Oathbreaker (23 page)

“
Remind me not to aggravate you,” Tristan's eyes were huge.

“
I think you kind of just proved my point,” now Jackson looked concerned. “Are you okay? I mean besides all this horrid stuff that keeps happening, are
you
okay?”

“
Yeah, I think so,” I sighed. “I just had some interesting news on top of all this other stuff. It's kind of got me on edge.”

“
Interesting good,” Sommer narrowed her gaze on me, “or Chinese proverb interesting?”

“
Not sure yet,” I frowned. “Maybe a little of both.”

“
Ah,” Jackson smirked, “I don't believe that's considered a proverb but a curse. Generally one would only say
May you live in interesting times
to an enemy.”

“
Maybe some one cursed me then,” I laughed mirthlessly, “in another life.”

“
Alright, enough of this cryptic shit,” Tryst grimaced, “spill.”

“
Okay,” I laughed. I was kind of anticipating their reactions to this new drama. “So I just discovered that I was Odin's wife in a past life, bore him a son, Vidar, and helped him raise another, Vali.”

“
What the hell did you just say?” Sommer had been standing but she sat down quickly on the bench opposite mine.

“
Wait, isn't Odin, Thor's father?” Jackson was working it out rather quickly. I was impressed.

“
Yep,” I nodded.

“
You slept with your step-son?” Jax had a strange look, mostly horrified but a little intrigued.

“
In another life,” Sommer huffed at him. “Did no one else catch the
other life
reference?”

“
I already believed in reincarnation,” Tristan shrugged.

“
I had an inkling,” Jax chimed in, “but this is just too delicious. Gods have the best gossip, thank you so much for finally including us.”

“
You're thankful not because of this new world of magic I've shown you,” I shook my head, “but because of the gossip it's filled with?”

“
The magic is cool too,” Jax winked at me. “Especially the magical men.”

“
Which Vervain has already had a head start on enjoying,” Sommer grinned.

“
Evidently,” Jackson looked me over. “How was ol' one eye? You know,
sexually
.”

“
Yes, I know what you meant,” I rolled my eyes. “And I have no idea. I've been getting an occasional memory but nothing longer than a quick flash.”

“
A quick flash?” Tristan laughed. “I would have thought a god would have more stamina.”

“
The memory not the sex,” I laughed with them. “Actually, from the part I saw, I wouldn't mind remembering a little more.”

“
Vervain,” Sommer sobered the conversation. “Are you in love with Odin?”

“
I definitely feel...” I huffed and shook my head, “yeah, I love him.”

“
Uh oh,” Tryst said eloquently.

“
What are you going to do?” Sommer asked.

“
Well that's the big question, isn't it?” I rubbed at my forehead. “I love Trevor and no matter what happened in a previous life, I'm not giving him up.”

“
But?” Jackson prompted.

“
But I don't want to give up on a man who mourned me for hundreds of years, living only with the hope that I'd one day return to him.”

“
Hundreds of years?” Tristan blinked at me like an owl.

“
Very romantic,” Jackson said softly, “in a tragic way as all the best romance is.”

“
No, Mr. Poet,” I shook a finger at him. “Tragedy does not equal romance to me. I'd be much happier with a tragic-less romance. I wish my life were more simple.”

“
No you don't,” Jax focused his intense stare on me. “More simple would mean no palace, no hot lion-men, no werewolf lovin', and no gorgeous one-eyed ex-husbands.”

“
Is he considered an ex?” Tristan interrupted before I could respond. “You never divorced him.”

“
Holy shit,” I breathed, my heart leaping for a second before I jerked it to a rational halt. “That was another life, Tryst. He's definitely considered an ex.”

“
Hmmm,” Tristan seemed to consider it. “But the real question is: do we have to buy you a card on Mother's Day now?”

Chapter Twenty-Four

“We have to talk about Odin, Vidar, and Vali.”

Trevor groaned, sighed, and walked down the hallway to the bedroom.

“Trevor,” I followed after him and was rewarded with another groan. “We have to talk about this, they’re coming over tomorrow.”

“
Can’t we talk
after
we make love?” He sounded so whiny, I couldn't help laughing.

“
Talk first, then the lovemaking,” I jumped into bed and he climbed in after.

“
You’re a cruel, cruel woman, Godhunter,” he leaned back against the bed's wall and sighed.

“
You’re supposed to be helping me here,” I nudged him. “I don’t know what to do.”

“
Tell Odin to take a hike and just visit Vidar and Vali,” he spread his hands like it was so obvious. “Now can we have sex?”

“
Oh, now it’s sex, not making love,” I raised a brow. “How much longer do I have to talk to get you to us the F word?”

“
I’d say my patience will wear thin in about two minutes,” he looked at me very seriously. “Then the making love will have gone from sex to fucking.”

“
I think I’d rather fuck,” I whispered in his ear, “then have sex, and then make love.” I felt his whole body shiver in waves of pleasure before he sighed.

“
You’re very lucky, I have such great control,” he pulled me into his arms. “Or there would’ve been none of any of that for a few minutes.”

“
Men are so easy,” I let my voice get husky. “We still need to talk.”

“
Arghhh,” he threw up his hands. “I just told you how to handle it.”

“
I can’t tell Odin to take a hike,” I poked him in the stomach. “He’s not making any demands of me and he agreed to join our side, even though it lost him friends.”

“
Friends who he was already losing anyway because of his traitorous brat,” Trevor growled.

“
Why is it that you sound pleased by that?” I narrowed my eyes and pulled back, so I could sit up and stare him down.

“
I’m not pleased,” he knocked his head back into the bed, thump, thump, thump. “I’m jealous.”

“
Jealous?” Oh shit, I was bad at handling jealousy, “Who of, Odin, Vali, or Vidar?”

“
All three,” he waved helplessly. “I’m jealous of what you had with Odin, a whole lifetime of loving under your belt and a child as well. Vidar is a living, breathing tie to Odin, and Vali is a living, breathing testament to how much you loved Odin. So much that you became a mother to his son by another woman.”

I frowned and remembered something my mother used to say to me. Have a child with a man and you’ll never get him out of your life. I guess that could be bad or good depending on the man. I don’t think she had reincarnation in mind, when she said it though.

“Sabine loved Odin,” I rubbed his thigh idly. “
She
had a child with him centuries ago. Vervain however, is in love with you… right now.”

“
You
are
Sabine,” his eyes had gone from wolf to puppy.

“
No I’m not,” I brought in my legs to sit cross legged, just as Nick decided to make an entrance and claim my lap. I pet him as I struggled to explain. “She’s a piece of me, like a memory or a bit of knowledge, but she’s not all of me. If this truly is reincarnation, and I’m not sure it is, then I’ve probably lived lots of lives since and before Sabine. I’ve probably born several children and loved lots of men.”

“
That makes me feel so much better,” he grimaced at me but at least it was an improvement from those puppy eyes.

“
It should,” I swatted him. “Do you really believe that all those other lives have any bearing on this one? Should you be jealous of all those men, those children? Am I a big slut because I’ve loved different men in multiple lives?”

“
No,” he frowned as he tried to work it out.

“
Right,” I smiled. “Because they’re not Vervain. Sabine is
not
Vervain. Only I am Vervain and only the man I love in
this
life will have me.” It was a great speech, if only I could convince myself.

“
It sounds good,” he took my hand and stared down at it as he swirled his thumb over my palm. “You’ve said similar things before but I’m not sure it’s going to work out that way. You don't have memories of those other past lives or have people from them in your present life. This could really hurt us, Minn Elska. I don't want to become just another memory to you.”

“
You will never be just another memory,” I squeezed his hand.

Some little part of me shifted and trembled at his words, almost as if they were prophecy. I didn’t want them to be prophetic. I wanted to stay there with Trevor, happy and content with his love. I didn’t want to deal with Odin or decide how to integrate him and our children into my life.

Then something whispered inside me that I did want to deal with them, I wanted a lot more than that in fact. I remembered Odin holding Vidar’s tiny toddler hands as he led him toward Mommy. I remembered the first time Vali smiled at me. Most importantly, I remembered what being a part of their family had felt like and I missed it. I missed them.

I swallowed hard and acknowledged the wanting. Trevor was right, it was unfair to have those memories. Surely if there was reincarnation, the memories weren’t supposed to come along for the ride… and for a good reason. I’d been forced to remember and it was screwing with my new life. The question that was really bugging me though, the question that had been in the back of my mind since this whole thing with Odin started, was
why
I was remembering.

It was hard enough dealing with this life's issues. Seeing Thor and working with him again brought back memories too but Thor was just a part of my past. His loss was something that I had to accept, it was a normal part of life… a single life. He left me and I moved on. I fell in love with Trevor.

There was no going back to Thor, plain and simple, and frankly, I don't think I'd go back to him if I could. People didn't always live up to our expectations, sometimes they did things that forced us to make hard decisions. Like whether or not to keep them in our lives. I had no illusions about that and I was happy with the decisions I'd made. I could live with my memories of Thor, knowing I was making memories with Trevor that would ease their ache, and eventually I'd be able to look back on them fondly.

My memories of Odin however, were harder to deal with. There was no break-up with Odin. No horrible betrayal or reason to leave him. If I hadn't died, I would still be with Odin. There was the rub. Those memories were bittersweet not because he'd hurt me but because he hadn't. The memories I was starting to get were of a truly happy life and I had a feeling this was only the beginning. Once the damn broke, I was going to be overwhelmed with longer, more detailed recollections. Of things I could never have again.

Then there was the fact that I truly did love Trevor. So how could another man have a hold on me? How could a remembered love affect the one I had now? I guess one love doesn’t cancel out another. Love is not finite, you give and give of it and still you have more. It was why the magic I’d taken from Aphrodite was so strong. Love had no limits… either that or I was a big slut.

Regardless, it all came back to the why. I didn't know a whole lot about reincarnation but I was pretty sure that the people who remembered their past lives, went looking for them. They meditated or had themselves hypnotized. I believe some even employed psychics to just flat out tell them who they were in a past life. I don't recall ever hearing of someone just spontaneously remembering their other lives though.

Maybe it had something to do with running into people from my other life. I've heard stories about lovers reuniting, meeting again in new lives and recognizing each other. They'd feel a pull toward the other person or just feel comfortable with them. Maybe my situation was similar but since Odin was actually still living the same life, my memories were triggered by seeing the exact same man and not just meeting his soul again. Could be, but I had the strangest feeling in my chest that there was something more to this.