Nursing The Doctor (25 page)

The last of Lily’s resentment melted into compassion.

“My lunch break’s coming up. You guys want to join me?”

Frannie hesitated and then nodded, and without another word the three of them made their way to the cafeteria. Lily loaded a tray without much thought as to what she was choosing, and in silent agreement they sat at an isolated table in the comer.

Taylor had several spoonfuls of soup and then leaned over, put his head in Frannie’s lap and fell asleep. She looked down at him, tenderly tracing the silver tear tracks on his rounded cheeks, the matted hair surrounding the sutures on his forehead.

“It’s not much of a life for him,” she said in a sad tone. She looked up at Lily, and her face and eyes were haunted. “For me, either. That’s why I’d never ask anyone to get involved in this, Lily. Heather’s illness is unpredictable. It won’t ever go away, and I’m all that either she or Taylor has for family. I decided long ago that I wouldn’t ever get married or have children in case they inherited the gene for either my mother’s alcoholism or Heather’s bipolar disorder.”

Slow, anguished tears began to roll down her cheeks, and she didn’t even bother to wipe them away. “I never meant to let it go this far with Ka...” She gulped and swallowed. “With Kaleb. It’s not fair to him. I should have...have told him how things are with me.”

“You’re in love with him.” It was painfully obvious.

Frannie nodded, and a harsh sob caught in her throat “He...he’s everything I wouldn’t let myself dream of.” Her voice hardened. “But this family of mine isn’t anyone’s dream. It’s a nightmare.”

“Every family has problems, Frannie. We’ve got Gram.”

But they both knew that Alzheimer’s wasn’t the same as mental illness. Lily thought of the other disease that could be lying dormant in her own blood, waiting for some future moment to strike her down. She understood all too well how Frannie felt about having children. Hep C could be transmitted from mother to fetus, even though the current information said that such transmission was rare.

Lily, too, could be forced to make the choice not to have children. And then, like a truck hitting her broadside, it dawned on her that, Hep C or not, she was visualizing a future with Greg, a future that included marriage and a family. On some level, she’d made the decision to trust.

For the first time in her life she was willing to take the chance. She wanted a husband, she wanted babies of her own. But not just any husband. She wanted Greg. She wanted Greg’s babies. But there were so many problems to overcome. Perhaps too many. Was she a fool even to dream about such a future?

With difficulty, she forced herself to focus on Frannie. The choices weren’t easy for either of them.

“Maybe you oughta give Kaleb a chance to decide for himself,” Lily began to say, and at that moment she looked up and saw her brother winding his way between the tables, heading toward them.

Frannie, too, had seen him, and she was utterly still. She seemed to be holding her breath.

Kaleb’s jaw was set, and it was plain that the only one in the entire room he was aware of was Frannie.

Lily recognized the look on his face. He looked like a warrior going into battle. She’d seen that expression untold times on Greg’s face when they were about to tackle a particularly difficult case in the ER and he was determined not to lose.

Her brother wasn’t about to let Frannie cut him out of her life.

Lily got to her feet just as Kaleb arrived at the table.

“You and I have some things to talk about, Frannie,” he said in a determined tone.

“I think I’ll leave you two alone.” Lily realized that neither of them was even conscious of her leaving, and when she glanced back at them from the cafeteria door, her brother had gathered Taylor up, balancing the sleeping child against his shoulder. With the other arm, he’d drawn Frannie close, and he was talking steadily, his lips close to her ear. She was shaking her head, but Lily had no doubt that Kaleb would triumph.

When Lily got back to the ER, she paused a moment to glance at the white board that documented patient flow so she’d be aware of who was waiting and who’d been admitted while she was on her break. Her eyes rested on one name, and a chill went up her spine.

Nefstead, Victor. He must have been admitted while she was busy with Heather. Lily hurried over to the triage nurse and asked where he was.

“He’s been sent up to the OR for gall bladder surgery,” the nurse said.

Lily had to talk to him. Nefstead had had a profound effect on her life, and on Greg’s. She still had ten minutes left on her break.

She raced for the elevator.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Lily finally gave up on the elevator and took the stairs, arriving out of breath on the surgical floor.

She went to the desk and gasped out Nefstead’s name, and a nurse explained that he was already propped for surgery.

“I just wanted a word with him.” It seemed crazy now, that urge to talk to the man. What had she been going to say?

“He’s probably too groggy to do much talking,” the nurse said, giving Lily a curious look. “You’re from Emerg? Is there a problem?”

“No. That is, I don’t think so.” She hesitated, and then added, “Could I have a look at his chart?”

The nurse walked away and came back several moments later with a chart and handed it to Lily. She flipped it open.

“First Hep C positive,” read the doctor’s scrawl. Lily’s eyes flicked over the other notations, and then went back to the beginning again. She read it three times before its meaning finally, fully penetrated her numbed brain.

Second two assays negative. Query gall bladder disease, preliminary diagnosis occlusion...

“Are you sure nothing’s the matter?” The nurse was still standing beside her. “We’re taking him in now.”

“Nothing’s wrong, absolutely nothing,” Lily said in a voice that didn’t sound like hers at all. She was shaking. She wanted to laugh and cry and shout the news to the world.

Nefstead didn’t have Hep C! He’d never had it. He had gall bladder disease, and the symptoms of the two conditions were alike. That first test was wrong.

She’d read about the high incidence of false positives in diagnosing Hep C, but she hadn’t dared to even hope Nefstead would be one of them.

Greg. She had to tell him the news, but she was already well over her allotted break. She’d call him the first moment she had free.

But for the next few hours, the ER was so busy Lily had no time to go to the bathroom, much less make a phone call. In rapid succession, they had two young men with gunshot wounds and a thirty-three-year-old woman who’d attempted suicide by pouring gasoline on herself and lighting a match.

The gunshot wounds were treated, the men stabilized and then shipped up to the OR, but although the staff fought valiantly for her life, the young woman died in spite of their best efforts.

It was almost six by the time Lily was finally able to strip off her protective clothing and make a quick cup of tea in the staff lounge. Losing a patient was always traumatic, and this death was particularly horrible. The woman had been only a year older than she was herself, Lily mused sadly as she sipped the hot liquid and tried to muster enough energy to call Greg.

A glance at her watch confirmed that her shift was almost over. She still had to give a report to the oncoming nurse and count narcotics before she could leave, so she decided to wait and give him the news about the Hep C in person. It would give her something to look forward to. Now that she had time to think about it, she was more apprehensive than ever about the surprise party Ben had arranged.

Several frantic hours later, Lily hurried up the wide cedar steps in front of Greg’s house. Even though she’d heard people at the hospital mention how elegant it was, she was impressed and a little awed by the setting and the architecture of the oceanfront home.

Lily couldn’t help contrasting it with Gram’s old frame house with the mossy roof that needed replacing and the overgrown yard she and Kaleb struggled to maintain.

It was a cold, clear night. Cars lined the circular drive, and lights blazed from the wide front windows. A tall fir tree in the garden was decorated with twinkling silver Christmas lights, and there was a luxurious wreath on the front door.

Ben had said he’d only asked a few close friends, but when Lily glanced in, the spacious living room seemed filled with people, laughing and talking and holding wineglasses. She was late, very late.

She paused at the window, suddenly shy and uncertain that the simple knit dress she’d chosen to wear was suitable. She recognized only a few of the people inside.

She saw Greg propped against a mass of colorful pillows on a sofa near a blazing fireplace. He was wearing one of his tracksuits, and he looked flushed and happy and unbearably handsome, laughing and talking to several men and women grouped around him. Love and pride filled her heart to overflowing, and she watched him, grateful for this rare moment when she could admire him, without being seen.

A pretty redhead in a short black dress that fit like a second skin had just lowered herself to the sofa beside him, all legs and swelling breasts and white skin. She snuggled close to Greg’s left side, and as Lily watched, hypnotized, the woman whispered something in his ear and then turned and snaked her arms around his neck and kissed him, a passionate kiss full on his lips, both hands buried in the hair at the back of his head.

The gesture was intimate and easy. Lily knew instantly that they’d been lovers. Greg reached up and unhooked her arms, saying something to the others that brought laughter and spontaneous applause.

Lily felt frozen, as if the cold December air had somehow entered her veins and turned her blood to ice. She wasn’t experiencing anything as simple as jealousy. Her reaction was much deeper, more complex. It was a recognition that the time she and Greg had spent together had really only been a minute part of his life, a tiny, isolated space within a much larger reality... this reality.

He’d soon be out of the casts, healthy and fit. It was obvious his carefree life was waiting, like a familiar suit of clothes, for him to slip back into.

Lily thought of Hannah, of the grim realities of her own life. Gram had left a tap running in the bathroom today, and Mrs. Hosko had still been mopping up water when Lily arrived home. Zoe had a cold, and she’d needed a bath and a story before she’d settle. The contrast between her everyday life and this scene was incongruous.

She’d been deluding herself. These people were his friends, but Lily had no desire to meet them. She didn’t want to be part of this crowd, any more than Greg would want to be part of her family.

She stepped back from the doorway. There was a wide railing around the front entrance. In the hospital gift shop, she’d bought Greg a funny Christmas card, and she pulled it and a pen out of her handbag now and scribbled a note, telling him there was no longer any danger of Hep C, wishing him the best, setting him free.

Fate seemed to cooperate; a couple she recognized from the hospital came hurrying up the walk, and she tucked the card in the envelope, scrawled Greg’s name on it and asked them to give it to him.

And then, cold to the very bone, she went home.

Greg knew his friend had the very best of intentions, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to deck Ben for ruining the evening this way.

He knew, too, that he’d slipped up himself by not telling Ben earlier in the day that he wanted him to clear out that night so he could be alone with Lily.

But coming home had totally exhausted him, and Greg had fallen asleep. Ben had been delayed at the hospital, and when they finally had a conversation, it was too late. The guests were already arriving, with cards and flowers and bottles of wine, loud congratulations and wishes for his good health, and Greg felt he had no choice except to pretend he was his old self again.

The truth was, he was finding these first hours at home extremely difficult. He was still weak, and he wasn’t as adept with the crutches as he wanted to be. It was an enormous effort to be polite to all the people Ben had invited.

Or not invited. Ben insisted he hadn’t asked Susie, she’d simply appeared at the door. Greg unhooked her tentacles from his neck for what seemed the tenth time, made a joke about it and reached for his crutches. Fortunately Ben noticed and came to help.