Offside (26 page)

But
damn
could he move.

As the men came to the center of the bar area, dancing with smooth body rolls even as they undid their suit jackets, Akira hardly noticed the other people filling the room. She caught a few Cobra jerseys from the corner of her eye, but all she could do was enjoy the show. Her blood pulsed hot in her veins as the men tossed their jackets aside, then went to work removing their vests, then their shirts. Sweat glistened on their chests, running in rivulets down their tan flesh, making her mouth water. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she wanted to touch a man. Worse—or maybe better—she had the strangest urge to go straight up to Scott and lick the sweat off his skin. Smooth her hand down Shawn’s chest to feel the way his muscles undulated under her palm.

She was actually aroused. And even though she knew she wouldn’t act on it, it was awesome knowing she could feel this way again. Hadn’t that part of her died, four years ago on that office floor?

Apparently not.
Her face heated, and she giggled with Jami as the men peeled down their pants, revealing tight black shorts.

“You get to be with these guys on that boat for a week!” Jami nudged Akira’s side as she took a big sip of her drink. “Lucky bitch!”

Akira stuck out her tongue, then swallowed as the men hooked their thumbs to the waistband of their shorts. A laugh escaped her as the song ended and all four men dropped to their knees. Both she and Jami clapped. Akira drained the rest of her own drink, thanking Dominik breathlessly as he gave her a refill. She had to bite her tongue to keep from shouting, “Take it off!” The whole thing was so naughty, so unexpected. Her own reactions even more so.

Maybe I’m better.
She smiled as the other players, some with girlfriends or wives, came forward to wish her happy birthday. “Wild Out” by Dijon Talton came on, and the younger players and couples filled the dance floor. The atmosphere still wasn’t what she’d expected from this kind of club, but something about it was liberating. She watched Jami as she left her stool to join Luke, still on his knees, and Sebastian, who drew her into his arms for a long, passionate kiss. Chicklet and her female sub, Laura, went to Tyler, Laura kissing him sweetly before snapping a pair of cuffs on his wrists. The trio headed off to the sceneing area, energy and love radiating from them in a way that made Akira feel like she was standing in the shadows on a bright summer day and would only feel the warmth if she stepped out and joined them.

Not just them either. Not all the people here were kinky, but they all accepted the lifestyle. The lifestyle Akira wished she could find a way to be part of. There was nothing scary about any of it. The way Chicklet touched Tyler as she bound him to a large frame was tender. Off to the other side, Luke had a length of rope he was using to bind Jami, laughing as she teased him and wiggled out of the loose loops around her wrists. Others made their way to stations, while the rest of the crowd danced or came to the bar for a drink.

It all seemed so . . . normal. Like something she could have.

Dominik was right. It wasn’t all about sex. There was something deeper going on between the couples playing—and most of them
were
playing. Having fun.

I can do this. Any of it.
But for some reason, she needed to hear it was okay from the one person whose opinion mattered now. She took a deep breath and turned to Dominik. “I want to try . . . something.”

Arching one brow, Dominik nodded slowly, taking a sip of his drink before replying. “Such as?”

Her gaze drifted toward where Chicklet attached clamps to Tyler’s nipples while Laura rubbed her cheek against his thigh, moving closer and closer to the erection that seemed almost painfully contained by his tight shorts.

Ah, okay. Not that.

But the scene between Jami, Luke, and Sebastian. Akira’s teeth scraped her bottom lip as Luke continued his intricate knot work. Kneeling, her arms bound behind her, Jami’s shorts were completely covered by what looked like a skirt made of black and red ropes. The way Luke continued up her body made it seem like he was constructing a dress for her. A
very
restrictive dress. Akira’s pulse quickened until she saw the expression on her friend’s face. Jami peered up at Sebastian as he spoke to her, responding with a slight smile on her lips.

Akira’s favorite books had scenes like this. Bondage that was erotic all on its own, the firm grip of the rope, the texture, the surrender of control, and . . . and so much more she’d never thought she could experience.

Dominik followed her gaze when she didn’t answer, then shook his head. “Not yet, Akira. Baby steps, remember? I’m impressed that you’re doing so well with all these people—these men around in such a closed space.” As some players crowded around the bar, Akira ground her teeth, hating the cold rush of panic that raced through her veins. She tried to keep her expression neutral, but Dominik’s shrewd look told her he’d noticed. “This is your party. Mingle. See if you’re okay with being close enough to a man to have a conversation with all the music and noise around you.”

“Dance.” She blurted out, then ducked her head as his brow furrowed. Random much? “I mean, I want to dance. I feel the most confident when I’m dancing, but usually I block out everyone around me.”

He nodded slowly. “Jami mentioned that. Try it if you want, but it will help you more if you don’t block everyone out. Stay close to someone you feel comfortable with. Who here makes you feel safe?”

“Besides you?” She grinned at his broad smile, reaching out to cover his hand with hers as she stood. She hadn’t noticed before, but he looked tired. This was the first time his smile seemed genuine. She wanted to keep it that way. “Thank you so much for—”

“I know that look. Don’t worry about me, sweetie. I’m fine.” He straightened, jutting his chin toward the dance floor. “I’m responsible for the club since Richter isn’t here. I can’t dance with you, so I need to know there will be someone close you can turn to if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Okay.” She pressed her lips together as she looked over the throng dancing under flashing strobe lights. So many that she knew as a hockey fan, as an Ice Girl contestant, but few well enough to say she could turn to if she panicked. There was Scott and . . . she scowled as she realized she was seeking out someone who wasn’t there. Who she didn’t
want
to be here. A man she couldn’t stand had no place at her birthday party.

Not like he would even know today is my birthday.

He had to know enough players for someone to have told him. Practically the whole team was here.

Maybe he was smart enough to know he wasn’t welcome.

Doubtful. Akira glanced toward Jami, a tiny stab of envy hitting her as she watched Luke play with her hair and kiss her throat while Sebastian cupped her cheeks in his big hands and claimed her lips. She seemed so relaxed between them, and they gave her so much. The envy faded until all she felt was relief. Jami was so much better off with these men. She’d made some bad choices before, and Akira wasn’t sure she could have handled the grateful way Jami looked at
him
whenever he was around. Like he was her hero or something.

Even though it was his fault she’d been in danger in the first place.

If Jami can forgive him, why can’t you?

Because . . . because there’d been a moment where she’d forgotten herself with him. She hadn’t seen him as he really was. He was a liar. Someone who acted without thinking about the consequences.

Someone she thought about
way
too often.

“What’s on your mind, pet?” Dominik put his hand over her wrist, encircling it slowly, giving her the slightest taste of restraint which helped ease her away from her thoughts. But then the sensation distracted her from his question. She ended up staring at his hand, imagining how it would feel to be in Jami’s place, to be brave enough to immerse herself in everything without being so damn afraid.

Dominik didn’t scare her at all. And after he repeated the question, she forced herself to think of who else she’d be okay with. The answer made her laugh. “Scott.”

“I thought so.” Dominik cocked his head. “Do you know why?”

That was easy. “He’s honest. He might be a total dog, but he’s still a sweetheart. He doesn’t try to pretend to be what he’s not.”

“I’m sure he’d be flattered by that assessment.” Dominik chuckled. “All right, go ahead. I’ll be making rounds, but I will never be too far. Give me a shout if there’s anything.” He stood, pulling her to her feet. “And have fun.”

She nodded, then sprinted away from him, laughing as Scott met her at the edge of the dance floor, twirling her around and kissing her cheek as he said, “Happy birthday.” Dancing with him was so easy. And then she was dancing with Shawn. Then Luke and Jami, who’d finished their little scene. Jami, wrists freed, was still wearing her rope dress, but it didn’t seem to stop her from moving in a sultry sway to the music. She hugged Akira, shooing Luke away for some girl talk.

“Is this okay? I wanted to do something special for your birthday, something that would make you feel stronger before the cruise.” Her noise wrinkled. “I was gonna stay with you, but Dominik said it wouldn’t do you much good to have me glued to your side the entire time. And when I saw Luke and Sebastian—”

“This is perfect!” Akira hissed in a breath as Shawn danced close behind her. Not
too
close though. It was like all the men had been given very specific instructions. None would touch her. She’d actually had to grab Scott’s hands to put them on her waist during “Bump N’ Grind
.”
He’d laughed and smacked her butt, making her jump and giggle. And gave her a sense of freedom she hadn’t felt for so long. She could be like any other girl, flirting and having fun.

“You good?” Jami gave Shawn a hard look, and he backed off enough that she couldn’t feel him behind her anymore. Almost immediately, Scott was there, dancing like everything was cool, but watching her like a guard dog.

“I’m fine!” Akira rolled her eyes. “You missed your man, Jami! Dance with him! Don’t worry about me!”

Sebastian joined them, and Akira could feel his eyes on her as she tugged Scott close and grinded back against Shawn. Everyone was so worried. But she was perfect. She felt powerful, as if everything that had been holding her back had finally let her go.

Still, part of her stayed trapped, looking for the man who wasn’t here. Who shouldn’t be.

And a quiet, secret part of her wished he was.

* * * *

Leaving Ramos and Carter to keep an eye on Akira, Scott headed out to the parking lot for some fresh air. A few too many drinks, a bit too much exposed male flesh, was making him feel reckless. Seeing the warning in Ramos’ eyes when he’d caught Scott checking out Carter’s ass had helped sober him enough to take a break. He had a feeling Ramos wouldn’t be sharing the boy anytime soon. If ever. And the naughty fun he’d had with Jami before the summer had likely been a onetime thing. There was something tangible between the three, stronger than before—a connection that left no room for outside play.

He took a deep inhale and pressed his eyes shut, laughing at himself for getting all worked up just watching a guy dance that he’d seen naked in the showers a hundred times.

Desperate much?

Hell, he couldn’t help but look, even though he knew very well he wouldn’t find what he needed from just anyone. Which left him a little antsy, like he had an itch somewhere he couldn’t reach and no one would scratch for him. Things had been so much simpler when he could fuck whoever, whenever, get his rocks off, and move on with his life. Sex had never meant anything. It was just something he did.

Not anymore.

Why though? Why did proving himself feel like more of a commitment than being in an actual relationship? Maybe he should just do what everyone expected of him. Fuck Sahara or some random bunny of either sex. Get it over with.

You’ve got no one to impress.

No one at all.

Steady footsteps came from behind and he caught a whiff of cigarette smoke. He bit into his tongue, the cravings he hadn’t had since he’d quite at nineteen adding to the irritation of everything else he’d denied himself. He glanced over his shoulder and spotted Ford, in a thin leather jacket despite the heat, a few days’ worth of stubble darkening his sharp features.

Ford arched a brow, then gestured with the pack he’d been stuffing into the pocket of his black jeans. He pulled one out when Scott nodded.

“Everything okay in there?” Ford asked as he lit Scott’s cigarette.

Scott shrugged and took a long drag. Letting the smoke out slowly, he angled toward the door, clearing his throat as the urge to cough tickled his throat. “Akira seems happy.”

“Good.” Ford puffed on his cigarette, his expression thoughtful. “She deserves to be happy.”

“You going in to see her?”

“I was thinking about it.” Ford flicked his cigarette, his features tense as he brought it to his lips again. “Not sure if I should though.”

“Why the fuck not? I thought you, Jami, and her were all friends.” Scott rolled his tongue around his mouth, wondering what the appeal of smoking had been. His mouth tasted like he’d taken a big bite of charred toast. “Go on in. I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”

Letting out a sharp laugh with a cloud of smoke, Ford shook his head. “Guess you didn’t hear how it was my fault Jami got grabbed. Akira can’t stand me.”

Interesting. Scott had heard some stuff about what had happened to Jami but nothing about Ford. He could see Akira holding a grudge if Ford had somehow been involved—she was damn loyal, but that didn’t explain why Ford had come to see her on her birthday. “I’m missing something.”

“Yeah, well . . .” Ford dropped his cigarette and crushed it under his heel, which made Scott feel better about doing the same. “We almost had something. Figure she’s got to forgive me someday.” He gave the clear sky above a grim look. “Maybe.”