Obsession (Forbidden #2) (26 page)

Twenty-Four

Neal

We had to get out of New York. Just for a little while. I haven’t been to my place in Vegas for too long, and she’s always wanted to go there, so, we’re here. In Vegas. We’re putting a bit of space between us and everything that’s slowly killing us. We need some time alone. Completely alone. When we’re alone everything is perfect. When we start to let the real world in, crap happens.

I’ve told my lawyer to talk to Barry, to tell him to put his ridiculous shit to one side for now. I’ll deal with him when I get back. All I want to do is concentrate on Kira. On us.

I spit the last of the toothpaste out into the sink and head back into the bedroom, but I stop in the doorway for a few seconds first. I just want to look at her. My beautiful girl. My whole world. She’s going nowhere.

I watch as she moves slightly, and the sheet shifts, falling below her thighs and I feel my cock react so quickly it actually sucks the breath right out of me. I want her, as I do every day. Every hour. Every second, I want her. Does
he
want her like I do? Does it feel the same for him, as it does for me? Does he feel that same, painful desperation that lives within my soul?

I slide back into bed beside her and lean over to kiss her slightly open mouth, drinking in her tiny moan of pleasure as her eyes flicker open. And she smiles, and I feel like a million fireworks have just shot off in a hundred different directions inside of me.

‘Is that all I get?’ she whispers, and I return her smile, pulling her over on to her side so she faces me. ‘You’re slacking, Cannon.’

‘Maybe I need teaching a lesson, huh?’

She laughs quietly, a deep, throaty laugh that comes from the pit of her diaphragm, and it’s so fucking sexy my cock’s out of control! It wants inside her, but I’m guessing she wants a bit more than a quick fuck here. ‘Does Madame Blu need to pay you
 
a visit?’

Oh, Jesus, coming to Vegas was such a great idea. All we’ve done since we got here three days ago is fuck and laugh and escape back into our own, private world. We’re not thinking about anything else except us. How long that’s gonna last, I don’t know. I just hope it lasts for a little while longer. I really don’t want to have to face whatever reality is waiting for us out there, not just yet. Because it scares me. And I suddenly realise she isn’t the only one running now. I’m running just as fast.

‘Maybe she does. She know where we are?’ I murmur, my mouth resting against hers as her hand snakes around my hip, her fingers fanning out against it.

‘She
always
knows where we are, handsome.’

I fall on to my back and pull her over so she straddles me, and I try to push that man – Jon, I think she told me his name was – I try to push him to the back of my mind but I get the feeling he isn’t gonna go away. Not any time soon. But I won’t let him get to me. He isn’t gonna distract me from why we came here. But there’s something in the back of my mind that can’t help wondering how much she’s thinking about him.

She told me everything. Everything he’d meant to her, their entire history, and hearing those words, it made me feel sick, I can’t lie. She loved him. He loved her. A forbidden love. A secret love. She told me they couldn’t ever really be together, not back then, but now… He became her client, she continued to see him, right up until I walked into her life she was still seeing him. She only stopped a short time before we met. So can I really expect her to be over him? Completely? When just a few months ago they were still trying everything they could to snatch even the most sordid of time together?

‘Don’t, Neal.’

She leans right over, arching her back and I slide my hand into the small of it, feeling her warm skin against my palm.

‘Don’t think about it. Please.’

‘Do
you
think about it, Kira? About him?’

She kisses me, and I feel her tits brush my chest and my cock is still working on its own here. It wouldn’t matter what
I
wanted, it’s going in regardless.

‘He’s there, in the back of my mind, yes. I didn’t expect him to find me again, but…’ She sits up and raises her hips slightly, taking me in her hand as she carefully guides my eager cock inside her, lowering herself back down and I groan quietly as I feel myself sink into her. She’s warm and soft and so wet, and I freaking love it, inside her. ‘He found me. And yes, I think about him.’ She leans forward again, clenching her inner muscles tight to keep me inside her. ‘ But I think about
you
more.’

‘That right?’ I grin, holding her hips as she grinds against me and I pull my legs up a little to steady her. She thinks about
me
more. But that still means I have to share her. I never really did have her all to myself. But even though she lied to me; kept secrets from me, it’s OK. I can handle that. I just can’t handle losing her, so no matter what it takes she’s staying, with me.

‘That’s right,’ she breathes as she sits up and leans back against my legs, stretching out as she continues to grind her beautiful body on to mine. And I watch as she opens her legs a touch wider, and I can see everything; see myself disappearing inside her and it’s my favourite fucking view, man, I could watch this forever.

So I try to put him to one side, and concentrate on the fact that it’s
me
she’s fucking. It’s
me
she’s straddling. It’s
my
cock inside her, not his. But does she want him? Is she gonna tell me, if she does? Or is she just gonna have him, without me knowing? Christ, I hadn’t even had that down as an option, until now.

‘You’re doing it again,’ she says, leaning back over me, her long hair sweeping across my face and I tuck a few strands back behind her ear as she kisses me.

‘Do you want to sleep with him?’

She stills; her whole body freezes, and I don’t know what to feel now. I don’t know what I’ve done. I don’t even know whether I meant to say those words out loud or not.

‘I need to know, Kira.’

I’ve tried, to not think about this, and for three days I’ve almost managed it. But now I need to know. I need to know a lot of things. I need to know too much, but it’s like every day I’m finding out something I didn’t know about her; some secret, some revelation about her past and it really fucking scares me.

‘I need to know, baby.’

She doesn’t say anything, but her eyes won’t leave mine. And then she starts to move again, and her inner muscles resume their tight grip on my cock – how the
fuck
does she
do
that?

She wants me to come, and she wants me to come quickly, and she’s gonna get her wish because I can’t hold on any longer –
Jesus!

She won’t let up; she’s grinding and gripping, slamming down onto me as I come in sharp, heavy bursts, so many of them it’s freaking draining me! There’s nothing left. I am done. I’m fucking done.

I close my eyes, breathing in deep as I try to pull myself together, but they open again the second I feel her climb off me and I sit up, watching as she pulls on a T-shirt, covering that crazy-beautiful body.

‘Why did you bring him up, Neal?’

She walks over to the window and folds her arms against herself as she looks outside. She can’t look at me, and the whole atmosphere’s changed. I’ve let that reality back in, and we’re gonna have to face it now.

‘Because he isn’t gonna go away, Kira.’

And I’m right. He isn’t. I thought coming here would help but I think I’m wrong about that.

I get up and pull on my jeans before I go over to her, letting my hand fall on to her hip as I lean in to gently kiss her neck.

‘We have to talk about this, baby.’

She can’t run anymore. She’s hit a dead-end; we both have. And I think she knows that just as much as I do.

‘Do you want to sleep with him, Kira? When he touched you; when he kissed you, did that reignite all those feelings you’re trying to pretend you don’t have for him anymore…?’

She turns around, and her eyes are wide and angry but at least I’m getting some kind of reaction. ‘You don’t know what I’m feeling.’

‘I know you haven’t stopped thinking about him since we left New York.’

I don’t know that, actually, but her expression tells me I’m right. She left a part of herself back in Manhattan, with him. Because he’ll still be there, waiting for her to come home, of that I have no doubt. And I have no idea how to compete with a man who’s known her since she was fifteen years old. I don’t know if I can, but I have to. Because I won’t lose her.

She leans back against the wall, an almost defeated look on her face, which only confirms what I said. Coming here, to Vegas, it hasn’t helped her forget him. It’s only made him a bigger distraction.

‘I’ll talk to him,’ she says quietly, turning her head away from me as she stares back out of the window. ‘When we get home. I’ll tell him, to go. To leave us alone.’

‘That isn’t gonna work, Kira.’

She slowly turns her head back around to face me, and her eyes still hold traces of anger, but there’s also a resignation in there that unsettles me. ‘So what do
you
suggest we do, huh?’

I keep my eyes locked on hers, and a strange kind of calm washes over me, like a part of myself has suddenly become detached from the rest of me. ‘Let me watch.’

Those words I’ve just uttered, I have no idea of the impact they could cause. And she’s confused now, and I can’t blame her for feeling that way. But I know exactly what I’m doing – I’m giving her permission to see if getting him out of her system is all she needs to do. But I need to see it happen. I need to watch her as he fucks her because that’s the only way I’ll know how she’s really feeling.

‘Watch what, Neal?’

I move so I’m standing right in front of her, and I take her hand and I hold it tight because I’m about to instigate one hell of a dangerous game. Watching her fuck Kandi-Ann is one thing; that’s a fantasy, that’s play time.
This
is dangerous. Watching a man she’s admitted to once being in love with touch her in that way; watching
him
fuck her, that’s no game. I could be handing her over to him. I could be giving him exactly what he came for. But I need to do this. Because until
she
knows how she’s really feeling, this isn’t gonna go away. And I could lose her anyway. And that’s a realisation I wasn’t anywhere near willing to accept, until now.

‘Neal?’

But I don’t want a part of her. Not anymore. I’m done sharing her. And I know I said I didn’t care what she did with Kandi-Ann; I know I said I was OK with that, and I am. What she has with Kandi-Ann is nothing, it’s not even close to what she felt – what she might still
feel
for this man who turned up uninvited and invaded our world. Kandi is just her constant distraction, nothing else. She isn’t the threat I once thought she might be. He is. But I don’t want a part of her. I need all of her. So I need to know how much of her is still with
 
him. How deep those feelings really run. I need to know if his turning up is gonna kill us. And I’ve never been more fucking terrified than I am right now.

‘Sleep with him, Kira. But you need to let me watch.’

She looks at me, and she laughs nervously, folding her arms even tighter across her chest. ‘You… you’re joking, right? I mean, this – it’s crazy!’

I wish I could tell her I was joking. Because I’m still struggling to accept what I’m suggesting myself. But I need this to happen.
She
needs this to happen. It’s just the way our fucked-up world works now.

‘Tell me you don’t
want
to sleep with him, baby. Tell me you don’t want him to fuck you…’