October Joy (Moments In Paradise 1) (22 page)

All week they had been in neutral territory where her presence was simply nice and did good things for his lonely heart.  But having her at the house and meeting his kids had been a whole new feeling of, ‘God, I can’t believe You’re doing this!  I can’t believe how special Sarah is and how much I want her in my life!’  And he felt it while he was on stage too.  ‘I don’t have to do this all by myself anymore.  I don’t have to be that strong person who went on with his ministry after his wife died.  I wasn’t asking for this, but You knew I needed her.’

Going to stand beside Sarah as Pastor Joel led them in worship to respond to the message, he didn’t hold back like he had earlier when they first arrived.  He couldn’t.  She was his future wife, and he wanted everyone to have some inclination of that.  He wanted to make them curious and ask themselves, ‘Who is that beautiful woman with Pastor Andy?  Is she the one we’ve all been hoping he would find?  Has God finally brought her?  Is that what his message was about?  Can I believe in God’s goodness because I’m seeing it with my own eyes?  He is blessing Andrew and bringing him such joy after a cloudy season; He can do it for me too!’

He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him as the first song began, and he remained like that until the third, which he knew was the last.  “Come with me,” he said, taking her hand and walking with her in front of his children, who were all sitting beside them in the front row, and then turning to walk up the aisle like he always did to be at the outside doors to greet people after the service.

A lot of people were in focused worship and didn’t notice them passing by, but others saw them together walking hand in hand, and they returned the smile on his face.

“So much for anonymity,” she said once they were outside on the front steps with no one around for the moment.  “But let me be the first to tell you what a wonderful message that was.  And the worship.  And the spirit of worship in that place.  I will definitely be back next week.”

He was appreciative of her words, but his mind was elsewhere.  Kissing her tenderly, he spoke softly.  “Marry me, Sarah.  Please don’t go.  I need you.”

***

Sarah didn’t take Andrew’s words lightly or pretend she thought he was teasing.  She knew he wasn’t, and she wasn’t certain she could promise him that yet, so she simply kissed him and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a silent promise she would seriously consider that.

She fully expected the interruption of their private moment as others began coming out of the church.  She didn’t make any attempt to distance herself from Andrew’s side.  As people filed past them on the way to their cars, Andrew introduced her to everyone he seemed to know well.  Sarah could easily identify those who attended sporadically and those who were here regularly by the way they responded to her presence.

Several said something like, ‘And who’s this, Andrew?  Someone you picked up in Iowa?’

Andrew didn’t deny it and usually said, ‘Yes, God had a special surprise waiting for me there.’

When most of the people were gone, they went inside and all of the introductions were to people who knew Andrew well: his staff members, ministry leaders, and those who liked to hang around after church talking and connecting with others on a more personal level on Sundays.  She finally had a chance to meet Pastor Joel, the only pastor she hadn’t met yet, and she told him how much she enjoyed the worship.  She also met his wife, Natalie, and she seemed sweet and happy to meet her.  They were both in their early thirties, she guessed, and they had three young children who were running circles around them: Madison, Jesse, and Gabriel.

She saw Donna again, and Donna talked with her more openly about wanting to get together with her this week and when would be a good time.  Andrew had stepped away to take care of a few things before they could leave, and Sarah told Donna she wasn’t certain of her schedule this week.

“I think Andrew will be here at church most days except for Friday, so I’m pretty free.”

“How about tomorrow?  Would you like to have lunch?”

“Sure, that would be fine.”

“Okay, I’ll come pick you up at eleven-thirty and take you to a local favorite.”

Knowing Donna was the women’s ministry leader, Sarah felt a little reluctant about meeting with her.  She seemed nice, but Sarah could already hear her saying, ‘We have this coming up on such and such date.  Will you still be here then?  I could really use some help putting it all together.’  She began to wonder if she was trying to run from something she could never get away from.

Andrew noticed her silence on the drive home, and when he pulled into the driveway and parked the car behind the one already in the garage, he reached over to stroke her cheek and asked if she was all right.

“I’m fine.”

“Did I mess up, Sarah?  Did I make you uncomfortable by telling everyone about us?”

“No,” she said.  “That was fine.  I’m not comfortable with trying to disguise the truth.”

He kissed her gently.  “Then where’s that smile I love?”

She explained with the words she had been thinking for the past fifteen minutes.  “I’d love to be your wife, Andrew.  But I’m not sure I want to be a pastor’s wife again.”

“You don’t have to be a pastor’s wife here.  You can just be
my
wife.”

“Can I?” she challenged him.

“Yes, you can.  I promise.”

“I think Donna is already trying to recruit me into something.”

“Why do you think that?”

“She invited me to have lunch with her tomorrow.”

“I think she just wants to make you feel welcome and to get to know you.  She’s not that kind of person.  She’s passionate about what she does, but she doesn’t force people to lead Bible studies or to do anything they’re not gifted to do.”

“But everyone always expects I’m gifted to do everything.”

“Then you need to learn to say no when you know they’re wrong.”

She didn’t know if she could do that.

“You know what Annika learned worked the best?”

“What?”

“To everything--whether it was something she initially wanted to do or not, she would say, ‘Let me pray about that.’  And then when she gave the person her answer, she could say, ‘I prayed about it, and I don’t think God wants me to.’  Make it about you and God, Sarah.  That’s what Annika did, and that’s what I do too.”

Sarah wasn’t convinced she could have a different kind of life as a pastor’s wife here with Andrew than she’d had with Levi, but so far none of her other fears about coming here had come true, so she let it be for now.

They went into the house, and she went upstairs to change out of her dress, but she remained in the bedroom for a few extra minutes, feeling grateful Andrew had insisted on having her own space here.  She wasn’t used to being around a lot of people she didn’t know, and she needed a break and a little cry to release her conflicting emotions.

When she felt ready to go downstairs and join the others for lunch, she stepped into the hall and saw Andrew patiently waiting for her.  She hadn’t asked him to, and he appeared concerned.  He pulled her close to him, and her tears returned.

“Do you want me to call Donna and tell her you’re not ready to be meeting everyone yet and for now you’re just here to get to know me?”

She didn’t know what to say.  It hadn’t occurred to her to ask Andrew to do that, and she was surprised he would be willing to.  But his words fit with everything she knew about him.

“It’s okay, Sarah, if that’s what you want.  I know she’ll understand and won’t take it personally.”

She knew meeting with Donna right now would be too many new things for her.  She had come here to have some time with Andrew and meet his family.  That’s all she had agreed to and all he had asked of her--and all God had asked of her.  The peace of knowing she had done the right thing by coming here returned, and Andrew’s words helped too.

“I want you to be you, Sarah.  The person I met at the conference is who I want here with me too.  Was that you?”

“Yes,” she said and smiled.  “Unfortunately, yes.  The woman who couldn’t make it through one whole day without crying.  The woman who booked a hotel room five miles away.  The woman who got lost walking around the city.  That’s me, Andrew.  That’s who I was there and who you brought to California with you.”

“Oh, that woman,” he said.  “The one who captured my heart?  I like her.”

She didn’t respond, and he continued.

“She was beautiful, and kind, and looked great in a pair of jeans.”

She laughed.  “Andrew!”

“What?  She did, and I’m a man.  I notice these things.”

Sarah felt beautiful in that moment.  Levi had always made her feel beautiful, and Andrew did too.  “What else was she like?” she asked softly.

“Brave,” he sighed.  “Broken.  Strong.  Weak.  Real.  Someone I wanted to take care of.  Someone I wanted to kiss.”  His lips found hers and kissed her with a gentle passion that took her breath away.  “Someone I asked to marry me this morning.  The woman I want to love for the rest of my life.  Are you interested in that?”

“Yes.”

“Then don’t be scared, Sarah.  This can be your life, and it can be good.  I promise.”

***

Grace enjoyed having the whole family together for two days.  Seeing Danae and Tate had been completely unexpected in the middle of the semester like this, and having Danae here to share about her week with James was a special treat.  She didn’t have any friends she could talk to on a heart-to-heart level like that, and despite some tough years between them, Grace considered Danae to be her best friend now.

Watching them drive away was difficult, but the house didn’t seem empty like it usually did after she went inside on such a day.  For one thing, it wasn’t empty.  James was still here, along with Tabitha, Drew, Kanani, Sarah, and Dad.  Trying to decide how to spend the rest of the day, they all thought going to the Boardwalk would be fun.  Sarah hadn’t been to the beach yet, and the Santa Cruz sand was especially nice for walking on.

Grace went back and forth on her emotions concerning Sarah being here.  She was thrilled for her dad, and it was obvious he had made a good choice, but seeing him with someone besides her mom was difficult.  She supposed that would get easier with time.

When her dad and Sarah went for a walk on the beach after they had all browsed in a few shops together, Grace sat down with the others on the sand, and it didn’t take long for the topic to turn to Dad and Sarah.  They all felt the same as she did, except for James who had never known their mom, so it was only strange for him to see her dad with a woman, not with a different one.

“What about her reminds you of your mom?” he asked all of them.

Grace thought of one thing immediately, but she let Drew speak first.  “She’s got that quiet nature mom had.  Last night I thought she was being shy, but she’s not.  She doesn’t have the need to be the center of attention.”

“She’s soft,” Tabitha said.  “Mama was always soft.  Her skin, her hair, her voice.  Even when she was mad, she was still soft.”

“I can’t imagine Sarah being mad,” James said.

“None of my friends ever thought my mom got mad either,” Tabby said.  “They’d say, ‘Your mom is so nice.  She never gets mad.’  And I’d say, ‘She can get mad, but not very often and only when I really deserve it.’”

Grace agreed with Drew and Tabby on both counts.  She didn’t know if she should share her own ‘Mom-sighting’ in Sarah or not.  It was of a more personal nature she wasn’t certain Drew or Tabby would have experienced.  Kanani said something before she made up her mind.

“Your mom treated everyone the same, and I saw that in Sarah last night with all of us, and this morning at church.”

Grace agreed with that too.  If there was one trait of her mother’s she wished she had, that was the one.  She judged people quickly, but her mom didn’t judge.  Period.

“How about you, Gracie?” James said.  “You’re being quiet.”

She went ahead and said it.  “Mom was my best friend, and I’ve had a difficult time replacing that since she’s been gone.  But once Sarah isn’t completely attached to Dad, I can see us being that way with each other.”

“They’re sweet together,” Kanani said.  “Your mom and dad were like that too.”

Grace remembered something her mom once said to her.  Her mom had been talking to her about dating when she was probably sixteen or so, and she’d said, ‘If you think you’ve found someone who’s sweeter than you, he’s worth another date.’

Grace glanced at James, and she knew her mom was right.  She had been trying to figure out what exactly she liked about him, besides the obvious things, and that was it.  He was sweeter than her.  Very sweet.

Leaning over, she whispered in his ear.  “Is Sarah the only one who gets a romantic walk tonight?”

“No, Ma’am,” he said.  “I’ve been waiting all week for this.”

He stood up and excused them from the others as he took her hand and pulled her toward the water.

“All week?” she asked.

“Where did you think I was going to take you after the movie last night, if our plans hadn’t changed?”

“Home?”

He laughed.  “You don’t know me at all, do you?  You think I would have been satisfied with a movie after waiting for three years?  That’s no way to win a girl’s heart.”

“You know who you remind me of,” she said, snuggling into his side.

“Who?”

“My dad.  The way he was with my mom.  The way he is with Sarah.”

“That’s a big compliment,” he said.  “Are you sure I’m worthy of that?”

They weren’t far from the others yet, but she stopped him anyway and gave him a light kiss.  “Absolutely.”

They walked in the opposite direction as Dad and Sarah, and they didn’t return until the others were getting curious about how far they had walked.  Her dad was in a good mood, and Sarah appeared perfectly happy by his side.  Earlier she seemed to have something on her mind, but Grace knew from experience a good talk with her dad could help sort out whatever was bothering her.  Or Sarah may have just been sad.  She remembered her dad being that way a lot after Mom died.  He wasn’t crying or upset or angry, just sad.