Ocean's Surrender (6 page)

“I’m not making you feel anything that’s not real,” Fen soothed, reaching up to run a hand gently down her arm, over her layers of clothing. His touch settled her, but she looked down at his hand as if surprised it could do so.

“I am letting you feel what I feel. It’s like a broadcast. I’m opening my emotions to you. But you would feel anything that was there, whether positive or not. I mean you only good, so you feel that. But if I did mean you harm, you’d feel that too.”

River felt Fen’s honesty as he spoke. She also knew that she’d face quite a philosophical conundrum if she ever tried explaining how this whole “I feel I can trust him because I can feel I trust him” worked.

But it did work. All those well-honed knives of distrust and fear that had grown up inside of her withdrew in Fen’s presence.

And how often did a girl meet a man who was really magic, anyway?

“So you’re magic. And you’re good,” she said.

Fen smiled. “I am magic. And I don’t know if I’m good, but I try to be. Although sometimes I can be very greedy.”

Fen’s inhumanly dark gaze swept over River’s body in a possessive, hungry way that made her cunt clench. Fen lingered over her desire, pleased at how deeply and intensely she could feel. River would be a wonderful lover.

“What else?” she asked, almost shyly.

“Well, most of it you can guess. I’m of the sea—she’s my mother, my lover, my sanctuary. I’m only a guest on land.”

Interesting, River though, filing that information away for later.

“And why are you here?” she asked, realizing that Fen might have good intentions, but that she didn’t know the parameters of those good intentions.

What if he thinks I need a supernatural babydaddy? Isn’t that what all the Fae did in the stories my mother read to me? Knocked up the humans, since they had trouble conceiving?

The knives crept back into position as her wariness flooded through Fen’s empathic channels.

“I’m only here because I sensed someone was in trouble. I didn’t know who it was, or how. I thought it was your brother, at first.”

“So you do know Jason?”

“Oh, yes. We’ve had quite a few chats, now. He’s delightful.” The selkie’s emotions glowed with genuine affection, and a paternal protectiveness that eased River’s mind. The sad fact was that some people were drawn to Jason’s vulnerability and child-like innocence for all the wrong reasons, with intentions that were anything but protective. River had learned the hard way that any man coming into her mother’s life, and later her own, was a potential predator. Luckily, between River and her mom, the predators had been weeded out almost immediately.

Mom was a flake with a thing for losers, but she also had a knack for spotting the true Bad Hats.

Ironically, that ability had not passed on to her otherwise much more cautious and conservative daughter.

“He is delightful,” River agreed, her love for her brother emanating from her.

“And he loves you very much,” Fen said, carefully. “He’s worried about you.”

River’s emotions careened alarmingly, a thousand disparate emotions sparking like a trail of gunpowder accidentally set alight.

“What? That’s ridiculous. I’m fine.”

Fen only gazed at her quietly, causing River to sputter.

“Okay, I’ll admit it’s been a rough year. But all that stuff is over and we’re good. We’re fine. I’m fine. Besides, I’m the one who takes care of Jason, not the other way around.”

To her irritation, River knew her voice had grown petulant.

“You’ve always taken care of Jason, haven’t you?”

“Somebody had to.”

“What about your parents?”

“They were pretty useless,” River answered, automatically.

“Really?” Fen asked, leaning back on his hands. River couldn’t help but admire his body as he did so, and regret that he’d moved away. But it also felt like she had room to think, suddenly. So she did.

“No, I’m being unfair. Our parents loved us. They were just both in their own worlds. And they were always fighting and leaving each other, dragging us around the country as they broke up, then made up. And in between there was always a string of equally unstable boyfriends and girlfriends. We never had any security, and that’s what Jason needed more than anything else. He needed to be safe.”

“We can never really be safe, River, although we can feel safe.”

River gave the selkie a sharp side-eye.

“Feeling safe is being safe,” was her only response.

Fen let it go, for now.

“So why is Jason worried about you?”

River shrugged her shoulders, a look of irritation crossing her features.

“I’ve got no idea. He’s never talked to me about it. But I’m fine.”

“He told me he worries you don’t have any fun.”

“What? We have fun all the time. We go bowling, and for pizza, and we watch movies…”

“Those things are fun, yes. But they’re sort of for Jason, aren’t they?”

“We have fun together. It’s fine.”

“You like that word, ‘fine.’”

River gave Fen a withering look. The selkie only smiled at her.

“So you have fun with Jason,” he said. “But when do you have your own fun?”

“That is my fun.”

“But can you see how Jason might feel like you’re always taking care of him, rather than yourself?”

River winced, Fen’s casual words hitting like a punch.

“He takes care of me, believe me,” she said, her voice haunted. Then she rallied her knives.

“Why am I even talking to you about all this?”

Fen knew he’d gone as far as they could that day.

“You’re right. We’re only just getting to know each other. So how about we have some fun?”

His smile was sensual, and his desire beat against her in dizzying waves. River’s own arousal answered Fen’s, two-fold.

But he’s a stranger, and I don’t do boyfriends
, she reminded herself, trying to quell her sudden need to ravage him.

“Fun?” she asked, stalling.

“Fun, yes. I thought we could go swimming.”

Well that put a whole new spin on things.

“What?” she demanded. “That’s ridiculous, we can’t go swimming. Well, I can’t at least.”

“Why not?” That sexy smile remained, although now amusement crinkled the corners of his eyes.

“I’d die, you nut. It’s freezing out there.”

“River, you just watched me change from a seal into a man. We talked about how I’m magic. You don’t think I have my ways?”

“How do I know you’re not just going to drown me?” she asked, even though she could feel he had no intention of drowning her.

“That’s sirens who like to drown people, and you’d know it if I was a siren. They’re part fish, first of all, and they sing a lot.”

“Oh,” she said, flabbergasted that there were, indeed, killer merfolk out there.

“I just want to take you swimming. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

There was something about the way he said “enjoy”, and the way he felt when he said it, that made River desperately want to take him up on his offer at the same time she wanted to run away.

She eyed Fen, in all his golden, inhuman beauty. Then she looked out toward the sea. She’d always loved swimming.

“Okay,” she heard herself whisper, before she knew she’d made a decision.

Fen’s happiness radiated into her, and he leaned forward to cup her jaw in his strong hand.

“Thank you,” was all he said, before his lips brushed hers in a feather-light kiss.

When she opened her eyes, he was still smiling at her. Then he stood, pulling her up to her feet.

“Now take off your clothes,” he said, as he strode away towards the water.

Chapter Seven

River couldn’t believe she was standing there, buck naked, ready to plunge with a stranger into the freezing cold Atlantic.

First of all, there was the whole swimming-in-a-freezing-ocean-that-could-kill-her thing. But even bigger than that, really, was the fact of her scars.

She never let anyone see her scars.

But it was dark out, the moon lighting everything in a soft way she told herself wouldn’t reflect her damaged body. Indeed, as she’d slowly pulled her clothes off, she’d been delighted to see that was almost true. The burn and slash marks that covered her were almost invisible in the unearthly light.

Almost.

But Fen, sensing her trepidation and seeing the slow, watchful way she took off her own clothing, wouldn’t have commented on those terrible markings if his life depended on it. All the same, his eyes noticed every one, his need to know what happened to her tempered only by his sensitivity to the fact she was nowhere near ready to talk.

Now, Fen squeezed her hand encouragingly, pulling her gently towards the water.

“Trust me,” Fen said, knowing full well the weight of what he was asking her to do.

Even he was a little surprised when she did.

But Fen had seen it before–mortals who’d grown up with the idea of magic permeating their lives, only to become convinced as adults that their dreams had been lies.

And yet a deep, secret place inside of them still believed and, more importantly, still wanted to be proven correct.

River haltingly walked forward with him, her eyes wide with a mixture of adrenaline and natural fear. The ocean before them was relatively calm, but the waters around Maine were never gentle. Plus, as every inhabitant of Eastport knew, the Old Sow–fifth largest whirlpool on the planet–lurked just off shore. It could easily sink the largest boat, and yet it kept itself hidden, marking its presence with only an occasional swirl accompanied by the slurping noise that some said had given the Sow her name.

When their feet hit the water, Fen paused, speaking to River gently but firmly.

“Feel that, River? Does it feel cold?”

River had been prepared for a blast of ice over her naked feet, and the early spring air around them was, indeed, nippy. But the water washing over her skin was warm, as it had been when she’d swum off the waters of Florida as a child.

“No,” she marveled. “It’s not. How are you doing this?”

“Magic,” Fen said, with a broad wink. “Ready for more?”

This time River was the one to walk boldly forward, dragging Fen behind her.

River laughed delightedly as the water met her calves, and then her knees, and then nipped up her thighs. Still the water was warm.

Fen kept a firm grasp on her hand as she plunged in deeper; feeling the sea close over her hips, then move up her flat belly to her breasts. A few more steps and she was on her tiptoes. Fen smiled at her encouragingly and swam so that he was in front of her. With one gentle tug, she was off her tiptoes and treading water next to him.

And that’s when she believed, to the core of her being, that Fen was really, truly magic, for the sea felt like it never had before. A strong swimmer, River was still used to fighting the water. Their relationship had always been straightforward: it wanted to drag her down, she wanted to stay afloat. But now? It was like the water wanted whatever she wanted. They would work together, a part of each other.

“Is this what the ocean is always like for you?” she asked Fen, as they treaded water together.

He nodded. “Aye, sweet girl. She’s mine, and I’m hers.”

“It’s incredible.”

“I’ll show you incredible,” the selkie bragged, winking at her cheekily as he pulled her towards him.

Before she could react, his mouth had again found hers in a quick fierce kiss that left her lips feeling wounded when he withdrew.

He nuzzled her nose as he gave her instructions.

“Never let go of my hand,” Fen warned. “That’s how I’m able to lend you my power. You won’t feel the cold, nor will you need to breathe as long as we’re touching. But that last part is the hardest to adjust to, so we can swim close to the surface as long as you need to, to feel comfortable.”

Wide-eyed, she nodded.

“Ready, River?”

“Oh, yes,” she told Fen, and he could feel an answering wash of excitement course through him via his empathic channels.

“Come, then.” And with that, they were off.

They started, as Fen had said they would, close to the surface. Coasting waves would lift them, as if they were toddlers in a mother’s arms, and River had never felt so sheltered, so protected.

Why does he ever leave?
she wondered.
This is heaven.

Initially, as they swam, River’s instincts would propel her to the surface, where she’d breathe deeply before plunging back to join Fen, who always maintained a firm grip on her hand.

But then they started diving deeper, and those trips to the surface became fewer and fewer, until eventually River realized they’d been under the water for a very long time and she didn’t need air. She should have been gasping for breath at that point, but instead her lungs felt pleasantly half full and she had no need either to inhale or exhale.