Nursing The Doctor (21 page)

When she was gone, Greg waggled a finger at Lily.

“Come over here, pretty lady.”

The moment she was close enough, he looped a hand around her wrist and tugged her down so he could kiss her.

She smelled of the outdoors, of rain and wind and freedom. She tasted of chocolate.

His body reacted urgently, and he released her and grinned up at her flushed face.

“You’ve been eating chocolate. Did you save me some?”

“Of course.” She smiled and dug in her coat pocket, producing a half-eaten bar.

He bit into it, savoring the rich taste and the intimacy.

She took off her jacket and produced a pack of cards.

“So you want to get beaten at poker, do you, Brulotte?”

“Shall we save the gloating until we see who wins? I’ll order the pizza and you just deal the cards, woman.”

She grinned and dragged over a small table, and when he was finished on the telephone they began to play. As she arranged her hand, she said, “I see you’ve made peace with your mother. That’s great, Greg.”

“I suppose the entire hospital figures I’m some kind of dragon who can’t get along with my family.” He discarded three of his cards and chose three more. “I don’t know why they don’t just publish a scandal sheet in here. Everyone knows every detail of my life anyway, so they might as well print it.” He glanced at his new cards. They weren’t any better than the others had been.

“Hospitals are like small towns. We all heard about that incident up on ortho when you called security. You’ve got to admit it was pretty dramatic to have your entire family escorted out of the hospital.”

It irked him to be the subject of gossip, and yet he’d worked at St. Joe’s long enough to know that it went with the territory.

“Well, maybe I’m finally growing up a little,” he admitted with a trace of reluctance. “I’m starting to think that maybe life’s too short to hold a grudge. And also, kids don’t know all the facts. There were things about my mother I didn’t understand. Kids don’t always see the whole picture.”

“Sometimes they do.” She was studying her cards. He couldn’t tell from her face what kind of hand she had, but there was a definite edge to her voice.

“Whaddaya mean, Lil?” He looked over at her, but her expression was impassive.

She shrugged. “Oh, I guess I was thinking of my father. He always used to tell us he had to work whenever there was something we wanted him to do with us. He was never available, and I was pretty young when I figured out that he spent his spare time with women. I suspect he played around even before my mom died.” She extracted a card from her hand and smacked it down on the table, yanking another from the deck.

The offhand words and the ferocity of her actions told him more about her than anything else had. He was very careful to maintain a casual tone. “So, I guess you grew up thinking that’s what all men were like, huh? Womanizers, not to be trusted?”

“Yup, Dr. Freud.” She smiled at him, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes and the playful tone was forced. “And I’ll bet you’re assuming that’s the reason I’m a spinster at the ripe old age of thirty-two.”

“Thirty-two.” He clasped his cards against his heart, mimicking shock. “My God, I had no idea you were that old! Why, this puts a whole new face on things. I’ve never dated an elderly spinster before.”

The nonsense did just what he’d hoped it would. She visibly relaxed, laughing and aiming a gentle smack at his good shoulder. “You have so, dozens of them. Any unmarried female past the common age for marrying is technically a spinster, and the common age is about eighteen, so that makes for a lot of elderly spinsters. I looked it up once in the dictionary.”

“You’re right, then. I have dated a large number of spinsters.” He laid his cards down in a row with a flourish. “Four of a kind. So, do you figure I’m like your father, Lil?”

“Straight. I win.” Color rose in her face, but she looked directly at him, and her answer was disconcertingly honest. “In some ways, yes, you’re like him. You’re big, good-looking, charming when you want to be. In those ways, you and he are alike. As far as being reliable goes, I don’t really know, do I?”

Her honesty stung, but he wanted her to go on.

“I trust you absolutely in the ER, but you’ve just admitted that you go through women like disposable gloves.” She frowned at him. “I don’t have much evidence that you’re trustworthy in a relationship sense.”

His heart sank. Well, he’d asked for it. And if he wanted this thing with Lily to progress, he’d better do his inspired best to convince her that this time was different, that he was different.

Unlucky at cards, lucky at love, he reminded himself.

If only it were true.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

“Remember what I said a while ago, that as a child I’d misunderstood things about my mother, Lil? Well, I’ve been wrong in other areas of my life, as well.”

Greg took a deep breath, suspecting that what he was about to say would be one of the most important declarations he’d ever made. He shuffled the cards and dealt them each five.

“As you say, I’ve dated a lot of women. I always told myself I was being honest, but there were times when they heard what I was saying differently from the way I meant it. And I wasn’t always kind or gentle in setting them straight. That’s the part I was wrong about and I’m not proud of it. But in one area, I was totally honest. I told them I loved making love, because I do. I said I cared for them, because I did. I said I liked them, because it was true. But I never told any of them that I loved them.”

He had a bleak hand. He realized his fingers were trembling, and he laid his cards down, face up. “None of them ever touched my heart and soul the way you do, Lily.”

She was absolutely still. Her green eyes watched her cards, and he couldn’t gauge from her expression what effect his words were having.

His throat was dry, his voice husky. “There was always a strong attraction between us, you can’t deny that.”

Her head dipped in agreement, and a tiny part of him exulted. But the next part was the hardest.

“And what I feel for you is different from anything I’ve ever felt before. I figure I’m in love with you, Lily.”

Her eyes widened, and his heart hammered against his chest wall as if it were trying to break free. The words were the most difficult he’d ever spoken, because they were true, because they left him completely defenseless.

“I think it happened a long time ago, down in the ER, but I wasn’t nearly ready to acknowledge it then. I was scared.”

As if he wasn’t now. He tried for a grin, but it didn’t come off. “And I was far too stupid at that stage to do much soul-searching. I only knew that I wanted to take you out in the worst way. I wanted to be with you, get to really now you, and you kept saying no, and I couldn’t figure out why I cared so damned much. Then when you came to the ward that day and told me about the transfusion, all I could think of was that if only one of us got sick, I hoped it’d be me.”

She looked at him then, and he thought he’d never seen anyone look so vulnerable.

“See, Lily, you make me understand what all that knight-in-shining-armor stuff is really about.” He smiled, but he’d never been more serious in his life. “I want to do battle with a dragon for you. I want to watch you grow more
beautiful with every passing year. I want to protect you in every way I can. And if those things aren’t possible, then at least I want to make you laugh.”

He had to clear his throat, because his voice was shaking. “I’d like us to grow old together, but there’s no guarantee on that for anyone. One thing about nearly losing your life, it sure as hell makes you think about how you want to deal with what’s left of it.”

He paused and waited for what seemed forever and still she was silent. The knot in his gut felt immense.

“Talk to me here, Lil, please,” he pleaded. “I need to know what you’re thinking, how you feel. I know we haven’t had a chance to do the things two people usually do when they have feelings for each other, but I’ll make that up to you. I know I’m gonna recover completely from this accident. And as for the Hep C, we can only wait and pray.”

He drew in a breath and expelled it. He hoped he didn’t sound as uncertain as he was feeling. “If you could give me maybe one tiny bit of encouragement here, Sullivan?”

She’d been holding her breath, and she let it out in an audible whoosh. “You must have already guessed that I care about you, Greg,” she said in a shaky voice. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be here, winning at poker.” She tried for a smile and didn’t quite manage it. “But you also need to know that I’m not very good at relationships.”

“Maybe you just haven’t practiced enough. How often have you tried?” He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know, but he had to ask.

“Twice. First when I was in nursing school. He was a law student, and we didn’t agree on almost anything, which was exciting at the time, but I guess it was best we ended it. And then, afterward, in Calgary.”

“Richard.” Richard Polifka. Ben had found out his full name. The force of Greg’s jealousy took him by surprise.

“Yes. I thought I loved him. But he wanted me to marry him, and I realized I couldn’t do that.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t really say I’m sorry about that.” Greg’s tone was acerbic, and he deliberately ignored any message she might be giving him.

She shook her head and frowned. “I didn’t intend for you to be sorry. I’m trying to tell you straight up that maybe I’m not the best choice for you to love.”

“It’s not a matter of choice, for God’s sake.” His voice rose and he could feel his temper slipping. He was so afraid she was going to give up on this before he had a chance to show her what loving between them could be like.

“Love seems to be something that either happens or it doesn’t,” he growled. In utter frustration, he wheeled his chair close to her and grabbed her hand, linking their fingers. “You say you care about me. Okay, that’s good. But what I want to know, Lily, what I have to know, is whether or not you figure you could ever love me. There’s a difference, damn it.”

There was a silence that took years off his life, and then at last she said simply, “I already do. Love you.”

The most enormous sense of relief overcame him. It felt like a huge drum roll signaling the end of one part of his life and the beginning of another.

“But...” she began, and quickly he placed his palm over her mouth.

“No buts,” he said forcefully. “For now, for right now, we have all we need. From here on in, we’ll take it one day at a time. One hour at a time if necessary.”

This time she was the one who leaned over and kissed him, full on the mouth, with passion and such naked desire and enthusiasm it took his breath away.

When the kiss ended, she looked into his eyes for a time and then grinned, a wide and mischievous grin. “So, hotshot, are we gonna play poker or not?”

“Ohh, yeah. We’re gonna play,” he crooned, and a wonderful, wicked thought occurred to him.

“Highball.” If it worked for Krupps, surely it would work for him. “Winner gets a special request, anything their heart desires that the loser can provide.”

She gave him a long, curious look before she said, “You’re on. And you’re gonna lose, Brulotte, so prepare yourself.”

“Overconfidence in a lovely woman is so touching. I’ll feel terrible when I win. Deal the cards, Sullivan.”

With a smooth and practiced flick of her wrist, she dealt.

A short time later, Lily hesitantly followed Greg into the darkened room he’d unlocked with a key he’d produced from the pocket of his sweats.

She’d lost three out of five poker hands, and she wondered if Greg suspected she’d done it deliberately. She knew exactly what he had in mind when he’d stated the forfeit of the game, and she’d never wanted anything in her life as much as she wanted to lose the wager.

It had been touch and go for a while. She’d had to discard what would have been a royal flush, the first she’d ever had in a card game. The sacrifice was enormous, but there was no question in her mind that it was worth it.

The look on his face when he triumphantly laid down his fifth hand sent a thrill shooting from the top of her head to her toes, which were curled up in fear that her less-than-spectacular hand would still beat his.