Off the Record (9 page)

“Rise and shine. Time to get up.”

I bolt upright in bed, holding my covers to my chest while Linc Caldwell stands inside my bedroom. I don’t have my contacts in and he’s a little blurry on around the edges, but he radiates sex appeal nonetheless. That I can see well enough. And it doesn’t help that he woke me up out of a sound sleep where I had just happened to be dreaming about the infuriatingly, sexy man. In a very naughty way.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” I hope my anger diffuses the lingering feelings of lust I was feeling and glad my first conscious reaction was to pull the blanket up. I’m sure my nipples are as hard as rocks right now.

With disgusting cheerfulness, he says, “We got places to go, people to see. Get up and get dressed. Breakfast is in ten minutes.”

I glance at the clock on the table beside me. It’s freakin’ 6:30am. 

Stifling a yawn, I ask, “What could you possibly need to do this early in the morning? Aren’t you like on vacation until hockey starts back up?”

He rolls his eyes at me. “You clearly know nothing about professional hockey. Come get some breakfast and I’ll go over my schedule with you.”

Linc walks out, shutting the door behind him.

I lay back on my pillow and briefly consider going back to sleep. Despite the lovely dream I had been having just a few minutes ago, I had tossed and turned all night, replaying over and over in my head everything that has happened to me in the last few days. I’m heartsick that I lost the L.A. assignment. I want to be pissed at Linc for getting me in this situation, but I can’t ignore the fact that the article I wrote got me in this situation. Linc may be a slime ball but he didn’t make me write that story. And while it was an opinion piece, I may have stretched the truth a bit and I certainly disregarded his wishes about keeping the shoe story off the record.

And the guilt from that is actually starting to really weigh on me. How could I possibly want to be a legitimate journalist if I stretch my ethics just because some guy got my panties in a twist? It was beyond reprehensible and I’m feeling very low about myself.

I think about my mother. My dear, sweet, sweet mom. She’s a miracle of life and my inspiration. She’s been in remission from breast cancer for close to five years now. She’s had her body brutalized by chemo and radiation. She’s had her breasts removed. She faces the uncertainty that death may be around the corner, and yet she refuses to let any of that get her down.

As a true southern woman, her favorite saying is, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” I close my eyes and try to hear her voice saying that right now but it won’t come to me, and I so desperately need to hear her right now.

Rolling over, I grab my phone from my purse sitting beside the bed. I dial her number, hoping it’s not too early to call.

“Hello, Buttercup.” My mother’s voice is soft and sweet, with a lovely Carolina lilt.

“Hi, Mom. Did I wake you?”

“You did, but I can’t think of a lovelier way to wake up. How are you doing, sweetheart?”

Just her voice infuses me with peace. “I’m fine.” I hesitate, not wanting to dump on her.

“No, you’re not. I can hear it in your voice. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

And that’s all it takes. I pour everything out, starting from when Marc picked up the engagement ring until Linc woke me up a few minutes ago.

“Oh, honey. You have a lot on your plate right now, don’t you?”

“That’s an understatement. I lost out on a huge career opportunity all because I let my anger get the best of me. Now I’m stuck having to follow this frustrating man around. And I’m feeling guilty for what I did on top of everything.”

“Well, I’m going to give you mom advice now. When—”

“Don’t give me the lemonade speech, Mom.”

She laughs on the other end and just that sound makes me smile like a mega-watt bulb. “I wasn’t going to say that, smart butt. I was going to say that when things happen that we don’t expect, and when situations seem crazy and out of control, sometimes you need to just sit back and enjoy the experience. Some of life’s greatest lessons will come from those times.”

Seriously? I want to roll my eyes at such simple guidance but could I really gain something from this experience? It’s not anything I would have ever thought on my own but my mother’s sage wisdom is always something I take to heart.

“Maybe you’re right, Mom. And thanks for listening to me. You always seem to know just what to say to motivate me.”

“You don’t need my help with motivation, honey. You just sometimes need a little perspective.”

We chat for a few more minutes but before we hang up, my mom sours my mood just a little.

“Have you talked to your dad?”

“No. Why?”

“He’s called here. Said he’s been trying to reach you for a few weeks. He’s just worried.”

I mentally roll my eyes. My dad worried?  Puh-leeze. The only one my dad worries about is himself.

“I’ve been busy,” I say.

I can hear her sigh on the other end. She knows there is no hope of getting me to warm to my father. “Ever...just remember, he’s your father. The only one you’ve got.”

I answer her sigh with one of my own. I’ve heard that line from her a million times. And she’s heard what I’m getting ready to say. “Mom, just let this one be, okay? Dad lost his right to worry about me when he abandoned us.”

“Okay, sweetie. I’ll let it go. Now you go hit the ground running and show that Linc Caldwell what you’re made of.”

After I hang up with my mom, I jump out of bed and pull on a robe. She’s made me feel infinitely better about my situation. I need to treat this like the job it’s supposed to be. It’s my personal belief that Linc will probably end up ultimately being the player I think him to be, but I won’t know until I get a chance to observe him.

I briefly think about running a brush through my hair but I could care less what I look like. I’m not trying to impress Linc. He’s the one that needs to impress me. I don’t have time to put my contacts in so I reach into my purse and put on my glasses. Might as well nerd it up all the way.

I find him in the kitchen, working a juicer. With my glasses on, I can see him much clearer which only amps up the aforementioned sex appeal. He’s wearing a pair of black workout shorts and a gray t-shirt. It’s hard not to notice how the t-shirt pulls tight across the broad expanse of his shoulders. His muscles writhe under the cotton material as he adds apples and what looks like spinach to the machine.

Gross!

“Please tell me you have coffee,” I say.

He looks over his shoulder at me briefly, and then just inclines his head to the coffee pot on the counter. “Cups are above the pot.”

I walk over to the cupboard and open it up. The cups are on the third shelf up and I stand on my tip-toes to reach one. I can just barely brush my fingertips across the edge of a cup, but only succeed in pushing it further out of my reach. Before I can even ask for help, Linc is at my back, reaching over me to grab the cup.

Involuntarily, my body goes tense from his nearness. He’s not touching me in anyway, but I can feel his entire body just inches from mine. And the prickling awareness I have of him does not bode well. I had been trying hard not to think of his insane attractiveness since I wrote the article, and now I’m suddenly hyper-aware of him.

He hands me the cup and murmurs near my ear, “Here you go, shrimp.”

The shrimp comment is his way of teasing me, but the nearness of his lips to my ear makes me shiver slightly. I mutter a grumpy thanks because I’m pissed over how my body reacts to this man. Linc doesn’t respond but goes back to his juicer. Sipping on my coffee, I watch him add more spinach and apples. When he finally has a full glass of green, slimy liquid, he picks it up and hands it to me.

“Here’s breakfast. Drink up.”

I look at the glass of juice in his hand and then back to him. “No, thanks. It looks disgusting.”

“How do you know until you try it?”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Just take a sip. Quit being a baby.”

I cock an eyebrow at him skeptically but he probably can’t see it behind the frames of my glasses. He continues holding the glass out and the look on his face is challenging. “Fine.”

I take juice and sniff it. It smells just like apples and spinach. I take a small sip. “Ugh. That’s awful.”

He laughs and takes the glass from me. “I don’t like it either, but I have to drink it.” He takes a large gulp and grimaces.

“If you don’t like it, why do you drink it?”

“Because my personal trainer tells me to. And I pay him a lot of money to make sure I’m playing at peak performance.”

“So, is that my only chance at breakfast? Or do you at least have some cereal I can beg?”

“Nope. I’m going to make us egg white omelets. Will that work?”

“Sounds delicious. Can I help?”

“I’m good. You can just perch over on that stool and watch me work. I’m a master in the kitchen.”

I smile as he dramatically cracks his knuckles before pulling the ingredients out of the fridge. It’s easy to get lulled back in by his charm and I have to caution myself that he may be hamming it up a bit so that I write a great article about him. I’ll need to clean off the rose color on my glasses to make sure that I truly see the real Linc Caldwell. And if he is hamming it up, he won’t be able to keep that act up the entire six weeks. I’ll catch the truth eventually.

“You look hot in those glasses, by the way.”

My eyes snap to his, looking for a lie in there. He’s staring at me with warm honesty and my heart stutters, like a race horse’s hooves on a muddy track. “Pardon me?”

“I said you look hot in those glasses. You look sexy-smart. A killer combination.”

“Don’t fuck around with me, Linc. I’m not falling for your lines.” I’m pissed at myself that his words affected me and I’m pissed at him for trying to affect me.

He shrugs his shoulders at me as he separates the eggs. “It’s not a line because I don’t expect anything in return. It’s the truth of what I’m thinking right now. I tend to say what’s on my mind.”

His compliment should warm me, particularly because I’m sure I look less than stellar right now. Instead, all I can think is that he probably uses similar lines on all the women he comes in contact with. Unfortunately, I tend to say what’s on my mind too.

“Did you say something sweet like that to the woman that gave you a blow job Friday night?”

Linc looks up from the eggs and his eyes are hard. I swallow nervously.

“I told you that I did not get a blow job from one of those women Friday night.” He steps around the counter and walks up to me, leaning his face down close to mine so he can look directly in my eyes. His voice is low and deliberate. “But I did fuck that woman you saw me with in my bedroom, and I fucked her hard and more than once. That’s after I got her off with my hand. You remember that part, don’t you? Now, that’s the truth.”

He stares at me for just a few seconds then walks back to his eggs. But he’s not finished with me.

His voice is no less deliberate but the physical distance that is back between us makes the words sound colder. “And you can look at me all you want with contempt, but I don’t apologize for who I am. You have no right to judge me or my sex life. I will share this with you now, and then I’m done talking about it. I do not randomly hook up with a lot of women, but I do hook up with some. I’m a single guy. It’s what we do. But I’m safe, and I’m cautious as to who I’m with, and I’m damn selective. If you have a problem with that, fine...write about it. But don’t paint a picture of me that’s inaccurate.”

He finishes and stares at me to ensure that I am comprehending what he is saying. I’m stunned by his speech. I don’t know if it’s his words, or his tone of voice, or hell, maybe it’s the fact that he admitted to fucking that woman...hard, but for some reason I believe he is being completely transparent with me now. Linc isn’t trying to make me believe he’s a saint. He’s admitting to me that he’s not.

I’m starting to think I may have judged him too harshly. Reluctantly, I have to admit it’s becoming clear to me that the one woman who claimed she gave him a blow job was lying. It’s also clear to me that the woman I saw him with probably had the time of her life and there’s a small part of me that wonders what it would be like to be on the receiving end of Linc Caldwell’s hands.

It’s now my turn for a bit of honesty...and humility.

“I’m sorry. It’s just...Friday night, you had asked me out, but then within a few hours of me turning you down, I was under the
mistaken
impression that you were sexually involved with two other women that same night. It made me think the worst of you.”

Linc doesn’t say anything at first, whisking the eggs with a fork. When he finishes, he sets the fork aside and looks at me. “Just so you know, had you accepted my dinner invitation, I would not have hooked up with that woman. I’m pretty singular in my pursuits. But that’s something we’ll never know, will we?”

My jaw drops just a little. He sounds so genuine and coming on the heels of his honest confession just a few minutes ago, I want to believe him. However, my internal instincts—the ones that are used to me getting screwed over by men—are yelling at me to be wary of his words.