Nothing To Lose: A Grey Justice Novel (6 page)

“Can we see her?” Julie said.

“Yes. Someone will let you know as soon as she’s moved to a regular room. She’ll be unconscious for at least another hour, though.”
 

After the doctor moved away, they both dropped back into their chairs. “I can’t believe all of this has happened to her,” Julie said. “It’s so damned unfair.”

Even though Nick had long ago realized that life was rarely fair, this went way beyond even his realm of understanding. What the hell had she done to deserve this? Absolutely nothing.

Julie glanced down at her watch. “I really need to get home to the kids for a couple of hours. Can you stay here till I get back?”
 

“Yeah, no problem.”
 

She patted his hand and walked wearily away.

Nick slumped down into the chair and covered his face with his hands. Even though he felt a huge relief that Kennedy would be okay, he couldn’t help but wonder just how well she would recover. Losing Thomas had been gut-wrenching enough, but now their baby? How the hell was she going to be able to survive this? Just how much more shit could life throw at her?
 

Kennedy blinked her eyes open, wondering why she felt so groggy and weak. She moved slightly and then moaned at the soreness in her entire body. What had happened?
 

“Hey,” a gruff male voice said.
 

Turning her head, she saw Nick sitting beside her. Machines surrounded her. An IV was attached to her hand. She was in the hospital. Her eyes swung to her stomach. It was flatter. Flatter than it had been for months. No, sweet God in heaven, no!
 

“I’m so sorry, Kennedy,” Nick said huskily. “They did everything to try to save the baby. For a while, we thought we were going to lose you, too.”
 

That would have been best. She had lost Thomas, and now she had lost their daughter. All that she’d had left of Thomas. Her sweet baby was gone.
 

“What was it?” Her voice sounded raspy and hoarse.
 

“What?”
 

“Was it…a girl?”
 

“No, a boy.”
 

The tears came then. Thomas had been wrong. Would he have been disappointed? No, of course not. Thomas would have loved him and been the perfect dad, just as he’d been the perfect husband.

She drew in a trembling breath. She couldn’t give in to the pain. Not yet, not yet. She managed a sad hiccupping laugh. “A little boy would have hated the lilac bedroom.”
 

A small smile stretched Nick’s mouth. “Yeah, I would think so.”
 

“I’ve lost everything.”

His large, warm hand covered hers. “No, you haven’t. You have people who love you. Law school…a good job. You’ve got so much going for you. Yeah, life has kicked the shit out of you, but you’re stronger than what it can do to you.”

She didn’t speak for a long time. Had no words that could express the grief. A part of her knew she was still in shock. Knew that when everything hit her, she’d lose all control. For right now, the numbness felt good. It was a relief to not feel anything.

“I wish you’d called me instead of driving to the hospital yourself.”

Her brow wrinkled as she tried to remember. She had driven herself?
 

“I…what…” She shook her head to clear the haziness. “Are you sure I drove?”

“Your car was parked at the entrance to the ER.”

She had been in such agony…her only focus had been on saving the child inside her. Maybe she had only imagined a tall, dark man bringing her to the hospital. But if that were true, how could she know he’d had a crisp, British accent and cobalt-blue eyes?

“Julie will be here in a little while to stay with you. Then I’ll be back tonight. Is there anything I can get you from your house?”

Nick’s words brought her back to the present. “No…please.” She took a breath. “Don’t be offended, but please don’t come back tonight. And call Julie and let her know not to come. I really need to be alone.”

His brow furrowed in disapproval. “Kennedy, I—”

“Please, Nick. Do this for me. I’m surrounded by doctors and nurses…I’ll be fine.”

He squeezed her hand again and shook his head. “No, I’m not leaving you alone. Not again.”

“Please…I–.” The lump in her throat impossibly large, she swallowed hard. “I’m begging you, Nick. I have to be alone. Do this for me.”

“Kennedy, I…” His expression one of helplessness, he pressed a kiss to her hand and then stood. “Okay.” He stood, leaned over and dropped another kiss to her forehead. “I’m here if you need me. I’ll always be here for you. Just remember that.” He pointed at the table beside her bed, much as he had last night. “Your cellphone is there with my phone number in it. Call me, no matter what time. Okay?”

How things had changed in a matter of hours. Last night she’d still had hope…a purpose. Now she had nothing. Unable to face him, to see his compassion and pain for her, she kept her gaze on the far wall as she managed another nod.
 

He stood for several seconds, as if unsure whether he should leave. Then, finally, he sighed heavily, and she heard the door close behind him.

Kennedy continued to stare straight ahead. She was alone. For the first time in four months, she was completely alone. No tiny little being living inside her, cocooned and safe within her womb. Her baby was gone, as was her husband. She was completely, utterly alone. Much the way she had been when she’d first met Thomas. He had given her everything she’d always dreamed of and now it had all been taken away.

A jagged, ugly sound echoed through the room, as if to emphasize its emptiness. Another sound, even uglier, followed. And at last, Kennedy rolled to her side, buried her face in her pillow, and allowed grief to consume her.

Chapter Five

Nick threw back another slug of coffee as he looked out the dirty broken window of the abandoned apartment building. Sad, lonely place to die. He turned back to the massacre on the floor. Three dead bodies. An execution? Gang shooting? Single bullet hole in the middle of each of their foreheads, close range. No discernible defensive wounds. Like they’d lined up willingly and then been gunned down, one by one.

“You look like day-old dog shit.”

He looked over at his partner. Margo Gentry was as gruff and outspoken as any seasoned homicide detective, but beneath her rough edges lay a kind heart. He and Margo had been partners since he’d been bumped to detective. There was little they didn’t know about each other and almost nothing they wouldn’t say to one another.
 

He drained the last of his coffee, crushed the paper cup in his hand. “Been awhile since I slept.”
 

“Why didn’t you take more time off? Captain would’ve understood.”

“Staying busy helps.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
 

And she did. Margo had lost her sixteen-year-old son a few years back to leukemia.
 

She turned back to the bodies on the floor. “So, we’ve ID’d two of the perps as gangbangers from Delano. The other one, blond guy, is unknown.”

“I know him…Stevie Miller. Busted him when I was a street cop. He was just a kid then.”

Margo glanced down at Stevie’s body. “Doesn’t look older than seventeen now.”

“He’s probably in his late-twenties. Spent some time in juvie for possession. Can’t remember how much. Apparently not enough to make a difference, though.” Nick drew closer to the body lying beside Stevie’s. Holy shit, he knew this one, too.

“What’s wrong?” Margo asked.

“Just realized I know the one on the end, too. Frankie Chavez. Thomas questioned him when he was working the Slater case. I remember him from a photo Thomas showed me. He worked part time for the Slater family…was most closely associated with Jonah.”

Nick stooped down for a closer look. Hell, this kid had been put through some serious pain. Fairly recently, too. Burn marks scattered around his neck, looked as though they went down his torso. Nick noticed a few knife scars—probably a couple of years old. But the burns were recent. Maybe only a day or so old.
 

“Looks like he was tortured before he was shot.” He scanned the bodies of the other two victims. No burns. Nothing other than the neat little bullet hole in each of their foreheads. “Question is, who and why?”

“M.E. says time of death was between nine and eleven last night.”

“What kind of information did this guy have for them to torture and then kill him?”

“Maybe when we know more about them…what they’ve been up to…it’ll be clearer why they were killed.”

“Yeah.” Damn, this was too much of a coincidence, wasn’t it? First, Thomas was killed by a kid, who from all accounts shouldn’t have had any reason to rob a store, much less kill a cop. Now, a couple of days later, a kid Thomas had questioned who was associated with the Slaters is found tortured and shot to death. The brief conversation he’d had with Thomas an hour before he was killed rolled around in his brain. Could this have anything to do with the Slaters?

No, none of this made sense. Why would one of the most prominent families in America have anything to do with a gangbanger? Nick rubbed his gritty, tired eyes. Lack of sleep was making him see connections that didn’t exist. Guys like these got killed every day. What could one have to do with the other?

Margo scribbled something in her notepad, thankfully not seeing anything odd in his behavior. She looked up to say, “Before I forget… Norm’s birthday is today. We’re having a little impromptu get-together. Why don’t you come? It’ll help get your mind off things.”

“I thought you said he didn’t want any kind of celebration.”

“He did, but I woke up this morning pissed as hell about that. I won’t make a big fuss, but it seems crazy to just pretend like it’s a regular day. I figure throwing a few steaks on the grill wouldn’t seem too fancy. He’ll just have to get over the birthday cake I ordered from the grocery store.”

“Wish I could come, but Kennedy’s being released from the hospital today. I thought I’d go over and keep her company.”
 

Compassion darkened Margo’s eyes. “How’s that dear, sweet girl doing?”

That was a good question, but one he wasn’t sure he could answer with any degree of inside knowledge. Kennedy had amazed him with her strength. Just about anyone who’d gone through what she had experienced might have suffered severe depression or even worse. And though he had seen monumental grief, she had pulled herself together and seemed to be pushing through it.
 

“Better than anyone could have anticipated.”

“It’s amazing what the human spirit can endure. Sounds like she’s a strong woman.”

“She is, but…”

“But what?”

He couldn’t answer that question. Kennedy brought out every protective instinct he possessed. He wanted to shield her from every hurt. He wanted to hold her, comfort her…be everything to her. No…hell, no. What was wrong with him? He couldn’t think like that.

“Nick? You okay? You’re looking a bit green about the gills.”
 

 
“Yeah…yeah. I’m fine.” He turned back to the three bodies on the floor. “Let’s find out if there are any surveillance cameras in this area. Maybe if we’re lucky, we can ID the killers and have this wrapped up by dinnertime.”

Giving him a strange, knowing look, Margo went on to talk about what they’d found at the crime scene.
 

Nick pushed his insanely inappropriate thoughts away. Kennedy needed him as a friend…nothing more. It was time to prove his love for her by being just that.
 

Odd how everything could look the same but yet be so completely different. Kennedy stepped up on the porch. A silent Julie stood behind her. Knowing her friend, she was most likely struggling to say something encouraging and uplifting. If so, it was understandable she was so quiet. No amount of encouraging, uplifting words could fix this.

Turning back to the woman who’d been her friend the moment they’d met three years ago, Kennedy forced a smile. “Thanks for bringing me home, but I think I’d prefer to go in alone.”

Unshed tears gleamed in Julie’s eyes. “Absolutely not. I’m going to get you settled with a cup of hot tea, and then make you a good, nutritious lunch.”
 

She started for the door, but Kennedy held out her hand to stop her. “Please, Julie. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know, but I need to do this alone.”

“That’s the thing you keep saying and you shouldn’t. You don’t have to do anything alone. I’m here for you. Loads of people are here for you.”

“I know…” Kennedy swallowed the lump in her throat that had been with her for over a week now. “Believe me, I wouldn’t have made it this past week without you. But this…” She looked over her shoulder. “This is what I need…for right now.” Turning back to her friend, she said, “Please understand.”

Even though her eyes flashed in disapproval, she thankfully backed away, saying, “Call me if you need me.”