Official Girl 4 (19 page)

“It’s okay Mykell, this won’t be the last time you see me,” she laughed.

              After we left the mall, we headed straight for the house because Neicey’s feet were swollen and hurting and Chyanne’s back was hurting. Dealing with two pregnant women at one time almost drove me crazy. When we got to the house, Neicey went straight for the stairs to lie down while I waited for MJ to come back with his brothers and sister.

             
Tired of playing the waiting game, I went upstairs to find Neicey standing in the full body mirror looking over herself. She kept rubbing her hands over the little scar from the bullet wound where she got shot. I walked up behind her, rubbing her stomach and she just stared at me through the mirror.

             
“Baby, I’m sorry, I should have never put my hands on you but I let my anger get the best of me when you tried to say this wasn’t my daughter, and even though I know you were just trying to hurt me, you didn’t deserve to be hit.” I kissed her neck. She didn’t say anything but kept staring at me, I don’t know why but for some reason I felt like I was losing her.

             
“All I want to know is, do you have feelings for that nigga?”  I asked.

             
She nodded her head, “Of course I
had
feelings for him. If I didn’t I would have never brought him around my kids or my family.”

             
“Okay, but why didn’t you cut him off when you found out about him being hired to kill you and when he shot you?”

             
“I did,” she said.

             
“But then you let him come back in. You kept him around.”

             
“Did I not keep
you
around and let
you
come back in when you cheated on me with Kya?”

             
“That’s different though, Reneice and you know it,” I protested.

             
“How so? Both of you did some shit to me to hurt me, but I forgave both of y’all and let you stay in my life, and in his defense he didn’t mean to shoot me. That bullet was meant for you,” she said while walking away.

I felt myself getting angry
. “So now you’re going to take up for the nigga?”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me.
“Really Mykell? Just ask me what you really want to ask me and stop beating around the damn bush! You want to know if I love him and if I want to be with him? I have love for him but I’m far from being in love with him. I’m in love with you! I married you! I’m where I want to be, Mykell. If I wanted to be with him, I would have never got back with you,” she yelled.

“Alright, I believe you
,” I simply said.

“You don’t have a damn choice.” She
lay on the bed.

I sat on the end
of the bed and took her right foot into my hand and started rubbing it. It was swollen as fuck, I felt sorry for her because they didn’t even look normal.

“Baby
, you know how a while back I said we should go see a marriage counselor?” I asked.

             
“Mykell, unless you’re thinking about divorcing me, I am not going to no damn marriage counselor,” she said, giving me the evil eye.

             
“Alright but let me ask you this…Do you trust me?”

             
She looked at me for a minute before speaking. “It’s getting better. Well, it was until you started staying out longer than you need to, but even with that, my woman’s intuition isn’t telling me that you’re having an affair,” she answered honestly.

             
“Why did you marry me if you don’t trust me?” I wanted to know what’s going on in her head and in her heart. She hates talking to me about her problems because she would rather run.

             
“I said I didn’t trust you, as in once upon a time, and honestly, because I’m used to being hurt by the people I trust.” She shrugged.

             
“What you mean? Care to elaborate?” I asked, moving to my left foot.

             
“It’s like this, since I was eleven years old, I have been getting hurt by people I love and trust. My mommy died and left me when I was 11, my brother got locked up when I needed him the most, I didn’t meet my daddy until I was twenty years old because I thought he was a deadbeat, I found out somebody I trusted and confided in was in on a plan to kill me and tried to send my husband away for life, and you, you cheated on me when all I wanted was to be loved and be happy for once,” she said, wiping her tears away.

             
I just sat there dumbfounded for a moment because I never looked at it like that. Then on top of all that, she was raped twice, shot, beaten, and had a miscarriage. Now I realize that all she wanted from me was to love her and make her a happy woman and my dumb ass fucked all that up in the beginning.

             
“Are you happy now? I mean with me?”

             
She laughed, “Mykell how many times do I have to tell you that I’m where I want to be? If I wasn’t happy, you know I would not still be here. Yes, we have fights and arguments, but please tell me what one relationship doesn’t?”

             
“I love you.”

             
“You better,” she joked.

             
For some reason today, Chyanne had been avoiding me. When she saw me coming down the hall, she would hurry up and walk the other way. I sent her five texts and she wouldn’t return any of them. When lunch time came around, I went looking for her, only to find her in the hallway with DeAndre; her ex and my number one enemy. They didn’t see me coming, but I could hear what they were talking about as I got closer.

             
“I don’t know why you still mess with his little ass Chy baby. I told you Vanessa was talking about how he came to see her Saturday and you know how she get down.”

             
“Okay, what do you want me to do? I’m pregnant as hell so I can’t beat her ass like I want to, plus I don’t even think me and him are together anyways; so he can do what he wanna do.” She shrugged.

             
“Fuck that nigga, you just making excuses to justify what he did. Ain’t that why you broke up with me? You know that’s supposed to be my baby you carrying,” he said, touching her stomach.

             
“Bitch, you better move yo hand off my girl and my daughter,” I said, making my presence known.

             
“What are you doing out here, MJ?” Chyanne asked.

             
“What the hell you think? I know you seen me texting you so don’t play,” I was talking to her but my eyes never left DeAndre.

             
“Ay lil dude, grown folks are out here trying to have a conversation. You should learn how to stay in a child’s place.”

             
“What nigga?” I said, walking up on him, only for Chyanne to grab my arm and pull me back.

             
“Dre leave him the hell alone, you always want to start some shit. Let’s go MJ.”

             
“Whatever Chyanne, you know where home at, so I’m not worried. You were mines for two years before you started playing with little boys. You know I don’t have a problem playing daddy.” He laughed.

             
And that’s when I snapped. I pulled my arm out of Chyanne’s grasp and went to him. I punched that bitch right in his jaw and kept following up with blows. I blacked out and fucked his shit up until I heard Chyanne let out a scream that I had never heard before. I snapped out of it and looked at her to see her holding her stomach with her jeans getting soaked with blood. I fucking panicked.

             
The next thing I knew, I was driving behind the ambulance while on the phone with my dad. “Dad, it was so much blood. She’s six months pregnant and I don’t know what I would do if she loses my daughter.” I wiped my tears away.

             
“Calm down MJ, don’t think the worst. Everything will be alright, that baby is a Jones so you know she’s a fighter, her and Chyanne.”

             
“I know, I just feel like shit,” I said, pulling into the hospital and throwing my car in park.

             
“We’re five minutes from the hospital. I’ll see you when we get there,” my dad said before hanging up.

             
I tried to go back there with Chyanne but they wouldn’t let me. I paced the floor back and forth so fast it was making me dizzy. A few minutes later, my dad came running through the doors while my mom waddled. I looked up at her and kind of laughed to myself because she was as big as a house and walking like a penguin.

             
“Don’t be laughing at me, boy.” She hit my arm. “Now what’s going on and why I get a call talking about you’re suspended for fighting? Never mind, that’s not important right now.”

             
“I think I fucked up Ma, I really do,” I said trying not to break down.

             
I usually don’t cry, not even when I found out that my birth mother was dead. Hell, the bitch never did anything for me anyway. She was a fucking crack head that put niggas before me. But this shit had me ready to have a damn nervous breakdown.

             
My mom took me into her arms and rubbed my back. “It’s not your fault Mykell Jr. Do you hear me? None of this is your fault. We’re not sure what happened with Chyanne, but I don’t want you blaming yourself.”

             
See, this is exactly why I’m happy my dad decided to get it together and marry my mom. She’s so gentle, loving and caring. I’m not sure that he would have found anybody else as perfect as her. She knows what to say, when to say it and how to say it.

             
We sat there for over an hour before the doctor final came out. By that time, Uncle Lakey and LaLa showed up.

             
“Family of Chyanne Williams,” he announced.

             
I was the first one to jump up. “How’s my girl and daughter, sir?” I asked.

             
“Well, son, Ms. Williams is a little tired and sore. She had a tear in her uterus which was the cause for the bleeding. We had to take the baby right away if we wanted her to have a chance for survival. She weighs 2lbs even and she’s currently in the NICU.”

             
“So she could make it? Being premature and everything? Can I see her?” I asked.

             
“I have no doubts that she could make it but she would have to stay here until she is healthy enough to come home. I’m pretty sure you know there are a lot of complications that can come with being a premature baby. But we’ll discuss that later, let’s go see your daughter.”

He
took me to this room where I had to wash my hands and put on scrubs. She was in this tube looking bed and had lots of tubes coming out of her. I wanted to touch her but I didn’t want to hurt her because she was so little. She was about the size of my hand.

             
“Hey Mikyah, it’s daddy. I know you’re a fighter, baby girl, so just be strong for me and your mommy. I know we kept saying we were excited to meet you but I didn’t expect for you to come early,” I slightly chuckled. “You have to get better so you can come home. Your nana and papa are already talking about spoiling you. Oh, and MyMy was already calling you her baby so you have to get better so your auntie can see you.”              I watched as her little chest slightly moved up and down. I was starting to get emotional and wanted to cry again. “I love you princess and I’ll be here to see you every day after school. I guess you were an early birthday present huh? Well, you’re the best present I could ever ask for.” I smiled at her one more time before blowing her a kiss and leaving the room.

             
“I failed her already, Mama. I couldn’t even do the right thing and let my baby be born healthy,” I cried.

             
Mama Neicey came over to my bed and rubbed my hand while leaning down to kiss my cheek. I felt like shit. I had failed my daughter already. I’m not fit to be anybody’s mother. Hell, I should have known that because my own mother wasn’t a fit mother.

             
“Chyanne look at me, you did not fail her. I’m going to tell you like I told MJ, none of this is your fault, alright? Your body had a mind of its own and you could not control what was going on. That baby is going to be alright and in a couple of months we will be taking her home.” She smiled at me.

             
MJ came into the room and I broke down all over again. “I’m sorry, MJ, I’m so sorry,” I cried.

             
Mama Neicey moved away so MJ could come by the bed. He leaned down and hugged me tightly. “You don’t have to be sorry Chy Chy. Our princess is here and breathing and that’s all that matters. We have to be strong for each other in order for us to be strong for her. She’ll make it, so don’t even worry yourself about all that.”