Notorious (18 page)

“At least come to B.J. and Jonas's wedding,” he said.

Her heart twisted with agony. The wedding. Of course. What had she expected, that he'd fall to his knees and declare he couldn't live without her? That only happened in the movies. Somehow she managed to speak around the lump in her throat. “I'd only cause problems.”

He shook his head. “I really think B.J. would love to have you there, and so would Arch.”

She didn't know where she found the reserves to discuss this with him, but she dug deep and came up with a reasonably coherent response. “I haven't spoken to either of them for ten years. I can't just waltz in there in the middle of B.J.'s big day. That wouldn't be fair to anyone.” And loving Noah as she did, she'd want to touch him, hold him, make love to him. Knowing that she couldn't would be torture.

“All right,” he said quietly. “What if I mentioned to them that I ran into you and—”

She started. “Noah, you can't be planning to tell them what we—”

“No. I wouldn't do that, Keely. What we've done this weekend is our own private business.”

“Thank you.” The panic quieted in her chest. Noah had been a safe choice for adventure because he would never endanger her, physically or mentally. She knew that, but he'd given her a scare for a moment.

“Would you like to be at the wedding?” he asked.

Such a complicated question. But in the end, when she considered that her baby sister was getting married, that it was a day that could never be repeated, there was only one answer. “Yes.”

“Then let me mention that I saw you. I'm sure they'll want you there, but I can drop you a line and let you know for sure, so there's no doubt that they're expecting you.”

“There's another issue.” She held his gaze, her heart thumping. “We both agree there's no future for us, right?”

His expression was guarded. “That's what you said.”

“It's what I believe.” She ran a tongue over her dry lips. “So how will that be, if I come back to the ranch for a couple of days? Can we handle that?”

His glance settled briefly on her mouth and heat flickered in his eyes. Then he looked away and cleared his throat. “Looks like we'll have to, for B.J. and Jonas's sake. Like you said, we don't want to take the focus off their big day.” He faced her again and his chest heaved. “If you can deal with it, then I can.”

She had no idea if she could or not. “Like you said, we'll have to. For the sake of the people we love.” And she included him in that category.

“Right.”

“Thank you for suggesting that I go,” she said, meaning every word. “Assuming B.J. and Dad want me, it's the right thing to do. After all, B.J. and Jonas will probably have kids someday.”

“Yeah, they probably will.” His response was rich with longing.

Of course, he wanted children, she thought with a pang of regret. She hadn't ever considered kids, but if she could have one who called Noah daddy, that would be…special. Talk about a daydream. “I'll want to see my nieces and nephews,” she said, “so I need to get past this awkwardness with B.J. and Dad, and the sooner I do that, the better.”

He nodded. Then he stood there gazing at her until the air seemed to crackle between them.

She wondered what he'd do if she flung back the covers and opened her arms. From the look in his eyes, he'd miss his plane. But he didn't really want to do that.

So she would help him. “You need to go,” she murmured.

He closed his eyes. “Keely—”

“Go, damn it! I can only be noble for so long!”

Without another word he left, closing the door carefully behind him. The automatic lock clicked into place.

She lost track of time as she sat staring at the closed door, willing him to knock and ask to be let back in. She stayed rigid and motionless until her head pounded and her eyes stung. But no knock came. He'd accepted her decision to end this amazingly beautiful connection between them.

The words she'd never spoken aloud rose in her throat, demanding to be free. “I love you, Noah,” she whispered hoarsely into the silence.

 

K
EELY DIDN'T WANT
his love. Noah struggled with that knowledge as the plane left Las Vegas. In spite of everything, he'd been about to tell her that he loved her, but she'd cut him off, as if she didn't want him to make the mistake of declaring his feelings and saying things he couldn't take back.

Maybe she even loved him a little bit, too. He would have sworn that was love he'd seen in her eyes toward the end of their precious time together. But loving a guy like him would only tie her down, so she'd do her best to get over it. He wondered how well she'd succeed. As for him, there was a hole in his heart big enough to drive a truck through.

Suggesting that she come to the wedding had been a desperate attempt to maintain a tie with her. He suspected that B.J. and Arch would be thrilled to have her come home for the big day, and Jonas would be happy about it, too. Noah was more than willing to do them a favor, but his motives were
purely selfish. Keely might not want his love, but the closer he came to Arizona, the less he was prepared to accept that as a final decision.

Still, he knew there were rough times ahead, and he was glad he'd arranged to get Keely back on Twin Boulders soil, where he was thoroughly grounded. In order to perform a miracle and coax Keely into his life, he needed all his strength, and he drew that strength from the land where he was born.

Yet he had to be careful that he didn't overpower her and force her into a life she didn't want. He was counting on the fact that she might not know what she wanted, or more precisely, what she needed. She'd convinced herself that she couldn't possibly fit in at the ranch, but he wanted to see that for himself.

Maybe she was right. Maybe when he looked at her and visualized her surrounded by their children, he was experiencing hallucinations brought on by the greatest sex he'd ever known. But after making love to Keely the way he had that last time, he couldn't imagine anyone else as his mate or the mother of his kids. A few other times in his life when he'd been sexually involved with a woman, even thought himself in love, he'd tried to picture that woman pregnant with his baby. The image had never come into focus.

But now…now it was clear as a bell. He could feel himself thrusting deep inside Keely and spilling his seed. Then, in a few weeks, they'd share the joy of knowing that she'd conceived. He could picture her eyes lighting up at the moment they knew for sure. Her body would grow round and ripe, sensuous in a new way. The image brought a rush of anticipation. Then the hour would come when she would give birth, and he would hold the child they'd created, the baby who was a visible sign of their passion….

He must be going crazy. Only a crazy man would fantasize about making a woman pregnant when she didn't want
to admit that she loved him and certainly didn't want him to tell her of his love. Only a crazy man would think he had enough imagination, enough moves, enough love to satisfy a wild child like Keely Branscom.

But Noah would give ten years of his life for a chance to prove that he was the only man fit for the job.

“I'
VE DECIDED
we need a piece on cyber-infidelity. The angle I had in mind was ‘Are you cheating with an online lover?'” Carolyn clicked her ballpoint pen repetitively as she glanced at her editorial staff seated around the conference table. “Keely, why don't you see what you can do with that?”

Keely nodded automatically. She didn't want the assignment, but she'd take that up with Carolyn later. One of the younger writers might really get into the topic, but it didn't do a thing for Keely.

Although five days had gone by since she'd made love to Noah, her body still hummed with memories. After being touched like that, she had zero interest in the subject of cybersex. The idea of screen-to-screen hanky-panky paled next to being in the same bed with a man like Noah, skin-to-skin.

As the meeting droned on, she evaluated the other story assignments Carolyn handed out in case one of them would work as a potential trade. Unfortunately, they all sounded like a major yawn. She probably needed more caffeine.

Or more sleep. Sleep would be a good thing. Sleep had not been her friend since leaving Vegas. She gazed out the office window. Maybe the air quality was dragging her down. L.A. had been suffering through a major inversion the last couple of days and the air was the color and odor of dirty gym socks.

A day at the beach catching those California rays and she'd be right as rain. Sure she would. Like hell she would. She missed the guy, missed him like crazy.

She wondered how long she'd feel the effects of her weekend with Noah. Anyone would think she'd broken off a five-year relationship the way she was moping around the office and her apartment. Nothing interested her, with the exception of one brief shopping trip when she'd bought a dress to wear to B.J.'s wedding. She might have been premature in that purchase, because for some reason Noah hadn't sent her the all-clear signal yet. The absence of that signal nagged at her constantly.

She'd realized several hours after he'd left that she hadn't given him her home e-mail address, so she'd begun worrying that he wouldn't think to send the e-mail to her office address. If he'd thought of doing that, she wondered if he'd know to look inside the magazine's cover for the address. Not everyone realized that the publisher could be reached at—

“Keely? Yo, Keely!”

She glanced up with a start and discovered everyone at the conference table smirking at her, including Carolyn.

“We've all taken bets,” Carolyn said, “and most of us, myself included, think you met some hunk in either Vegas or Reno, which explains why you've been so whacked since you came back. Care to enlighten us?”

“No.”

“I was right!” said Andrea, a cute blonde of twenty-two with a bright future in journalism. She'd be perfect for the cybersex story. “I said if she refuses to dish, then it was more than a fling.”

Keely pushed back her chair. She really didn't need this. “It's flu, is what it is, and if you guys aren't careful I'll plant a big kiss full of icky germs on each one of you.”

Denise, the outer-office receptionist, poked her head in the conference-room door. “Excuse me, but I have a guy out here who needs to deliver his singing telegram, and he's late for his next gig. Can you spare Keely for a minute?”

Keely groaned. “You guys didn't have to do this. I promise to cheer up. Just don't make me face a singing telegram.”

Carolyn looked around the room, her eyebrows raised. “Well,
I
didn't order the singing telegram. Did one of you?”

Their chorus of denials didn't convince Keely. She leveled a stern look at all of them, but nobody cracked. She sighed. “Okay, I might as well get this over with.” She stood and headed for the door. “Note to self—stay perky on the job or you'll be sent a singing telegram and be embarrassed like you wouldn't believe.”

Her cohorts trailed out after her, the better to view her humiliation, she assumed. She'd never received a singing telegram before, so she didn't know exactly what to expect, but definitely not a guy who looked as if he played pro football. He wore a baseball cap backward, a T-shirt and multiple gold chains.

“Miz Keely Branscom?” he asked.

Keely grimaced. “I'm afraid so.”

The man nodded and began to chant in a rap beat, gyrating to the rhythm.

Keely's first reaction was shock, because a singing telegram was so not what she'd expected from her family, but as the significance of the message sank in, tears pushed at the back of her eyes. “Th-thank you,” she told the guy as she blinked to clear her vision.

“No problem.” With a little bow, the man turned and sauntered out of the office.

“Wow,” Carolyn said as she walked over to Keely's desk. “You have a sister who's getting married?”

Keely nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
We been missin' you a lot.
Oh, God, why had she let ten years go by?

Carolyn took a closer look at Keely's face. “I think you have an RSVP call to make.”

“Yep.” Keely sniffed.

Carolyn tilted her head toward the door of her private office. “Why don't you use my phone?”

Keely gave her a shaky smile of gratitude. “I'd appreciate that,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. Swiping at her eyes, she walked quickly into Carolyn's office and closed the door. Then she pressed both hands against her stomach. Ten years. She'd missed ten years of her father's voice and B.J.'s laughter. Ten years of birthdays, Christmas mornings, hugs and memories.

She couldn't imagine how they could ever forgive her. And yet they'd sent a singing telegram with a corny, touching, homemade rap verse just for her.

With trembling hands she picked up the receiver of Carolyn's telephone and dialed an outside line. Then she punched in the number that came to her as easily as a favorite nursery rhyme, even though she hadn't used it in ten years.

B.J. answered, sounding older. Of course she was older. She'd been only seventeen the last time Keely had seen her.

“B.J., it's Keely.” Tears poured down her cheeks.

“Keely? Is it really you?”

“Oh, God, yes. I'm so sorry, B.J.” Her words tumbled out between choked little sobs. “I've missed you so much. So much. Can I really come to your wedding?”

B.J. started crying, too. “You'd better! You'd better come or I'll send another singing-telegram guy, and this one will be armed!” Laughter mixed in with her jerky sobs. “You hear me, Keely Marie?”

“I hear you,” Keely said, smiling despite the tears that didn't seem to want to stop. She fumbled for the box of tissues
on Carolyn's desk. “I'll be there. So, was the singing telegram your idea?”

“Nope.”

“Dad's?” Keely had a hard time picturing that.

“No, but he was all for it.”

“Okay, I know. Jonas was behind it. He's just the type.”

B.J. laughed. “You're right, he is, but Noah's actually the one who thought it up. He said we couldn't just send an e-mail because it would be too boring.”

“Noah?” Keely's heart squeezed. Lord, how she loved that man. “Well, tell him I wasn't bored.”
Tell him I'm crazy about him.
“Who made up the rap thing?”

“Oh, we all worked on that. Pretty cool, huh?”

“Very cool.” Her throat tightened with a fresh surge of emotion. “I loved it.”

“Dad wanted to make it country instead, but we thought rap fit L.A. better, and maybe it wouldn't be
quite
so embarrassing for you at the office.”

“Oh, it was plenty embarrassing, but I don't care a bit.”

“Good. I was hoping that would be the way you'd react. Listen, Dad's out in the west pasture, but if you want to call back tonight—”

“You know what? When I talk to Dad, I'd like to be standing right in front of him. I think I'll wait until I get there.”

B.J.'s voice was gentle. “His bark is worse than his bite, Keely. He's missed you something awful. We all have. Noah told us about your job. I can't believe I've never seen your name in that magazine, but you know me, I mostly read State Line Tack catalogs for fun.” She paused and chuckled. “Or I did. Lately my tastes run more toward
Playgirl
.”

“B.J.!” Keely wasn't sure what she thought about her little sister ogling naked men.

B.J. laughed. “I'm not the same uptight woman I was when you left, Keely.”

“Well, I guess not!”

“In fact, I think we're overdue for a long, sisterly talk.”

Keely gulped back a fresh onslaught of tears. “We sure are,” she said.

“When can you get here?”

Keely had been eyeing her schedule ever since she'd returned from her trip. It was packed with work. “Coming in the day before is the best I can do. I know that sucks, but this was unexpected. I'll have to juggle a few things to even take that Friday off, but I'm determined to do it.”

“Then Friday it is. Want me to pick you up at the airport?”

“Absolutely not. You're the bride and you have things to do.”

“I'll bet Noah could.”

Not on your life, babe.
“You know what? Let me rent a car.” A convertible, she was thinking. The prodigal daughter needed to make a splash when she arrived back in Saguaro Junction after a ten-year absence.

“Renting a car seems silly,” B.J. said. “I'm sure that Noah—”

“I want to rent the car,” Keely said. “Think red Mustang convertible. Think top down, radio blaring, going down Main Street past the feed store, past the café, past the bench in front of the post office…”

“Okay.” There was a grin in B.J.'s voice. “I get it. God, it's gonna be great to see you again. Set those tongues to waggin', Keely. It's been duller than dust around here without you.”

Keely had a sudden moment of uncertainty. “Maybe I shouldn't do the convertible thing. I don't want to upstage the bride.”

That really made B.J. laugh. “There was a time I would have been worried about that. But I have Jonas right where I want him, and that's all I care about. Come back in full sail, Keely. This girl can take it.”

“I can hardly wait.”

“Me neither. See you soon.”

Keely couldn't stop grinning as she hung up the phone. She was dying to see what sort of transformation had taken place with B.J., who'd been the quintessential tomboy the whole time they'd been growing up. Keely had always thought that B.J. took that role in self-defense because Keely had grabbed the sex-symbol image so early on and B.J. hadn't wanted to compete.

But maybe Keely's long absence had been a good thing for B.J. Without Keely around, she might have felt more free to try her sexual wings. It was majorly weird to think about that, but it was comforting to imagine that the separation might have produced something positive. And Keely was thrilled to be forewarned, so she wouldn't head to the ranch expecting her sister to be an Annie Oakley look-alike.

Then Keely's mind circled back to the topic it couldn't seem to leave alone. Noah. She still couldn't believe he'd instigated the rapper stunt. The guy was full of surprises, and she was a sucker for surprises. Leaving him strictly alone next weekend was not going to be easy.

 

N
OAH GOT HOME
after dark to find Jonas and B.J. cozied up on the front-porch swing. “Okay, keep it clean,” he said as he walked up the steps. “I want all your hands out where I can see them.”

Jonas flashed him a dry smile. “You're just jealous because you don't have a babe like B.J. to make out with.”

“Keely called,” B.J. said. “She loved the rapper telegram and she's definitely coming to the wedding. You must have stayed well out of sight, because obviously she didn't have a clue you were there.”

“That's good.” Noah leaned against the porch railing. In a way, he'd been disappointed that she hadn't seen him just outside the door of the office. He wasn't sure what he'd have done if she'd caught him standing there, but he'd had a tough time being so close and not making contact. Damn, but she'd looked incredible in her silk blouse and tight little skirt.

“Was the office nice?” B.J. asked.

“I guess.” He'd barely noticed the office once Keely had walked out of that conference room looking so efficient, with her hair scooped up on top of her head and a pencil stuck through her red curls. The spiral notebook in her hand had reminded him of teenage fantasies in which a full-breasted secretary invited him to have sex on the top of a wide executive desk. Come to think of it, he had a desk like that in his office at the ranch….