OF DREAMS AND CEREMONIES (14 page)

"Everyone likes you, too, David."

"It's not the same thing. I get on all right with most people, if I try. And I do try. You don't have to. People just fall for you, no matter what you do."

Nicholas sighed, and grabbed the cloth to wipe down the already clean counter. Eventually he asked, "Why was I alone for so long, then?"

"Were you?" Dave scrunched up his face in thought. "I kinda assumed … I dunno. I guess I assumed you got around a bit. Plenty of boyfriends."

Nicholas seemed to be finding this conversation excruciating, and yet equally seemed determined to see it through. "Well," he said. "I suppose I had my share of … friends with benefits. And … um … acquaintances with temporary privileges. Probably rather too many of the latter," he confessed. And then Nicholas looked at Dave with shocking directness. "But you're only the third guy I've really loved."

"The third? Me and Frank and … ?"

"Oh, a guy at uni. It only lasted a couple of years. Not even that, really. Not properly. I think Frank spoiled me in some ways … It was only ever really friendship, no more than that for him - but he was very … steadfast … in his affection."

"That's not spoiling you. You're entitled to expect steadfast."

Nicholas smiled at him softly. "It's one of the things I love most about you."

"You already know you're only the second person I've ever loved," said Dave in his turn. "It's only been you and Denise for me. And I'm not planning for that to ever change. Not now."

Nicholas nodded vigorously, but his head was down again. Apparently they hadn't quite got to the point of the conversation yet. Dave glanced at the oven timer; they had two minutes, maybe. Though in reality, they had the rest of their lives.

"Hey," said Dave softly, going over there to wrap his arms around Nicholas's waist and push close. To get right in Nicholas's face in the most loving of ways. "Hey, you have to know I reckon I'm the luckiest guy in the whole world, to get lucky with you - when you could have had absolutely
anyone
you ever wanted."

And at last Nicholas lifted his head again, and those deep dark eyes looked clearly into Dave's own. "And you should know, David, that I feel exactly the same way.
Exactly
."

"Do you … ?" Even now he found that hard to believe.

"Yes. You should have more faith in me."

"I have complete faith in you. Not so much in myself, I guess."

"It's the same for me," Nicholas insisted again. "What you just said. It's exactly the same."

"Well, then," said Dave, feeling something within his chest at last relax and warm into utter happiness. A tension he hadn't even known was there was now gone.

"Well, then," Nicholas agreed. And his smile perfectly reflected how Dave felt.

eleven

Dave figured that more research about the boat trip was called for, so he and Nicholas walked around the coastal path to the village of Cadgwith one morning. It took them about two hours, which included time to gaze in awe at the rugged scenery - though they didn't linger anywhere for very long, as the weather was cold and windy. The seas were running high, with waves crashing spectacularly against the rocks and cliffs. Which was all very well to look at, snugly bundled up as they each were in padded coats. This was Dave's first proper coat, and he was certainly beginning to see the merit in it. However, "Right now I'm thinking no about the boat trip, Nicholas."

"I don't think Bert would even consider taking us out on a day like this," Nicholas agreed. The path widened a little, and Nicholas settled into step beside Dave; took his hand in his. And Dave would have hung on no matter what, but on that day he had to admit to himself that he was glad there was no one else about. He still got a bit too self-conscious sometimes about being gay, about having a husband. It was something he knew he had to work on.

Eventually the path took them down a steep hill into the fishing village, and they saw that the weather must be even worse than they'd thought. All the boats were drawn up out of the water onto the stony shore, with a couple apparently battened down for the winter season. Another boat was being hauled up by winch even as they arrived. As luck would have it, the boat turned out to be Bert's
Fortune Teller.
Nicholas and Dave stood out of the way and watched the goings on. Vincent was with Bert, dealing with scuba gear and with his slim figure still snugly encased in a wetsuit, so it seemed he'd gone diving while they were out there. The other boats all appeared to be working fishing boats, and there were the usual sights and strong smells involved in dealing with a catch, including a flock of hovering seagulls. All very vivid and picturesque!

Dave took the opportunity to cast a critical eye over Bert's boat, but he soon had to admit that to a landlubber it looked as sturdy and serviceable as any of the rest of the fleet. Perhaps, if it weren't for the weather …

When Bert was finally free to come over and say hello - casting bashful glances at Nicholas whenever he dared - Dave commented, "There's a storm coming, then?"

Bert looked amiably confused, and for a moment frowned up at the overcast sky. "Um, no … ? Maybe some rain later, and a bit of a blow. Wouldn't call it a storm."

"Oh. I just thought, with you going to all the trouble of hauling the boats up onto the shore …" Dave didn't dignify it with the term 'beach'. He had his standards.

The confusion vanished. "No, we always haul them up here. The sea gets too rough to moor offshore, and the cove's too small to hold even one boat at anchor."

"I see!" It seemed like an awful lot of bother to be hauling boats in and out of the sea, but who was Dave to argue? He noticed that Vincent was nearby, still fiddling with his scuba gear and looking at them a bit edgily. Maybe the man didn't like Bert wasting time on taking tourists out on the water. Maybe he just didn't like Bert paying so much attention to anyone else. "Look, Bert - " Dave began.

"I know. You're still thinking about it."

Dave laughed, and Nicholas offered a shrug with one of his most charming smiles.

"I wouldn't take you out today or tomorrow, it's going to be windy tomorrow, but we're looking at a couple of calm days after that," Bert said. "You just let Mrs Widgery know if you decide."

"Will do. Well - " Dave turned to Nicholas. "Shall we grab some lunch here before we head back?"

"Sure. Thanks, Bert!"

They had offered their farewells and turned away when Bert called after them. "If it rains, Vincent can drive you back home."

"Oh, that's all right," Dave said - for Vincent didn't look very pleased at being volunteered. "It'll hold off, and anyway we'll go cross-country this time. We came the long way round."

"No, go on," Bert insisted. "You really should." After a dramatic pause, he added, "Vincent has a Maserati."

"What?!" Dave exclaimed, thinking that Bert must have got that very wrong. Could he have possibly meant a Mazda … ? But when Dave glanced at Vincent, he received a cool nod of confirmation. A Maserati it was.

Nicholas let out a breath which sounded like '
Wow
…'

"Don't you go getting any ideas if he drives us," Dave cautioned, though quietly so only Nicholas would hear. "You and your thing for chauffeurs," he grumbled.

"Never!" Nicholas took Dave's hand again, and Dave bore it manfully.

"Have your lunch, and come back down in an hour or so," offered Vincent. "I'll run you home before I drop Bert off."

And so they agreed.

The Maserati hardly had the chance to shine in the five minutes of country roads that took them back to the cottage, but Dave and Nicholas were stirred enough to decide on taking the Jaguar out for a spin that afternoon. They headed for Penzance, then drank a takeaway cuppa while considering St Michael's Mount, drove back home again - and then made out in the car until the windows steamed up. The evening played out the way that honeymoons are supposed to …

Late that night Dave woke, and was unsurprised to find that one of the bedroom curtains was open. Nicholas, however, was nowhere to be seen. Dave would have assumed he'd gone to the bathroom, if only Dave didn't have a lingering notion that it had been the noise of the front door quietly closing that had woken him up. Dave cursed under his breath, and hauled himself out of the soft warm bed. He was already dressed in his usual t-shirt and boxer shorts, so he simply grabbed his coat on the way, and made his way outside.

Nicholas was out the front of the cottage, standing on the cliff edge. Dave's heart pounded in fear. From the cottage door, it looked as if Nicholas was literally on the edge, and dressed in little more than his dressing gown, too. There was a stiff wind coming in off the sea, so at least that was pushing him back in the right direction - but then Nicholas seemed to be leaning into it as he peered down the cliffs, and what if there was a moment's lull in the wind's resistance, and Nicholas was leaning just a little too far to keep his balance?

Dave walked closer, quietly, not wanting to startle the man, and he veered off at an angle so that he wasn't coming up directly behind him. Once he was about two or three metres distant from Nicholas's left shoulder, he said the man's name in tones that were calm but would carry. "Nicholas. What's up?"

Nicholas didn't seem surprised to find he had company, thank God. He cast Dave a scowl, and said, "I thought I heard something. I'm sure I saw lights."

"Where? At the stone circle?"

"No, on the beach down there."

Dave wasn't quite game enough to get that close to the cliff edge, but he looked to see if he could make out any light that couldn't be explained by natural causes. There was nothing. "Nicholas. No one would bring a boat into that bit of beach with this wind, even in daylight. It would be far too dangerous. They call it a lee shore," he added, drawing on the seamanship he'd learned from Patrick O'Brian. "They'd be driven onto the rocks."

Nicholas was absolutely adamant, of course. His jaw set mulishly.

"There's no other way of getting down there."

"I wasn't imagining it."

"I know. But if they're gone now, we're not going to solve the mystery tonight, are we? Come back inside, Nicholas."

A long moment dragged past while the wind buffeted them. Nicholas seemed to be shaking - though whether from cold or fear, excitement or anger, Dave didn't know.

"Please, Nicholas. Come back to bed with me."

That earned him a reluctant glance, and a protest half-shouted against the wind: "Don't humour me!"

"I wasn't! I'm just frozen through to my marrow, is all." Dave waited until Nicholas glanced at him again, a little more sympathetically this time. "I can't warm up properly without you. Not any more."

Nicholas huffed as if still suspecting that he was being played. But after another long moment he turned away from the cliff edge, and stepped towards the cottage, holding out his hand to invite Dave along with him. The ever-clumsy Nicholas simply turned and stepped away from the edge as confidently as a tightrope walker. And Dave stumbled towards him, took his hand, and hung on.

They didn't talk about it. Nicholas obligingly disrobed and got under the covers and wrapped himself around Dave - not that Nicholas felt much warmer than Dave himself, but with the doona and an extra blanket tucked in around them, they warmed up soon enough.

Despite all of which Nicholas felt tense, as if he wasn't prepared to forgive Dave nor ask for forgiveness himself. Eventually Dave asked, "Why d'you go out there?"

After a brief pause, Nicholas gave a succinct answer: "Curious."

Dave persisted. "What did you think you'd find?"

"Dunno." Nicholas shifted as if shrugging, but seemed to finally relax a little.

"Witches? Maidens? Pixies?"

"Smugglers," was the reply. "This is a
Famous Five
adventure, not a ghost story."

"Oh,
Nicholas
," Dave chided.

Luckily Nicholas saw the funny side of it, for a chuckle bubbled out of him as if he just couldn't help himself - and then Dave laughed under his breath, and soon they were giggling, and wriggling in closer together, and they were warm and happy. Nicholas yawned, and then Dave did, too - and soon they had smiled and snuggled themselves back into a peaceful sleep.

Nicholas wandered out for a breath of fresh air the next morning, while Dave got breakfast ready. Within moments, however, there was a cry of "David!" and then Dave heard Nicholas at the front door again. "David, come out here, will you?" Nicholas called in urgent tones. "Can you leave that? There's something at the stone circle."

Dave had already covered up the food - an Australian habit, apparently, as flies seemed almost non-existent in England - and for good measure he switched off the kettle, though he hadn't known it not to automatically cut off when it was done. "What is it?" he asked as he met Nicholas at the door and then followed him out.

"I don't know yet. I didn't go up."

Dave didn't cast the man a sympathetic look, but instead took his hand as they walked up there.

"See?" said Nicholas almost before they'd even left the cottage behind.

Dave squinted up at the stones. The wind was strong off the sea, so he had to push his hair back to get it out of his eyes. There was something - small. Not a witch nor even a hiker, but something small and yellow or white, apparently tied to one of the stones. The one most directly opposite the sea. "What - " His mind raced, but didn't come up with any ideas at all.

Nicholas kind of went 'Huh huh' under his breath as if forcing a laugh. "Not a sacrifice!" - as if trying to convince himself.

"Well," Dave reasoned, though perhaps not helping anything, "if it was a sacrifice, it would be on the altar stone, wouldn't it?"

Nicholas just glanced at him, perturbed.

When they got up there, it seemed both relatively harmless and curiously weird. They stood there together still hand in hand, staring a bit gobsmacked at a small bunch of silk flowers bound to one of the stones with a long yellow-gold ribbon. The flowers were yellow and white and -

"Wattle," said Nicholas. "Which is Australia's national flower, isn't it?"