because
they clung to her body and made her look so freaking hot it was
unreal, and I hated them for exactly the same reason. As she
slipped into the bed next to me and scooted over against me,
tangling her legs in with mine, I sighed as desire for her started
to build. It looked like this was going to be another long night
for me.

In the morning
my eyes fluttered open, seeing Anna’s beautiful face just inches
from mine. Smiling happily, I dipped my head and kissed her
forehead gently before moving back so I could watch her sleep.
About twenty minutes later, she stirred and moved closer, pressing
herself to me and burying her face in my chest. This was my
favourite part of everyday – the time when she was just waking up
and she would always try to get closer to me, no matter how close
she already was. This small little bit of attention got me through
the whole day. I smiled to myself.
Yep, best birthday ever!
She opened her eyes, a slow smile spreading across her face.

“Morning,” I
greeted, brushing the hair from her face.

“Good morning.
Happy birthday,” she sang, happily.

I laughed.
Those two words sounded a little weird to me. “Thanks. So, do I get
a birthday kiss?” I asked hopefully.

She nodded,
smiling teasingly. “Sure, who from?”

I grinned as I
leant forward and kissed her softly. She responded immediately,
kissing me back and tangling her fingers in my hair. I pulled away
after a couple of seconds, not wanting to push my luck too far. She
didn’t take her hand out of my hair as she looked at me excitedly.
“Want your presents now?”

I groaned in
exasperation. “Anna, you didn’t buy me anything, did you?
Seriously, this was already too much,” I whined. I hated that she
spent money on me, I didn’t need it, the only thing I needed was
her.

She didn’t
answer, just pulled out of my arms and jumped out of bed, skipping
over to the suitcase that Dean had brought. She hadn’t unpacked it
last night, and now I knew why – she’d hidden my gift in there. I
sighed as she wheeled the case over and lifted it up onto the end
of the bed.

My brow
furrowed as she lifted the lid. I had known there would be a gift
when she jumped out of the bed, but instead, the case was almost
full. I could clearly see two large boxes, a medium sized one, and
three smaller ones.

“I don’t want
you to keep buying me things,” I grumbled.

She flopped
down onto the bed beside me and leant in, kissing me softly on the
mouth, silencing my protest. “Please don’t start. You’ll hurt my
feelings. I put a lot of thought into each one, and I wanted to get
you them, so please just shush,” she ordered, smirking at me. I
groaned as she picked up the three smaller packages, placing them
in my lap. “Open them, and smile please?” she pouted and gave me
the damn face that I couldn’t resist.

I rolled my
eyes and ripped open the first one. Out fell James Patterson’s new
book. I grinned excitedly. We’d spoken about this a couple of weeks
ago and I’d told her I wanted to read it. “This is great, thank
you.” If she’d only bought me this, it would have been the best
gift I’d ever had.

She smiled. “I
thought you’d like that one. Open the next one,” she breathed
excitedly, motioning towards my lap. I grinned and opened the next
one; it was The Peacemaker on DVD. I laughed as I looked it over.
“I didn’t know if you already had it, but I saw it and wanted to
get it. I hope it’s the right one. You said it was your favourite
movie,” she waffled, playing with her necklace like she did when
she was a little nervous about something.

“It’s
definitely the right one, and no, I don’t have it.” I turned it
over, looking at the back. I genuinely loved this movie.

“Next one,” she
prompted.

I laughed at
her enthusiasm and tore the paper from the last small package,
revealing a black square jewellery box. I frowned down at it
curiously as I lifted the lid. A chunky silver watch was nestled
inside. My eyes widened at how expensive it looked. I flicked my
eyes up to her and shook my head because it was too much, I
couldn’t accept it. Before I could say anything though, she held up
one hand to halt my protest. “Before you say no, hear me out,” she
pleaded. “You don’t have a watch. You’re always checking the time
on your cell phone. I really wanted to get you something you could
use, and I saw this and really wanted to get it for you. Everyone
needs a watch. Please just accept it in the manner which it was
given. I want you to have it.”

I gulped.
“Anna…”

She pouted. “If
you don’t like it, you can change it,” she offered.

I looked down
at the watch. It was perfect, incredible even, and something I
would never have purchased for myself in a million years because
I’d never have this kind of money to spare. “I love it, it’s
just-”

Her hand closed
over my mouth. “If you love it, then just put it on and smile. I
wanted to get it for you.”

I could see how
much she wanted me to accept it, clearly it meant a lot to her, and
she’d obviously put a great deal of effort into buying it and
choosing it. I sighed and pulled her hand from my mouth. “Thank
you,” I conceded.

She squealed
happily, clapping her hands excitedly as she nodded towards the
medium sized package. “Great! Now do that one.”

“These were
enough, you shouldn’t have bought me anything else,” I scolded,
leaning over and kissing her lips gently. In all honesty, that kiss
would have been more than enough for me.

“Just open it
or I will. I’m not good at waiting for presents to be unwrapped.
You should see me at Christmas, I can do a pile of presents in like
a minute flat,” she stated proudly. I didn’t doubt her words at
all.

“Calm down,
anyone would think it’s your birthday,” I joked.

Her face fell,
and her eyes tightened. “I don’t like my birthday, so I like to
celebrate other people’s.”

Understanding
hit me like a ton of bricks. Her boyfriend had been murdered on her
birthday, and she’d tried to kill herself for the last two years on
the anniversary of it.
Christ, how stupid could a guy get?
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I shouldn’t have said that.” I took her
hand, looking at her apologetically.

She shook her
head and smiled again. “Just open it!” she cried, pointing
excitedly at the present.

I laughed and
ripped open the packet. My eyes went wide at the picture on the
box. A camera. I couldn’t speak. This was just the perfect gift; no
one could have picked anything better for me. I desperately wanted
a photo of us two together, I had a couple of my cell phone but I
couldn’t print them off.

“Oh shit, this
is incredible. Thank you so much,” I gushed. “But you know I’m
gonna be taking photos of you though, right?” I added.

“If you’re
thinking I’m gonna be posing naked for you, you’re wrong,” she
teased, sticking her tongue out at me.

I laughed
wickedly. “Well, I wasn’t thinking that, but I definitely am
now.”

She laughed and
shook her head. “Whatever, pervert.” She slapped my arm
playfully.

I leant over
and kissed her lips, just once. “Thank you, I love this, it’s
incredible.” I looked back at the box in my hands, not actually
believing that this girl was real.

She picked up
the last two boxes and put them in my lap. “These two go together,
but open this one first,” she instructed, pointing to the flatter
of the two. I was still in shock over the camera, I couldn’t wait
to take it out tonight and get some photos of us together. I looked
over at her and noticed that she was watching me expectantly, so I
reluctantly dragged my eyes from her and ripped off the gift
wrap.

My breath
caught in my throat, and my body jerked – as would any red-blooded
male that got this for their birthday. On my lap sat a PlayStation
4. They weren’t even out yet. “Anna, what the actual fuck? How did
you get this?” I gasped.

“I had my dad
pull a few strings. He’s old friends with someone who works for
Sony,” she answered happily. “I knew your face would look like
that!” she grinned smugly. “Open the other box. They go
together.”

Still in shock,
I unwrapped the other gift, tearing the tape off the cardboard box,
seeing an extra controller and six games inside. She settled
herself against my side and waved her hand at the box. “I didn’t
know what games to get, so I asked the guy what a twenty-two year
old male would like, and these are what he came up with. I hope
they’re alright,” she winced, looking a little worried.

I grabbed her
waist and pushed her down onto the bed, pinning her underneath me.
Could I tell her that I loved her? Would it ruin everything? I
couldn’t risk it, she’d undoubtedly freak out. “You are the
sweetest, kindest and most thoughtful girl I’ve ever met, Anna.
Thank you so much for everything, and for coming to LA, and for
just being with me. I really, really appreciate it.”

She grinned.
“You’re welcome. Happy birthday.”

I kissed her
again, setting my body on fire as I pressed against her tightly,
relishing in the feel of her curves. When I pulled away, we were
both breathless. I sat up, looking back at the PS4. “I can’t
believe you got me this,” I breathed, shaking my head in awe. I was
already itching to play it and eyed the soccer game on the top of
the pile.

“Actually, I
didn’t buy these for you,” she replied, shrugging and pointing to
the console and games.

“Oh yeah? Did
you get it for yourself?” I grinned. I’d love to play against her.
Girls playing videogames was sexy!

She shook her
head. “No, I got this for Nate,” she answered, grinning smugly.

I raised one
eyebrow. “For Nate? I don’t understand.”

She smiled and
reached for the box that had contained the games. She tipped it up
and a little headset thing fell out onto my lap. “You miss your
friends, so I got this for Nate. The games are interactive which
means you can play against other people. This little headset means
you can talk to each other while you’re playing. I got one for
Nate, which is this one, and I left your one at home. They’re
exactly the same,” she explained.

Oh my
freaking God! Not only did she buy me this, but she bought the same
for my best friend so we could play against each other because she
knew I missed him? Damn it, I need to marry this girl! Please let
her fall in love with me, I promise I’ll make her happy,
please!
I begged silently.

“Anna, this is
incredible. So thoughtful. I’m kinda speechless.”

She grinned and
shrugged as if it was nothing. “I wanted to do something for you. I
owe you more than I could ever give you for what you do for me. I
just wanted to make up for that in some small way so you know I
appreciate you.”

“You don’t owe
me anything,” I countered, frowning. Everything I did for her, I
did because I wanted to. I wanted to be there for her and make her
happy; I knew deep down inside that was what I was made for.

“I feel like I
do,” she shrugged.

I sighed and
looked deeply into her chocolate brown eyes, wishing I could make
her see that we were made for each other. “Well you don’t,” I
dismissed.

She smiled and
shrugged, reaching for my book. “Let’s just agree to disagree.” She
flopped back against the pillows, flicking through the pages.

I shook my
head, wondering if she’d ever see how special she was. I didn’t
think she would. I settled back against the pillows too, looking
through the games with a huge grin on my face. They were all things
that I would choose for myself, and I couldn’t wait to play them.
After a couple of minutes, I rolled on to my side, resting my arm
over her stomach, just taking her in.