Offside (15 page)

The clock read 5:03 a.m. when Zach heard the floorboards creak. He stared up at the ceiling, listening to the soft sound of the front door opening, then clicking shut. Sleep weighed on him, dragging him down for a few more hours’ rest.

With no regrets.

S
weat soaked the sheets and cold beads clung to Dominik’s skin as he rolled over, opening his eyes wide, welcoming the sun that sliced across his bed through the part in his bedroom curtains. Daylight was a goddamn blessing. He couldn’t stand the dream anymore, the same one that came every night, where Oriana passed him in the halls of the forum without any recognition in her eyes, the back of the white practice jersey she wore shredded and soaked with blood.

Sloan would never hurt her that badly. Dominik knew that. As much as he hated the whip drawing even a trickle of blood, Sloan did know what he was doing. He was also
much
better at first aid than he was at aftercare.

The other part of the dream disturbed him almost as much as the blood. Oriana hurt and not coming to him. Not
seeing
that he was still there for her. How long would it take before they became virtual strangers? Weeks? Months? At what point would they look at each other and realize they had nothing but memories?

Groaning, Dominik shoved off the bed, then went to take a quick shower. Oriana and Max were both in Oriana’s room, where they typically spent the night. Where Dominik would have spent the night if things were different.

They aren’t. You know exactly how this will end.

There was no point in dragging this out. Every single day, he felt things changing. Sloan was already gone, but that wasn’t really new. As he’d gained confidence as a Dom, he’d asked for Dominik’s advice less and less. Then not at all. He shut down when Dominik . . . fuck, there was no other word to use besides lectured. About aftercare. About not distancing himself when his own urges scared him. The more Dominik talked, the less Sloan wanted to listen. They didn’t gel at home like they did on the ice.

And now that Sloan might never play again, they didn’t even have that. All they had was Oriana. And Max. But Max was an honest, loyal man. He loved Sloan like a brother. Maybe more. If it came to a choice between Sloan and Dominik . . .

Dominik wouldn’t force him to make that choice. Wouldn’t force Oriana. If she’d given any impression that she still needed him, he would have fought harder, but . . . it was clear her future was with Max and Sloan. She still wore his collar, yet, for some reason, when she fingered the leather resting against her throat, he had a feeling it was more for sentiment than security. The meaning behind it was gone.

Maybe it had never been there. He now saw the collar like a child’s training wheels, something that had eased Oriana into the lifestyle, given her the strength to find her own balance. It hadn’t been that way when they’d gone through the ceremony, but no one could have predicted how much things would change.

He grabbed a protein bar from the kitchen cupboard and headed for the door. He should have known. Sloan was one of his students. How could a lover they shared be anything other than temporary? How could he have looked at Oriana as a woman who belonged to him, even a little?

But she does! She always will!

No. Maybe he still had a small part of her heart. But not enough.

“Want me to make you something?”

Her voice . . . his throat locked, and it took all his strength to turn and face her without tears in his eyes. She stood there in one of Max’s T-shirts, all lovely curves, bare feet, and rumpled hair. He laughed as he tossed the wrapper of the protein bar in the trash. “I hope I didn’t wake you up? I’m going to meet my brother at the gym.”

“You have to eat more than that.”

“You don’t have to take care of me anymore, Oriana.” He moved away from the kitchen counter and cupped her cheek so she wouldn’t be hurt by his words. Still, they had to deal with this. “You know that.”

“But . . .” Her hand went to her bare throat out of habit and her eyes widened, as though she’d expected his collar to be there, as it had been for so long. As it had been the night before. With a lock only he had the key for. Max must have cut it off for her. But why? “Dominik, I still love you. This is . . . hard. I’m still looking for a way to make this work for all of us. But it can’t, can it?”

He tore his gaze away from where her hand rested against her neck. “I would have given you the key, sweetheart. All you had to do was ask.”

“I couldn’t.”

Max might has well have taken those metal cutters to Dominik’s chest. Because he wouldn’t have used them unless Oriana asked him to. He could feel them snapping their razor-edge deep even now. Making raw meat of all the fragile bits within. Like his heart.

“You’ll come tonight, won’t you? I need . . .” Oriana blinked fast as she backed into the counter. “I need you there. Because I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.”

“What do you have for you when you go, Oriana? Besides Sloan and Max?”

“The team doctor in Calgary offered me an internship. And if not him, there are sports therapists that talked to me about working with them. Someone must really want Sloan, because I’ve been offered scholarships—”

“You’ll have everything you need.”

“Except the team, and . . .”

And me?
He automatically added the words, but he really wasn’t sure she would have said them. Nothing but wishful thinking. Which he should be past at this point. Her little gestures showed him she was still hanging on, but not in a way that would do either of them any good.

“Not ‘buts,’ pet. Put how big this will be for Sloan aside. You won’t have to deal with your father anymore. You’ll be free to live your own life. Don’t let anyone hold you back.”

“You never held me back, Dominik.”

“Yes, I did. Sweetheart, you have something special with Sloan—something I haven’t accepted as well as I should have. I’ve been trying to protect you from him. Negotiating limits that you need to set.” He shook his head. “Sloan resents me, and I can’t really blame him. You’ve been using me as a crutch, and that’s not a relationship.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“I know you didn’t.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. Fuck, he just wanted to hold her. Tell her he’d fix everything. Except . . . doing that was what had brought them to this. “Oriana, I want you to be happy. You’re not happy here.”

She inhaled roughly, then exhaled, nodding slowly. “You’re right. But it’s not because of you. It’s . . . everything. I need to figure things out. And anyway, nothing’s set in stone yet. We’re just going to explore our options.”

“I know.”
I also know you’re not coming back. Not to me.
He eased his hands from his pockets, then went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, doing his best to sound casual when he spoke again. “Give me a call when you’re leaving, okay?”

“But . . .” She came up behind him and put her hand on his forearm. “You’re coming to see us off, right?”

He bent over to kiss her forehead, his tone only a little gruff. He took a big gulp of water. Cleared his throat. “I’ll be there.”

On the porch, the door closed tight behind him, Dominik stood and looked out at the clear blue sky, letting his eyes drift shut as the sun’s rays tipped over the low roofs of the bungalows across the street. The summer warmth caressed him but didn’t touch the cold numbness that made him feel dead inside. He drew in a shaky breath and forced himself to walk down the steps. To unlock his car and get in. His brother, Cameron, was waiting for him. Had come all the way down to Dartmouth because he needed a fresh start.

His timing was perfect.

As he started the engine, a soft rap on the window brought his head up. He opened the door and leaned back. “What is it, Max?”

Max looked toward the house, raking his fingers through his overgrown, beach-boy-blond hair. His bright blue eyes had taken on a shadowy cast. His throat worked as he swallowed. “I just wanted to tell you . . . fuck, man, don’t come tonight. Oriana will understand. This is hard enough for the both of you, and we still don’t know if—”

“I’m coming to say goodbye. Because it will be goodbye, Max. We both know that.”

“It don’t have to be. We could try—” Max cut himself off and shook his head, holding up one hand. “Naw, don’t bother. We’ve tried it all, haven’t we?”

“Yes.”

“Then there’s really nothin’ else to say.” Max’s jaw clenched. His hand shook as he reached out to grip Dominik’s over the steering wheel. “Shit, I didn’t realize it would be this hard. I’m gonna miss you. We had it good for a while.”

“We did.” Dominik turned his hand, fisting it around Max’s. His throat tightened. Nothing would be as hard as saying goodbye to Oriana, but saying goodbye to Max came close. He’d never known a man like him. He grinned as he pictured Max, flopping onto the bed over him before an early morning practice, pulling him into a choke hold, laughing as Dominik snarled and did his best to toss the insanely chipper man over the side of the bed. They’d wrestle until Oriana came in with coffee and pronounced a winner. One morning, when Max had come in, Dominik was already up. On the phone with his sister who was panicking because their older brother, Joshua, was MIA. He was in the Air Force, and his plane had to make an emergency landing in hostile territory.

Oriana’s father wasn’t doing well, so it was Max who had taken the trip home with Dominik, who had sat with him and his mother and sister while they waited for news. He’d been Dominik’s fucking rock, helping him stay strong for the women. And damn it if he had cheered the loudest when the call came to tell them Josh had been found. Alive and well.

Dominik laughed and pulled Max down for a rough, back-slapping hug. “I’m going to miss you, you crazy redneck.”

“Hey, it’s not like we’ll never see each other again!” Max grinned as he straightened. “Just keep the hatin’ on the ice when my new team kicks Cobra ass.”

Dominik chuckled. “Will do.
If
that happens. But you have to promise me something.”

Max expression changed. Utterly serious, he said, “anything.”

“Take care of her. Make sure she speaks up for herself. She needs more than Sloan is giving her.”

“I will.”

“And take care of you.”

“Right back atcha, man.” Max pressed a sloppy kiss on his cheek, then ducked away from a halfhearted punch. “You hear me though, right? I’m not really gone. Just a call away.”

“I hear you.” But Dominik would never make that call. Because Max needed to speak up for himself, too. He’d stood back too often, letting Dominik say what he couldn’t. He’d matured as a Top, could give Oriana most of what she needed in a scene, but still let Sloan take over far too easily.

They’ll work it out. Let it go.

“Tell Cam I said hi.” Max slapped the side of the car, then took a step back as Dominik pulled out. Through the rearview mirror, Dominik saw Max bow his head, nod once, then head inside. He was a good man. The kind of man Oriana deserved. And knowing Oriana had him made it a little easier for Dominik to buck up and keep going. Because she would be fine as long as she had Max.

We’ll all be fine.
The steering wheel creaked as every muscle in Dominik’s body tensed.

Just fine.

* * * *

Muscles pumping, Akira lengthened her strides, a sheen of sweat cooling her flesh as she gasped in the moist salty air that carried the tropical scent of her suntan lotion. Her lungs burned as she pushed herself to the limit, her only concern making sure Jami could keep up. A light touch on her arm surprised her, because Jami had been doing well up until now. But her cast had only recently come off.

She must be hurting. I should have—
Akira dug in her heels, laughing as Jami tried to pull her into the large gym they’d just passed. “It’s just another mile to the forum, Jami. Don’t be lazy!”

Jami rolled her eyes and jutted her thumb toward the big window. “Dominik’s here. And there’s a few of the other guys too.”

“So?” Akira jabbed her teeth into her bottom lip at Jami’s level look. Akira preferred to use the equipment in the gym at the forum rather than go to a public gym. It didn’t cost anything. And if they were lucky, they’d be the only ones there besides a couple of Ice Girl hopefuls.

“This is the perfect opportunity to get you around people. Of the masculine persuasion.”

No.
She could already see all the men inside the gym. Big men, most of them shirtless. A sight that would make most women drool, but all Akira could see was how easily any one of them could overpower her. Her blood turned to liquid ice as she imagined those big hands wrapped around her arms and legs.
I can’t—

“There’s only a couple weeks left until the cruise, hon. You need to get used to being around the guys.” Jami dropped her arm over Akira’s shoulders, giving her a little squeeze. “I won’t be with you then. I’m here now. We’ll just pop in for a few and leave the second it gets to be too much.”

It’s already too much!
Akira looked down at herself, her tiny, baby blue shorts and white tank top. Showing this much skin was just asking for trouble. Then again, her Ice Girl uniform showed just as much. And she’d be wearing a flimsy little bikini on the boat.

If you’re going to be a chickenshit about this, maybe you should get an office job.

A shudder ran through her. She’d been working part-time in her father’s office when his partners had . . . She cut off the thought, reminding herself that all the prim and proper clothes in the world wouldn’t stop a man from doing whatever he wanted to her. More importantly, she wouldn’t let
those
men destroy her dreams. If she made the team, she’d win enough money to put toward starting her own figure skating school. If she was chosen as captain of the team, she’d be set. The position came with a $100,000 prize.

No one would vote for a coward.

“All right, since Dominik’s here . . .” Akira hooked her pinky to Jami’s, giving her best friend a wry grin. “You knew he’d be here, didn’t you?”