OF DREAMS AND CEREMONIES (7 page)

"Shall we see if we can move inside?" Dave asked - though they'd walked through the pub when they arrived, and it had been clear it was one of those really old places with rooms far too small and cramped to cope with even ten or twelve people all sitting together.

"No, it's all right."

"Drink, Nicholas?" someone asked.

"Still water with ice and lime," he said, squinting up at whoever it was. Dave hadn't managed to attach a single name to a face yet.

"David?" the someone continued. "I think they have Foster's on tap."

Dave suppressed a shudder, and decided the affronted lecture on what a Queenslander was prepared to drink could wait. "I'll have the same as Nicholas, thanks."

Nicholas looked at Dave, his expression scrunched up with concern now. "You can have a beer."

"I know. But I'll keep you company."

"Well. You might not want to start
that
habit. I should warn you I hardly ever drink."

"You drank beer in Australia," Dave remarked.

"Only ever one or two, not very often - and when in Rome …"

"You drink beer in Rome?"

"No! Idiot …" Nicholas guffawed with genuine humour, which made Dave smile. "I'm sorry," Nicholas said very quietly after a moment. "I'm just paranoid about getting headaches. Even … ordinary ones."

"I get it," Dave said, matching his tone. "D'you want to take a couple of your pain killers, just in case? Prevention being better than the cure."

Nicholas smiled at him fondly. "No, it's all right. I'll be all right."

"You go inside the moment you want to, and I'll get everyone else moved in as well, I promise. It won't be a problem."

The smile broadened, and Nicholas finally relaxed. "I like you looking after me."

"Just trying to return the favour," Dave asserted, endeavouring not to turn self-conscious and betray himself. When he finally turned away from Nicholas and sat back, he discovered that those people nearest him were regarding the pair of them very very fondly. It took every single ounce of his Aussie brashness to face them down - and even that didn't seem to dent their affection, not one little bit.

Late that afternoon Nicholas lay stretched out on their bed, unwinding and cooling down. They had all the windows open so the room was full of fresh air, and Nicholas lay there in just his jeans and a t-shirt. Dave sat beside him, up against the headboard, simply idling away the time. They weren't touching, for the sake of Nicholas not wanting any of Dave's body heat, but that didn't mean they weren't close.

Eventually, once Nicholas seemed to have reached something more like his usual happy demeanour, Dave asked, "D'you want to have a nap? I'll get out of your way, if you like."

"Maybe," said Nicholas, "and only if you want to."

"All right." After a moment, Dave said, "D'you want to tell me about the thing with the visa? If we get that sorted, then maybe you'll feel better."

A long quiet peace stretched, though it was clear to Dave that Nicholas hadn't slipped away into sleep. Eventually Nicholas said, "It's about my health. I guess I'd read it before, but it hadn't quite sunk in."

"What about it?"

"It's a serious condition, David. They're not going to like it. They might refuse me the visa."

Dave took a moment with that, then asked, "On what grounds? It's not like it's catching or anything. It's not like you're endangering anyone."

"No, it's about the fact that at some point - maybe not for years, decades - I'll probably need surgery. Brain surgery."

"So … ?"

Nicholas threw him a frustrated look. "It's the cost and resources involved. Why would they want to take me on? I can't even promise to pay my way in the meantime, unless I get really lucky with the right kind of work."

"Ah." Dave thought about all of that, though the answer seemed clear to him.

"I guess …" said Nicholas very slowly, "I could have the operation done here. Before we go."

"No!" cried Dave, his heart thudding painfully.

"But then it's not such an issue," Nicholas doggedly continued. "Of course, things could still go wrong later, but at least I'll have done what I can in the meantime."

"No," Dave firmly replied. "The risks aren't worth it.

There's no point in you going through something so serious."

"There is a point if it means I can be with you."

Dave shifted down onto the bed and turned towards Nicholas. "I've got a much better idea, anyway."

Nicholas reached to take his hand. "What's that, then?"

"We don't rely on Medicare. That's like the NHS here - and that's where the cost to the government comes in, right?"

"Oh! Of course!"

"We'll take care of ourselves. We buy private health insurance, whatever it takes. It's not like we can't afford it - and then there's no financial risk involved to anyone else. Problem solved. Right?"

"Right," said Nicholas with a watery smile. "God, you're amazing!"

"Not too shabby, I guess."

"I just - I didn't think of that. Of course I already have health insurance as part of the family policy, and it covers me worldwide. I checked that before the trip. God! Why didn't I add that up myself?"

Dave smiled, and offered somewhat lamely, "Two heads are better than one."

"I am definitely better with you," Nicholas fervently replied - and he turned in against Dave, and Dave held him, cradled him for a while. Dave's shirt got suspiciously damp where Nicholas pressed his face against it, but then Nicholas finally drifted off into a restful sleep, and when he woke again he was his own best self.

Dave kind of adored Nicholas's blog entry for that day.

The Real Thing

I
t's true love. When Stef offered to buy David a Foster's at lunch today, David refrained from violence and didn't even swear, but only politely replied that he'd have what I was having. All for the sake of not causing an irreconcilable rift with his new partner's old friends. It was remarkable.

Having quizzed David about the 
significance of all this, we decided that offering a Queenslander a Foster's was equivalent to putting Coca Cola in a Scot's whisky. So, you see how very remarkable this is…

True blue love, I tell you. Fair dinkum, mate.

five

'Yes, I'm all yours,'
Dave had said to Nicholas on the first day he'd arrived in England - and in front of Nicholas's entire family as witnesses, not to mention their loyal retainers as well. There was many a time over the following weeks when Dave wished that had been all it took to be married. And of course in many ways - at least for the two of them - that had indeed been the moment in which they'd really committed themselves. That was never in question. Later on he'd followed that up with, '
For you, I'd even give up Australia.
' There was no doubt about Dave-and-Nicholas. The problem was all the other stuff that went on and inexorably on.

After the first couple of weeks which seemed plagued by upsets, Nicholas had - thank God - regained his equilibrium and dived into the wedding preparations with his usual cheerfulness. But he wanted the ceremony and reception to be absolutely perfect, which was pressure enough, never mind the business surrounding Nicholas's move to Australia and the visa requirements. Never mind him saying goodbye to his father and the rest of his family. And Nicholas had never been good at farewells.

One of the things Nicholas was good at was gifts. Within about a week and a half of Dave's arrival in England, Nicholas presented him with a new Kindle device on which was loaded all the Patrick O'Brian books. Given that Dave had only brought a couple of the paperbacks with him, he felt almost overwhelmed with gratitude. Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin had been his constant companions for so long, and their adventures provided inspiration or a failsafe refuge whenever needed. Right now, there was plenty to be doing and helping Nicholas with, and of course hanging out with Nicholas was always a good thing. But there was no denying that wedding plans and visa applications weren't quite as involving as planning and leading a trip in Australia's Outback. And there were times when Dave - so used to living on his own - needed an escape into the more solitary pleasures of reading.

As September turned into October, the level of activity in the house and its surrounds heightened. Mrs Gilchrist was responsible for the catering at the reception and was baking fruit cakes and accumulating crockery at an alarming rate; Frank was responsible for the cars they'd use and was also helping the head gardener add what seemed like hundreds of new plants to the flowerbeds so they looked as lush as possible; Simon was assisting Nicholas with the logistics. As the only surviving parent of either of them, Richard was taking his role as host - and as father or stand-in father of the grooms - with great gravity. New morning suits were being made and fitted by a tailor in Beaconsfield, but that was the province of Nicholas and Robert - apparently Dave and Nicholas weren't to see each other's outfits until the day of the wedding itself, despite Nicholas's nervousness about what Denise was organising for the Australian half of the wedding party.

"You can trust her," said Dave. "She knows far more about these things than I do. And I have to say she looked
great
when she married Vittorio." Denise in a simple elegant white wedding dress with her long blonde hair done up in a casual twist had been a revelation … Dave's heart had broken all over again.

"I have complete faith in her," Nicholas said - though his long pale fingers skittered away as if daring to disagree. "I loved her ideas. I honestly did."

"I believe you!" Dave asserted.

"Yes, I know," Nicholas replied rather miserably. "Thousands wouldn't."

Despite Dave not having any direct responsibilities other than being Nicholas's mainstay and willing assistant in all things, the stresses must have started to show. One evening, Richard happened upon Dave as he came down the main stairs into the hall, and took the opportunity to invite him into the study, the room where all the family photos were hanging on a wall. "Nothing to be alarmed about," Richard assured him as he took a seat in one of the leather armchairs - Dave had discovered that there were comfortable armchairs in just about every room in the house! The earl gestured an invitation for Dave to sit opposite him. "I was simply concerned for you, David."

"For me?" he blurted in surprise. "I'm all right."

Richard nodded as if genially agreeing. "You've been here a couple of months now, and I feel we've come to know something of you. David, it's clear that you're exactly the sort of fine, responsible young man any parent would wish for a son-in-law."

"Oh. Oh, well. Thanks." Dave was blushing again. Which was one thing he'd be glad to see the back of once he and Nicholas were married and it was all settled and accepted and
done
.

"I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable, but I want you to know how pleased and proud we all are."

"Thanks," said Dave again rather lamely. He tried not to squirm.

Luckily Richard started talking about Nicholas instead. "Of course Nicholas is determined to live his life, and with good reason. He's an inspiration to us all, really. He sets the example for how to approach life."

"Yes."

"And we hope - we
fervently
hope - that it will all come to nothing, and Nicholas will outlive his own generation as well as mine."

"Yes," Dave agreed, though in rather muted tones.

"In the meantime, however, it's true that Nicholas … has a tendency to sweep all before him in his enthusiasms."

And Richard left a pause.

Eventually Dave offered, "But with what Nicholas is facing … I think seizing the day is the only answer. He's brave enough to do that."

"Yes, he's almost always faced this with courage - but he's been braver still since he met you, David. I was afraid he'd never quite let himself really love someone."

Dave couldn't possibly respond to that, but he stored it away for future comfort and somehow managed to sail blithely on. "It's like you said, seizing the day is something we should all do, really. Make the most of what time we have."

Richard nodded, but continued, "I am … only concerned, David, that you may have been swept up in something that you possibly now … regret."

"Regret?" he exclaimed, frowning at the man. "No, I'm not sorry about being with Nicholas. Are you?" he added, perhaps a bit too belligerently. "I mean, are you sorry I'm with him?" Dave clarified in more reasonable tones.

"Not at all - though we shall miss him a great deal when you are living on the other side of the world. We will miss both of you."

"I'm - "

Richard lifted a hand to stall whatever Dave had been going to say. "I realise that's what you both must do. No, what I was trying to say was that it's a significant burden to take on - a partner, a husband who might not live to see your first anniversary."

Dave swallowed hard at the thought, but of course he'd faced this already. He'd faced it for Nicholas, and he'd faced it in all kinds of other ways, too. "We all live with that, though, don't we?" he said. "Like you said, Nicholas might outlive me. If he doesn't - Well, my mother died when I was young, and my father not so long ago. Any trip I take into the Outback might be my last, no matter how careful I am. We all live with death, Richard. Nicholas already knows what the only answer to that is. Sometimes I - Well, there have been times I needed to be reminded of that." He took a breath, and firmly concluded, "I don't have any regrets, Richard. I'm grateful. With Nicholas around, I'm never going to forget again - I'll never forget to
live
."

It seemed that Richard was moved, and he needed a long moment before he could be sure of his voice. Eventually he said, very very lightly, "I once asked Nicholas how he knew you were the man for him. Do you know what he said?"

"No. Actually, I don't." Dave cringed a little inside, just in case.

"He said that right from the day you first met, he felt utterly
safe
with you."

"Oh." That wasn't so bad. Dave relaxed again.