Now and Forever (18 page)

A dream.

But it seemed so real. All of his dreams involving Grace had a sense of reality about them, involving a multitude of sights, sounds and sensations. Not to mention tastes. Savoring the memory of her flavor helped him take the edge off some nights. The memories never relieved his tension completely, but just enough to keep him from doing an incredibly crazy thing. And the countless cold showers had gotten old and tired. Only his woman’s body would alleviate the ache in his midsection. Since she wasn’t around and refused to answer his calls, he closed his eyes. When all else failed, he could dream about her and no one could stop him.

He started with her lips. Soft and full, they were sweet like cotton candy. Tenderly, she brushed her lips across his lips. Imaging those light, feathery kisses made his head swirl. His heart skipped a beat when she increased the pressure, prying his lips apart with her tongue. Possessively, she claimed his mouth. He was her willing captive, praying for a life sentence. He groaned as she plundered his mouth and skimmed her fingers down his chest. His muscles tightened. It was so real.
Too real…

His eyes flew open. The sight of Sheila knocked the air out him like a sledge hammer. Her hair was in disarray and she kissed him passionately. Pulling away from her, he muttered an oath. “Sheila, take your hands off of me and get the hell out of my room!”

She raised herself onto her knees, giving him a full view of her sheer black lingerie. Not ready to throw in the towel just yet, she arched her back sensually and stared at him with bedroom eyes. “Tanner, baby, you don’t mean that. I know you still want me. I felt it in your kiss.”

He stared at her incredulously. Unable to mask the disgust grating his nerves, he snapped, “Don’t flatter
yourself
. I was dreaming about Grace.”

Sheila tossed her hair to one side in a huff.
 
Her long, elegant neck twisted and a sour look spoiled her pretty face. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m in your bed, looking extremely hot. You expect me to believe you thought I was…her?”

“Afraid so.”
He smirked.
“Surprised me, too.
You and Grace are nothing alike. She’s way out of your league.”

“Bastard!
How dare you insult me?” She picked up a pillow and threw it at his head.

When he successfully dodged the harmless object, she unleashed a string of unladylike expletives. She was on fire and wanted to burn him with her anger. Tears gathered in her eyes, a sign that her feelings and her ego had been bruised. “I thought you loved me.”

Tanner sighed. “I love Grace.”

“But I’m the mother of your child.”

“And I’m the pope,” he said sarcastically. He didn’t appreciate her using Ariel in an attempt to get her way. “Besides, the mother of my child would never be so…cold.”

Sheila stared at her reflection in the mirror, which faced the bed. She sought solace and reassurance in her beauty. When all else had failed, her astonishing physical appearance and undeniable sex appeal opened doors, which would have been otherwise closed to her. Swallowing her pain, she softened her features. Completely ignoring her additional God-given assets, she decided to exploit those she considered her best solely to draw Tanner to her. Puckering her lips, thrusting her breasts and poking her butt out, she said breathlessly, “I want you.”

Unfazed, he said, “You had me and took my feelings for granted. I got over it. Now is time for you to do the same.”

“You’re so cruel,” she pouted.

He saw her lips tremble. Her hands shook uncontrollably. A tantrum was building inside of her. If he didn’t end this fiasco soon, he could expect the next several hours to be crammed with her drama. No more drama. He didn’t need it. He wanted peace, a word Sheila didn’t know the meaning of. It was too early in the morning. “Clearly, we can’t live under the same roof. Tomorrow I will give you some money to get a place of your own. It should be more than enough to tide you over, until you find a job.”

Sheila gasped.

“I forgot. You don’t work.”

Ariel’s tiny voice broke through the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over the room. She cried and his heart gave a jerk. He looked at Sheila, wondering why she hadn’t bolted out the room. There was no reason for to stay with him. Two people in his house loved her, and he wasn’t one. He’d made that unequivocally clear. Ariel not only loved her, but also needed her. Even Sheila could understand this fact. “Don’t you hear Ariel?”

She remained rooted in her spot. A sea of emotions flooded her face. Her ears had gone deaf to his voice and her daughter’s cry.

Disregarding her current disposition, he hopped out of bed and tended to Ariel’s needs.

*

Fool, fool, fool
.

Grace stabbed a spoon into the ice cream, chastising herself with harsh chants. Her heart deflated. She indulged in a grand old pity party. The magnitude of her rotten day deserved recognition. She couldn’t ignore the fact that her grand fantasies had been destroyed. A wicked witch had swooped down on her broom and poisoned her with a lethal dose of reality. Witch or not, she had only herself to blame because she was the fool who chose to believe. “When will you learn, there is no castle, no king and no happy ending for you?”

She swallowed a spoonful of ice cream. The concoction melted slowly in her mouth, leaving behind a cold sensation. She wished the iciness had the ability to freeze her thoughts so they wouldn’t roam back to what took place outside of her lounge. She didn’t want to remember

Sheila holding Tanner’s…child.
Or how quickly her feelings of elation turned to depression.
Unwilling and unable to endure Tanner choosing between her and his child, she high-tailed it to her car like a scared rabbit and burned rubber. She had taken matters into her own hands out of fear, instead of kindness. Cowardice wasn’t worthy of praise in her mind.

“Nothing old, nothing new, nothing borrowed, only blue…forever,” she muttered under her breath.

Tears trickled down her cheeks. She didn’t wipe them away. No one was around to see her cry anyhow. And if they were, who cared? Her emotions were her own. So much had been stolen from her already and she needed something to hold on to. Possess. The feeling of robbed overpowered her. What had she been cheated out of exactly? Hope? No. Hope was around if she chose to cling to it. But she had definitely been deprived of Tanner. His body, his kiss and his touch were all gone. By now, he had probably reconciled his feelings of affection for Sheila, realizing she was a perfect ten, while Grace just didn’t measure up. It hurt.

She still loved him.

Now they were worlds apart in life. While she sat stuffing her face with ice cream and singing the blues, he was getting acquainted with his new family. She imagined him making silly faces, hoping to be rewarded with a smile from his daughter.
A beautiful picture.
Sad as it seemed, she had believed she would one day be in Sheila’s current position. Part of Tanner’s magic had been his ability to convince her nothing was impossible. That’s why she had gotten on board with the idea they would ride off into the sunset, swing from the chandeliers and have one child after another. She’d had faith in his power to see into the future, deeming his convictions were too strong to fail. In vain, she had ridden the waves of his certainty, until she washed ashore alone and disenchanted.

A hard knock at the door interrupted her joyless festivity. Oh, she didn’t dare flatter herself with the thought Tanner had come chasing after her. He had bigger fish to fry. She was no longer the catch of the day. So, whoever it was at her door could just leave. From the center of her couch, she barked, “Go away!”

“Not a chance!” Ava shouted. “Open this door, or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and cause a scene. And you really don’t want me to do that in this nice neighborhood!”

Instantly, Grace jumped to her feet. She rushed to the door with lightning speed, yanking it wide open. “What do you want?”

Instead of answering, Ava checked out her friend’s couch potato duds—frayed flannel pink bathrobe, tie-dyed t-shirt, baggy sweatpants and worn out slippers. Grace’s hair was pulled back and tied into a ponytail. Amused, she arched a brow. “Let me guess, you’re throwing the famous Grace Michaels Pity Party.
Tears and all.”

Defensively, Grace said, “That’s right. And I can cry if I want to.”

Ava chortled. Then, her expression became serious. “I remember the last one you threw. It was right after your divorce was finalized. Mind if I join you?”

“Yes, I do.”

Ava shrugged. “Prepare to get over it. I’m crashing your little shindig anyway.” With that said, she walked around Grace. The gallon of ice cream on the coffee table caught her attention immediately. “So, is tonight’s special chunky monkey, double fudge, or cookie dough?”

Grace tugged on her robe. Casting her eyes downward, she replied, “Cookie dough.”

Wrinkled lines appeared on Ava’s forehead. “This is bad. Well, I’m here for you, girl.”

She tossed her purse on a chair, kicked off her shoes and got comfortable on the couch.

Over her shoulder, she said, “Be a dear, and bring a bottle of wine and two glasses in here.”

Grace slammed the door. She couldn’t believe her ears. Ava had the situation twisted at the moment. Intent on correcting her friend’s misperception, she said, “Excuse me?”

“Sorry,” Ava said. “I meant to say will you
please
be a dear, and bring a bottle of wine and two glasses in here so we can drown our blues properly.”

“Don’t you mean
my
blues?” Grace asked.

“Nope.
I said ‘our blues’ on purpose. When you’re down in the dumps, I feel your pain,” Ava said, reaching for the ice cream. “Oh, bring an extra spoon.”

“I thought you were on a diet.”

Ava crossed her legs on the couch. Without blinking an eye, she said, “Hey, if I have to sacrifice my perfect size eight…um, four figure just to help see a friend through a rough time, so be it.”

Yeah, right
. In spite of herself, Grace smiled. Providing comic relief was one of her friend’s many attributes. There had been several instances when Ava had tickled her funny bone, while she sat blubbering about a bad day. She didn’t believe anyone looked good crying and laughing simultaneously, but sometimes, especially around a friend like Ava Williams, a girl had no choice.

Upon returning with her hands filled, she found Ava ruffling through her DVD collection. “I see you haven’t bought a movie in two years.”

Grace freed her hands and hunkered down on the couch, retrieving her tub of ice cream. “Most of those aren’t mine. Kevin forgot to take his movies with him.”

“No wonder the collection sucks,” Ava sniffed. “All that shoot
em
up and bang, bang stuff. Gross.” She plopped down beside her on the couch, dipping into the ice cream with a spoon.

Grace shot her a puzzled look. “When have we ever watched anything but
Pretty Woman
?”

Ava stopped licking her spoon. She reflected upon previous nights they had held their girlfriend get-together slash sob-fest. “You’re right. Since we both know we’re going to watch a movie before the night is over, why don’t we try something different? Like, I don’t know…watch a romantic comedy.”

“So we can whine about not finding a true love, unlike the character in the movie? Count me out. I’m depressed enough.”

“Good point.”

The phone rang, disrupting their semi-calm environment. Grace exchanged a knowing look with Ava just as her heart did something funny inside her chest. She didn’t move a muscle, but watched as Ava leaned over the arm of the couch, reading the phone’s caller ID, which sat on an end table. “Guess who.”

Grace swallowed the lump in her throat. She didn’t have a sixth sense or anything, but no one needed to tell her who was on the other end of the line. He’d been calling all night. She hadn’t answered once. What would she say to him? “Tanner.”

Ava’s eyes bounced from Grace to the phone. After several rings and no attempt by to Grace to answer it, silence emerged. She took a deep breath and measured her words.
“Trouble in paradise?”

Grace tugged on her hair awkwardly. “Isn’t there always for me? Any paradise I have includes one natural disaster after another.”

“Wow,” Ava said. “Crazy talk is coming out of your mouth, girl. Usually, you’re the sanest person I know. I sensed something was wrong when I went to get a business card from my car for Reverend Murphy’s wife, and I saw Tanner in a heated conversation with a pretty woman, holding a baby. You were nowhere in sight.”