Now and Forever (22 page)

“I’m trying to be a better man,” Kevin said. “The way I treated you was cold.
Heartless.
And I couldn’t get married again without that on my conscience. I wish I had the power to change the past, but I don’t. Please forgive me.”

Grace lifted her brows high. She couldn’t count the number of times she had rehearsed what she’d do if she’d ever set eyes on him again. First, she’d envisioned gracing his ears with every harsh curse word in the book. Then, she’d allow her size seven shoes to meet his family jewels with a firm kick. The opportunity had presented itself. He sat on her sofa, looking dejected and ripe for ridicule. Let him have it, a niggling voice in the back of her mind urged. She shushed it. “Why did you betray me?”

He shrugged.
“ All
of my friends cheated on their women. I wanted to be cool. Plus, I didn’t know what to do with the love of a good woman. Now I do.”

She smiled weakly. “Funny. You came here to clear your conscience so you can be free to live happily-ever-after with a good woman. I was the thing best thing you ever had.”

Kevin agreed. “You’ll get no argument from me. But the truth is I’m not the right man for you.
Never have been.”

Grace inhaled sharply. He’d struck a sensitive nerve. Though she’d never told anyone, she had pursued Kevin initially. In him, she’d seen everything she lacked. Kevin had been the kind of guy shy girls like her dreamed about making their man. He had been good-looking, adventurous, out-going and a bad boy. The kind of man a girl should only bed, not wed. One day, after bringing Kevin home to meet her mother, Deidre had told her a man like him would never be interested in a mousy girl like her. But Grace had proved her mother wrong. Not only had she gotten his attention, but she’d also acquired his last name. She sank into her seat, embarrassed. After marrying Kevin for all the wrong reasons, she’d actually expected a good outcome.

Kevin smiled sympathetically. “There’s another reason I wanted to see you. I’d spoken to your mother a few times over the years just to see how you were doing.”

Grace flinched. Her mother had not cared to mention her conversations with Kevin during any of her occasional, unwelcomed visits.

“She told me you were living like a…nun.”

Omigod
.
“Well…she…was…wrong.” Grace forced the words out her mouth, feeling foolish. She could only imagine the wonderful picture her mother had painted of her single, childless daughter.

He waved a hand. “I know she’s mistaken. You are a very desirable woman. I remember how guys did a double-take whenever you walked past them. Something tells me that you haven’t been able to find Mr. Right because of me.”

Grace stared at him silently. She braced herself for what came next.

“Let me go, Grace,” he said. “Because of my betrayal, you’ve lost faith in men…and love.

When I first met my fiancée, she was in a similar condition. The last man she loved damaged her heart and frame of mind so bad, her friends and family thought she would remain alone for the rest of her life.”

Grace snorted. “Yeah, that’s what happens when a good woman hooks up with some lying, two-timing scumbag.”

His shoulders slumped. “I used to be that guy, but I’ve changed. Breaking hearts was just a game to me. Until I met Josephine, I had no idea how deep those wounds ran. The time and effort I’d spent trying to make her mine had been immense. It was something I had to do. You know, love at first sight.”

Whoop-
dee
-doo.
Cupid had shot an arrow straight through Kevin’s butt, she thought dryly. Now he wanted to make nice since he’d found love. Good for him. What about her? “Everyone needs love,” she said, not really knowing what else to offer.

“You need love, too,” Kevin said. He leaned back, but not too much. “Grace, you’re sweet as honey and I know some man is helplessly drawn to you. It’s only natural. However, you compare him and every man you meet to me. You constantly doubt his intentions. This man is probably everything you’ve dreamed of and then some. Because of your trust issues, you won’t allow him to get too close. Am I right?”

Grace swallowed hard. Suddenly, her throat went dry. Her hands were clammy. Vivid images of Tanner flashed in her mind and she shuddered. He looked nothing like Kevin, sounded nothing like Kevin and loved nothing like him either. Tanner McGregor was his own man. His magic was rare. But she’d pushed him away time after time. Challenging him and doubting him, she’d shoved him five steps back with every step he took forward. Yep, her actions sounded bad and looked even worse on paper. Kevin was spot on. She gazed at him and answered, “Yes.”

He sighed. “I hate seeing a good woman go bad. The only thing worse is the man who caused her to go in that direction.”

“I agree.”

Kevin tugged on his shirt, which bunched around his midsection. Fits of silent giggles erupted in Grace. Mr. Six-pack had a small keg. Never in a million years had she pictured Kevin would one day look so…so homely. Nor would she have guessed he’d be a changed man on the inside. He used to be so shallow. The nice guy role he’d played while courting her hadn’t lasted long after they tied the knot. His attitude, his words and touch had become caustic. Sitting before her, he appeared to be a totally different person. His manner was affable. She could actually stomach his presence. The hurt she’d felt was no longer there, wrenching her heart.

His cell phone rang. He flipped it opened and looked at the number. A smile as brilliant as a meteor blazed across his face. “It’s Josephine.”

Grace sat quietly. She listened to her ex-husband give his fiancée the details about their little meeting
.
His laughter tinkled like wooden chimes as they spoke. The sight fascinated her. A look of unabashed love was written on his face. It was a look she had never seen when they were married. Had his affection for her ever extended beyond like? Had he ever made her lose her breath with a kiss?
A passionate gaze?
A tender touch?
These were questions she should’ve asked herself a long time ago.

The call ended. Kevin held the phone in the palm of his hands gingerly, not wanting to let it go. “Jo said to tell you hi.”

Grace asked him to relay the same greeting from her the next time they spoke. “Wow. So this is how a man looks when he finds his true love.”

He blushed. “I guess so.” He dipped his head slightly and his facial features softened. “You and I weren’t meant to be. But I know you’re king is out there somewhere, waiting with open arms for you accept his love.”

Grace cocked a brow.
“Really?”

“You
betcha
.”

*

Tanner slowed his car, but didn’t stop as he approached Grace’s house. Hot air filled his lungs when he viewed her on the porch in a pair of gray pants that accentuated her bottom half in a most appealing fashion. She was engrossed in a conversation with a dorky-looking dude. They appeared to be very familiar with one another. He almost exploded in his car when she touched the man lightly on the arm.

He rubbed his chin in agitation. Funny, Ava hadn’t informed him Grace had met someone new online. After he popped up at the restaurant, Grace probably decided not to tell Ava about her little rendezvous. Should he interrupt their comfy conversation? Did he dare snatch Grace off her own front porch and declare war on the grinning fool beside her?

Let her come to you
.
Lorilee’s
words echoed in his ears. He tried to tune out her advice. But words crashed against his ears like ocean waves. They shook his foundation. Had the time come for him to take heed of his sister’s suggestion? Did she know best at this point? Besides, hadn’t he chased Grace enough? If the woman didn’t know how much he loved and needed her by now, then she’d never have a clue. Of course, he was willing to go to hell and back for Grace. He just wanted to make sure his efforts weren’t in vain.

It really irked him to realize he wasn’t in control anymore. If their relationship was to come to fruition, Grace would have to make the next move. He didn’t want to consider the possibility that her next move might be to get on with her life.

“
Ba-ba-ba
,” Ariel said, sitting in her car seat. She waved her stuffed animal over her head and chortled.

Tanner chuckled. Ariel didn’t require much to make her smile. The child found her own form of entertainment. She was oblivious to his black mood, which was a good thing. His problems shouldn’t disrupt her happiness. However, he was really looking forward to having Grace meet her. There was no doubt in his mind they would be friends. They had a lot in common. Both were easy on the eyes and easy to love.

He stepped on the gas, swallowing his pride as he eased down the road. Through the rear view mirror, he saw Grace exchange a hug with the man. Their embrace lasted a second longer than he deemed necessary. A fist tightened around his chest. Driving away made him feel like a quitter.
A loser.
What else could he do? Grace hadn’t been impressed with the previous stunt he pulled by showing up uninvited at the restaurant. Face
it,
he had crossed the line one too many times. He couldn’t afford to press his luck.

“I guess it’s just you and me, kiddo,” he said to Ariel, turning the corner.

Her little fist shot into the air. She wiggled in her seat with a joy he didn’t understand, but certainly appreciated.

At least someone wanted him around.

*

Grace plucked the ruffles cascading down the front of her sleeveless shirt with shaky fingers. Trepidation stampeded through her like wild horses. Was her brain clicking on all cylinders, or had it malfunctioned on the drive from her house to Tanner’s, where she stood on the porch, chewing her bottom lip?

Two hours after Kevin had gone she pulled a batch of chocolate chip cookies from the oven. While they cooled, she freshened up and changed into a pink shorts set and ran a flat iron over her hair. She wanted to project flirty femininity, showcasing her sturdy limbs in shorts that stopped mid-thigh. Bubble-gum colored nail polish made her toes pop. Fun and free, she intended let her guard down and enjoy Tanner’s and Ariel’s company.

Kevin had inspired a bold streak to develop inside her. All his talk about kings and queens and soul mates had gotten her considering endless possibilities of heavenly bliss with Tanner. Pretty pictures had been drafted in her mind that she couldn’t erase. They grew bigger and bolder and broader with each passing minute, consuming her thoughts. She knew she was in deep trouble when she embraced the visions twittering in her head. Somehow, trouble seemed like a good idea and worth her time.

She kicked her fears to the curb, hell-bent on taking life by the horns. Too much time had passed and she refused to wait another second. Besides, she couldn’t come up with even one good reason not to take a chance on the most handsome man she’d ever set eyes on.

Ringing the doorbell, Grace braced herself. Unlike previous times, she hadn’t rehearsed a speech. The new woman she had become favored impromptu speeches, which hinted at being more genuine in nature. Windmills of excitement rotated in her stomach as she lifted her finger to ring the doorbell. After the deed was done, she squeezed her eyes shut and waited with baited breath for the man who had altered the course of her life with his magic to open the door. Time seemed to move at a snail’s pace. Inklings of doubt began to suffocate her positive thoughts again. Before any real damage could be done, she heard the door knob twist and hinges squeak. She opened her eyes.

Tanner stood in the doorway, holding Ariel. “Grace.”

“Hi-
eey
!” the friendly child squealed.

Warmth filled her heart. “Hey, pretty girl,” she said.

Tanner’s gaze locked with hers. The earth seemed to tilt. She suddenly felt unsteady on her feet. He looked like a box of chocolates.
Scrumptious.
Irresistible.
She cleared her throat. “Hello, Tanner. May I come in?”

Instead of answering, he smiled and moved aside.

She stepped inside. Taking a look around, she noticed slight changes. Plastic toys and a tiny rocking horse now sat in the middle of the floor. Baby bottles covered the coffee table, as well as Disney movies. It was evident Tanner had spent plenty of time showering Ariel with attention.

“Sorry about the mess,” he said.

“No,” Grace protested, “This looks…wonderful.”

Actually, it was perfect.
Touching.
What she witnessed in his home was a man who cared deeply for an innocent child, who’d been abandoned by her mother. Ribbons of admiration coiled around her heart. At that moment, Tanner looked good to her. Damn good.