Nothing To Lose: A Grey Justice Novel (5 page)

“I thought what you did was very heroic. Not many men would call a taxi for his date and then demand she wait outside for it or he would pick her up and throw her out.”

Nick chuckled as he remembered. “I’m not sure what surprised Hilary the most—me telling her to leave or you asking her if she wanted you to wrap up some of your lowbrow meal to take with her.”

She grinned. “It was tempting to let her wear it home. You’ll never know how close I came to dumping the potato salad on her beautiful head.”

“Can’t help but believe that would have improved her looks.”

They were still laughing when Julie entered. “Now that’s a sound I love to hear.” She glanced at Kennedy. “Ready to eat?”

Sitting up, she straightened her clothes. “Thank you…yes. I’m suddenly famished.”

Julie placed a tray over Kennedy’s lap. “We’re going to take off now. Nick’s staying the night.”

Kennedy gave Nick a telling glance. She didn’t want Julie to know that he wasn’t staying. He hadn’t given up on changing her mind, but he went along with her unspoken request.

“Thank you so much for everything, Julie,” Kennedy said. “You’ve been a godsend.”

Julie kissed the top of her head. “Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Nick stood and gave Julie a hug, and then with one last encouraging, “Eat up,” Julie walked out the door.

“Want me to leave you alone to eat?”

“No, stay with me if you don’t mind.” Her eyes dropped to her plate. “In fact, you can help me eat some of this. Julie took ‘you’re eating for two’ quite literally.”

“Eat what you can.”

Nick was pleased to see that she was indeed diving into the meal with gusto. Color was coming back to her pale face, and that lost, shattered look had disappeared from her eyes, at least for a while.
 

Kennedy had been amazingly strong and brave throughout the funeral. He feared that tomorrow, though, when all the busyness of the last two days had passed, the pain would really take its toll. Trying to get back to normal when life was no longer normal could be hellish.

 
“That was good, but I don’t think I can eat any more.”

Nick took the tray from her, pleased that she had eaten more than half the meal. “Why don’t you get dressed for bed? Sounds like everyone’s gone. I’ll go lock up for the night.”

“Thanks for everything.”

“I have my clothes in the car. One word from you, and I’ll bunk down in the guest room. It’d make me feel better.”

Again, she shook her head, and her eyes glistened with tears. “This may sound weird, but I just really think I want to be alone to say goodbye to Thomas. Just me and the baby. Okay?”

His chest tight, Nick nodded. “It doesn’t sound weird at all.” And it didn’t. He’d done the same thing the night after his mother’s funeral. He glanced down at her cellphone on the nightstand. “Call me if you need anything. I don’t care what time it is or what you need. I can be here within minutes.”

The sweet smile she gave him kicked him deep in the gut. Nick turned away and grabbed the tray before he did something stupid, like grabbing Kennedy, holding her close and promising nothing would ever hurt her again. He’d long ago given up on making promises he couldn’t keep.

Chapter Four

A whisper of sound woke Kennedy, and she smiled sleepily.
Thomas.
He was talking in his sleep again. He hadn’t done that in a while. She reached over to touch him as she had so many times in the past. The place where he slept was cold and empty. Frowning, she blinked open sleep-heavy eyes and looked around. The room was dark and still…empty. Where was he? Had he gotten up, and she hadn’t heard him? She twisted her head slightly, and then it hit her, as it had the past three nights. Thomas was gone. She would never be able to touch or hold him again.
 

She turned to curl up in a tight ball, needing to release the grief. A low, dull pain in her back stopped her. She’d been feeling a little ache there all day but had thought it was because she had been on her feet too much in heels. Now she wasn’t so sure. She reached behind her to rub the spot, and the pain increased. Another one followed, this time in her belly. Frantically, Kennedy placed her hand on her stomach. The baby had quieted down for the past few days, but that was all. She’d just been quiet...nothing more.
 

The pain hit her again, this time harder. Whatever the problem was, she needed to get to the hospital right away. Nothing could happen to her little girl. She swung her legs off the bed and grabbed her cellphone. Just one key to punch, and she would be in touch with Nick. He would be here within minutes and take her to the hospital. Agony struck. She grabbed her belly, the cellphone dropped from her hand. A streak of fire slashed through her, like the blade of a white-hot knife had been plunged deep within her womb. A warm gush of wetness flooded down her legs. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t.

Fiercely determined to save her child, Kennedy reached for the cellphone lying on the floor. She had to call someone…anyone.
God, please don’t let this be happening.
Her fingers grazed the phone…excruciating agony ripped through her. She screamed.

In the midst of rifling through Thomas O’Connell’s desk drawer, the man jerked up at the sound.
What the hell?

Another unearthly bellow echoed through the empty house.
 

He glanced around the room. Fifteen minutes of looking through every file and folder in O’Connell’s small study, and he had found nothing. Whatever information the man had, it wasn’t here. Now he had a decision to make. Pretend he hadn’t heard the screams and leave or go help?
 

Hell, he might be a heartless, unfeeling bastard, but even he wasn’t that cold. Exiting the study, he ran upstairs toward the sound of the cries and shoved open the door. The flashlight in his hand speared the darkness. His eyes took in the woman on her knees beside the bed, almost bent double in her agony.
 

“What’s wrong?”
 

She gasped out “Who are—” Pain distorted her face, and she cried, “My baby…something’s wrong.”

He reached for her, and she tried to back away. “No, who are—” She broke off and gasped out a soft, anguished sob.

He lifted her gently, laid her on the bed, and said firmly, “You have nothing to fear from me. I promise.” Pulling pillows from the top of the bed, he placed them under her feet. Taking the cellphone she must’ve dropped on the floor, he punched in 911. With the other hand, he took Kennedy O’Connell’s pulse. Rapid…way too rapid. When the operator answered, he told her the situation. She gave him instructions and assured him an ambulance would be there within ten minutes.
 

Ten minutes? Screw that. He could get her to the hospital in five.
 

“Okay, hold on. We’re going to the hospital.”

Scooping her into his arms, blankets and all, he rushed down the stairs and out the door. He placed her as gently as he could in the back seat of his SUV and then jumped in. It was past midnight…traffic was light. Ignoring every traffic light and stop sign, he pulled into the emergency entrance four minutes later and jumped out. Pulling open the back door, he cursed under his breath when he saw the blood. Damn…there was so much of it.
 

With soft utterances of reassurance that he knew in his gut were lies, he pulled the semiconscious woman into his arms and raced inside the hospital.
 

“I need help!” he shouted.
 

Nurses ran forward. A gurney appeared, and he relinquished his hold on the woman in his arms. Her face whiter than the sheets she lay on, her eyes closed into what looked like death. When the gurney disappeared behind closed doors, knowing he could do nothing more, he turned to leave.

A young woman in a nurse’s uniform appeared before him. “Sir, would you step over to the desk, please? I have some paperwork that needs to be filled out.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know her. I was walking to my car and found her out front.”

Her eyes widened—she’d bought his story. “Oh. Well, thank you for carrying her inside.”

 
“She did manage to tell me her name is Kennedy O’Connell. That’s all I know.”

Taking advantage of the woman’s inattention as she scribbled on the clipboard in her hand, he turned and strode quickly out the door. He was halfway to his car when he happened to catch a glimpse of his hands. Blood. Everywhere.
 

Shit.
Memories he’d fought a lifetime to smother flashed before his eyes. With a loud, vicious curse, he dove into his car and sped out of the parking lot.

Nick sat in the waiting room, waiting for word on Kennedy. If not for fellow police officer Pete Stark, whose wife, Holly, was an ER nurse, he might not have even known Kennedy was here, fighting for the life of her child and possibly her own.

One minute after Pete called him, he’d been on his way to the hospital. Julie had already been here, pacing—the slippers on her feet a testament to her need to get to her friend as soon as possible.
 

Nick had barely even noticed that his own feet were bare until Julie had pointed them out. Thankfully, Julie’s husband had been kind enough to bring him socks, shoes and a shirt before heading into work. Nick and Julie now sat in the waiting room, and in between jerking their heads up every time they heard a noise, they talked in soft, low tones about the damn cruelties of life.
 

A nurse had come by a half hour ago and given them the somber news that they were doing everything they could to save the baby but it wasn’t looking good. When he’d asked about Kennedy, the woman had just shrugged and repeated the same words: “We’re doing everything we can.”

Nick gazed down at the paper cup of cold coffee in his hand. Hell, he didn’t even remember how it got there. His total focus was on Kennedy. What was she going to do if she lost the baby? What if she didn’t make it?

He shoved a hand through his hair, guilt eating at him like a ravenous beast. “Dammit, I should have insisted on staying with her last night.”

Julie shook her head. “I’ve experienced Kennedy’s stubbornness. Once she makes up her mind about something, talking her out of it is almost impossible.”

“But why didn’t she call me…or you? Why the hell would she drive herself to the hospital?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she wasn’t thinking straight.”

Nick rubbed his tired, bloodshot eyes. No matter what Julie said, he blamed himself. If he had stayed, both she and the baby might have been fine. They might die because of his carelessness.

“Does she know you’re in love with her?”
 

Flinching at the question, Nick twisted his head around to stare at Julie. “What the hell are you talking about?”
 

“Kennedy. Does she know?”
 

Hell, was he that obvious? Nick shook his head. “You got it wrong. She’s Thomas’s wife and my friend. Yeah, I care about her. I don’t love her…at least not the way you’re implying.”
 

She gave a small knowing smile, shrugged. “My mistake. But just so you know, it’s not a crime to love a woman.”
 

“Might not be a crime, but it’d be damn wrong. Thomas was my best friend.”
 

“You don’t choose who you love.”
 

“No, but you can make sure the love you have doesn’t hurt someone else.” Nick pushed up from the chair. “I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation. Kennedy is my friend. Nothing more.”

“She’s going to need you more than ever now.”
 

“And she has me for as long as she needs me. I’ll be there for her. Don’t worry about that.”
 

“And what happens to what Nick needs?”
 

He shrugged. His needs were way down on his list of priorities right now. “She’s my only concern.”
 

The sound of a throat being cleared had them both turning. A middle-age man wearing blue scrubs stood a few feet away. The deep furrows in his brow and grim set to his mouth made Nick tense up even more.

Almost afraid to ask, he said gruffly, “How is she?”
 

“You’re her family?”

Before Julie could respond, Nick said, “Yes, we are.”

“Mrs. O’Connell is stable. She lost a lot of blood, but she’s going to be fine.”

“And the baby?”

“I’m sorry, he couldn’t be saved.”

Nick closed his eyes. He was beyond grateful that Kennedy would be okay, but how in the hell was she going to survive losing both Thomas and their baby?

“She’s been under a tremendous amount of stress,” Julie said. “Her husband was killed three days ago.”

The doctor nodded. “I saw that on her chart.”
 

“Does she know about the baby?” Nick asked.
 

“Not yet. She’s still under.” The doctor lifted his shoulder in a tired, resigned shrug. “These things happen. She’s a healthy young woman and should be able to have successful pregnancies in the future.”