Obediently Yours (27 page)

10:45:
Sitting on a sore bottom at my desk to write lines and complete a writing assignment. One hundred lines of “I will learn to love myself. I will learn to love my body.” Writing assignment: “List fifty positive things about yourself.” Crap! That was a hard one. I found myself repeating things. When Daddy read it, he crossed out the repeats and made me rewrite the list until I had fifty positive things, none repeated.

12:00:
Lunch time followed by nap time. Interestingly enough, I did not feel ticked off about nap time, which I normally would. I was emotionally exhausted from this morning’s activities so a nap was welcome. I drifted off soon after my head hit the pillow.

1:30:
Back at my desk, writing out Rule #10, “I will not make negative, berating, or disparaging remarks about myself.” Written 100 times in my training journal. My hand was so cramped up after this assignment, I never wanted to hold a pen in my hand again. Do not let anyone tell you that writing lines is an easy thing to do. It is not!

2:30:
Back over Daddy’s knee for 100 spanks. With each spank, he recited my rule, “You will not make negative, berating, or disparaging remarks about yourself.” After my spanking, I was put back in the corner and told to repeat my rule as a mantra, over and over again. I did this partly because it helped me to not think about my very hot and stinging bottom, but also because I really want to make Daddy happy. I really want to please him. He is doing all of this for a reason, even if I don’t completely get it.

3:30:
Now this was the most interesting thing yet. Daddy took me into his BDSM playroom. My heart started to beat faster when we entered the room. Maybe my weekend as a slave would happen after all. I was really looking forward to trying something new and submitting to Daddy in new and different ways. This was not to be, however.

On the floor there was a big piece of sheet plastic and a large, long piece of white paper over it.

Daddy ordered me to lie on the paper and proceeded to use a pencil to outline my body on the paper. I remember thinking that this was very weird and could not imagine what he had planned. After he finished outlining me, he told me to get up and kneel beside the paper. “Baby girl, earlier today I asked you to write out fifty positive things about yourself.” He held my training journal in his hand, open to the page with this list. “I want you to interpret this list on your body.” He pointed to the outlined paper on the floor. “I want you to show me these positive things using those finger paints. Do you understand the task?”

I nodded my head affirmatively. I had no idea how to do this though. Finger paint. I hate getting crap on my hands. Daddy knows this. I embraced my inner child and got to work.

On my list, I wrote that I had a generous heart, so I took some red finger paint and drew a heart on myself. I made it big and colored it all in red.

Okay. I sort of got this now. I took the black paint and went over the pencil marks, outlining myself better. I painted a brain inside the outline of my head to interpret “I am smart” from the list. I painted in my hands to interpret “I use my hands to do good in the world.”

After the paint dried on my hands, I painted little globes over them to clarify that. And so my painting continued until I ran out of ideas. In the end, my hands were covered in paint. There were paint smears and splatters all over me too. My breast somehow got some yellow paint on it. My diapers had several colors. I felt juvenile. I felt light. I felt happy.

Daddy came into the room quite a while later and commented that he loved my painting. He gave me a bath and then fed me dinner. By this time, it was almost 8:00 and I was exhausted. Daddy could see it and told me that he was going to put me to bed. Before this however, I got my final spanking. This spanking hurt worse than the others, probably because it was on top of the others today. So as I said, I was in my crib, contrite and well punished for my naughtiness. Even though Daddy told me it was not punishment, it was a discipline session, my sore tushy told me otherwise. It felt like punishment.

The next morning, Daddy came into my nursery and got me up. He told me my speech restriction was over and that he wanted to spend the morning talking about yesterday. So after breakfast, I sat on his lap and tried to articulate my feelings about yesterday. In the end, I get what he tried to do. I have to see myself in a more positive light. I have to embrace who I am and how I look. I have to accept myself for who I am and remember that I am loved for who I am. It was an emotional journey toward acceptance.

* * *

So our lives continue. We stay busy with wedding plans as the date quickly approaches. We live each day and settle into a comfortable routine. Two weeks before the wedding, Daddy asks me to sit down with him on the couch.

“Sweetie, I have been thinking a lot about us, our relationship, and our commitment to one another. Our relationship is one based on mutual respect and trust. It is also one in which you submit to me, you allow me to dominate you. In that domination, I am able to be restrictive and punishing. I am also able to be nurturing and loving. We have a Dominance/submission relationship and it fulfills the both of us. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes, Daddy, absolutely. I’m so happy with you. I love you and I love submitting to your dominance. This life is everything I ever could have imagined for myself,” I respond.

“I agree 100%. This life is wonderful and you are my everything. In your submission to me, you give all of yourself to me in a deep commitment toward our unique lifestyle. Through your submission, I am able to have the control and authority over you, which fulfills my deep need to care for and nurture you. These are also qualities in a Master. You may not call yourself a ‘slave,’ but your deference to my will and your willingness to follow my rules and obey me are qualities in a slave. It just so happens I refer to myself as your Daddy Dom and you refer to yourself as baby girl. The only real difference I see is that you wear a diaper instead of a corset and high heels.” He laughs. “Do you understand what I am saying?”

“Yes, I think I do. Basically you are saying that we already have a Master/slave relationship in our Daddy/baby girl one. Is that right?”

“That is exactly what I am saying. We use different terminology and props, but the intent is the same. Our desires are the same. We do not need to plan a scenario, we already live the scenario. If I ordered you to the playroom right now, secured you to a piece of equipment and flogged you, that would not be any different from ordering you to your nursery and putting you in a diaper after I spanked you. Does that make sense? Do you understand?”

“I think so. What we are and what we do makes me very happy. I love submitting to you and having you dominate me. What we have works for us. Yes, in that way, I guess I am your slave and you are my Master. I just happen to prefer calling you ‘Daddy.’” I smile at the handsome man sitting across from me. He makes me so happy. I love him so much.

“Siobhan,” he continues, “we have a unique lifestyle and I would never want to change it. I do, however, feel a desire to solidify it, if that makes sense. I guess I am asking you to consider entering into a contract with me. A contract that explicitly states that I am your Dominant, your Master and you are my submissive, my slave. That we belong to each other completely.”

“But how would having a contract be any different than things are now? I mean, I have my rules and I agree to obey you. What exactly would a contract do for us?”

“It would, in many ways, reiterate the rules you already have. What it would also do is state explicitly what my role is in caring for you. I see it as another level of commitment, one that surpasses our current situation. It is symbolic in many ways. But it would, in no uncertain terms, declare exactly what you and I are to each other. I just like the idea of having it explicitly documented.”

I look at this man before me. This man who has given me so much, who loves and cherishes me in a way that I have never had before. I would give him anything, be anything for him. I give him the only response I can, “Okay.”

Over the course of a few evenings, we hammered out the language of our contract. It requires a lot of conversation and open communication about both our wants and needs. Not very much was a surprise, but the exercise in putting it on paper in black and white felt exactly right. For us, it is a decree of our commitment to one another, not only as husband and wife, but for all aspects of our relationship. In the end, I was very satisfied and more than happy to sign it. In many ways, signing the contract felt like a private wedding ceremony.

CONTRACT

This document is to set forth the intentions, declarations, and responsibilities of Siobhan Fitzpatrick and Richard Connolly.

ROLES

Siobhan accepts her role as Richard’s wife, best friend, lover, baby girl and submissive (herein referred to as baby girl).

Richard accepts his role as Siobhan’s husband, best friend, lover, Daddy Dom and Master (herein referred to as Daddy Dom).

DURATION

Both parties agree that this contract is entered into freely and with the full intention of continuing indefinitely. The conditions of this contract can be amended at any time by mutual agreement between both parties.

MUTUALLY AGREED UPON RESTRICTIONS

It is agreed upon by both parties that, upon the signing of this contract, Daddy Dom shall immediately undertake the responsibility of protecting baby girl’s body and mind from harm. It is understood that baby girl shall, upon the signing of this contract, immediately submit her body and mind to Daddy Dom and that she shall obey and submit to his complete authority over her.

It has been agreed upon by both parties that punishment, discipline, and/or training shall not involve any permanent physical or psychological harm.

It is agreed upon by both parties that baby girl will have a safeword/signal and that it shall be honored without hesitation, followed by a discussion as to the reason for its use, understanding that it cannot be used for no reason and a specific reason must be provided when it is used.

It is agreed upon by both parties that no part of this contract is intended to interfere with baby girl’s career. Daddy Dom agrees that baby girl may conduct herself as needed at work, without his express permission, to schedule appointments, dress in a manner appropriate to work, leave the house when necessary for work, and use the telephone for work if necessary.

It is agreed upon by both parties to conduct themselves publicly in a manner that will not call attention to any aspect of their relationship except as husband and wife. Both shall refer to each other’s proper name when in public. It is agreed that all physical evidence of any aspect of their relationship except as husband and wife shall be kept in the strictest secrecy, except where both parties have agreed otherwise.

It is agreed upon by both parties that baby girl shall never under any circumstances be given to another Master, for any reason whatsoever, unless mutually agreed upon prior.

BABY
GIRL
’
S
RESPONSIBILITY
AND
SUBMISSION

I will be Daddy Dom’s lifelong lover, companion, and friend. I will please Daddy Dom to the best of my ability and understand and accept that I am his submissive, to be trained, disciplined, and punished as he sees fit.

I will devote myself, in mind and body, to Daddy Dom’s desires. I will treat Daddy Dom with the utmost respect at all times, obeying him without question, with the full belief that he will never knowingly subject me to anything that will cause me physical or mental harm.

I will grant Daddy Dom the freedom to engage in any and all activities not actively forbidden by this contract, and all rights and privileges not otherwise noted in this contract belong to my Daddy Dom. I will make my body available whenever, wherever, and however Daddy Dom wishes.

I will accept without hesitation any punishment, discipline, or training regimen Daddy Dom deems fit to administer, whether corporal or otherwise, whether earned or not, whether physical or mental or emotional, whenever he feels the need to correct me for his own satisfaction.

I will do my best to help Daddy Dom maintain my mental and physical health, understanding that my current rule is explicit regarding my health and safety. Such requirements include, but not limited to: taking medicine when so ordered, resting when ordered, not overdoing physical activities, informing Daddy Dom of my health, and continued attendance to regular physical examinations and medical tests as Daddy Dom deems appropriate.

I will strive toward maintenance of a positive self-image and to overcome feelings of shame or guilt, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve and limit my role as a baby girl. I will reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without embarrassment or hesitation and work against insecurities that would interfere with Daddy Dom’s judgment whether or how these shall be satisfied.