Obsidian Faith (10 page)

Chapter Seventeen

“Kyle, you’ve got a visitor.”

Trevor had been at Victorville over a year before he heard those words. He was giddy with anticipation, because he purposely didn’t try to make any real friends in the joint. He figured he’d learned enough bad habits from his Uncle Phil and his associates to last a lifetime. He didn’t need any more.

The officer led him through the labyrinthine hallways until they came to the visiting area, a place he’d yet to spend any quality time since he’d been incarcerated. Other than Isaiah Bailey when he’d been in Florida, he’d had no other visitors.

Because she was a minor at the time he was convicted, Shanice wasn’t allowed to visit him without parental permission. And knowing Brenda and Isaiah the way he did, he knew they wouldn’t have allowed her to visit, partly because they didn’t want her exposed to the prison experience, and neither did he.

When they entered the visiting area, Trevor swept the room looking for someone, anyone he might recognize. No one fit the bill particularly, but then something looked familiar about the petite, exotic beauty in the corner who suddenly came barreling toward him.

“Ma’am, no physical contact... ” the officer escorting Trevor began, but her arms were around him, and her scent invaded his nostrils before the officer could step between them. Trevor fought back tears as he held Shanice in his arms, an experience that he’d only gotten to emulate in his dreams since he’d been incarcerated.

“Trevor, it’s been too long.” Shanice stepped back only when she got good and ready to, swiped under both eyes with her fingers, then addressed the officer. “Sorry, officer. I just haven’t seen him in three years.”

“First warning. Any further infractions and your visiting privileges will be terminated today.”

The officer got them settled at the table in the corner where Shanice had been sitting when they came in and went back to his post.

Trevor was full to overflowing, and this visit meant the world to him, but he couldn’t allow it to continue, no matter how desperately he wanted to. Since she was there, he would allow this visit, but there would be no more if he could help it. Trevor didn’t know how far Phil’s mob friends’ influence went, but he wasn’t willing to find out.

“What are you doing here, Shanice?” He asked in as neutral a tone as possible.

She folded her arms. “Good to see you, too, Trevor.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Even annoyed, she was beautiful, and Trevor lost the stoicism and chuckled. “You are amazing.”

“I know, right? I was wondering when you would finally acknowledge this.”

“Cocky, too. What happened to the little girl who idolized me most of her life?”

“She grew up. The better question is what happened to the handsome nerd with the heart of gold, and how did he end up here?”

“That’s so much water under the bridge, ‘Nice. I accepted that when the U.S. Attorney’s office accepted my plea.”

“Fair enough.”

“So, what brings you to sunny California?”

“Didn’t you get my last letter before they shipped you off, and the graduation pictures I sent you?”

“No, I didn’t. The last letter I got from you was in April of last year. They moved me here at the end of April, and all I’ve gotten since I’ve been here are Isaiah and Brenda’s holiday cards and newsletters with personal notes every once in a while.”

“I’m a student at Stanford.”

Trevor’s jaw dropped. “You’re in Silicon Valley, Santa Clara County?”

She nodded. “Yep.”

“Wow! Shanice, that’s ... I knew you were in college, but I didn’t know it was such a good school, and that you were so ... close.”

She frowned. “If you call six hours away close.”

His eyes grew wide. “You drove six hours alone?”

“No, a friend and I flew to LA together, and I drove a rental here.”

“You and a friend?”

He didn’t ask the obvious, but she rolled her eyes and answered anyway. “It was a girlfriend. Lisa.”

Trevor decided to change the subject, since he’d been so blatant about the identity of her friend. “So, how’d you end up at Stanford? I thought you were looking at Florida schools.”

She smirked. “I was, until this idiot I know stole a billion dollars from all fifty states of the union.”

He laughed and she joined him. “So, you’ve been at Stanford since last August?”

“Yeah. I had to get a handle on my studies and it took a while to trust anyone I knew with your story, because Mom and Dad didn’t want me to make the trip alone.”

Trevor loved Isaiah and Brenda for being such caring parents for Shanice. “They’re right. Coming alone would be a bad idea. In fact, coming at all is a bad idea.”

“I did not come to school in the same state as you to be told I can’t come visit.”

“I know, but you’re here to get an education, not visit a convict every weekend.”

“Well, I couldn’t come every weekend anyway, but maybe once a month or so.”

“Not even that much. Listen, as much as I appreciate your visit today, you can’t come here again.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s really no point.”

“No point? Didn’t you read my letters? I meant it when I said I would never give up on you, Trevor.”

“Visiting me could get you hurt.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“Well I do!” Trevor’s raised voice caught the attention of just about everyone in the room, so he toned it down. “Shanice, what I did pissed off some very bad people.”

“Is your Uncle Phil one of those people?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“No, it isn’t. You can’t convince me that Philip Kyle didn’t play a part in you landing in jail. Mom and Dad believe that, too. We just don’t have any proof.”

“And you don’t need any. I’m here, paying for what
I
did. I wish the people who want this money didn’t know how much your family means to me, but they do. Do you want your parents or the twins to be hurt?”

“What do you mean?”

“These people wouldn’t hesitate to use you and your family to get to me. I spent the last couple of years I was in college trying to distance myself from you guys.”

“But I kept pushing the issue,” Shanice said, realization suddenly dawning on her. “Was Mom’s accident caused by these bad people?”

Trevor nodded, his expression grave. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

Fresh tears sprung into Shanice’s eyes. “I lost my baby sister because... I knew there had to be a reason you kept pushing us away.”

“Believe me when I say, I would have sacrificed myself in her place if I could have. I was so stupid in the beginning. I was a dumb kid thinking I was paying my keep. Helping out. Then they asked for more and more, until it wasn’t just Florida stuff anymore. Those men who shadow Phil are no joke. I had to put myself in a place where they couldn’t touch me, and by default couldn’t touch you or your family until I could figure out a way to keep us all protected.”

“Have you figured it out yet?”

“I’m working on it, but honestly, Shanice, it could be years before that happens. I have to get the feds to trust me, then I’ll be hoping they will be willing to reward that trust with a deal that will bring the others to justice, while keeping you and your family out of harm’s way.”

“I know you can do this, and I’ll wait for you. As long as it takes.”

Trevor is shaking his head before she can finish her pronouncement. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“You can’t wait for me. You need to live your life. You need to forget about me, because it’s not a given that I’m going to come out of this anytime soon. I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking me. I said I was, and I am.”

Trevor remembered his promise to Isaiah. “No, Shanice.”

She implored him with her eyes. “Listen to me, Trevor. I love you, and I will always love you.”

“I have three more years and some change in here. There’s a lot of living you can do in three years. Don’t let my situation stop you.”

“I won’t.” Shanice sighed. “Listen, do these bad people have access to your mail?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Well, if it’s too dangerous and I can’t visit you, I’ll write you, and you have to promise to write me back.”

Shanice had sufficiently worn him down, so Trevor succumbed. “Okay, but we shouldn’t save the letters... destroy the paper trail.”

“Okay,” Shanice said with the biggest grin since they’d sat across from one another. “I have faith in you, Trevor Landon Kyle.”

“What is faith, anyway? It must be blind or stupid to believe in a fuck up like me.”

“My Dad says faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

“That sounds about right, because I don’t know how you see any in me. I’ve done horrible things—things that make me undeserving of a preacher’s daughter.”

“There’s nothing you can do to sway my faith in you. I have loved you since I was five years old and I know you’ve loved me, too. Maybe not in the way I wanted you to when I was eleven and trying to be the Amy to your Laurie, but I believe with all my heart we’re destined to be together, so you might as well accept it, Trevor Kyle.”

Trevor felt so bound by his promise to Isaiah, he still couldn’t give her the three little words she craved, but he felt them. Trevor felt them with all his heart.

Chapter Eighteen

Shanice’s first letter ripped his heart out of his chest and he bawled like a baby.

Dear Trevor:

We have loved one another like siblings most of our lives. It is now time for us to come to know one another as best friends,  future lovers, and confidantes.

The background we come from does not lend itself to being open, honest, and depending on another person
—
one can only trust oneself. Our biological mothers didn’t have our backs and that scarred us. My parents sent me to therapy for years, and they showed me so much unconditional love, I am mostly healed of those scars. You, however, lost David and Elena when you needed them most, so your path to healing was interrupted, and Philip did not to help you continue on that path.

I remember Phil having lots of parties and I’m sure you were exposed to many things my parents shielded me from. I remember catching you smoking pot with those boys, and you going to prom with the girl with the worst reputation at our little Christian school. You mentioned having done many other things you’re not proud of, and I know you couldn’t resist the temptation that Philip’s upbringing, or lack thereof, afforded you.

I was serious when I said that nothing you’ve done could sway my faith in you, nor kill the love I have for you. You are my destiny and I won’t allow another few years in prison deter me from it.

Let me introduce you to your future: I’m Shanice Anderson Bailey, daughter of Isaiah and Brenda Bailey, sister of Ezekiel and Ezra Bailey. I am a nursing student at Stanford University. Purple is my favorite color. The Kings of Leon are my favorite band. I cry when I watch sappy romantic comedies. I read a book almost every week, simply because I love getting immersed into the lives of fictional characters. I love a man who has had my back since we were children, and I will never stop loving him.

Now I have to go study, but I will write again. Never fear that I won’t.

Yours always and forever,

Shanice

Letter writing is one of those lost arts that Trevor had never mastered. In this digital era, all he wanted to do was email and text Shanice, but he knew those modes of contact could be easily scrutinized. However, he felt like by the time he got her letter, the immediacy of response was lost. Especially when she could be struggling with something, or needed his shoulder to lean on. Getting his response a week later just didn’t cut it.

Donald Hemphill, of all people, gave him the answer to his dilemma.

“Your girl is in a college dormitory, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You know those hall payphones, the landlines, they’re available for use by everybody in the building, even though most students today have cell phones.”

“Right.”

“So, all you need is some money on your telephone card account, and you can call her on the payphone in her dorm.”

“You’re a genius, Hemphill.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Man, I could kiss you!”

“You do, and you’ll draw back a face with no lips.”

“You’ve got a billion dollars to recover through me. You can’t do that.”

“You don’t need lips to write code.”

“Oh, right.”

“Speaking of which. Get back to it, dude. I’m outta here in thirty minutes, and like I’ve told you a million times. You are not  my only case.”

Trevor Landon Kyle /05555-055
FCI victorville
FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION
P.O. BOX 5555
VICTORVILLE, CA  61555

June 30, 2010

Dear Shanice:

You may not have Isaiah and Brenda Bailey’s blood, but you’re certainly their daughter! For the first two years I was locked up, your letters were my lifeline, my grip on reality, my only hope in this seemingly hopeless place. But it was your visit last week that finally convinced me your unwavering faith in me is not misplaced. I’m willing to accept it, because as you said, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

You put your complete trust and confidence in me the first day we met, but I’ve held myself away from you, because everyone else in my life left me. I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that you would never forsake me until last week. For a little woman, you’re certainly not a pushover. You say I’m the one who schooled you, but I can’t remember being as strong for you as you’ve been for me over the years.

From this day forward, I’m yours in good times and bad, forever and always. What I hate now more than pushing you away after David and Elena died, or pushing you away again before I came here, was not realizing my mistake and acting on it while you were here. Thank God you didn’t take my irrational doubts to heart.

Since we were children, I’ve hoped for so much for both of us, despite my life taking tragic turn after turn. I’m so happy the Baileys were able to give you the stability you deserved. I can only hope when I’m released, we can take the time to build the kind of life we’ve always longed for… together.

I love you so much, Shanice. I’m sorry I didn’t say it while you were here in front of me, and I promise when I get out of here, I will not fail to say it, or to show it to you every day of our lives.

Eternally yours,

Trevor

P.S. - Please send me the phone number for the payphone on your dormitory hall.

Trevor couldn’t say that his time flew by, but it did go better now that he was back in contact with Shanice again. They still wrote letters, but he lived for the times when they had phone conversations. Their unorthodox courtship wasn’t what he would’ve wanted for her, but anytime he tried to apologize for it, she scolded him.

“Shut it, Trevor! Don’t you dare try and insinuate that you’re not good enough for me.”

“It’s true. You deserve so much better, Shanice.”

Her voice became infinitely softer. “Baby, listen to me. You did what you had to do to keep us all alive. That makes you a hero in my book.”

“What book are you reading, girl? One where the villain becomes the hero?” He hoped his teasing would lighten the heaviness he’d just dropped on her.

“One where the hero has a dark past with an evil uncle, but he thwarts the evil uncle’s plans and his character arc makes a complete one-eighty. Then the hero and the heroine live happily ever after.”

“I need to start reading from that book then, huh?”

Her response was always definitive. “Yes, you do.”

Their conversations and her letters are what kept him going. They talked about just about everything, and they came to know one another on the most intimate level possible emotionally. Physically would have to wait until he was free man. Shanice sometimes tried to engage him in more intimate conversations by phone, but he squashed that idea fast.

“I don’t need that. You know this, right?”

“I thought maybe since we can’t be together in the flesh, it’s something I can do to take the pressure off,” She said.

He insisted. “That’s not necessary.”

“So, you’ve given up on sex?”

“No. I didn’t say that.”

“Then what are you saying?”

It was so like his girl to push the envelope. Trevor was so proud to be able to call her that and so lucky to have her even though he was in this reprehensible place. “Shanice, I don’t want to ever treat you like these guys in here treat their women. Before you know it, I’ll be out of here. Then we can get married and do things the right way.”

He could her audible gasp. “You want to marry me?”

“Well, yeah, that’s the plan.”

“When were you going to clue me in to this plan of yours if I hadn’t asked you all these other questions?”

“Well, I wanted to wait until I was out of here, so I could do it at a restaurant or something, but you’re pushy.”

“Who are you calling pushy, Mister?”

“Shanice Anderson Bailey is who.”

She huffed. “If you weren’t where you are and you had the ability to call me right back, I’d hang up on you.”

“How do you know I’d call you right back?”

“Because you love me,” she said simply.

“Well, that’s true, but maybe I’d want to teach you a lesson and not call you right back.”

“As if!”

“Watch me. Goodbye Shanice… .”

“Trevor, if you hang us this phone… .”

“You’ll what?”

“Ooh, you make me want to strangle you.”

“But in a good way, right?”

“Look who’s talking dirty now?”

“I didn’t mean it in a dirty way. I—”

“You what?”

He conceded defeat. “You win, Babe. I’ve got nothing.”

“Are you going to always let me win when we fight.”

“When we fight? You say it as if you expect it.”

“Even happily married couples fight, Trevor. My Mom and Dad did all the time.”

“Not Pastor Isaiah and Brenda?”

“Like cat and dog when it was about something either one of them were passionate about.”

“Like what?”

“Money, disciplining the boys or me, Dad saying something stupid. Oh, and money.”

Trevor’s heart sank. “Then we’re doomed.”

“Why do you say that?”

“When I get out of here, I’m going to be so broke I won’t be able to pay attention.”

“I’ll be taking the nursing boards around the time you get out so we won’t starve.”

“Shanice, I’m supposed to take care of you.”

“Where is that rule written?”

“It’s man code.”

“And who told you that?”

“Nobody. It’s just hard-wired into most men’s DNA to want to take care of his woman.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Come again?”

“If there’s one thing I learned living with my parents, it’s this: gender roles are not static. When my parents got married, they both worked and took care of each other. Mom, didn’t work when we moved to Orlando because it was cheaper to stay home and raise the boys daycare being what it was. Besides, Dad made enough to take care of all of us—most of the time. He’s so generous he sometimes got into trouble financially because he was always bailing someone out of something. That’s when they fell short and they’d fight over money. Mom went back to work when the boys went to middle school, so now they’re taking care of each other again.”

Trevor realized he was likely one of those people who made the Baileys fight over money. They’d stepped up to plate for him financially ever since he’d been incarcerated, and a few times even before that. He would just have to figure out a way to pull his weight legally when he got out.

“How’d you get so smart?” he asked.

“Book smart or common sense smart?”

“Both.”

“I had a lot of time on my hands growing up, because I was infatuated with this boy who saved me from some bullies when I was five.”

Trevor had to hurry up and get off the phone before the woman he loved heard him cry for the first time. He was so overcome with emotion he couldn’t speak for a few seconds.

“Do you remember why you did that, Trevor? All these years and I’ve never thought to ask until now.”

Trevor cleared his throat. He’d promised to be painfully honest with her, so he had to tell her. “My little sister, Natalie. You reminded me of her. Her death is what caused DCFS to take me into the system.”

“Oh, Trevor, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay now. Her death likely saved us both from so much other shit my Mom would’ve undoubtedly dragged us into.”

“The same with my mother’s death. If she’d lived, who knows what I would have become.”

“You’re a fighter, ‘Nice. You were always going to be all right.”

“You, too, Baby. And it doesn’t matter where you are now. You’re going to be all right, too.”

Trevor could only nod in agreement and hope his future bride was right, because currently, he had no clue how he was going to fix the mess he’d gotten them into. However, he went away from that conversation with a new resolve to make things right, and then figure out how to build a future for them.