OF DREAMS AND CEREMONIES (2 page)

"I think you'll find that Nicholas is talking with Frank, who helps tend the garden," Simon said as he ushered Dave out onto the terrace. "He used to be the chauffeur, and he still maintains the cars, but he no longer drives."

"Ah," said Dave. The infamous chauffeur.

Nicholas's first love. "Did he get too old to drive? Lose his licence?"

"No, sir. There was an accident. Nothing of any real account, but there was nerve trauma which affected his vision. He felt it best if he gave it up. A matter of safety for himself and the family."

"I thought - Nicholas spoke of him as having retired."

"Well, I suppose that's how we all considered it, in many ways, though it wasn't due to age." The two of them were strolling along the terrace very slowly now. Simon cast Dave a discreetly querying look.

Dave nodded. It was perfectly obvious what wasn't being said. "Nicholas told me about … how he felt for the man. Frank."

"Frank Brambell."

"Right. But I thought it was meant to be a big secret. Nicholas didn't tell me much - not even Frank's name. Didn't want to embarrass anyone. Does he know that you know?"

"I shouldn't think so."

The two of them came to a halt, and Dave considered Simon for a long moment. "You know pretty much everything that goes on around here, don't you?"

"You've nothing to fear from me on that account, Mr Taylor."

"No, of course not. I just meant - Well, can I talk to you? Sometime soon. I need to ask you about something. Nothing to do with Frank."

"Of course. Shall we say eleven tomorrow morning? I usually have a quiet hour or so before lunch."

"Perfect. Thanks." Dave added, "You really don't have to call me Mr Taylor, you know."

"Habit, sir, I'm sorry - long ingrained!" Simon led them off again, and they headed down some steps onto a lawn. He murmured, "David, I'm very glad that Nicholas told you about Frank."

And then, before Dave had time to even think about how to respond to that, Simon gestured towards the middle distance where a man was on his knees by a flower bed - and Nicholas was sitting cross-legged on the grass nearby wearing his Akubra but otherwise soaking up the sunshine. He looked so utterly relaxed.

"Thank you, Simon," said Dave. And Simon nodded his acknowledgement and headed back inside.

Dave took a moment to breathe in the fresh air and turn his face, as Nicholas was, to the sun. It was so much gentler here than in Australia. He liked it well enough, but figured it would take some getting used to. He set off across the lawn, watching his … whatever it was he and Nicholas were to each other. He doubted there were any words. Or none that wouldn't make him wince. Or blush.

Australians weren't meant to blush. They were going to put something in the Preamble to the Constitution about it.

Meanwhile, it seemed clear that Nicholas was basking in not just the sunshine but in Frank's presence, and in his own happiness, too. Dave liked to think that he himself might at least have something to do with the latter.

Nicholas finally saw him when Dave was about halfway across the lawn. He grinned impossibly bright, and scrambled up to his feet, jogged lightly over to meet him. There was confusion for a few moments of the most delightful kind. They were reaching for each other's hands and fumbling, not hugging but still drawing near and nearer; Dave was grinning like an idiot himself, they were both grinning too much to kiss, so they settled for resting temple against temple under the brim of Nicholas's Akubra and then twisting around, trying to see each other more clearly while staying in contact … It was ridiculous, really, and at last Nicholas just let out a joyous laugh, wrapped both of his arms tight around Dave's shoulders and gathered him in, and Dave wound his own arms around Nicholas's waist, and they just kind of clung and swayed together there as if they were utterly mad.

Which Dave supposed they were, really. In the best possible ways. This was love. If Dave had still had any qualms or questions, there could be no doubting the answers now.

Eventually Nicholas laughed again, and they broke apart - except that Nicholas kept one of Dave's hands in his, and tugged at it. "Come and meet Frank," he said, with a complete lack of guile.

"Sure," Dave replied easily. He didn't know if he was supposed to realise who Frank was, but that was fine. There was no need for any drama or fuss.

Frank was apparently weeding, grasping each invader in one gloved hand, and levering it out with a gardening fork in the other. He stopped what he was doing as Nicholas and Dave drew near, and stood, taking his gloves off. When Nicholas introduced them to each other, Frank shook Dave's hand with both of his own - and he called Dave 'sir' with a friendly smile. It seemed to be as Simon said, that everyone was happy to welcome him as Nicholas's … whatever. Future partner. There was no hint from Frank that there was anything particular about his relationship with Nicholas, but while the three of them exchanged inanities about the garden and the weather, Nicholas seemed both proud and bashful. And finally, when Dave happened to be turning to look back towards the house, he caught a glimpse from the corner of his eye of Frank winking broadly at Nicholas, as if to say 'Well done!' - and Nicholas gurgled a happy laugh in reply. Dave manfully pretended not to notice.

"
Anyway,
" said Nicholas rather heavily, as if needing to change the subject, "poor David has had to leave his beloved Land Cruiser behind in Australia - "

"Are you joking? I'm having it shipped out."

"So,
Frank,
I thought maybe you'd give him a tour of the cars sometime, and see if there's something that might distract him from the grief."

"Of course, Nicholas," Frank replied. "Tomorrow morning, perhaps, sir?"

"Um, after lunch would be better. If that doesn't get in the way of your work."

"Plans already?" Nicholas commented with a slightly quirked smile.

"Plans … jetlag …" Dave gestured vaguely: Who could possibly know?

They agreed that Nicholas would accompany Dave to the garage at around two-thirty the following afternoon. And then Frank added that if there were any motors that Dave took a shine to, there'd be no problem with him using them, working on them, driving them …

"Thanks," said Dave, quite genuinely. Though as he and Nicholas finally took their leave of Frank and started heading back towards the house, Dave complained, "I can't believe you want me to cheat on the Cruiser!"

"Aw, don't think of it like that … The Cruiser won't mind you having a meaningless holiday fling."

"Yeah, well, look how that worked out for you! And anyway," he continued, "if we're getting married or whatever, don't you want me to be the loyal type?"

"If … ?" Nicholas echoed, with a quiet little edge to it.

"Well, we are, aren't we?" Dave confirmed. "Getting married." He found himself literally scratching his head in puzzlement. "And I'm the loyal type. Whether that's Denise, or the Cruiser, or you … Wasn't that one of the first things you knew about me?"

Nicholas took Dave's hand, just very lightly, and stopped them both somewhere on the lawn between the flower beds and the terrace. "This got rather serious," he said with a solemn kind of humour. "I thought you'd enjoy seeing the cars, and maybe driving them. That's all."

"Yeah, that's fine," Dave replied, though he suspected there was more to it than that. "That's good."

"I really didn't mean it about you cheating on the Cruiser, you know."

Dave smiled. "That's even better."

Nicholas took a tiny step closer, suddenly seeming a little breathless. "I like you being loyal. I even liked that you were loyal to Denise - and still are!"

"I know." It was fine. He squeezed Nicholas's hand, and they turned to continue slowly on their way.

A long moment passed before Nicholas asked with deceptive lightness, "How long were you planning to stay?"

"Well …" He hardly knew how to answer that.

"I mean … you have a return ticket … ? Is it an open ticket, maybe?"

They hadn't talked about the future in anything but the most general terms. Dave cleared his throat, wondering if Nicholas could pick up on how nervous he was. Knowing that he probably could. "No, I don't."

"You don't - ?"

"Have a return ticket. But I
do
want to go back, right? I want - I'd really like it if we lived there. Nicholas, if you - "

"No, I want that, too. To live in Australia with you. In your home… ?"

"Yes. Please. Unless you - "

"No, I loved it there. I really did. Your family home."

"Good." Not that Dave had family any more, but it was the house in which he'd grown up. The house his parents had bought when they married. The house which, between the three of them over the years, they'd fixed up and made into something pretty special - though nothing to compare to an English manor house, of course.

"And - Well, if - " Now Nicholas cleared his throat.

"Um - I don't understand. They let you into the country without a return airline ticket?"

"No. I, um - Well, I applied for a British passport before I left. I mean, I'm still Australian, but Dad was English, yeah? So I can be both, and I thought - "

"Oh, David!" Nicholas had stopped again, and was standing there staring at him with his eyes glowing. "That's marvellous!"

"It's one of the reasons I didn't come over right away. To be honest, it took me a while to realise I should, and then it took a few weeks to get the passport, but that was okay because I had to get things sorted out with the house. I did one trip I had booked, but there's another I'm meant to be doing in September."

"So we have until September?" It wasn't quite August yet.

"No, I've got - Well, there's a couple who help me out with the larger tour groups. They're gonna do this one for me."

Nicholas asked, kind of hushed, "How long were you planning to stay?"

"As long as it takes, I guess."

"Oh
God
…" Nicholas looked almost more overcome than he'd been when they'd been announcing - in front of Nicholas's entire family - their intention to marry. "Thank you. Oh David,
thank you
."

Dave cast a look about him as if there'd be some answer to the nervousness he felt. He hadn't counted on this meaning so much to Nicholas. Except he'd known that it would, hadn't he? "I figured the passport - I mean, having British citizenship or whatever - would make things more straightforward."

"It will. Oh, I'm sure it will. And you'll stay while we're planning the ceremony and everything?"

He sighed, and ventured, "We're not talking about just swinging by the registry office next time we're in town, are we?"

Nicholas shook his head very solemnly. No. No, they were not.

"How long are we talking about?"

"Six months?"

"All right," he said stoically. Six months of - he assumed - living in a mansion house with an Earl, with nothing to do all day but plan a big gay wedding and be tempted to cheat on the Cruiser. Well, he didn't suppose that was so bad.

"Can you do that? Do you have other trips planned for later in the year?"

"No, most people want to head up north - to places more like Kakadu, you know? But once the Wet starts, there's no point."

After a moment, Nicholas said a bit brokenly, "Can we go sit down? Inside?"

"Of course. Are you okay?" Dave asked in concern, following Nicholas towards the nearest door while managing to usher him in at the same time.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. I just - need a cold drink. I don't like to get too hot."

"You never said … How on earth did you cope in Australia, then?"

"I don't know. I don't know. That was different. And it was winter there!" Nicholas led the way into the family living room, and headed for the discreet little bar area while swiping off the Akubra.

Dave watched carefully as Nicholas put together two tall tumblers of ice, bottled water and lime juice. He needed to learn this kind of thing, for both their sakes. Though he reflected that he'd never had to push Nicholas to drink enough water in Australia, as he'd often had to with other clients from cooler countries. Now he guessed something of why.

Nicholas brought the drinks over, and collapsed to sprawl on a sofa, glancing at the seat beside him to indicate Dave should join him. A moment passed during which Nicholas cooled down, and even Dave sipped appreciatively at his drink. Eventually he asked again, "All right?"

"Yes." Nicholas nodded gently, not lifting his head from the back of the sofa. "It was different in Australia. It was an adventure - and I was so happy! And it'll be fine when we go back there."

"Brisbane, though," Dave said with fresh misgivings. "It was still pretty warm, wasn't it? Compared to the kind of winters you're used to. And you don't know what it's like in the summer. It can be pretty tough, even for those of us who are used to it. It's not just the heat, it's the humidity."

"Don't let's worry about that for now."

"What, then? What was the matter?"

"I just - " Nicholas gazed at him, more utterly vulnerable than beseeching, though it had the same effect. "Three months, if you want. Not six. But - you know what I'm talking about. Once I've gone, I might not get to come back. And I've
loved
it here, David. I
love
my family, I've
chosen
to stay here, it's not because I had to - "

"Oh God," he muttered, distraught.

"It's all right, though," said Nicholas. "It's all right, because I love being with you even more."

Dave just reached to hold his hand.

"So we'll do this, all right? But let me have this time. Share this time with me, be part of it with me. Let me make a bit of a fuss. I'll say goodbye properly. And then we can start our new life together, and it will be fine."

"Will it?" he asked.

"Yes," Nicholas replied with great certainty. "It will be
perfect
."

Dave groaned a little, completely out of words. And then he put the drink down, and crawled along the sofa to lie by his love with his head on Nicholas's chest listening to that strong patient heartbeat. Praying that it would never ever stop.